[CENTER]I CAN'T FACE THE DARK WITHOUT YOU[/CENTER]

It was heart-wrenching, and as the thunder rumbled across the sky, one blonde girl with her wavy tresses a mess, was driving her heart out on her way to Mercy Central Hospital. The phone call she had received just a half an hour earlier had made her heart jump into her stomach, and as she sped in the rain, she could feel the tears running down her face. Her life always seemed to be one bad story after another, and always full of darkness. Ryan Lockhart wasn't ready to do this, and she was just hoping that things weren't as bad as theysounded. She was just an exit and fifteen minutes away, her car an absolute mess. The newer Chevy Camaro had been her home since she had gotten it when she was 16, and her parents' house was where she stayed when it was convient for them.

James had changed that though, and most of the time she would stay with him overnight, but all of that waschanging, as her parents finally found a cheap, but cute apartment that they would pay for. Ryan shook her head, pushing the thought from her mind as she lit up a cigarette and turned up the radio. She was trying very hard not to cry her eyes out. Maybe she was just over thinking things. Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad, but Hailey sounded so urgent, and Ryan couldn't help but to think the worst.

When she parked in the lot, she put out her cigarette, and she ran her fingers through her hair and she pulled her hair up into a loose bun, and she looked herself over. She was wearing a pair of black jeans and a large white t-shirt that she had snagged from James, but it was hidden beneath her large grey hoodie. She wiped the running mascara from under her eyes, and reached into her trashed back seat and pulled out a black bag. She opened up one of the pill bottles insides and shoved the medicine in her mouth before swallowing and heading into the waiting room.

And there they were. Hailey, Blake, and Joshua. All of them standing there, as if waiting for her. But Ryan froze when she saw them, her emotions were clearly not bright and optimistic as they normally were aroundthese three... now they were showing as the tears reformed in her eyes. James was in the hospital room, and Ryan could barely fathom what Hailey was feeling. She finally approached the group, and as she strode towards them, she could hear it. The damn voice. The one only James knew she heard.

[I]I told you, my dear. I told you that all he would do is hurt you.[/I] the sickly, sweet voice rang faintly. [I]I will always be here for you.[/I]

She faintly shook her head, and when she got o the group, her arms immediately went around Hailey. She was trying so hard to be strong, but she was only able to be strong for so long without knowing. And standing there with three of her closest friends was hard especially knowing that the last was in a hospital bed. James, her light, and someone she loved more than life itself, was in that hospital bed. It brought so much back to her, and a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She should be in that hospital bed, as she had been so many times before. Or she should have been elsewhere like she had returned from at the beginning of the summer. Something James had lied for her about.

[I]The car was packed full, as per usual, of her things, but this time, Ryan was in the passenger seat of her Camaro, and James was driving, making the two hour drive back from Waverly Institute. It had been quiet for the last ten minutes, and Ryan looked to James, who was focused on the road in front of them. "Do they know?" She finally whispered, and James could see the tears on her face. He reached over and took her hand in his, and she looked to him.

"I told them you were visiting your grandparents because it didn't look like your grandma was going to make it. This summer may suck a little, with you missing the last month of school and having to take a few weeks of summer school, but it will be fun as always." He assured her, and Ryan nodded. She had only talked to James while she was gone, her phone having been locked away while she was at Waverly. 

"Thank you." She whispered, and he nodded as they came to the first red light before getting onto the highway. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, and she smiled.

"I just have to ask. What happened? You've been doing so good. Taking your meds, staying away from the hard stuff, going to your appointments. I just have to know." He asked, and she looked out the window, gripping tighter onto his hand.

"I guess the stress of the day and everything else, I juat relapsed. You know I can't control it." She said, and he nodded.

"We've missed you the last month and a half. I was going to come visit, but I got wrapped up with things at home." James informed her, and she nodded.

"It's probably better that you didn't." She said, and she turned on the radio, and looked to him. She leaned over this time and kissed his cheek. "I just want to get home."

And with that, James and Ryan continued on home, singing along to the radio, and when they got back, Ryan was pretty well attacked by the others, saying how much they missed her.[/I]

Ryan hadn't realized she had zoned out as much as she had, but the voice that came alerted her that she had been pretty gone. "Are you guys here for James Wilson?" The nurse asked, and when they nodded, she sighed. "Come, you may not have long to visit."

Ryan's heart dropped again, but as they followed the nurse, she tried to fight back the tears. Then they were let in the room where James was lying there, pale, and with IVs and oxygen tubes in him. Ryan froze at the doorway, the others entering before she did. She couldn't find it in herself to go in, but finally she did, and she stood at the foot of the bed, trying to hide her tears.

