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Recent Statuses

10 mos ago
Current RAIN OF SPIDERS (SPIDERS spiders)
4 likes
2 yrs ago
It seems today, that all you see,
2 yrs ago
Holy Spirit Activate
1 like
2 yrs ago
Remember the indigenous people of the Americas today.
5 likes
3 yrs ago
Critical Role? More like Crunchical Hole, haha. But yes, it's pretty uh... well, the Mercer Effect exists for the same reason people think porn is an accurate depiction of sex.
1 like

Bio

Hello, I am me from the internet. I migrated here from Kongregate's Forum Games Forum, so feel free to look for me there if you wish to follow a career in internet stalking people. (ಠ_ಠ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A link to some of my past characters, which I need because static tabs do not take up internet.

Infamous Quotes From People Who Exist

“I really don’t follow how your faith believes its perfectly acceptable to doom 4,000 years plus of sentient beings, on a pre-set path of no escape from sin, just so their descendants can be offered the ‘chance of salvation’ when the god murders its own son.”
~vikaTae

“Don’t be an ass or a pussy, ’lest you get screwed by life. Being a mouth or a hand is somewhat safer, and an eye socket is pretty much sacred in this regard, so always keep a look out.”
~BCLEGENDS

Most Recent Posts

Dealing with the thugs was, it transpired, a simple enough affair. With a few more strikes, and in a few moments, it was Cobra trying futilely to beat Llexe away from her, whilst many of the remaining fighters circled around Viper, who was clearly on the back foot there. It felt bad to simply gang up on her, but it was clear that a few seconds was all that would be needed to-

Cobra's attacks were suddenly drowned in a cruel growl, and her voice emitted a cry of intense agony. Even as Kiyoshi turned to see the carnage, Llexe was rending the girl's face asunder. And yet, his distraction provided an opening for Viper to dart in and attempt to strike him, itself a crucial distraction that he was forced to deal with, his blade beating her away and backward into Light's range, just as Llexe tore open the other girl's cheeks gruesomely. It occurred to him belatedly that perhaps she was attempting to reach her partner, but that would be a digression from the matter at hand: Kiyoshi's clones spewed out from him again, this time toward Llexe and the fallen gangster, getting in range of her just as the clawed girl smashed her victim's nose in. The only response Kiyoshi could give was to swipe at Llexe with his weapon, bludgeoning- and he hated that word, but it really was bludgeoning her with as much of the heavy wooden sword as possible to force her off of the gangster's form, and promptly yanking Cobra out of reach of the maniac, inspecting her for... oh, those were truly horrific injuries. What a wonderful start to their heroics; nothing wrong with their actions, it was just somebody with their face violently ripped to shreds.

And in his increasing fury, Kiyoshi almost failed to realise how badly injured Light was getting until she tossed Viper to the ground, her body punctured in many places, seeping some shadowy wisps of substance that Kiyoshi could only assume was equivalent to blood. Again, he was forced to take action, sending another wave of clones in the gangster's direction, the last one quickly striking the second leader around the head and shoulders as she tried to get up, finishing the job Light started, though seemingly at the cost of her well-being, if not worse. This time, his real self didn't leave its original position as the generated clones faded away, instead turning toward Llexe with an expression and posture rather unlike his previous calm demeanour.

'What the fff...' Catching himself before he made a discourteous statement, he quickly but angrily rephrased 'What were you thinking, Llexe? In what world did you think this was reasonable?' Even as he gestured to Cobra's unconscious and bloodied form, he knew passing the blame to Llexe in full was just as discourteous as swearing at her. He could have moved to stop her sooner. He could have taken on Cobra himself, or at least in tandem with the more aggressive person. And in turn, there was no way he could blame Llexe for Light's wounding. He was angry with her, true, and he was rather forming an image of her in his mind that he'd rather not form of anybody, but frankly speaking, the failure here was utterly his own, and his anger dissipated quickly, giving way to despair and self-hatred as he knelt next to the woman unfortunate enough to draw Llexe's ire.

