Phoebe walked to the cafeteria, in a world of her own. Her thoughtd were troubling her. She shouldn't have sent that email to her mother. It just made her think of things that would be better off left alone.

like why didn't her mother bother seeing her? Was she that pathetic, that as an adult she still carved that one dream many kids at the orphange had, to have a family? To search for a place to belong? She had found that, hadn't she, here? She had friends here,..she had been hanging out with Ryan, who seemed to genuiningly like her. 

But no, here she was just a student like all the others. Nothing special.

she sighed and grabbed some food, walking to the gardens and sitting down under a tree. She hated herself that she took out her ohone and checked her email. Nothing, of course, and no matter how many times she checked, there would always be nothing. 

How did she even know she had the right email? She could just be sending random emails to a random person who might not even have the heart to tell her that she was doing so. "You shouldn't be seeking her approvsl pheebs" she muttered to herself.

that was true, why did she do it though? It wasn't as if her mother deserved to know anything about her. Yet she still wanted her to know those things, to know everything, even if she didn't care about phoebe.

Phoebe stared down at the food in her hands, suddenly unable to eat it. She closed her eyes tight, struggling against tears that threatened to spill. 

She dropped the food, letting her head fall into her hands, taking deep, steadying breaths.