(if someone posts before I manage this I'll change the silly monologue)

"[i]It was a gray, miserable day. The kind of day that leaves the possibility of rain hanging over your head like a piñata filled with cold disappointment...or black licorice. It had been quiet around the agency for a long time now, and our money had dribbled out and dried up just like a rusty old kitchen sink. I couldn't afford anything better than discount bento for the last two days, and the presence of sweets and ice cream at the supermarket and snacks from vending machines had begun to haunt me like cruel and alluring sirens, threatening to drive me mad each time we passed by them to go buy less expensive, tasteless fare. My mood was becoming as bleak as the skies above." [/i] 

The speaker of this odd monologue was one Iwajima Jun, currently sitting slumped over in a chair that was usually reserved for guests or important clients. He was staring at the ceiling with a look of absolute despair on his face, seemingly entranced by his own monologue. Despite being indoors he was wearing a heavy trenchcoat. Even closer inspection would reveal that he had a lollipop in his mouth that he occasionally fiddled with while he spoke, perhaps in imitation of his legal guardian's smoking habit. He perked up and focused on Toshiko as she walked down the stairs, nevertheless continuing his pretend narration.

[i] "Suddenly, my boss walked down the stairs and into my office! She was a cruel woman, always forbidding me from watching the one tiny TV in her office and filling our living space with the kind of cigarette smoke that clung to her like cheap perfume. But from the look on her face it was easy enough to tell that she might finally have another well-paying job, and right now money means hope!" [/i]

Jun hopped off of the chair and ran over to Toshiko and despite his tough-guy monologuing, was practically hopping from one foot to the other in sheer excitement. Or at least relief from boredom.

"Toshiko-nee! Toshiko-nee! What's the job this time! Are we gonna have to find a statue with a hidden message inside? capture some mage's lost familiar before it goes berserk? Ooh ooh! We have to track down a murderer before he uses all sorts of dead souls to make an artifact of evil! What is it! Tell meeeee!~"