This was unacceptable. How could he have let it happen? How dare he let it happen? He had more skill than that, he knew he did, and yet he'd allowed this failure of justice to come to fruition, not to mention... hell. Llexe was wounded too, not to mention Light. They needed medical assistance, and quickly.
Emperor Kuzco

❚❚

Okay, so here's something you don't see every day, folks: a little bit of fog comes rolling in nearby, and then some girl with frizzy orange hair and a green dress charges right out of it, on... I wanna say it's a very large and sleek-looking llama, but I don't think llamas grow that big, or move that fast! Then she comes to a sudden stop, falling off her giant sleek llama- And that does look like it hurt by the way. You see? Conscientiousness. I think that's the word.

But then as people start going over to see if she's alright, the girl gets up, dusts herself down, and starts spouting off in some weird dialect about how there's a city just over there, and what are these animals, and who are we, and oh my GOSH I can't understand a large chunk of what she said. And I mean, she looks rich too? Like royalty rich, maybe even? Which would be a weird coincidence, because that'd mean two different royals set off on two separate quests, came to the same place, happened to meet each other right outside that place... uhh, not sure how to show the sketch of how unlikely that is... it was so much easier when I was doing this on camera...

Whatever, I'll come up with something. In the meantime, you wanna see how I dealt with that? Ahahah, yeah, of course you do. Okay.






'Wh- whu- huh?'

This was a bit of a blindside for Kuzco, if he had to admit it. You didn't just come across people yelling at you about stuff every day, especially as an emperor. In fact, the guards were immediately on edge as a result - especially since this had interrupted their evening meal. But, that was okay, because Kuzco could handle this.

'Uh- okay, settle down, men, and... also you,' Kuzco uttered to the two groups, smoothly, with not a hint of maybe some confusion as he stood and approached the newcomer. 'I'm pretty sure I could ask you the same questions, assuming I heard the questions right, so, uh... tell you what, I'll answer first, and then you can answer your own questions, so we don't need to ask them again.' Yes, a perfect solution, one that had Kuzco smiling, quite pleased with himself and his logic. 'I am Emperor Kuzco, Emperor of the Kingdom of the Sun, maybe you've heard of it,' he introduced himself, suavely offering his hand to the weird girl to shake. 'The animals are alpacas, but I don't think any of them are taking bathroom breaks...' He double-checked to be sure. Nope, not at that specific moment. '...aaand we are not camping outside a city. It's a dinner break! For the alpacas, too. Okay, your turn, let's hear it!' he exclaimed, clapping his hands together, ready to hear what this lady had to say.
Well, that had gone pleasantly. It transpired that most other minions remained outside, and by the time he'd stepped out, two... very, very similar-looking women had appeared, the only noticeable difference being which of them was blowing a bubblegum bubble, at least at first. However, leaders they inevitably were, for their mere presence brought their allies running to their side, some even revived and ready to fight all over again. A fascinating amount of charisma. Yet what a shame it was wasted on crime.

Llexe made her attack immediately, lunging from- ah, the one he'd winded was looking to be in bad shape- from the doorframe and into the sky, dropping down on the twins with what looked to be a vicious assault. Simultaneously, Light charged into the group, clad in some form of energy that apparently sliced at the gangsters as she literally passed through them. She was an oddity to behold, for certain - but it seemed that Llexe might want help fighting the two identical gang leaders. Or not, but she'd probably lose if she fought them on her own... or kill them outright. Either way, his help would be required.

