[quote=Expllo]
Looks better atleast.Just a few things about the history:1. I doubt anyone privileged would want to kick his ass just because he wants to join the Gotei 13, especially since at a time like this they can use all the help they can get. And since a Captain (Kenpachi) started from the slums and probably became one of the, if not the, strongest member of the Gotei 13. Just saying, just a tiny nit-pick, but it's not something you have to change.2. Don't understand why someone would want to take his eye in a training session.....This again is just a nit-pick, but I just don't understand that part....3. At graduation, he received his Zanpakuto, learning his name within 5 days. Despite being unseated, the man shows promise.Although you probably wouldn't unlock your Shikai by instructors training, I'm 99.9% sure you have your Zanpakuto while in the academy.....Which is why you would learn Zanjutsu.....So, yeah, that's that.Abilities I still think you could write better, but here goes nonetheless.Fear inducement(minor, but all it does is the equivalent of an increased heartrate) there are the after effects of being fearful of Sankontessuo's wielder for the duration of 6 posts, with a cool down of 3 posts - I would make the cool down more fair/a bit higher, but I'd say after the fear inducement wore off then the cooldown starts....That's just me though. This is probably something I should have opinions on.a slash similar to a getsuga tensho in function.(one post cool down/1 post duration.) It is named Shadow wave or Kage no nami - Kurisa stated he wants atleast a two post cool down for the max cool downs to avoid spamming post after post. Since this ability isn't really on effects and is just a blunt attack I'd give it about a two - four cool down, personally.Darkness generation similar to what Tosen was able to do but without the sensory deprivation, rather, it simply forces the battlefield to shrink to a more intimate level by way of illusion. Lasts for entire battles but cannot be used for 6 posts afterwards. Takes 6 posts to be able to use. As yet, Sankontessuo has not revealed the name of this move to him. As a result its effectiveness is reduced by 50% - I understand that the point may be so the opponent has limited amount of room to move (By illusion), but the whole battle and then just a six post cool down to use again? No, absolutely not. What'll make it more fair is that it's an ability he can use once per day, then the whole battle shrinking area thing would be fair. Or give a post duration on how long the ability lasts, then have it have a six post cool down.
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That and I just noticed his Zanpakuto type is combat and he has an Illusion move. So if anything his Zanpakuto type is Illusion and Melee.