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Recent Statuses

6 yrs ago
Current Off Hiatus?
7 yrs ago
On Hiatus
7 yrs ago
"Mecha Cowboys" has less than a thousand hits on Google. I've never been more upset.
7 yrs ago
RP Concept: "Screw just the plans, we're stealing the Death Star and taking that baby for a joyride!"
5 likes
8 yrs ago
The VeggieTales theme song has been stuck in my head for at least three days now. Can't decide if it a good or bad thing yet.
6 likes

Bio

Writer of schlock dressed up in some decent clothes.

Most Recent Posts

tfw some weird-boy keeps saying they're telling the truth but disappear before the human lie detector can hit 'em with the goods (only to find out it don't work that way)

Should get a post up by...Sunday? Also, gonna be out of town from the 3rd to the 13th because I'm, oddly enough, going to Montana. I'll let you know if any world-ending multi-dimensional monster is there.
Been away from my computer, will edit my C.S accordingly and get working on a follow up tonight


I love that a dude nicknamed Lucky has a Luck of 1.
<Snipped quote by Atrophy>
It would be symbolic for this RP to end where it began.


With everybody getting lit? Hell yeah!

I'mma let the Speaker reply to Rien before I put anything up for Rita.



@Ruler Inc
Town Hall



They were starting to bicker again. Billy ignored Penny and Britney as they went about their little power struggle. Instead, he found himself staring into the mass grave. Farmer Hill was a small town, and he had met a number of the people working the desk at his father’s shop. Familiar faces now twisted in pain stared back at him. It was horrific. He always thought a world ending event like a zombie apocalypse would be fun. He even had a plan for such an event. But this was different. A dark storm was starting to form in his mind when he just barely caught the group going down the stairs out of the corner of his eye. Billy followed after them. He wasn’t gonna be the idiot caught alone by some psycho.

Billy groaned as the group entered the archives. This was going to take forever, and even if they got what they wanted it would only spell more trouble for them. Why couldn’t they just raid the liquor store and hit up the electronics shop on the way back to the dorms? Get smashed and play games until somebody else took care of this whole thing. He went to the farside of the archives and started thumbing through boxes, going through the motions of searching for a map while not really looking at all before dumping the contents on the floor. He had dumped out a few boxes and began making his way to another row when the hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

"Don't fuckin' move," Billy heard a husky voice say to him. "I don't know if you're one of those maniacs possessed by that thing or what. Don't move."

Billy felt something cold and metal press against the base of his skull. Was it a gun? He froze in place, looking wildly at the others for help.

Penny felt her stomach flip as she turned and saw that the fucking Mayor had taken her brother hostage. There were plenty of times in her life when she had wished that Billy was dead, mostly over something he said or him hogging the TV, but the sight of seeing a gun drawn on her brother filled her with fear. The only saving grace of the situation was that the Mayor didn’t seem to be one of those Redemption freaks. Maybe there was still reasoning with him.

“We’re not like those maniacs, believe us, we’ve been attacked by them too,” said Caelea. “We don’t want to fight you.”

“Listen to her,” said Penny, trying to sound calmer than she was. “If we were one of those things, this conversation wouldn’t even be happening. We’re trying to stop whatever is going on, Mr. Mayor.”

“The Mayor?” said Billy, the only one who hadn’t gotten a look at the guy holding him hostage. “C’mon, man, our dad campaigned for you. Lemme go.”

“Billy, our dad tried to run again—” Penny shook her head and turned her attention back to the Mayor. “Look, doesn’t that prove that this idiot can’t be one of those things? Please, put down the gun and we can explain why we’re here. Maybe you could help us.”

She took one step forward.
Is there something like an annual fair where people would pay a slice or so for having them tossed as far as possible back into the crowd or into a pond of water? Just in case Vodilic needs to pick up a second job ;-)


Oh man there is if we say there is. I just want the fair to literally be about tossing someone into water. Like it had some important religious meaning decades ago but that's all long forgotten and it's just a way to see someone fancy get thrown into a bay full of fish guts.

