Ahh yeahhh, get it gurl x) Nice job!

A camp counselor sounds like a great summer job! How old would the kids be? My brother and I used to go to a week long summer camp up in Michigan every summer with our friends who lived up there, from when I was in elementary school all the way through middle school. It was fun times x) I remember the week feeling like a reeeaalllyyy long time haha. 

Yeah it's a really good feeling to have someone read your writing, enjoy it, and actually want more x) I've never had any aspirations to be an author or a journalist or anything, but I really do love writing as a hobby. And then to find someone who's willing to read what I write and send me a beautiful, well-written reply, just for me?? That's pretty amazing :D Writing helps my design process too. A lot of times, before I start a design/art project, I do a free writing exercise just to get all my initial thoughts down and start organizing them. I do that sometimes when I feel upset about something too, but I do that on scrap pieces of paper and not in a journal or anything since I can never reread what I wrote without cringing later haha. 

Well phew, that's good that you don't feel unsafe or anything at school. I'm trying to think if we had any kind of incident like that at our school. I don't think anyone was ever caught with a weapon or anything, but I do remember that there was this huge fight and some girl got really angry and punched a window outside one of the classrooms and it shattered and freaked everyone out inside x)

Alright, I'll try the Grudge... *gulp* If I have to... x) And you don't [i]have[/i] to think of a really scary one. You [i]could[/i] just keep giving me nice, relatively easy going ones x) 

Ok so one of my best friends, Simon, and I are pretty much the only ones in our group of design friends who are staying here in Raleigh for the summer. We've been hanging out a bunch already and I've been telling him oh I need to watch the Shining, and then Ringu, and now I need to watch the Grudge, lol (without telling him there's this Horror Queen who has somehow convinced me to scare myself to death) and so we've decided to have two movie nights a week this whole summer and watch as many good movies as we can. The idea is I show him two that he hasn't seen, then he shows me two I haven't seen. This week is Fatal Attraction and A Beautiful Mind. I'm trying to get more movie ideas, so far I have those last two, The King's Speech, The Patriot, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Amelie, Mary and Max, 12 Angry Men, and Life is Beautiful. I have a bunch of other all time favorite movies but he's seen them: Inception, Gladiator, The Others, Avatar, Slumdog Millionaire, Spirited Away, Forrest Gump, The Shawshank Redemption, Memento. What are like your top five movies? 

I must have listened to that song you suggested, Fitzpleasure, a dozen times. I had never listened to Alt J and now I'm look up all the songs x) Heh, yeah I can imagine a solo to that song maybe being a little too much for your competition. Must be 18yrs or older x) I keep forgetting your age because you write so well and sound so mature. 

It doesn't sound dumb at all to want to get that stuff off your chest. I bet your counselor would be really cool about it and maybe she could give you better advice than I could. But you can talk about it as much as you want, and I'll probably relate to it x) I mean, I can definitely relate to having debates with myself and to feeling like an asshole/pervert when I finally did become aware of how I felt and feeling guilty too. The hardest thing for me is that back and forth between being cool with it and slipping into partial denial, even now after I've admitted it to myself. Someone I admire, like one of my parents makes a somewhat derisive comment about gay rights in the US and I think, I can't be, I just can't, this won't work, I can't deal with this. They're not bad people, and they joke to get reactions out of their super PC kids (my brother groans at these jokes too, which makes me soooo happy. I've never told him, but I'm almost positive he knows). They would never disown me or anything crazy and they would be supportive. I don't ever go back to "I'm not attracted to girls." But I do go back to "I may be attracted, but only my friends can ever know, no one else." 

So awfully amazing, yes. It seems cruel now, but when it was happening, I didn't want it to stop. I do think it's really good that we're separated by colleges now though. I don't think that was a positive influence on me :( No one like that at the moment though, yay! I'm totally obsessed with this bromance with Simon. He, his girlfriend (who's a total sweetheart) and I have become pretty close this year.