“How silly,” Elle scoffed at how harshly Red’s tale had been twisted, “I suppose they all believe you are bald and have mouse ears too!”

Looking up, she smiled and waved to Rapunzel. “Afternoon, darling,” she said in her cheerful Russian accent. While waving to her she saw just down the street, who but the supposed charming prince elbow deep in dirt, frowning and mumbling to himself. She held back a laugh. Certainly he was a pretty prince, but even roses had malicious thorns. 

“Poor little princey,” she chuckled, “He really should ask for help if he’s goin’ tu be planting things.”

“Oh dear mermaid,” Elle giggled, “If only it vere just children! Did yu know in de adult version of my tale, apparently I speak to corpses an’ my sisters cut off their heels and toes just to vear my shoes?” The gardener laughed meerily. “Some may be angry, but I find it merely amuseing that vere are all so very frail and stupid in these ‘romantic tales’.”

“Oh dear mermaid,” she shook her head, “Apparently you sale your pretty tail for legs by cutting out your tongue as vell! Vell, at least in de Russian version anyvay.”

“Rapunzel is blind in the Russian version,” Elle muttered, brushing her hands on her apron, “And falls in love vith a burglar. And vhen her criminal love abbandons her, her mother pretends as burglar to make Rapunzel fight vith and break up. Only Rapunzel gets so mad she pushes her mother right out de vindow. Poor thing.” She adjusted her sun hat. “Oh and Rapunzel dies of starvation in her tower.”

She looked over at the prince, still in dirt. “Vell did you hear de many things ‘Prince Charming’ over there has done in his tales?” she giggled, whispering to the other girls, “Apparently he kisses dead girl to vake from slumbers and slays old women disguised as dragons! Not to mention he is ‘charming, vitty and charismatic’.” She looked over at him and smirked. “Dere are many things he is and none of thoes come to mind.”