Love the posts, folks. Keep it up!
@Fetzen
Prudence Stolz

The Slums — Night


It was still dark. Prudence stirred and coughed. Her head pounded. Her ears rang. The blood on her face was thick. Most of it wasn’t hers. There was something below her. She remembered the attack in flashes. She grumbled. It was what remained of the boy. She rolled off of him and landed on the wet cobblestone. She stopped rolling, but the world kept twirling. She held her breath. Waited. Waited. The world leveled out. She tried to sit up. She was too quick about it the first time and the spinning started again. The second time she was slower. It worked. Through her double vision she could see the burned down house in front of her. The still-standing door frame look like a mouth. With her swimming head it looked like it was laughing at her. Asshole door.

She took a moment.

And then another.

Okay.

Prudence had woken up next to boys plenty of times before and regretted it, but never quite like this. She looked over his body. Even in the dark she could see what remained of his skull. She had done that? Prudence let out a ragged breath. She wasn’t a stranger to violence, maybe even revelled in it, but even that made her look away. Another memory of unbridled rage to shove deep, deep down until it was forgotten except in the occasional nightmares. Prudence put her head in her hand and massaged her temples. She couldn’t stay here. Constables didn’t really come out this deep in the slums but she couldn’t stay here.

She tried standing up and found that she could still do it. Prudence reached down to check her scarf, paused, took off a stained glove, and then checked it. It was still there, but she doubted the moisture was just water. She frowned and then felt for her coin purse. It was gone. Shit. She patted her dagger. Just the sheath. Double shit. Her eyes moved in a rapid panic and she spotted it a few feet away from her defunct bunkmate. Small miracles. She replaced her glove and grabbed her knife. It was frustrating to lose a handful of bits, but she could easily get them back with that knife alone. Now being unarmed? She wouldn’t live long enough to worry about money problems.

It was time to get the hell out of the slums. The task was easier said than done. She could hardly find her way through it when she was fully coherent, and now she could hardly see straight. However, walking wasn’t so bad. She tried to ignore the pain as her heavy footsteps echoed throughout the slums. Nobody was out now. It must’ve been real late. She kept pushing onward, the creeping feeling that she’d turn a corner at any moment and be met with a brutalized corpse and a charred house weighing on her heavily. Yet then through the ringing in her ear she could hear the sound of waves smacking against the seawall. If she just kept the sea on her right she’d make it home. Now if only that pesky blackness would stop coming...in...and…it was chased away by a red light.

Wait, where was she? Prudence whipped her head back and forth and triggered a shot of pain—stupid. She was outside of the Red Sail, the red lights burning away in there oil lamps to turn away the night and signal in lonely souls. Fontaine had explained to her how the flame burned so red once, but Prudence never understood any of that alchemy mumbo jumbo. It just meant she was home. Which was strange, because she didn’t feel like she had been walking for that long. She looked up at the purple sky and saw that the moon was barely above the neighboring buildings. She was missing time. How good had that old man beaned her? She was still alive, so she supposed the answer was “not good enough.”

Prudence stumbled against the door and propped herself up against it. At this time of night the Red Sail would be locked tight and the girls would be given some time for their all very important beauty sleep and a bit of self-reflection. She fished for the key on her belt and was relieved to find that it had not been stolen. After a bit of work she was able to find the hole, a phrase regularly uttered around the Red Sail but generally in a different context, and let herself in. Only the glow of the red lights lining the windows lit the room, casting eerie shadows across worn couches and chaise lounges. Prudence made her way to one of the couches and sat down. She just needed to give herself a second to let her head stop spinning.

The Red Sail — Dawn


When Selena woke her it was morning. The red lights were all extinguished and sunbeams poured in through the windows. The gentle rumble of dock workers and food peddlers outside mixed with the quiet gossip of the upstairs girls who weren’t sleeping off their hangovers. While getting poked with the handle of a broom wasn’t the most pleasant way to being woken up, it was the smartest thing for Selena to do—Prudence occasionally awoke swinging. Prudence rolled over and sat up; Selena took a step back as Prudence’s hood fell to reveal her face. Beneath the matting of deep red was a rainbow of purple, black, and yellow surrounding the cut around her temple from where the lantern had hit her. Selena’s initial shock wore away. It wasn’t the first time she had seen Prudence return looking like this, and if Prudence kept her luck then it wouldn’t be the last time.

“Let’s clean you up, love.”

