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briʓantium.
ゴキブリエンパイア


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No. Name || July 24th, 2018




wonderland.
そ れ は 地 獄 で す


i w a s l o s t f o l l o w i n g a w h i t e r a b b i t m o m m y w h e n i f i n a l l y c a u g h t h i m h e g a v e m e a n e g g a n d t o l d m e w e a r e o u t o f t i m e w h e n i t u r n e d a r o u n d t o g o h o m e i s a w m y l i f e f l a s h b e f o r e m y e y e s a n d i h a t e d w h a t i s a w i h a t e d w h a t i s a w s o m u c h t h a t i d e c i d e d t o f o r g e t w h o i w a s i f o r g o t m y n a m e i f o r g o t w h e r e i w a s f r o m i f o r g o t w h o y o u w e r e i f o r g o t w h o d a d d y w a s i f o r g o t w h a t c o l o r s w e r e i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e s a d i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e h a p p y i f o r g o t e v e r y t h i n g i a m s o s o r r y m o m m y p l e a s e k e e p t h i s a s e c r e t f r o m d a d d y h e w i l l n e v e r f o r g i v e m e i f h e f i n d s o u t i p r o m i s e t o n e v e r d o i t a g a i n i w a s r e a l l y s c a r e d m o m m y i w a s s u r r o u n d e d b y d a r k n e s s i w a s b l i n d a l l i s a w w a s b l a c k e x c e p t f o r a s m a l l w h i t e d o t i t l o o k e d l i k e a k e y h o l e i t l o o k e d l i k e a c a n d l e f l a m e i t l o o k e d l i k e a n e x i t i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e f o r t h e m i d n i g h t s e r v i c e a n d i s t a r t e d r u n n i n g t o w a r d s i t b u t i w a s a d o g n o w a n d t h e d a r k n e s s w a s c r o w s a n d t h e f l i c k e r i n g l i g h t w a s a r a b b i t i w a s c h a s i n g a r a b b i t m o m m y a n d t h e c r o w s w e r e c h a s i n g m e w e n e v e r w a n t e d t o s t o p w e w e n t i n c i r c l e s f o r e v e r u n t i l i r e a l i z e d i w a s l o s t i w a s l o s t f o l l o w i n g a w h i t e r a b b i t m o m m y w h e n i f i n a l l y c a u g h t h i m h e g a v e m e a n e g g a n d t o l d m e w e a r e o u t o f t i m e w h e n i t u r n e d a r o u n d t o g o h o m e i s a w m y l i f e f l a s h b e f o r e m y e y e s a n d i h a t e d w h a t i s a w i h a t e d w h a t i s a w s o m u c h t h a t i d e c i d e d t o f o r g e t w h o i w a s i f o r g o t m y n a m e i f o r g o t w h e r e i w a s f r o m i f o r g o t w h o y o u w e r e i f o r g o t w h o d a d d y w a s i f o r g o t w h a t c o l o r s w e r e i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e s a d i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e h a p p y i f o r g o t e v e r y t h i n g i a m s o s o r r y m o m m y p l e a s e k e e p t h i s a s e c r e t f r o m d a d d y h e w i l l n e v e r f o r g i v e m e i f h e f i n d s o u t i p r o m i s e t o n e v e r d o i t a g a i n i w a s r e a l l y s c a r e d m o m m y i w a s s u r r o u n d e d b y d a r k n e s s i w a s b l i n d a l l i s a w w a s b l a c k e x c e p t f o r a s m a l l w h i t e d o t i t l o o k e d l i k e a k e y h o l e i t l o o k e d l i k e a c a n d l e f l a m e i t l o o k e d l i k e a n e x i t i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e f o r t h e m i d n i g h t s e r v i c e a n d i s t a r t e d r u n n i n g t o w a r d s i t b u t i w a s a d o g n o w a n d t h e d a r k n e s s w a s c r o w s a n d t h e f l i c k e r i n g l i g h t w a s a r a b b i t i w a s c h a s i n g a r a b b i t m o m m y a n d t h e c r o w s w e r e c h a s i n g m e w e n e v e r w a n t e d t o s t o p