Recent Statuses

13 hrs ago
Current @ImmortalJaskier: Characters? Depends on the ratio of humour. Players? Not too young at all! The experience will surely be good for them, so long as you make it clear what behaviours are acceptable.
1 like
5 days ago
Time chamber, go to past.
6 days ago
24 days ago
Are you looking at THIS? *slams… at you*
25 days ago
@LittleMouse: Having read much of the Throne of Glass series, be warned that it changes focus drastically in the fourth main series book and onward. All I can say without it being spoilers.


Hello, I am me from the internet. I migrated here from Kongregate's Forum Games Forum, so feel free to look for me there if you wish to follow a career in internet stalking people. (ಠ_ಠ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A link to some of my past characters, which I need because static tabs do not take up internet.

Infamous Quotes From People Who Exist

“I really don’t follow how your faith believes its perfectly acceptable to doom 4,000 years plus of sentient beings, on a pre-set path of no escape from sin, just so their descendants can be offered the ‘chance of salvation’ when the god murders its own son.”

“Don’t be an ass or a pussy, ’lest you get screwed by life. Being a mouth or a hand is somewhat safer, and an eye socket is pretty much sacred in this regard, so always keep a look out.”

Most Recent Posts

Maceroy Falthon

Well, bright ideas or no, her towels sure could pack a punch. And so did he, for that matter, clocking the overweight dastard in a way that KOed him without inflicting excessive damage. Who knew the corner of the jawline was such an effective pressure point? Him, actually, having formed his fist in a way that specifically put pressure on the point in question. He'd get up sooner or later, anyway.

'Grand show, Wet Towel,' he congratulated his temporary partner, offering a thumbs-up to the younger woman, moments before the buzzing of his phone in his pocket indicated a text received. Shoot, and he couldn't answer that right now without lowering his exoskeleton's defenses...

'I'll leave handing this villain over to you, then,' he prompted, his armour's wings extending out to lift him upward once again. 'I trust you'll make sure he receives a cell that'll properly contain him this time!' With that uttered, he moved off, sighing under his breath as he exited the scene. God, dealing with Blorb was a chore... and it'd cut into his ability to actually educate people, since the chances were his biology class would absolutely get skipped by his students. But, if he wasn't able to attend his own courses, what sort of teacher was he?

...he considered that as he soared well above the buildings of the city, his exoskeleton vanishing once he was sure nobody would see his figure. He could teach his students all about the body. He could teach them about the strange way the universe worked. He couldn't teach most of them what exactly the right way to live was, though, and there were hardly any courses encouraging them in that regard either. Hell, many would probably never reach a position where they could make a meaningful change to begin with, at least not as individuals. It was cynical, sure, pessimistic even - but he honestly couldn't see evidence to change his mind, not when even the most active of activists failed. Maybe if he'd minored in psychology...

Bah. He'd figure something out. Still flying, he drew out his phone, tapping it until the text he'd received came up - <something big came up that i gotta discuss with ya>, sent by Eve. Something big... a lot of people might interpret that message as the equivalent of "we need to talk", and that would lead certain people down catastrophic trains of thought. Of course, "big" could just as easily be good as bad- oh, maybe she'd received one of the jobs she'd wanted! Tapping <Phone-big, or in-person-big?> into his phone and sending it, he tucked it back into his pocket, keeping an eye open for the same alleyway he'd surged out of to begin with... ah, there it was. Not long now before he could return to his civilian cover.
@knifeman@ProPro@Old Amsterdam
The moment the man’s eyes fell upon Leonard’s weapon, they widened slightly. Thus warned, both overtly and subtly, he removed his hand from the girl and stepped away from the three of them, at least as far as he could with the density of the crowd; though Mieke reassured them that all was well, he remained plainly jarred by the situation in general.

‘Hey, listen, I didn’t mean ta cause any trouble...’ he uttered, a bit faster than he’d been talking before, more to stave off harm than justify himself. ‘Just wanted ta get her attention in the crowd, was all. Er, anyway, thanks fer the tip, miss.’ Waving farewell, he made a quick exit out of the theatre, apparently more concerned with keeping himself safe than getting the value of his ticket. Other than this, no other interruptions occurred as the trio made their way to their seats.

@Lugubrious@LemonZest1337@knifeman@ProPro@Old Amsterdam
And a few minutes later, the show began. Abruptly, a loud bang and a cloud of smoke obscured the stage from both the audience and those positioned backstage or elsewhere, and as it cleared, the crowd would see the platform already filled with a variety of stunt equipment, and the men of the hour already in the middle, standing proudly in order from biggest to smallest, all with wide grins. The Crazy Crue Brothers, their first appearance to most of the group, and only the second for Mieke in particular.

‘Ladies and gentlemen... wwwwWWWWWWELCOME TO THE SHOOOOW!’ the eponymous header for the trio crowed, to the great applause of the assorted audience members as his voice echoed out from speakers to the masses. ‘I hope you’re all ready, because THIS is like NOTHING YOU’VE EVER SEEN BEFOOOORE!’