There was no protest from Prudence as Selena set to work. Again, not the first time. Selena guided her to the bath, helped her undress, and gently cleaned the grim as Prudence prayed that the water had been changed from the night before. Even still, she doubted that all of the scented soap and hot water in the world would be enough to clean the leftover residue from whatever three gold coins and an hour of privacy bought. Once Selena had time to wash her clothes and Prudence had forgotten her thoughts and just enjoyed the relaxing water the barmaid set about to dressing the enforcer’s wound after she dried. Prudence stared into the mirror as Selena finished wrapping the wound. Even with Selena’s care and the much needed bath she still looked like absolute shit. She sighed as she followed after her friend and took a seat at the bar.

“So you going to tell me what happened or sit there being glum all day?” asked Selena as she set down a morning meal of hard bread, spiced meat, soft cheese, and a bitter tea in front of Prudence.

“I ain’t being glum,” said Prudence between ravenously shoveling food into her mouth. It was simple but good, although every chew sent a sharp spike through her head. “I’m thinking.”

“Haven’t you hurt yourself enough today?” said Selena. She leaned forward, snagging a bit of cheese off of Prudence’s plate. “C’mon, you know how the other girls love to spread rumors. Let me set the story straight.”

“Uh,” Prudence squinted as she tried to come up with a lie. She was rubbish at lying; they almost always came out as questions like she was unable to bring herself to believing in them. “I took out a couple of Black Hands?”

“You said that fisherman and three of his buddies you kicked out last week tried to jump you and that they look tenfold as shit as you do?” clarified Selena. Prudence nodded dumbly. Selena leaned in closer so that no eavesdroppers could hear them. “So what really happened?”

“I..." Prudence sighed. "I got mugged by an old man and—.”

“An old man? You? Mugged by an old man?” Selena threw her head back and barked with laughter. Certainly the girls upstairs had heard her outburst. So much for stopping rumors. Prudence’s nails dug into the countertop as her friend waved her hand in front of her as an apology as she tried to stifle her continuing laughter. Prudence’s lips grew thin. "What he bore you with stories of the back-in-my-days til you passed out and brained yourself on the street? Accidentally hit you with a hard candy? An old man! Hah!"

“With two lads! I killed one of them,” growled Prudence. Selena stopped laughing. “Fontaine’s gonna be furious. Couldn’t have been any older than Priscilla.” Prudence stared at the countertop. “Just some stupid kid following someone else’s orders.” The wood on the countertop was beginning to warp; it was now the hull of a ship. She could smell the seawater. “Just some stupid kid.” Don't be so soft, stupid girl, pirates are pirates. That voice again. She shuddered. A glass clinked down in front of her. Prudence blinked her eyes rapidly at the whisky as she was drawn back into the Red Sail Brothel.

"Grandpa's medicine," said Selena, smirking.

“Fontaine don’t like it when you give away booze,” said Prudence matter-of-factually as she slid the glass away. Besides, it was too early to imbibe and her head was already foggy enough.

“Then don’t tell her,” said Selena.

“She’s gonna know.”

“It was that damn fisherman and his goons.”

“What do fishermen have to do with drinking from the supply?” asked Prudence.

“Oh, c'mon Prue. You don’t remember because they hit your head. But I saw it through the window. Helped drag you in here after you chased them off,” Selena said with a wink. “It. Was. The. Fisherman.”

“The fisherman?” Prudence repeated. Her eyes widened with understanding. Fontaine didn’t like bodies, or at least she didn’t like bodies left out in the open where they could draw prying eyes. With Selena’s story there wasn’t a body. She smiled. “Yeah, the fisherman.”

Selena smiled back, and then in a flash snagged another piece of cheese from Prudence’s plate and popped it into her mouth before the enforcer could stop her. "Hey!"

"Payment for my services," said Selena as she poured herself a glass of whisky and pushed Prudence's back towards her. "Now it can't go back in the bottle, so drink up and let me tell you about my night. You weren't the only one hit on by an old man..."
Should be posting in the next couple of days and is the foreshadowing just the song title are we going back to camp and roasting marshmallows!?



@Ruler Inc@Ciaran@Fernstone
Town Hall



“Why does she get to choose where she goes, man?” protested Billy as Caelea put herself up front. He didn’t really want to be in the front—he didn’t want to be here at all—but he was growing sick of Penny calling all of the shots.

