@RiteousTurtle: Wow... Just wow. Really, kudos. Great character. I can't wait how he will deal with what the events that are to come, esp. one plot twist. This oughta be interesting.

@Tiberious: Much better. If I were to nitpick, however, you could add a small description on how it would be possible for the victim to break the illusion. It doesn't need to be obvious or easy, however.

@Rultaos: Everything checks out with the edit.

As for the general storytelling plan, I gave it some though. First and foremost, I would be that sort of "Dungeon Master", which throws the main events in action in my posts, or make something happen near a character/characters. Other than the initial "nudge" of direction, the plot is yours to create and amongst the grander things that will unfold. While Mages vs Paladins will remain the central conflict, over time, a lot more variables will be thrown into the mix. 

Now I just wonder should I create characters of my own, or not.