w e w e n t i n c i r c l e s f o r e v e r u n t i l i r e a l i z e d i w a s l o s t i w a s l o s t f o l l o w i n g a w h i t e r a b b i t m o m m y w h e n i f i n a l l y c a u g h t h i m h e g a v e m e a n e g g a n d t o l d m e w e a r e o u t o f t i m e w h e n i t u r n e d a r o u n d t o g o h o m e i s a w m y l i f e f l a s h b e f o r e m y e y e s a n d i h a t e d w h a t i s a w i h a t e d w h a t i s a w s o m u c h t h a t i d e c i d e d t o f o r g e t w h o i w a s i f o r g o t m y n a m e i f o r g o t w h e r e i w a s f r o m i f o r g o t w h o y o u w e r e i f o r g o t w h o d a d d y w a s i f o r g o t w h a t c o l o r s w e r e i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e s a d i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e h a p p y i f o r g o t e v e r y t h i n g i a m s o s o r r y m o m m y p l e a s e k e e p t h i s a s e c r e t f r o m d a d d y h e w i l l n e v e r f o r g i v e m e i f h e f i n d s o u t i p r o m i s e t o n e v e r d o i t a g a i n i w a s r e a l l y s c a r e d m o m m y i w a s s u r r o u n d e d b y d a r k n e s s i w a s b l i n d a l l i s a w w a s b l a c k e x c e p t f o r a s m a l l w h i t e d o t i t l o o k e d l i k e a k e y h o l e i t l o o k e d l i k e a c a n d l e f l a m e i t l o o k e d l i k e a n e x i t i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e f o r t h e m i d n i g h t s e r v i c e a n d i s t a r t e d r u n n i n g t o w a r d s i t b u t i w a s a d o g n o w a n d t h e d a r k n e s s w a s c r o w s a n d t h e f l i c k e r i n g l i g h t w a s a r a b b i t i w a s c h a s i n g a r a b b i t m o m m y a n d t h e c r o w s w e r e c h a s i n g m e w e n e v e r w a n t e d t o s t o p w e w e n t i n c i r c l e s f o r e v e r u n t i l i r e a l i z e d i w a s l o s t i w a s l o s t f o l l o w i n g a w h i t e r a b b i t m o m m y w h e n i f i n a l l y c a u g h t h i m h e g a v e m e a n e g g a n d t o l d m e w e a r e o u t o f t i m e w h e n i t u r n e d a r o u n d t o g o h o m e i s a w m y l i f e f l a s h b e f o r e m y e y e s a n d i h a t e d w h a t i s a w i h a t e d w h a t i s a w s o m u c h t h a t i d e c i d e d t o f o r g e t w h o i w a s i f o r g o t m y n a m e i f o r g o t w h e r e i w a s f r o m i f o r g o t w h o y o u w e r e i f o r g o t w h o d a d d y w a s i f o r g o t w h a t c o l o r s w e r e i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e s a d i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e h a p p y i f o r g o t e v e r y t h i n g i a m s o s o r r y m o m m y p l e a s e k e e p t h i s a s e c r e t f r o m d a d d y h e w i l l n e v e r f o r g i v e m e i f h e f i n d s o u t i p r o m i s e t o n e v e r d o i t a g a i n i w a s r e a l l y s c a r e d m o m m y i w a s s u r r o u n d e d b y d a r k n e s s i w a s b l i n d a l l i s a w w a s b l a c k e x c e p t f o r a s m a l l w h i t e d o t i t l o o k e d l i k e a k e y h o l e i t l o o k e d l i k e a c a n d l e f l a m e i t l o o k e d l i k e a n e x i t i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e f o r t h e m i d n i g h t s e r v i c e a n d i s t a r t e d r u n n i n g t o w a r d s i t b u t i w a s a d o g n o w a n d t h e d a r k n e s s w a s c r o w s a n d t h e f l i c k e r i n g l i g h t w a s a r a b b i t i w a s c h a s i n g a r a b b i t m o m m y a n d t h e c r o w s w e r e c h a s i n g m e w e n e v e r w a n t e d t o s t o p w e w e n t i n c i r c l e s f o r e v e r u n t i l i r e a l i z e d i w a s l o s t i w a s l o s