Hidden 13 days ago 12 days ago Post by Aqutanama
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I may make a future isekai character if possible. Someone who is in quantum stuff. same looks and name because I'm lazy. Listed in character below.



I would like to point out that he has a Max weight and height listed for when he grows up. Assuming he doesn't die.
Hidden 13 days ago Post by KillamriX88
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@Aqutanama
OK, what I'm seeing here is largely the same character as before in many ways, except you retooled his powers to be... like... holy crap.

He has time and space and gravity and (the world's hottest) fire. And mental fortress. And power duplication, which means on top of his already insane arsenal, he could hypothetically have any other power too. Normal power stealers/copiers are at least somewhat limited by having a weaker baseline. This guy is a turbo genius who's been gravity training since almost birth and who can basically cast amaterasu.

Again, I'm not the GM, but I would never personally accept a character THAT egregiously overloaded and incongruent with itself. There is a hint of a theme for his powers, but it's being stretched to the max to make him uncomfortably strong.

To put it a bit more simply, you basically packed an ENTIRE power set into just his core, and then added a further three rather strong abilities on top of that. Sheesh.
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Hidden 13 days ago 12 days ago Post by Lewascan2
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I may make a future isekai character if possible. Someone who is in quantum stuff. same looks and name because I'm lazy. Listed in character below.


I would like to point out that he has a Max weight and height listed for when he grows up. Assuming he doesn't die.


Okay, uh... Wow, so... this character is a thing that exists.
Somehow, the blacksmith build from before looks way more reasonable now.

Right out the gate then, the Singularity Transcendence power is broken as shit and just ggez claps pretty much everything in the setting. Like, that power "slot" (for an apparent definition of the word with this... being) alone contains everything that a single character could possibly need. If you took that and spread it out into a couple sub-powers, then we might be cooking with gas here. Stronk as fukk, but not "God on Earth" broken... maybe. It doesn't seem to have a whole lot of limits (which you better believe would be required as well).

Which, of course, is ignoring that fact that your reasoning for having it doesn't really work with the RP setting at all, since it's completely separate from the "Gift" system. And on that note, humans may be "built different", but they don't manifest supernatural abilities under basically any circumstance outside a "Gift/Blessing" scenario. So, this guy will not, in fact, suddenly spontaneously gain powers from that whole black hole thing. He's only going to get powers from Gods. Also, humans in this setting can't really go full "Dragon Ball" in terms of training. As in, if he's going to be training from birth, he better be real dang careful not to murderize himself through overtraining at too young an age. Further, it's been said by Rofls that his "muscle gains" max out with his age. So, he can be a peak physical strength 13 year old, but he'll lose to a well-trained 16 year old in turn. And he's not going to be able to actually train to superhuman levels. Without a Gift that specifically removes such limiters, he's hard-capped at normal human capabilities.

Vortex: "..."
So, basically Uno Reverse Card: The Power. Never mind that he needs "permission" from the other players to actually copy powers after negating them, the fact that this can just eat and no-sell anything that comes his way is uh... something. Oh, and then it also lets him regenerate as an extra screw everything. I'll just put it out there that power copiers have been... problems in this RP series, so there's some general bias against having another around, especially one that can farm permanent powers with seemingly no downsides that actually matter.

Black Hole Space:
Obito Uchiha's Kamui on steroids but minus the teleportation... maybe. Narrows eyes. Free get out of jail card any time anywhere and also instant nigh-inescapable perma-prison for anyone he doesn't like. This is just getting noped by the GMs for sure. It's literally an insta-win against anyone that can't perform outright dimensional travel to escape (which consists of, I think, literally just Chinami presently... and maybe Andras if her power rolls decide to be lucky).

Core of the First Spark:
At this point, it's both unnecessary and not even thematic to the rest of the powerset, despite the apparent attempts to reach for the literal stars. And honestly, it's easy to overlook after getting slapped in the face with everything before it, but yeah, that "hottest flame in existence" thing... Holy shit, that alone is just... there are no words for how much bullshit that could cause. As written, that's just not going to fly... you know, unless you mean he only controls actual fire that can feasibly exist. But I doubt that's what you mean.