Knives, and fans. Kiyoshi knew that of the two, the fans were the more defensive weapon; though normally tessen were used as clubs rather than razors, they were nonetheless good at deflecting attacks. That being said, of the two, Kiyoshi believed the knife-bearer might be somewhat simpler to render a non-threat. And thus, after a second or two of consideration and walking calmly in their direction, Kiyoshi, for want of a better word, "charged" - though his real self continued to calmly walk toward the duo, his figure suddenly blurred into a chain of rapid afterimages around the weaker gang members, each image holding the wooden blade as if to strike from above until the clone before the final clone. The last clone, the true attacker of the chain, spawned into existence in a crouched position, already moving to unleash quite an abrupt low slash toward the knife-wielder's gut specifically, an effort to catch her and her ally off-guard by how it repositioned itself - and luck had it that it even struck both of them in one go, occupied with other threats as they were. This was his Afterimage Strike, or at least a version of it - funnily enough, the ability to spawn ki images of oneself was extremely useful, especially when they didn't have to spawn in the same positions as their predecessors.

Whether or not the attack made contact, most of the clones would vanish, save one positioned right next to one of the weaker gang members. To those who knew not how the technique worked, they might well be shocked to realise Kiyoshi's "real" body faded too. To those in the know, they'd be more than aware that his real body had merely switched places with the image in question, just in time to follow up his initial charge with a blow to the head of the unfortunate man, knocking him out cold. The gamble was, would this draw attention? It surely wouldn't matter either way, of course, but he imagined that Viper and Cobra would be too preoccupied to deal with his presence specifically, or else that the other gang members would be dealt with accordingly before a loss of focus would be a problem.
Emperor Kuzco

Ahhh. Man, I always thought travelling places like this would be rough, but this isn't so bad. Fresh air, open skies, a nice gentle rocking motion... oh, and plenty of travelling food! Who knew alpacas could carry so much food such a long way without getting tired?

'Sire, I believe the alpacas are getting tired,' the nearest guard said, his blue-and-burgundy bodypaint breaking Kuzco out of his daydreaming. Woah, evening-dreaming, even. Who knew doing nothing could take so little time? 'Perhaps we ought to halt for dinner?'

'Ehh...' Well, it was about that time. They were so close to the city, though; it was right there, just a teensy little bit further... wait, he had a plan. 'Alright, let's take half an hour, and then we're pushing on until we get there. I'm sure we all want to sleep under a roof tonight, right?' Well, they had ceilings, but they were ceilings made of cloth and attached to carts. Carts pulled by alpacas! They'd considered llamas, but those weren't presentable. They didn't like being brushed. But they loved spitting, so.

It took only a few seconds for the royal procession to come to a full-halt, each of the twelve guards forming a line leading to one of the carts, with Kuzco modestly taking his place in the middle of the line. The nearest man to the travelling device, of course, yanked the velvet rope tied to the red-and-gold tent atop it, pulling out all the hidden cookware and surfaces, and rapidly transforming it into what amounted to a makeshift chef's kitchen. And stepping in, taking the spot of master chef, was none other than...

'Alright, boys, today's dish is chicken in spicy grub sauce!' called the chef, who was average-sized, yellow-haired, and decidedly not Kronk. Admittedly, Calo's food was pretty good in its own right, else he wouldn't have accompanied the procession, but it wasn't Kronk good. Kronk's food was practically divine, fit for a king - or, an Emperor! Hah, man, he just loved Kronk. What a champ.

'Where the heck is Kronk?' Kuzco asked after a moment, realising that pontificating internally hadn't brought the musclebound man into view.

'Nature watching!' came the answer from Calo as he served the first guy. 'Keep the line moving, sire, folks behind you wanna eat too!' Right, right. "Nature watching." God, of all the times for somebody to get lost- okay, to be fair, Kuzco had been only half-aware of the world for the last few hours. He was sure Kronk would show up sooner or later; the big lug had a sense of direction like a bloodhound. Kronk would show up soon, Kuzco just knew it. Kronk was always... definitely not going to show up just because he was thinking hard about it. Fiiine, he'd have the stupid chicken, but he didn't have to enjoy it.

...oh, that was pretty tasty, actually!
Maceroy Falthon

The giant of light sighed at Blorb's inevitable overreaction. It was always like that, it seemed - first he offered a few wimpy slaps of meat, and then a massive wave of ingredients to either shield himself, launch at his foes, or as in this case both. Almost sad to consider, honestly. Admittedly, he imagined those meat tendrils and meat blasts might be somewhat more intimidating if he weren't clad in a suit of psychic energy, but when the Wet Towel could dodge them adroitly, it seemed like there was perhaps a mismatch in play.

