The point is, you have got to balance the competing interests. I can guarantee that whatever pain a person feels, barring extraordinary physical pain, most often not the case, is less than the pain to their family and therein proves the selfishness. I cannot speak to their pain with certainty, but I can say this with certainty, people who write notes and make it obvious they killed themselves are causing more pain than they need to. It is wanton. Instead, they should make it look like an accident. That way, nobody has to wonder if they drove the individual to do it