And with little delay, they leapt right into it. The next hour and thirty minutes was, to most present, astounding to witness. High dives, displays of choreographed acrobatics set to music, the occasional group performance, even a car crash despite the implausibility of fitting a car into the theatre, and more sharp objects than one could count, all punctuated by entertaining anecdotes from each brother that could well be turned into a show all by themselves. And at no point were the crowd subjected to anything akin to the gruesome scene that had played out in the park a day earlier.

‘Thank you, ladies and gentlemen!’ the eldest announced after their latest stunt, a ludicrous foray into juggling as many dangerous objects between two men as might be feasibly plausible, including a third man. ‘We hope you’ve enjoyed the evening so far, we have another half an hour before the show ends, and plenty more to cram into that time - BUT FIRST! Our next stunt WILL require a volunteer, and it’s going to be one of YOOUU lucky viewers tonight!’

One of the viewers? “Oooh”, murmured the crowd in response, muttering to itself with mixed glee and concern as they realised what this might mean for them - involvement with the sharp objects and dangerous stunts going on. ‘I hope your fingers are CROSSED for this!’ the elder Crue added, before calling ‘CUE THE LIGHTS!’ At once, the room went dark, not too dark to see, just so that a number of spotlights could visibly be seen raking over the crowd, their beams gradually crossing over every individual in their path as a drumroll played in the background.

Several seconds pass in heated suspense. Not much seems to happen. Quite suddenly, the lights all focus on one person - the shy girl in the seats between Leonard and Laurie. Mieke Choux.

'THE GIRL IN SEAT 2438! COME ON UP, YOUNG LADY!' the announcer crowed, over the sound of the crowd cheering for the lucky young lady. Oh, certainly she was a trained professional, that was how it always worked, but what they wouldn't give to be in her position right now!
Emperor Kuzco

...well, this guy was probably right, since the girl aimed a bow at the guard and all. If Kuzco kept doing stuff like that at her, she'd probably shoot him, and technically, lording one's authority wasn't something Pacha would do - nor was it something Kuzco was keen on doing too much, after a very personal lesson about what lording one's authority would result in. He still didn't like being told off for it, though, and he folded his arms and pouted just a touch grumpily afterward, though it was a loose fold. You know, just in case he got an arrow aimed between his legs. But then, he was right, in that getting interrupted during an important conversation was, well, annoying, and clearly the guard agreed with him there, based on the rant given to the...

...huh. How had he missed that the other lady had a dragon on her? It was bright and colourful and everything... and he looked like he could talk. Yeesh. Maybe he'd have to direct that guy to Yzma's "secret lab" at some point, get him changed back to human. Oh, and the guard was still talking, okay, okay... aww. The diplomacy had steps and steps to it, apparently.

'Well, that kind of sucks,' Kuzco admitted, returning to mere melancholy in mood. Heh, nice. 'I was hoping it'd take a little less time than that, since... well, y'know, I have other places to go too.' He gestured to Merry-da, as if in example, though he wouldn't be overly surprised if she took this first impression and ran off with it, even if she had apologised. Yeesh, if her kingdom was anywhere near his, he imagined diplomacy would be a bit rough...

'Oh, speaking of, I think I do know where we are!' he added, glancing over to both the two ladies asking about where they were. 'If the research I did was right, and I know how to pronounce letters silently, then the name of this city iiiis, lemme remembeeer... Parry!' He paused, half a grin on his face and one arm on his hip as he considered what he'd just said, then leaned over to the guy who actually lived there and loudly whispered, 'That's the city's name, right?'
@Eviledd1984 I'd say have her make note of Roxanne's report, then follow the orders given to return to the extraction point.
Emperor Kuzco

Oh for- they weren't sheep! Now this strange-looking woman was calling them some animal, too? And OH, this orange-haired crazy girl did NOT just sass the title- alright, relax, do what Pacha would do...

'Okay, well, sir-' Nope, the girl was being loud. 'I am here be- uh, because-' Why was she- 'BECAUSE-' Would she just- 'Actually, they're-' Why was she still talking? 'Hey, Princess Merry-da?' What was she saying?! 'Merry-d-' They weren't even that close to- 'Okay, shut UP, I am TRYING to talk with the guard, THANK YOU!' he finally snapped, stamping his foot just to relieve some of his frustration. Yeah, he was trying to do what Pacha would do, but no way would Pacha just sit down and let people talk smack about him.


'If she keeps talking, make her stop talking,' he said to the guard. Luckily, he didn't have to put up with it. 'Like, cover her mouth or something so she won't keep interrupting me.' She was the most impolite and incomprehensible girl he'd ever come across, frankly. And she didn't even have the good looks to make up for it the way Malina did. Or the smarts, if she was going to keep claiming Emperors- sorry, "Emporers" weren't important. Hah, see? He could mock her too. He wasn't gonna keep doing it, because it's not what Pacha would do, but he could.