AND THEN, of course, let us not forget that this guy is born into a wealthy family and is supposedly a hyper genius when it comes to technology, which effectively gives him another power slot outside the power system. He has a lot of freaking assets just being born. He hardly needs any more in the form of actual powers, because honestly, someone could literally just run a character like this as a no-powers normie that is basically just Iron Man and relies entirely on their own smarts and "Humanity Fuck Yeah" to win the day against all the chaos.

So, as Killa essentially said, literally just scrap everything except the Core power and then split up several of the core power's abilities into being his sub-powers. It's pretty clear now that you don't understand the power scaling level of this RP. So, to clarify:

Think of any anime tournament arc. Then discard basically all the Dragon Ball examples. Think more like Naruto Chunin exams, Hunter x Hunter. The works. We aren't making outright gods on earth here. These are mostly a bunch of teenagers going to super school (while having spicy adventures on the side, as they slowly root out the sus things happening in the setting's plot).

And by the way, since Erisse is the only CS I'm fairly certain you've read, you should realize that she qualifies as a High Tier by this RP's standards. Combat-wise, she may lag behind, so she's easy to underestimate. But her support power long term is relatively unrivaled in potential and flexibility. So, when you make a character that isn't just stronger than her, but so much stronger than her in every conceivable manner that it's egregious, I think you might be able to see why it would get shot down.

Honestly, as a thought exercise, you should probably ask yourself, "How can my character be defeated?" If you can't answer the question easily or definitively, then he's too strong. A badass "protagonist-kun" or whatever is fine, but he's not going to be one of those "world's strongest" korean manga types. Have some limits; include a relatively accessible "kyptonite" and/or workaround to his abilities. Also, maybe read the powersets of the other characters for a better idea of power scaling. You'll likely quickly see that while there are a few that are somewhat "cheaters", they are by no means invincible and tend to have a counter or three amongst the rest of the cast... and they also all pretty much pale in comparison to this guy as things are.

Oh, and again, you need to rework the source of his powers.
They should come from Gods or something local and god-derived. Not a black hole.
Hidden 13 days ago 12 days ago Post by Spin The Wheel
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This might be a bad time, but just wanted to slip this in while I remember the idea. Feel free to look it over whenever. Kind of planning to use this guy for the next arc, whatever it ends up being.

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Hidden 12 days ago 12 days ago Post by Aqutanama
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I did look at all the current character's abilities. Most have multiple functions from what I could see. So, I'm unsure what I can and cannot do.

Edit done.
Hidden 12 days ago 12 days ago Post by Lewascan2
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I did look at all the current character's abilities. Most have multiple functions from what I could see. So, I'm unsure what I can and cannot do.

Edit done.


Okay, so, how best to put this...? I guess the problem we're running into is expectations of scale? You're doing two things wrong either individually or together.
A: You either make the powers they do have absurdly broad in capability and sheer power, or...
B: You try to spread out his specializations to much. You try to grab too many powers and refuse to commit to a theme.

For example:

"Because of his training his body transcends the normal limitations of his species. A few things he can do due to this is flight, jumping really far quickly, running really fast, and taking hits from things that would kill someone."

This bullshit right here is one of the biggest annoyances. You can't slide extra powers in solely through the background. You need to have them actually take up a power slot. If it allows them to perform superhuman feats, then it's a power and needs to count towards your total, regardless of anything else. You can't just slap it in the background as an offhand mention and pretend like that works. And another thing, I'd mentioned it before, but without a specific Gift/Power for it, Dragon Ball training doesn't work in this setting. He can only get regular human child abilities out of that sort of gravity training, not Dragon Ball power. Humans in this setting only get power from either Gods or magic, and the capacity for magic doesn't provide that sort of passive "anime training" enhancement to humans. Bottom line, humans are stuck with IRL Earth Human limits on their physical abilities without a specific power for it.