t f o l l o w i n g a w h i t e r a b b i t m o m m y w h e n i f i n a l l y c a u g h t h i m h e g a v e m e a n e g g a n d t o l d m e w e a r e o u t o f t i m e w h e n i t u r n e d a r o u n d t o g o h o m e i s a w m y l i f e f l a s h b e f o r e m y e y e s a n d i h a t e d w h a t i s a w i h a t e d w h a t i s a w s o m u c h t h a t i d e c i d e d t o f o r g e t w h o i w a s i f o r g o t m y n a m e i f o r g o t w h e r e i w a s f r o m i f o r g o t w h o y o u w e r e i f o r g o t w h o d a d d y w a s i f o r g o t w h a t c o l o r s w e r e i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e s a d i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e h a p p y i f o r g o t e v e r y t h i n g i a m s o s o r r y m o m m y p l e a s e k e e p t h i s a s e c r e t f r o m d a d d y h e w i l l n e v e r f o r g i v e m e i f h e f i n d s o u t i p r o m i s e t o n e v e r d o i t a g a i n i w a s r e a l l y s c a r e d m o m m y i w a s s u r r o u n d e d b y d a r k n e s s i w a s b l i n d a l l i s a w w a s b l a c k e x c e p t f o r a s m a l l w h i t e d o t i t l o o k e d l i k e a k e y h o l e i t l o o k e d l i k e a c a n d l e f l a m e i t l o o k e d l i k e a n e x i t i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e f o r t h e m i d n i g h t s e r v i c e a n d i s t a r t e d r u n n i n g t o w a r d s i t b u t i w a s a d o g n o w a n d t h e d a r k n e s s w a s c r o w s a n d t h e f l i c k e r i n g l i g h t w a s a r a b b i t i w a s c h a s i n g a r a b b i t m o m m y a n d t h e c r o w s w e r e c h a s i n g m e w e n e v e r w a n t e d t o s t o p w e w e n t i n c i r c l e s f o r e v e r u n t i l i r e a l i z e d i w a s l o s t i w a s l o s t f o l l o w i n g a w h i t e r a b b i t m o m m y w h e n i f i n a l l y c a u g h t h i m h e g a v e m e a n e g g a n d t o l d m e w e a r e o u t o f t i m e w h e n i t u r n e d a r o u n d t o g o h o m e i s a w m y l i f e f l a s h b e f o r e m y e y e s a n d i h a t e d w h a t i s a w i h a t e d w h a t i s a w s o m u c h t h a t i d e c i d e d t o f o r g e t w h o i w a s i f o r g o t m y n a m e i f o r g o t w h e r e i w a s f r o m i f o r g o t w h o y o u w e r e i f o r g o t w h o d a d d y w a s i f o r g o t w h a t c o l o r s w e r e i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e s a d i f o r g o t w h a t m a d e m e h a p p y i f o r g o t e v e r y t h i n g i a m s o s o r r y m o m m y p l e a s e k e e p t h i s a s e c r e t f r o m d a d d y h e w i l l n e v e r f o r g i v e m e i f h e f i n d s o u t i p r o m i s e t o n e v e r d o i t a g a i n i w a s r e a l l y s c a r e d m o m m y i w a s s u r r o u n d e d b y d a r k n e s s i w a s b l i n d a l l i s a w w a s b l a c k e x c e p t f o r a s m a l l w h i t e d o t i t l o o k e d l i k e a k e y h o l e i t l o o k e d l i k e a c a n d l e f l a m e i t l o o k e d l i k e a n e x i t i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e i t r e m i n d e d m e t h a t i w a s g o i n g t o b e l a t e f o r t h e m i d n i g h t s e r v i c e a n d i s t a r t e d r u n n i n g t o w a r d s i t b u t i w a s a d o g n o w a n d t h e d a r k n e s s w a s c r o w s a n d t h e f l i c k e r i n g l i g h t w a s a r a b b i t i w a s c h a s i n g a r a b b i t m o m m y a n d t h e c r o w s w e r e c h a s i n g m e w e n e v e r w a n t e d t o s t o p w e w e n t i n c i r c l e s f o r e v e r u n t i l i r e a l i z e d i w a s l o s t i w a s l o s t f o l l o w i n g a w h i t e r a b b i t m o m m y .