Nonetheless, the answer to this issue was obvious. Rather than falling, Arete's wings expanded outward again, and he propelled himself skyward, scooping the Wet Towel up in one hand as he took them both up and over the wall of ingredients with a triumphant cry of 'The only one falling today is you, villain!' This in turn was followed with a swoop back down toward the fatty freak, an effort to get in range so they could strike him again with his free hand. Because honestly, why wouldn't he do that? If WT had any ideas of her own, he'd of course help her with her plans too, but against this ignoramus, there was hardly any thought needed.
Hm. So Light wasn't human. Curious, indeed. Indeed, the way she put it made her sound... extra-dimensional, almost. He wasn't quite sure what to make of it. He did, however, find it quite encouraging that Christopher was so aware of Japanese historical figures; it highlighted the potential for them to bond over such discussions, something he hoped he could find with everybody, cementing the team's cohesion and friendships accordingly.

To that end, Eve's idea of a trust exercise seemed reasonable enough to him. He could, however, see when others were against it, and worried for a moment that a fight was about to break out. Fortunately, that possibility was interrupted by Eve's secretary, even if he found himself disturbed by Light's unveiled form in the process of announcing a gang attack. Well, handling that matter did seem like a more appropriate expenditure of time... with another formal bow, Kiyoshi took his exit, following after those who had left the room before him smoothly.




Their arrival to the store in question was quickly followed by most of the group springing into action - that is, Naja literally sprang into the store, throwing one of the Tunnel Snakes out and into a light post, with Llexe not far behind her. Speaking of light, Light and Christopher both took their opportunities to attack some of the guards posted outside the shop, Light seeming to play around more than anything else, whilst Christopher took the fight as deadly serious, albeit not in the most efficient manner from what Kiyoshi saw before making his own way into the shop, pulling his weapon forth from within his clothes sheath and all. The movement drew the attention of a few gang members who, it seemed, had witnessed the two brawlers further inside, and had no desire to get involved with them, instead turning their attention to somebody with a weapon - and so, in their minds, somebody who couldn't defend themselves without it.

'Well, hey there, fella! Nice dress you got on!' one of them immediately taunted, drawing laughter from the rest. Kiyoshi simply took up his stance, well aware that flailing Seirei around even whilst contained as a suburitō would lead to broken wares. Precise hits, then. Vertical slashes and jabs. Four opponents for the moment.

'Nice stick you got. Hey, lookie here,' another called, pulling out a wooden baseball bat, 'I gotta stick too! Wanna taste?!' With that battle cry, the man charged, and was almost immediately disarmed by a jab to the wrists, then hit in the side with a heavy length of wood, knocking him to the ground next to his bat. Flailing would lead to broken wares, of course - but Kiyoshi did not flail his blade.

'Hey, you son of a-' The next target did not get further than that before the tip of the sword rammed hard into the base of his sternum. Penetrated flesh and cracked bone? No. Bruised? Maybe. Knocked the wind out of his lungs by forcing his diaphragm to seize? Certainly, and he fell to his knees as his lungs refused to inhale. Kiyoshi began to count seconds before he'd be able to inhale once again. As the other two gang members made their commentary and attempted to move into range to strike him, Kiyoshi's weapon moved in kind, beating them again and again on their shoulders, their limbs, their stomachs, forcing them back toward the door, and eventually putting Kiyoshi close to the first gangster - who chose then to try and rise, groping for his weapon before a hard stab downward pinned him to the floor by his shoulder, just long enough for a second strike to the back of his head to render him unconscious.

Which left three immediate threats, one of whom had just pulled a switchblade, and was flicking it in and out as if to threaten. Kiyoshi took his base stance again, and chose then to speak to them.