'Okaaaay,' he huffed, his guards on standby now to move in and stop Merry-da from talking over him if she kept trying to do so, and incidentally very presentable in the process, 'well first of all, as you can see, these giants are blue and red, so somebody's description is a little off! Ahaha, and the uh, the alpacas aren't for riding, and they aren't donkeys, or goats, or sheep-' He ticked each animal that they weren't off on his finger as he went through them. Seriously, sheep? '-or heoress, or demons... I think the princess there said dorgs, dogs? Whatever.' And he was totally fine with them not being those animals, even if they weren't shiny and slick. From what he'd seen, the heorsse weren't very well-behaved, regardless. Not great for pulling stuff, probably.

'As for why I'm here, I am on a diplomatic mission,' he further explained with a more relaxed smile. 'I hail from the Kingdom of the Sun- in fact, I am the Emperor of this kingdom, name of Kuzco. I heard this-' He gestured to the city in the near distance. '-and many other kingdoms were scattered around, and I've been reliably informed that good relations are key to good fortunes!' Oh boy, didn't he know that? 'So, to forge fortunate relationships, I intend to start discussing such matters with other rulers, trade routes and alliances and such, and see how it all goes.' There they were, then. Simple, matter-of-factly, diplomacy. And... alright, he figured he'd said the important bits. Snapping his fingers as a gesture, the guards near Merida stepped away, indicating that she was probably free to talk without being stopped again, for now anyway. If she kept talking over him, maybe not.
Heheh. That's a good post all round, @Stormflyx. Very nicely done.
Emperor Kuzco

So, this young lady with a weird accent was by far the strangest person Kuzco had ever come across. Or rather, the mouthiest person he'd ever come across, Yzma beat her for strangeness no question, only he had no idea how she could ruin her phrasing of so many words so badly, plus who didn't know what an Emperor was? And they were alpacas, dang it!

'Uhh, you do know Emperor is a title, right, Princess Merry-da?' Kuzco asked, just a touch impolitely. He knew that much about princesses, so it wasn't like she couldn't have done her research about... whatever, didn't matter, because a small army of, how many was that uh... they split into three groups, ten, twenty, yeah, thirty armoured soldiers had just ridden up and encircled their camp. Immediately, Kuzco was acutely aware that those guys could probably deal with this small group pretty quickly - his men were armed but not really heavily armoured, there were thirty of these soldiers to his twelve, three of them were mounted on more of those giant smooth alpacas, so... yeah, nearly three guys each, even if his guys were buff as heck. Then again, he was here on a diplomatic rather than combative mission, and he was being asked if they could approach peacefully. Soooo...

'Sure, come on over!' Kuzco called, waving the leader toward him. 'Peacefully, mind. We got approached already, and uh, somebody fell off their... hhhoerss.' He was pretty sure he'd mangled the pronunciation, and his face in trying to pronounce it that way, especially with how impossible it was to figure out Merry-da's accent, but the fact there were more of them pretty much proved these creatures were more common here than alpacas or llamas.

'We've got food if you're hungry,' he continued with a grin, saying that as much to the weirdly-accented lady as to the guard man. 'We can introduce ourselves over it, get to know one another. Oh- hey,' he realised, turning to face Merry-da and the new guy, 'do either of you know the guy who rules this kingdom? Or girl, I don't, y'know, judge on that or whatever,' he added, waving his hands to make sure they knew he wasn't judging. Hey, he had a hottie-hot-hottie ruling his kingdom as Empress Regent in his absence, so he'd better not be judgy. He had come up with a good maxim, actually: What Would Pacha Do? And Pacha wouldn't judge.
Humm. Aeryn's grip was, ah, quite strong when she put her mind to it. And it was obvious she was more impressed with Beren's musculature than his own. No matter, though. He was not a jealous man, for generally he could get what he wanted out of people with his wit rather than his build. Though admittedly, a larger frame might help him escape a grasp such as... well, this, which was not actually helpful all things considered.

Beren, it seemed, had other ideas than being stuck next to her. He slipped free of her grasp and went ahead, to talk to whoever had intruded upon the village - non-violently for now, or so it seemed. Which left Sett with Aeryn... and, well, a nice view if he felt so inclined to glance over her form. He wouldn't, but he could. And actually, if he thought about it, he could probably also guide them into a position better suited to gather information from!

'Come,' he said as he guided his gripped arm to push insistently against Aeryn's back, his tone more intently serious than usual, both legitimate and feigned to some degree, 'let us move to support our ally.' Yes, support. From a ways away. And with his hand guiding her in roughly the direction he wanted, at least if she weren't actively putting up resistance, he made to bring them both toward the front of the town, stopping once the newcomer was in sight and earshot. And Fineki above, if she didn't look questionable, albeit built in a fascinating manner. He'd have to see how this situation panned out, then... at least Beren seemed relaxed for the moment.

@POOHEAD189@Gardevoiran@The Fated Fallen@Fetzen@Stormflyx@Mortarion@IcePezz
Plus BC can vouch for me when I say my laptop died for the second time in a month and got factory reset.

Can confirm that this did indeed happen.
@POOHEAD189 Feck. No, in my case, it just totally slipped my mind as to how the deadlines were applied and how long was left, and I honestly just have a habit of putting stuff off too much anyway. I'll try to get a post done soon, though my evening today is going to be rather packed, so I'm not sure if it'll be today or tomorrow.
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