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RPGC #18: Adventure Calls || Last Edit: October 10th, 2018




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A Work In Progress || Last Edit: July 26th, 2018


“ truly all things are vanity. life is a shadow and a dream. ”
— Saint Peter of Damascus



normal.
part i

“ people who call themselves crazy aren't really crazy, which is why i call myself crazy. ”


s ᴄ ʜ ɪ ᴢ ᴏ ᴘ ʜ ʀ ᴇ ɴ ɪ ᴀ
[ sᴋɪᴛ • sᴜʜꜰʀᴇᴇ • ɴᴇᴇ • ᴜʜ, • ꜰʀᴇᴇɴʏᴜʜ ]


a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the
relation between thought, emotion, and behavior, leading to faulty
perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from
reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion,
and a sense of mental fragmentation.


ʙ ɪ ᴘ ᴏ ʟ ᴀ ʀ ᴅ ɪ s ᴏ ʀ ᴅ ᴇ ʀ
[ ʙᴀʜʏ • ᴘᴏʜ • ʟᴇʀ ᴅɪs • ʙᴀʜʏ • ᴘᴏʜ • ʟᴇʀ • ᴅᴇʀ ]


an affective disorder characterized by periods of mania alternating
with periods of depression, usually interspersed with relatively long intervals
of normal mood.




normal.
part ii


“ what i see around me would drive me insane if I did not
know that no matter what happens, God will have the last word. ”

— Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain


the russian concept of schizophrenia:
a review of the literature


by Helen Lavretsky

“ after the arrival of Christianity in russia in
the 13th century, mental illness was regarded as God's pun-
ishment the mentally ill were taken care of by monks in
the monasteries and were divided into two large groups—
‘ odd ' and ‘ mad. ' the main principles of care applied by
the russian Orthodox Church were humane treatment and
rehabilitative measures such as gardening and other jobs at
the monasteries. the general public sometimes idealized
the mentally ill as holy—God's creation—and provided
some financial support for the ‘ fools. ' in the medieval
period, descriptions of epilepsy, mental retardation, and
schizophrenia-like illness, as well as alcoholism and alco-
holic psychosis were documented (Fedotov 1983). various
herbal preparations (pepper, caraway, mustard, mint, nuts),
alcoholic tinctures, sedating teas and oils, and honey were
used to treat mental disorders. ”


“ a time is coming when men will go mad,
and when they see someone who is not mad,
they will attack him, saying, ‘ you are mad; you
are not like us. ' ”

— Saint Anthony the Great




normal.
part iii


Acorn by Yoko Ono
C L E A N I N G P I E C E I I I

try to say nothing negative about anybody.

a) for three days
b) for forty-five days
c) for three months

see what happens.

“ Don't criticize or judge other people—regard
everyone else as an angel, justify their mistakes and
weaknesses, and condemn only yourself as the worst sinner.
This is step one in any kind of spiritual life. ”

— St. Paisios of Mt. Athos


fin.
終 了
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An Open Thank You || @Dread


boo.
老子

____________________________________________________________

t h e w h o l e w o r l d i s s c r e a m i n g


____________________________________________________________



w h y a r e n ' t y o u ?


____________________________________________
____________________________________________


i should have stepped away instead of saying something.


he would have never known if i had.


____________________________________________________________

沈黙は最も強力な悲鳴です
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A Satirical Smut Advertisement || Last Edited: October 12th, 2018

18 + only • ♀ seeking ♂ • fishing for a fun time • no limits or boundaries scroll down to place an order
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________



cocktail𝓼.
魔 窟

your very own personal fairytale smut shop
____________________________________________________________

X X X X X

____________________________________________________________
moshimoshi.
モ ヒ モ シ
🎀
274.927.6224
hi, welcome to cocktail𝓼!
your very own, personal fairytale smut shop. our goal is to make your dreams,
no matter how nasty & disturbing & even vanilla -- come true!
you must be 18 years or older to go any further. please read the following
rules before viewing the menu. when you have made your decision place an
order by clicking on the provided number. put your order in the subject
line followed by your username. in the subject tell me something about
yourself & what your desires for placing an order.

1. 18+ only - no exceptions
2. via pms only
3. no fade to black
4. casual - advanced writing
5. real life comes first
6. this is not real life
7. communicate: what are your likes & dislikes
6. know your limits & let me know, too


____________________________________________________________

menu.
渇 望
level of desirability
appetizers.

• a. pairing ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
• b. pairing ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
• c. pairing ★ ★ ☆ ☆
• d. pairing ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
• e. pairing ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
• f. pairing ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
• g. pairing ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
• h. pairing ★ ★ ☆ ☆
• i. pairing ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
• j. pairing ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
• k. pairing ★ ★ ☆ ☆
desserts.


your fetish on demand.