So if you want "Dragon Ball Training: the power", literally make it full power. That's the only way this gets allowed. Oh, and it should be noted, but in the past version of this RP, "super-genius" also counted as a power against the total.

That said, this time, I hesitate to say it, but you actually overcompensated in the opposite direction this time with the main powers. When I referred to "flaws" for his powers, I meant actual flaws for the powers themselves, not crippling the character mentally as some sort of "compensation". Honestly, unless you really like the idea, you can just scrap the mental afflictions. So, let's go through what we have left.

Let me try and give you a hand here. So, I'll strip everything down to what you want and show some options, even do a bit of helpful rewording here and there.

Firstly, removed the totally pointless flaws for now, so...:

Big Family:
His family is wealthy. Thus, he has no concerns over needing money. "I'm rich." would be an understatement.


This really isn't a power, just a passive. You should have left this in his background and put the feckin' Dragon Ball training bullshit in his power section.

Core Ability:
Singularity Transcendence, the Divine Entertainment
Val survived within a black hole for thousands if not tens of thousands of years. Due to this The Goddess of Chaos took pity on him and bestowed a blessing and curse upon him. Singularity Transcendence has forked abilities based on the Black Hole and quantum. Manipulation of gravity, portals, time, and space. Telekinesis due to the manipulation of gravity fields. Black hole space is a special space that only he has access to. However, he has yet to unlock most of these abilities. This is probably due to the Goddess of Chaos wanting to see what he can do with one of the abilities. Furthermore, these abilities seem to have several levels. The Deities can “tune in” and watch him every now and again. The Goddess of Chaos set up a voting system in order for him to unlock his abilities. However, there is also a down vote system. This causes the Goddess to send “bad things” his way. Some of the bad things are nightmares of his previous life, chaos creatures that hunt him and don’t let him sleep. Even if he slept he would have nightmares.


There was no real need for the "divine watchers" aspect to be kept separate from this ability, so I combined them. Far less confusion. They're literally directly connected, so I dunno why it wasn't this way before.

Sub-Power 1 - Gravity Control:
Basic (Growth)
He can manipulate gravity within 2 meters of himself. The force that can be applied can go up to 5 times the planet's normal gravity. Alternatively, he can do the reverse and lower gravity in the area around him, inducing a moon-walk zone of effect. This power can be utilized long term as a makeshift training tool, and over time, it is expected that it may grow stronger after sufficiently entertaining the gods.
This ability was unlocked or allowed by the Goddess of Chaos


Okay, this looks okay overall. Just added a little tweak that I think would make this more viable and encourage creative use. After trimming the fat, it's been broadly summarized down to a single actual Core ability and one Sub power. Time to fill up those empty slots.

Sub-Power 2 - Artificer of the Stars:
Raised in his past life by a family known to be foremost in the arts of quantum computing, engineering, physics, mechanics and theory, Val is (at least in this area of study) what can only be described as a super-genius and technological savant. To compare his potential to the likes of Tony Stark might not be far off. However, there's just a couple small issues. Firstly, this new world simply lacks the bleeding-edge high-tech industry to access the advancements rolling through his mind. He'll need to build the tools to make the tools first, but once that's done? Well, the world is his oyster. A second notable caveat is that this knowledge is purely science-based. His world had no magic. As such, he is a rank amateur in the mystic side of tech, and magitech is completely outside his area of expertise or proper comprehension at this time, especially given that he can't even cast magic.


With this, you now have an actual verbalization of his technological marvel creation capacity. The reason this "power" works, despite clashing with his "theme" is that it's based entirely on High-Mundane capabilities, something that anyone could learn in theory. I could go on, but suffice it to say: "It just works." And, with this version keeping magitech shut out of Val's grasp (for now), he won't innately infringe on the domains of all the other crafters that do use magic in turn.

