[quote=Theobromine] So... We needed more females and good guys/heroes. I think the numbers are being filled in quite nicely. xD [/quote] [u]I still don't think there's enough heroes, actually. One of the villains is just overpowered to the core.[/u] It's feedback time. Also, do note that I give feedback through an non-favoring way, so please read what I have to say with attention. (I'm not always going for sh-ts and giggles) --- [b][u]Mary Ciercelt[/u][/b] [*]I would like to know how heavy these weapons she carries are, because I don't think she'll be lifting stuff like school buildings and using them as a regular weapon... right? o.o'[/*] [*]Her weakness of not being able to use magic is seemingly mitigated by the fact that [u]she can take damage pretty well[/u]. I recommend that this particular section is somehow balanced, because having both of these can be unfair for magic users.[/*] [*]Body Mastery is by far one of the strongest, yet [i]way too powerful[/i] abilities so far. It's basically saying that several magic users who rely on hemokinesis, telekinesis, or mind-control (which no one literally has right at the moment) cannot be used on her, The very fact that she has [i]this[/i] [b]AND[/b] [i]the power to use immense amounts of power without consequences could make up a particularly ridiculous combination.[/i] My recommendation is to completely scratch out one of these, or somehow balance the two to give others some room for counterplay.[/*] [*]She also has [i]Ciercelt Hunter[/i], which means that, so far, she has insane defense, fairly high offense, and the ability to see through her opponents and do something pretty... unfair. I recommend you to look into this and try balancing the skills out, because so far, this character has a generally unhealthy kit right at the moment. I'm pretty sure it'll be easy for you to edit them out, though.[/*] --- [b][u]Valentine Ciercelt[/u][/b] [*]Nothing in particular is actually overpowered about this timid girl, but some clarification on her use on "mana" will be appreciated to clear confusion.[/*] --- [b][u]Avelynn Ciercelt[/u][/b] [*]Arcanist is a tadbit overpowered if you add in the fact that Avelynn is, from what I could tell, a [u]sniper[/u] and [u]has no energy sources like mana[/u]. The library should be toned down, or an energy source should be made to provide some counterplay. (This may not have been your intention, but I like to see more details on what consequences there are in using a library of an entire arsenal of spells)[/*] [*]If she can use magic bolts with great efficiency and speed, I doubt that her ability to [u]snipe[/u] should be accepted as well. Basically, she can fling down a rain of energy bolts on people that cannot see her without becoming exhausted. It's pretty... unfair, I guess. The fact that these bolts seemingly have a high damage output begins to put it in the path of an overpowered ability.[/*] [*]I personally do not think her weakness of being weak in close-range combat actually exists if she can: [indent]1. Do equal damage with her magic in any kind of range. 2. Set up traps and fire fast magic bolts at a fast pace. 3. Analyze her enemy and know how to dodge pretty much most of their attacks.[/indent] I feel like this is not actually a weakness, but more of a general analysis. An actual weakness would really be recommended.[/*] --- [b][u]Summarization[/u][/b] [b]Mary[/b]: Needs a rework of balance in her kit. She has advantages in nearly everything, and provides no counterplay for both magic users [u]and[/u] physical fighters. And [i]Anger[/i] does not qualify as an actual weakness if she can't be easily taken down anyway. [b]Valentine[/b]: No problems here. Just a clarification on her mana system would be nice. [b]Avelynn[/b]: Needs a rework of abilities in her kit. She does not have an actual weakness (like Mary, who can pretty much avoid fatal damage with [i]Ciercelt Hunter[/i]) and can easily avoid it by using unmentioned abilities in her "library of spells" (a summary of what's in the library would be nice). Horizon Mage + No Energy System makes her an unfair opponent in nearly all circumstances when combined with her lack of weaknesses. --- Very interesting concept, and a huge (pleasant) surprise as well! Some balancing and tweaking would make me gladly accept these characters, but we'll have to wait and see for the changes. :) I hope all three of them make it in soon. This party's going to rock really hard soon! --- EDIT: POSTING AT IC TOMORROW. I'm pretty tired.