'You both have a choice, now. Leave, return to civilian life, and no harm shall befall you. Stay, or return to gang life, and rest assured you'll be sorry.' A basic ultimatum, simple and clean. Both seemed skeptical about moving into attack range again, and after a few seconds, the unarmed man decided that cutting his losses might be a good call, turning around and running out of there as quickly as possible.

The last man was more of a disappointment, in that Kiyoshi was disappointed in how he'd failed to change the man's opinions even if just slightly, but at least creative about disappointing. Rather than running in to stab Kiyoshi, he drew his arm back and hurled the knife, as if to try and impale him with it from where he was standing. He'd be very confused, then, to find that with a swift flick upward, the switchblade was now quivering in the ceiling, and Kiyoshi's sword was raised in front of him. He'd be even more surprised to see Kiyoshi... the best way he might be able to describe it was "blurring in his direction", as if moving at impossible speeds, to the point that all he'd have time to do was squeeze his eyes shut in fear.

Kiyoshi held off from attacking until the man opened his eyes again to see Kiyoshi in front of him, at which point the samurai struck him over the skull. The gangster's eyes glazed, and Kiyoshi took hold of his body to lower it more gently to the floor. Then came the final man, who was partly recovered and crawling in Kiyoshi's direction even as his body finally forced an insufficient amount of air into his lungs. Sighing, Kiyoshi rolled him on his back and, despite the gangster's best efforts, rammed his blade into his sternum a second time, seizing his diaphragm all over again. That should keep him down long enough for anybody who wished to knock him out properly to do so, and he'd recover his breathing well before he suffered any permanent harm, Kiyoshi was certain.

On to the next set of foes.

(2 KOed men, 1 winded man, 1 fleeing man to be dealt with as others so wish)
Thugs and scum. Alternately, people trapped in untenable situations, whose only chance of potentially getting out of poverty was to work for people worse than them. Not the gang leaders themselves, to wit, but surely not every single individual gang member was a heartless monster. But then, that made not killing them all the more vital - not just to avoid police intervention, but ultimately to prevent the needless deaths of those in need. Albeit, the alternative was arguably just as bad... gah. Kiyoshi hated this sort of cognitive dissonance. To save the city, the only option actively presenting itself was to badly injure its inhabitants and drive them out. Blast.

'I am Hikari Kiyoshi,' he quietly re-introduced himself at Eve's request, 'and it is a pleasure to meet you all. As previously stated, you may all refer to me by just my given name, Kiyoshi. If you wish, you are also free to use one of my titles instead - Myriad Man, or... Kensei.' He preferred not to refer to himself as "Sword Saint", as it implied a degree of hubris, and he found it disconcerting and even uncomfortable when others referred to him with such authority, despite their being equals or even superiors. Nevertheless, for completion's sake, it was necessary to mention the term others had developed for him, and allow others to act accordingly.
As it turned out, passing a 180cm-long nodachi through airport security was shockingly difficult. It could, however, be done, as long as it was disguised as a suburitō and your flight was paid for privately. So too was hiding a weapon of that size difficult, even when it couldn't legally be called a sword, but not impossible when one wore items that flowed as loosely as, say, a kimono. And so it was that Hikari Kiyoshi entered the building and ultimately the head office of Roulette Co.'s New Carona branch, armed not to the teeth per se, but more than sufficiently to suit his purpose in being there.

The contrast between the sheen of this building and the grime of New Carona in general made it all the clearer to Kiyoshi that the city really needed some help. And help their disparate party would, apparently - though they could not appeal to authorities to fix matters, they could forcefully defeat the crime lords and gangsters that had taken the place over, displayed most adroitly by a kick whose precise severing of the company leader's desk made the swordsman instantly self-conscious. Cleanly severing objects with a blade was one thing, but with one's own limbs was quite another. Either way, Kiyoshi's internal sigh went unheard, but... he knew how people worked. Defeating crime lords left power vacuums, after all. Did Miss Roulette intend to fill those vacuums herself, with her company's tender blessings? He wondered what sort of city that would create in the end.