Sub-Power 3 - Apex Humanity:
One of the first powers granted to him by the Goddess of Chaos to keep his reckless ass from accidentally murdering himself as a child through ignorance and excessive gravity power usage on an undeveloped, infant body. Anything a regular human can do, he can do better, assuming he's put in the same amount of effort. His constitution is highly robust, making illnesses and some poisons less effective on him and letting him endure harm and keep fighting with the kind of grit an anime protagonist would only thumbs-up at. He can run as fast as a peak human, despite being merely a child. His strength carries the weight of a trained martial artist behind it, despite receiving no formal training. His agility and hand-eye coordination make him a master of parkour and deflecting or using thrown projectiles. His 5 senses are practically bestial in how refined they are. The natural human limiters on his body are released, allowing him to manually utilize 100% percent of his actual strength instead of 60% in an emergency... at the cost of inflicting self-damage on his muscules from the strain. That aside, a further effect of these broken limiters is that he is no longer constrained by the normal human maximum in terms of physical refinement. While his feats aren't quite outright superhuman compared to a peak human yet, given his young age, as he grows and continues to train, he will rapidly come to surpass the best of humanity's natural stock, solidly stepping into a realm only other Gifts can challenge... But such things are for the future...


Just saying this now, but he's not reasonably getting flight out of this last power. He'll need to earn the ability to do that with his gravity powers. And besides, given his weight manipulation, he should be able to just make himself lighter instead of heavier and do super-leaps right out the gate. It's not flight, but it's still pretty good and provides a shitton of mobility till he can actually fly. Also, I've now provided reasonable context behind why the Goddess would actually give him this last power. Quite simply, he was being a dumbass and assuming his new world worked on anime logic... when it didn't. So, she saved his life before he could become a complete waste of her time and attention.

So, yeah, that about covers the major alterations I see that could be implemented. Hope this helps.
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Hidden 12 days ago Post by Spin The Wheel
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@Aqutanama sorry to ask this but can you wait for me a bit before editing your sheet further? I have some things to say about it that might help you out, player to player, but i don't have time to type it up right now.
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Hidden 12 days ago Post by Spin The Wheel
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Ugh, nevermind, sorry. Too tired. Just keep doing what you're doing I guess. I hope you take some time to flesh out your character because I do like the idea at least.
Hidden 12 days ago 11 days ago Post by Aqutanama
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Ugh, nevermind, sorry. Too tired. Just keep doing what you're doing I guess. I hope you take some time to flesh out your character because I do like the idea at least.


lol. I think I will go with what was recommended.


@Lewascan2 Thank you for the suggestions and assistance on this. Is the above what you were thinking? I mean copy paste but still.
Hidden 12 days ago 12 days ago Post by Spin The Wheel
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Oh, wait a sec

@Aqutanama, is your chara part of one of the 4 schools/vigilantes? Doesn't really say on your sheet

Not that you need to be a part of them or anything, would just make it somewhat awkward to join in I think
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Hidden 11 days ago Post by Lewascan2
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<Snipped quote by Spin The Wheel>

lol. I think I will go with what was recommended.


@Lewascan2 Thank you for the suggestions and assistance on this. Is the above what you were thinking? I mean copy paste but still.


Yeah, copy/paste was the intention. And you're welcome. It was clear that things weren't going anywhere fast or good. from player to player, I want you to be able to actually play something you like without have your entire concept nerfed into the ground and ripped to shreds, but it's clear that either we weren't conveying the power-scale well enough or that you just weren't able to grasp it. So, a direct intervention was needed. I would have included a second gravity power in the mix, but you seem to want that "Apex Humanity"-type power extremely badly (given your absolute refusal to eject it from his backstory), so that ended up taking the third slot.

Other than that copy/paste, you still need to add what school he's going to in his basic information.

