[quote=Jangel13]
is mine better now?
[/quote]

Ok so I've been reading through yours and talked to dirkinz and I think I know what the problems are. 

1. You need to explain your magic, more then just titling it. Yes you have lightning magic but what kind of magic, give examples! Does lightning form around your body? Do you shoot lightning out of your fingers? Do you call lightning down from the sky? Or do you do something else? 
2. In your history, you state that you performed magic in a small town but that wouldn't get you any money, people don't really like magic.
3. In general write more! Describe your characters actions with more details. How did your character do the action? What was your character feeling when he did it?