“Because she can actually do something,” said Penny, nodding at Caelea. The girl had handled herself just fine in the hospital lobby. It was nice to have her along. She didn’t even bother to spit out her cigarette as she pushed open the doors. If she was gonna walk into a buncha knife-wielding goons pouncing open her to rip open her guts, she was at the very least gonna smoke while they murdered her. That didn’t happen. What did happen was she dropped the cigarette from her mouth as her jaw fell at the sight of the massacre at the staircase.

“Jesus.”

No time to stare. They had a plan to go quick and they had to go to the basement. Just walk by a whole buncha dead guys. Normal day in Farmer Hill. Penny started for the stairs when Britney suggested she stay behind to serve as a lookout. What? No way, Penny thought as she froze. People in their group didn’t do so hot when they were alone. Penny was about to speak up when Paige volunteered to stay with Britney, partially do to her crutch. Shit! There were ways to work around her stair problem—they weren’t elegant, and they might be somewhat embarrassing—but they would work. Plus, the two wouldn’t be able to have that talk if she died, and splitting up was an absolutely great way to die.

“No,” said Penny to Britney, her voice firm and her hands balled. “This isn’t an option. I already told you that we are sticking together. I’m not going to get a fucking map just to come back upstairs and find the two of you dead.” She grimaced. As far as she could tell, two deaths could remove a sizable chunk from the town’s population. How many of her neighrbors were in here? How many had they passed by unnoticed while out in the storm? She wasn’t going to take any chances.

“We either all go together or we all leave,” said Penny, taking one step towards Britney and not breaking her stare. “And I didn’t just walk through a fucking snowstorm just so I can hike back through it empty handed. Seal what doors you can and help Paige downstairs.”

It was a bluff. Penny knew that they needed that map if they were to beat the Glutton. If Britney refused to cooperate she’d just turn around and head down those stairs, but she wasn’t going to be happy about it. Penny had a strong feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. Maybe it was just the dead bodies, but maybe it wasn’t. She betted on the wasn’t.



@Ruler Inc
Library



“Maybe we shouldn’t find out,” said Rita, responding to Jordan’s rhetorical question.

She hadn’t seen what Justin had seen, because when he had stepped through the door her vision had been a mix of sleeves and fingers. Still, it had been enough to make the guy jump back and lose his breakfast. She peered through the entrance, trying to see what it was that Justin had seen. It was just darkness at first, but then a vague outline began to form on the ground. Was that a bone? Rita looked away. Her curiosity, for once, wasn’t piqued.

“S-seriously, we really maybe definitely shouldn’t go in,” said Rita.
Prudence Stolz

The Slums — Night


The slums. If Prudence had grown up in Gullian she would’ve lived in the slums, but she had grown up in Rigomar. The desolate there lived in camps set up around spice plantations. It wasn’t paradise, but the weather was pretty nice outside of monsoon season and a permanent aroma of delicious food seasoned with whatever spices the workers could pinch filled the camp. The slums here had the permanent aroma of the head of a ship after the cook gave the entire crew food poisoning. Even the sea smelled different here. Rotten, almost. Prudence knew for a fact that there were at least two things rotting down there, per Fontaine’s orders. That could never be the case in Rigomar. The water was too clean. Too clear. She missed it sometimes, in a stupid, sentimental sort of way.

However, Gullian had things about it that Rigomar lacked, too. Like opportunity. Being a soldier was perhaps the highest post someone like Prudence could’ve gotten in Rigomar. Assuming she didn’t get gutted by a pirate or tossed overboard in a storm then for all her hard work and dedication she would’ve been given enough pay to afford a tent in a camp next to a spice plantation. All of that just to end up back where she had started was hardly the right motivation. Even with paying Fontaine for her room and board, Prudence was making more than she ever would’ve in the merchant navy. Plus, there was a lot more freedom, significantly more fun company, and a lot less bowing. The only person she dipped her head to these days was Fontaine, and that was purely out of respect for the woman.