_______________________________________________
sides.

• a. fandom ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
• b. fandom ★ ★ ☆ ☆
• c. fandom ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
• d. fandom ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
• e. fandom ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
• f. fandom ★ ★ ☆ ☆
• g. fandom ★ ★ ☆ ☆





entrees.

• a. plot ★ ★ ☆ ☆
• b. plot ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
• c. plot ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
• d. plot ★ ★ ★ ☆
• e. plot ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
custom orders are welcome.




_______________________________________________________________


❤︎
____________________________________________________________

please do not post in this thread.
your business is greatly appreciated.
thank you.
🍭 🐇 🍬
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neverland.
悲 劇 的 な 王 国


“ the rich exist for the sake of the poor. the poor exist for the salvation of the rich. ”

— Saint John Chrysostom
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∃ɴᴛᴇr.


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the garden of eden.
キャタピラの木


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Noah's Ark || November 27th, 2018




koinonia.
こ ど も の 日


“ the friendship which can cease has never been real. ”

— Saint Jerome
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Winner of RPGC #20: Gratis || Last Edited: November 14th, 2018




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Hazy History || Last Edited: November 27th, 2018


the dream.
勘 定


.


we closed our eyes
&
held our breaths
for the last night on earth.

.

.

.


'twas the longest night in the midst of the warmest winter's rest,
had sand wisps & desert flowers - burning bright like solomon's prayers
that kept our halos alive w/leaflets & ringlets - a blooming fertile crest,
w/camels sewing our footsteps - we traveled upwards wearily in pairs.

until, we lost ourselves & forgot what to wear,
covering our hearts - our naked breasts,
we went blind, w/only our torments to bare.
we scattered in the winds & lost sight of our blests.

dismantling our mares for snares & chests,
stolen by a lie - saddled in the arms of his chair
crowned & cradled w/thrones of arrest,
prisoners of his eternal nightmare.

but wherefore is the key of seams w/out tears,
for thieves chained to disillusions & garments unblest?
we cry for our sleeping eyes to awaken our cares,
trapped & tormented by our own trespasts.

the dressmaker’s son is hemming our best,
now, look dear - a blink of bridal dreams so fair,
shall he wash us clean w/nothing to detest?
yes, he shall - from the brink of despair,
the timeless story of a soothsayer’s tale:

the cross shone like a fire / blazing brighter than the golden virgin,
no temple dare to disrupt the flame / but nothing wast to the shine,
aside distant mirrors of the future / from the heavens, gray breaths of sin.

they were wondrous black clouds / spinning like wool & covering the horizon,
tremendous bouts like smoke & ashen cries / trampling swiftly towards us,
armed as angels of cremations / they were wolves reined by a beautiful demon.

we thought to pray one unceasing hymn / as the tears beading down our cheek,
& humility for the death of our humanity / humming pearls held together as pious,
to slay the dragons from our homes / while keeping still the silent of the meek.

there were clashes of lighting, shattering windows / as gates did lock & hold w/guarded icons,
no more painted sacred places, as false worshipers / turned their claws to smear w/blood as a sign,
across the land like thunder, shouting for war / burying death & graven, all the traces of our sons.

we graced our mouths held quiet for her awakened folly / birthed to the deepest sorrows of a loving creator,
but masked by lashes of abuse & curtains no longer fair / tricked to the core w/a glutton for child,
a shadow so wealthy, we could not find our fear / between the wrinkles of timeless words from the dearest Father:

“cry my child, cry. Sleep, my child, sleep / the confessed has heard your dear hearts,
& forever shall they carry the burden of your songs / as pillars of heroes built on the mercy of the dined,
architects of our memories & records of stories / sewn together by the bells of love shall you never again depart.”

thus we cried w/heads hanging - ornaments from the trees/ swaying back-&-forth, we became forbidden to speak,
of tears we confessed ourselves w/names twisted / a flood did pour forth, & our promise was religious,
w/nails holding our deeds to the barest of trunks / to which they came to crown us to never again have to seek.
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The Tower of Babel || Last Edited: December 10th, 2018




the beginning.
終 了


“ in the beginning there was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God... ”

— Saint John the Theologian
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Political Alarmism || Last Edited: March 5th, 2019




the downward spiral.
円相



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- || Last Edited: March 5th, 2019




the hand that feeds.
飲み込む



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