"Hey guys." He whispered, but it seemed to be as loud as he could talk, and when his eyes locked with Ryan's, he looked away, briefly. He then looked back and smiled, but he wasn't going to reassure them he was going to be okay. "Hey, don't cry."

Ryan looked to him, and she moved and sat on the bed, opposite Hailey, and took his hand in both of hers. "I'm glad you guys are here. This place is so... depressing." He said, swallowing hard. Ryan couldn't speak though, and she tried to warm up his hand. It was hard to see him like this. Someone who was so strong looking so weak, it was very hard.

----

[CENTER]I WILL NOT BOW, I WILL NOT BREAK, I WILL SHUT THE WORLD AWAY[/CENTER]

Mercy Central Hospital. Joshua could count on his hands how many times he had been here. Once his freshmen year of high school after a rather stupid fight he and his father had where he fell down the stairs and broke his arm and sustained a slight concussion. Then there was sophomore year when Ryan had to have her appendix removed, and they all came to visit her to lift her spirits. Again later that year when James had to have his tonsils removed, and then again when Ryan got rear ended the summer before their Junior year and got a minor concussion. Mercy Central Hospital never felt so serious though because he always had his friends, and they were always laughing and smiling after the initial worry. This time was different. 

Joshua had caught a ride from Blake after he had gotten the phone call, his father having borrowed the car that Joshua had saved for with his money from the job he had at the local movie theater while his was in the shop. And the car ride had been silent, considering how Hailey sounded on the phone. Joshua was unsure of what to make of it, but he wasn't in denial. It was bad, and he knew to brace himself for the worst.

When they entered the waiting room, and saw Hailey there, Joshua knew that Ryan hadn't made it yet, but knew she would be there any minute. This was James after all, and they all knew where the two stood with each other. It was obviousx and always had been, and after a while, they had stopped denying it. And to know how severe the situation was, he knew this wasn't going to be full of laughter... more or less, it would be drowning in tears.

He walked over to Hailey, and placed a hand on her shoulder, Blake would be better in this situation simply because he was more emotionally stable whereas Joshua just didn't really understand how to feel. He hadn't really needed to before this group. They had showed him that you needed people, and friends to get on in life. It had definitely changed his, and he owed it all to James. 

He could remember the first time he met James, and it seemed that clinging to happy times would be best for now. He could vividly remember it all.

[I]"Hey look, it's the little nerd boy." One of the eighth graders said to another of his friends. They had always picked on Joshua because he had to wear thick glasses and he was in all advanced classes. Standing at his locker, trying to get his books out and one of the eighth graders walked over and pushed him, knocking his books to the floor. 

"What's the matter? Can't hold all your books in your arms?" He taunted, and Joshua picked up his books just to have them knocked out of his arms again. He sighed and continued to pick up his books and have them knocked down.

"Hey, pick on someone tour own size." A voice came, and Joshua knew him as James Wilson, having had gym with him. For a sixth grader, James was tall and built for his age. He had to have hit a growth spurt early, at least that was what Joshua had figured. After a moment the eighth graders walked off, and James helped Joshua pick up his books.

"Where are you going?" James asked, "The cafeteria is this way."

"I eat lunch in Mr. Erickson's classroom." Joshua admitted. James shook his head.

"Not today, buddy, you can sit with me and my friends." James smiled. "I'm James Wilson, by the way."

"I'm Joshua Brown." He responded, and James threw an arm over Joshua's shoulder as they walked to the cafeteria. When they got to the table, with their lunches, James smiled to the boy and girl already there.

"Joshua, this is Hailey, my sister, and Blake, my best friend. Guys, this is Joshua." He introduced and Joshua gave a small wave, setting his things down and sat with them and ate lunch.[/I]

To this day, it amazed Joshua how eating lunch with them once changed his life, but his eyes were soon on the door, where Ryan now stood, and she immediately walked over and hugged Hailey. Joshua could tell that she had been crying already, but he couldn't blame her, not exactly. This was hard, and soon they were allowed back to see James.

When they got back to the room, Joshua had never seen James in such a state. He looked pale and weak, like if you touched him he would shatter, but he still had a brave look in his eyes, like always. He sat off to the side in a chair, nearest Hailey, who was standing very close to her twin brother. Then Ryan came in, and hearing him talk was heart wrenching. He was sure that their parents were off getting something to eat, but still, seeing James like this was hard.

"So..." Joshua began, and James looked to him, turni g his head slightly to see him. "What happened?"

He wasn't sure if Hailey had known, but she didn't say anything about it. James shifted a bit, and he winced in pain. "They say my heart isn't pumping enough blood, so I passed out."

Joshua looked at him, and he knew now how grave the situation was, but seeing James be so brave gave him a bit of hope. He closed his eyes trying to process everything, but he was finding it very hard.