Also, since he's no longer inflicted with those brutal mental flaws, his backstory now needs some edits to at least the last two paragraphs, particularly the second to last paragraph. The final paragraph of the backstory just needs to be deleted outright. There's probably a couple more spots that might provoke edits too, but I'll leave it up to you how much you want to do on that end.

Also, honestly, I have to ask, because I'm getting a bit curious. But why is his nickname "Greed"? I realize there's no personality section for this RP's CSs, but nothing in his backstory really hints that he's the sort to seek and hoard wealth and such for the sake of it. I mean, he's rich, but that doesn't inherently mean anything when it comes down to it.
Hidden 11 days ago 11 days ago Post by Aqutanama
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I am currently fixing up the character. Going to change the name as well. I don't know if it fits well. My new name may not either. Just felt like not using an OC name. As far as Greed it is in reference to his thirst for knowledge and creation. It is something that was probably given to him by someone else and others started calling him it because of that. Rumors and such as a rich child. Like how his diet is specific. He spends his family's money to get what he needs in order to stay healthy and balanced. That and spends money to research just about everything he can in this world. I'm not sure if they have some kind of MagiTech computer or phones or whatever. But if they do, he probably collected a few of those to fuel his research. Greed, Gluttony, and Pride. These are all nicknames he could have. He is always eating. I mean just about always. He snacks. Has a crazy amount of pride due to his past life and yeah. Just a sinful one.

Oh, wait a sec

@Aqutanama, is your chara part of one of the 4 schools/vigilantes? Doesn't really say on your sheet

Not that you need to be a part of them or anything, would just make it somewhat awkward to join in I think


Could he not be that rich kid that got in because of his family's influence? I'm sure that would piss so many people in the school off. Not the players but the characters.


Hidden 11 days ago Post by KillamriX88
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Could he not be that rich kid that got in because of his family's influence? I'm sure that would piss so many people in the school off. Not the players but the characters.


That's fine, but what they were saying is that on your sheet you have not designated what faction/school if any he belongs to. It doesn't matter which one he's in or how, just that you pick one or explain why he isn't part of one.

The first OOC post lists all the major schools that the RP is based around.
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Hidden 10 days ago Post by Aqutanama
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Am I missing anything else? Honestly asking. I just added the first day into the BIO. I can take it out if it doesn't match up or what not. I was going to add that the language spoken has a touch of the magic language within it. Annunciation is usually key to spellcasting depending on the world. But I didn't because that would be worldbuilding. I mean I did add arcana symbols to math because that makes sense to me if all tech has magic in it. It would probably be the higher types of math though. I don't know if this isn't okay then I can change it.


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Hidden 7 days ago 7 days ago Post by RoflsMazoy
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[@Aquatanama] Woo yeah, sorry for taking so long to respond but you're good to go by my standards. I'm not technically the full GM, (bah, kind of only half a Co-GM at this point) but the lads do trust my judgement usually. If there's no vetoes, then by tomorrow I think you can go ahead and put him in the characters tab.
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Hidden 7 days ago Post by RoflsMazoy
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@Aqutanama Oop I messed up the tag I think.
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Hidden 6 days ago Post by Aqutanama
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@Aqutanama Oop I messed up the tag I think.


I see you tried to spell my name. Aqua tanama = Aqu tanama. It is strange that when reading it people add the extra A there. Funny enough people would call me Aquaman on Xbox or try to say it. When they did that, they would add the extra a. Aqua-tanama. Some seemed like they tried while others were on the other end. I think someone called me Aquafina or something. At the time I was like is this an Aquaman water commercial or something? I mean I have the hair.

Of course, I don't have the hair anymore. Too many negatives. Anyways, thank you for looking into this for me.
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Hidden 5 days ago Post by Lewascan2
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@Aqutanama
Yo! With Rofls having dropped the go-ahead, you should be good to move that CS of yours over to the CS tab!
I'll be shooting you a discord invite to the server. If anything more may or may not need to be done with the character, it'll be easier to discuss it there anyway.
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