Alex's eyes snapped up to meet her's, as if he hadn't been aware of her before. His expression was blank, but his eyes were filled with pain. "I didn't w-want to." His voice hiccuped a little, like it had when he was holding back tears as a child. "I just, I just don't think I c-can take it." He only barely had the presence of mind to put up a soundproof water bubble around them. He didn't want the students hearing him. "Nyx, I g-gave up on seeing you again. I ran away from home and lived on the streets. I've broken laws, hurt people, sometimes cruelly." He got to his feet and brought his voice under control. "I've [i]changed[/i]. I've [i]killed people[/i] Nyx. How can I just pretend everything is alright and look you in the eyes? How can I pretend you won't judge me for my sins, or run away? How do you expect me to smile when I see you, knowing that you'll hate what I've become? I closed my heart so I wouldn't die from the pain of what I did, and you came and broke a hole in that shell. [b]How can I pretend I deserve your smile when I've become a monster?![/b]" He slumped against the wall again, sliding down until his head was between his legs. "You can't save me Nyx, not again. You're twenty years too late."