Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by TrapsCanRP
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TrapsCanRP

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Republic Personnel - Long Version


Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by TrapsCanRP
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TrapsCanRP

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Used the smuggler character template as I wasn't sure how to properly format for this character, please tell me if something needs to be changed.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ellri
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Ellri Lord of Eat / Relic

Member Seen 10 mos ago

the initial impression of this character is that he doesn't feel like a trandoshan. He feels like he is written as if he is a human. We recommend reading a bit on trandoshans and working to incorporate a few elements more typical to them into his personality and mannerisms.

Think about how a reptile would behave differently from humans. Build on that.

How did he come to be on that planet he was trained on? were there others of his kind around? if not, why not?
If there were others of his kind there, what did they teach him?
It is also a pretty decent classic to build upon the hatred trandoshans have for wookiees.

You haven't really delved much into his actual skills in comparison to those of others. Writing a bit more there will help others relate to Snow.

You've specified that he is short for a trandoshan, yet more muscular, yet he doesn't have all that much mass for his height.

There is one thing that would help people even more with interacting with him. What sort of work does he do? What does he avoid? Are there any people he has worked for before? Any groups he refuses to work for? What does he think about the Republic and the Empire? about the wielders of the Force?

We spotted a few minor grammar errors but your meaning got across, so we won't pick at that. Contents are considerably more important than the flawlessness of the grammatical structure. While we have the points above that we think you should work on, we still think you've got a pretty good start on this sheet, @TrapsCanRP
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by TrapsCanRP
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TrapsCanRP

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Something I wanted to do with my character, a character quirk I was playing with, was having the Trandoshan be raised by a human colony. As such I wrote them to be very human dispite their racial differences. I have a much more detailed prewriten backstory I can send you as I couldn't find a good way to incorporate it in this format. I wrote it that way becasue I thought it would open up a lot of funny rp, like a huge intimiating figure that ultimately is very soft Underneath. I can change race if it's truely a big deal. The other stuff I will definatly change and work on as I wrote this up at like 2:30 am. @Ellri
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ellri
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Ellri Lord of Eat / Relic

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the templates are somewhat guidelines. if there are sections you feel are "missing" then you can add those.@TrapsCanRP
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ellri
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Ellri Lord of Eat / Relic

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How's the sheet coming along, @TrapsCanRP?

Do you need any help? Have you got any questions?
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