In fact, the only damn reason Prudence would willingly trudge through the slums at night was because she respected that woman. She didn’t hate the idea of walking through it in the dark because it was dangerous—she loved that it was dangerous, especially now with her fury still burning behind her eyes. Nothing would make her night more than for a gang of young thugs to try and test their luck against her. In fact, if Prudence didn’t know that it would immediately put her in Fontaine’s bad graces she would’ve turned around, marched into the Faded Lantern, and start a damn turf war right this moment. That was how badly she was itching for a fight. But she didn’t want to anger Fontaine, blissfully unaware of the fact that she was living with that woman’s leash around her neck. Vargas’s boys were off-limits. But a bunch of nobodies just trying to snag enough coin to put bread in their bellies? Well, most people would consider it a courtesy to have their kind removed from the streets.

She stopped in the middle of the uncrowded street, turned her head over her shoulder, and frowned. Hadn’t she already passed that building? She turned on her heels and took a few steps back before she shook her head, spun around, and continued on the way she had originally been going. This was why she hated going into the slums at night. It was hard enough as it was finding her way through the narrow and winding unmarked streets in the daytime, but in the poorly lit night it was nearly impossible. She stopped again. Listened. Prudence should’ve been able to hear the sea, and she most certainly didn't. She sighed, and turned back around. When had she made a wrong turn?

Frustration ate at her as she retraced the path she had already come down, passing by what...may have been the same burnt down building as before? Or was it a new one? She didn’t remember the doorframe still standing, but then again she hadn’t studied it so much on the first pass. She grumbled to herself and kept moving. She turned left, then right, then left, then followed an alley, then took another right, followed by a left, and found herself staring at a burnt down building once again. Prudence didn’t hold back her rage as angry gibberish flooded out of her mouth, her fists raised in fury behind her head as if she was about to smash the cobblestone.

“You lost, lass?” said a kindly older voice from behind her. Prudence snapped around, her scarf fluttering at her waist as her hand brushed against her dagger. An elderly man, bent at the back and with skin like melted leather, lifted a lantern up and smiled a toothless grin at her. Prudence winced at the brightness of the lantern as it shone in her eyes. “You should get a light.”

“My eyes work just fine in the dark! This place is the problem. It makes no sense at all. Just endlessly roads and identical buildings. How can people stand it?” she said, venting to the stranger.

“You get used to it, dear. We’re in Centrage right now. Which borough do you live in?” he asked.

“Which borough do I live in? I don’t live in the slums,” said Prudence, a hint of disgust in her voice. As if it was a superior living situation she added, “I live in a brothel.”

“You’re a whore?” asked the old man.

“Do I look like a whore?” asked Prudence with a growl, her face hardening as she took a step forward.

“I am sorry, miss. My eyes do not work just fine in the dark; hence the light. It’s quite obvious when I see you up close that nobody would ever take you as a whore,” said the old man. He chuckled at his own jab.

“Good to hear,” said Prudence. She didn’t even realize for a second that he might’ve been insulting her. She didn’t have what most people would call an attractive face. Her lips were chapped and chewed, her skin was nearly as dirty as it was tanned, her nose had been broken more times than she could count (which, to be far, wasn’t very high), and her eyes were sunken. She was far from the ugliest woman in the world, but she still wasn’t anywhere close to being pretty. “So you know you’re way around here, old man?”

“Better than some. What are you looking for?”

“I’m looking for a whore.”

“Well, it’s been a spell since I’ve been with one, but I’d wager that your house would be a good place to start,” he said with a wink.

“Not one of those girls,” said Prudence with a groan. The old man seemed so harmless that it was difficult to get upset with him. She might’ve seemed annoyed with him, but that hatred that had been inside of her had cooled down to its usual simmer. She didn’t know what it was, but there was something about old people that she just liked. They were kind of cute, she guessed, in a gross kind of way. Much like a pug. “I’m looking for one in this area. Works kind of close to the docks. Golden hair, dark skin. You know of a girl like that?”

“Oh, maybe,” said the old man. “I’m really more interested in my boys.”

“You know, grandpa, I don’t really care if you enjoy them with an innie or an—”

“No, no, not boys, my boys." He smiled that toothless grin again as he interrupted her. It didn't seem so cute this time. "The ones behind you,” he said as he straightened out his spine and stepped back, killing the lantern. Prudence found herself drowned in black.

"The ones be-what?"

