[quote=Turtlicious]
It's because I have this fear that if I post on reddit the universe will try to correct itself and basically force my girlfriend into a platonic friendship with me. Then I would be a pathetic bitter husk of a person, with my fedora in one hand, and flutterdash rainbow shy figurine in the other.
[/quote]

Sheesh it's TwilightJack, Rarity pie Figurine.