The only known remote-controlled self-destruct was on an asgard ship, and that may have been installed specifically to be used remotely.

Security-wise, you would never install a self-destruct system that can be triggered from outside the ship/facility/base/whatever. Its far too easy for someone to break through the safety protocols. On smaller vessels like Al'kesh or Tel'taks, these systems, even if somehow activated, can easily be deactivated locally.