From the bottom of my heart, and with all of my honesty.

I think you should fuck yourself with a crowbar. Sideways.

I'm not jealous of you, in any way. There's nothing to be jealous of.

What am I supposed to be jealous of?

Your usage of an overcomplicated system that is certain to start arguments every single time it's used?
Your extremely opinionated views on other people's characters, insulting them when you see them and when you don't?
A propensity for inciting arguments for no good reason?

I'm not jealous of you, yo.

I'm just easily angered.