Still, it fell to the gathered group's largest member to speak first, outwardly impressed as he was. Whilst his body was disguised, his voice was strained simply to utter two words, and Kiyoshi couldn't help but wonder what sort of stress he was under. After him, the similarly-disguised woman spoke; he'd seen her teeth between drinks, and the reveal of her strangely-coloured hair indicated that perhaps she wasn't entirely human. Peppy, however. Next to speak was the so-called Red-Hot Riot - so-called, Kiyoshi considered, because she showed her anger toward the name immediately. She seemed rather irritable in general, actually. But, she too was actionable toward the cause if only half-heartedly, as was the woman with cybernetic limbs and a build that was... actually somewhat concerning to witness. Kiyoshi wasn't sure how well her waist supported her intensely-muscled upper body, admittedly, though she was clearly not hampered. Perhaps another ki user such as himself? In any case, last to declare allegiance was the Street Samurai of Brazil, though she- ah, the voice indicated masculinity, so good thing that was made clear before Kiyoshi made a huge error of courtesy- though he self-described as a ninja with a good cause.

It seemed all and sundry had said their piece, save himself. Standing up and clearing his throat gently, he spoke out, politely, professionally if one would, addressing the group as much as the woman who had brought them together: 'I pledge my sword toward the goal of excising New Carona's criminal element, for as long as the task will take. And if it would be simpler for you, Miss Roulette, you are free to refer to me as just Kiyoshi. Likewise to you all.' Alongside this final greeting, he offered a formal thirty-degree bow lasting about two seconds - again, polite, though he knew that to some he would not have been anywhere near formal enough. On the one hand, his parents would have insisted that he refer to Eve as Sensei, or at the very least Roulette-sama, and likewise that he'd ask her to call him Hikari-kun and his companions to call him Hikari-san, all to show proper respect. On the other hand, he'd learned very quickly that nobody native to the United Kingdom nor the United States talked like that, and that doing so outside of friend and family groups led to getting picked on very quickly. Not that he couldn't defend himself from bullying of that sort... rather, certain people also frowned on doing so, ironically enough, especially his parents. What a paradox.
After a fair period of deliberation, the eventual entry plan was established: Arthur and Hogan would sneak in via a side-entrance and make their way backstage, whilst Leonard, Laurie, and Mieke would watch the show proper and join the man-croc duo afterwards. With that plan in place, both parties split up, and made their way toward their respective destinations...

@Lugubrious@LemonZest1337
It took a couple of minutes, but walking round the side of the building would yield results: a door marked “Staff Entrance” that, when entered, led into a relatively quiet part of the building - not to say that it was devoid of activity, with people working behind the scenes ranging from janitors to stagehands, and of course security guards. Suffice to say, whilst sneaking Hogan away from the entrance without being seen was simple enough, but ensuring that he could reasonably be said to have been there all along might get difficult if they weren’t far enough into the building, and if they were discovered too early, things could well turn ugly quickly.

@knifeman@ProPro@Old Amsterdam
Naturally, the entrance into the building was far simpler for the group without a crocodile. They had the tickets, showing them to the doorhop wasn’t problematic in the slightest, and whilst they were caught in the press of the crowd for a bit, making their way further in was by no means a problem... at least until they started heading into the main theatre room.

It was then that Mieke felt a heavy hand on her shoulder, and a deep voice utter ‘Oi.’ If she or her companions turned to the owner of the voice, they’d see the face of a man clearly scarred by life - literally, a stitched-over scar covering his face from cheek to cheek across his nose bone, with a heavy black coat and cigar to boot. In fact, it looked like the cigar had been recently lit and put out, a definite no-no in a building like this, though it didn’t emit any smoke. All told, the man’s glare was nothing if not intimidating...

‘Can ya tell me how ya dyed ya hair that color? It’s gorgeous.

Apparently, though, his motives were less than aggressive. Conversation, of course, was always an option, but it seemed he wasn’t really a threat at all if they simply wanted to find their way to their seats.
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