Prudence heard the padding of footsteps running towards her. She was getting exactly what she had wanted, but nowhere near how she thought it would happen. She’d let the fact that she was getting mugged by an old man amaze her later. She dropped into a crouch, tore her dagger out of its sheath, and pivoted around as she sliced into the darkness. However, thanks to the man’s bright lantern her eyes hadn't yet adjusted back to the black of night. Instead of blood splattering to the ground and the cries of a man dying she heard the tearing of cloth and a sharp intake of air as the tip of her knife scraped against his side. Just a shallow cut, and she didn’t have time for another. Her attacker’s elbow smashed into her back and sent her off balance. She stumbled and fell to her knees, but Prudence still had her dagger in hand. She twisted it back with hopes of catching her assailant off guard.

She did just that. The mugger was used to fighting the weaklings who lived in the Slums and gave up after the first hit. He wasn’t ready for a ground assault. Prudence’s dagger drove into the back of his leg, and he screamed as she ripped it up the back of his thigh. Her attacker dropped to the ground and grabbed at his wound as Prudence stood up. Her eyes had readjusted. Her attacker wasn’t quite a man yet, but he was old enough that “boy” would be insulting. Still, he must’ve had the brain of a boy if he thought he could take her on. The idiot didn’t even have a knife, just some kind of stick that could pass as a club. It made that situation all that more ridiculous. Attacked by an old man and his idiot ass boy. She wiped the blood off on her jacket. This how charade made her want to laugh—

”Oof!” A cudgel cracked against her shoulder and almost made her drop her knife. Shit. The old man had said boys, not boy. That bastard wasn’t going to hit her again. As the second of boys went to swing his club Prudence snatched her free hand out to catch it, ripping the club away as she delivered a kick straight up his center. Boy Two crumpled to the ground and Prudence saw red. Doing this was a courtesy after all. She reversed her grip on her dagger and grinned as she readied to teach these nobodies what happened when they messed with a real killer.

Her arm had just barely raised when she heard something singing through the air from behind her. Prudence turned just in time to have the lantern crack her in the face and knock her senseless. Her frame went limp and she crumpled to the ground, her dagger clattering beside her. Her vision swam. There seemed to be an unusual amount of stars in the sky. Then, the shadows of night began to consume her vision again. She could hear words, but could hardly make sense of them. They blended together as they got further and further away. Shadows shuffled around her.

“My leg.” If she just. “Fucking bitch.” Managed to hold. “Get that away.” On a little. “My leg!” Longer. “Don’t kick it, take it.” Then she. “Almost died!” Had a. “Shut up!” Chance. “MY LEG!” To. “Shut up!” Kill. “Hurry, before people come.” These. “Ooo.” Fucking. “Got it.” Bastards. “OOOH!” Bastards. “Help him!” Bastards.

Her eyes snapped open. Her head hurt like she had suffered the world’s worst hangover. There was something warm on her face. Blood? Hers? No, no, no, it better not be. It better not be. A growl began forming in the pit of her stomach. Someone did this. Who, who, who? Three men around her. One old in rags, two young in black. Young One was helping Young Two. Old One had a pouch in his hand. He beckoned the boys with another. The growl was in her throat. Blood was in her eyes. Head hurt. They did this? Didn’t matter. It was their fault now. Hand on cobblestone, hand on cobblestone, knee, knee, up we go. Dizzy. Head hurt. Didn’t matter. This was happening. She lifted her head. The growl escaped her mouth. Feral. Rabid. Inhuman.

Old One noticed her first. Called out to the boys. Young One noticed her second. Dropped Young Two. Dropped her knife with him. He ran. Old One ran. Young Two couldn’t run. Good. She lunged. Her hands wrapped around his leg, fingers going into a hole where there normally wasn’t one. He screamed. Good. He fell down face first. She was on him. Her vision blurred. The fire was there, but the body couldn’t. Didn’t matter. Didn’t need long. She grabbed him by the hair. Cut it short so the enemy can’t grab you. Whose voice was that? Not hers.

Didn’t matter.

She lifted his head. Crunch. Still screaming. Good. She lifted his head. Crunch. She lifted his head. Crunch.

World got darker. Didn’t matter. Still screaming. Good. She lifted his head. Crunch. She lifted his head. Crunch.

No screaming. Good. World got darker, world got darker. Didn’t matter.

She lifted his head and the world got darker and darker and darker and darker and
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