Avatar of Bork Lazer

Status

Recent Statuses

11 mos ago
Current Auld Lang Syne, everybody. roleplayerguild.com/topics/…
2 yrs ago
Vote in my new quest, Mirage, a RP quest set in the far, far future roleplayerguild.com/topics/…
2 yrs ago
Kink-Shaming. Kink-Shaming Never Changes.
3 likes
3 yrs ago
roleplayerguild.com/posts/5… Vote for Dead in Depression. The mechanics of the quest have now been posted!
3 yrs ago
Voting is open until the end of the week! Please come and vote! - roleplayerguild.com/topics/…
1 like

Bio





ROLEPLAY BUCKET LIST
- Walmart Apocalypse Roleplay
- Nightmare Gas Station
- Underrail/Fallout/Post Apocalyptic Roleplay. Codename: Clausterclysm
- Anthromorphic Grimdark Animal Fantasy Roleplay. Codename: Fallowbrook.
- Eldritch Abomination Garfield Roleplay. Codename: Lasagna.
- Infinite IKEA Roleplay. Codename: God Morgon
- Roleplayerguild High School RP. Codename: Highschool Roleplay
- Cyberpunk South East Asia RP. Codename: Straits of Malacca. [CURRENTLY HAPPENING]


CURRENT PROJECTS

- FRAYED TAPESTRY - AN EPIC FANTASY RP (WIP)
- THE LAST DEPRESSION - A RED MARKETS QUEST/PLAY BY POST RP (UNDECIDED)

Most Recent Posts

A Collaboration with @Rapid Reader

"Well, since you ask so nicely, Mr. Socks," Clara said with a broad smile.

The air crackled with arcane energy as Clara moved her hands and chanted low words in a language dead long before death had really managed to make the jump from theoretical idea to applied destroyer of all that ever was. A jumble of broken bones levitated in the air near the edge of the boulder. Mended with magic, the bones began to snap together, forming a grim puzzle of that soon towered some nine feet over three wizards. Despite being a motley collection of bones, the creature moved with a strange grace and held the massive halberd it had picked up off the ground with clear purpose.

The bone golem nodded towards Val respectfully before turning to face the closet fins that swam through the flowers. No eye sockets were needed for it to cast a judgmentful glance at Nick Nacks as it turned.

Nick Nack's didn't take the jest well, appearing to do a harrumph before hissing back, his sock visage reared back like a cobra. " I am not Mr SOCKS. Mind your tongue, necromancer, for you are speaking to Nick Nacks, the wonderful fantabulous mage, the third of the New Sockomancer Order ,whose preminence defies - " In the middle of his talking, he morphed back into Fred. The literal hand puppet began bouncing his thumb and pinky back in a mock clap. " Oh, oh, oh, that was super amazing!" He bounced up and down with joy before pointing a finger towards the bone golem. " I'm gonna call you Mr Snuggles!"

Fred then ripped out a lone tulip gently from its roots, waving over to Mr Snuggles. " Here, Mr Snuggles. I got a flower to put on your - BLOODS AND GUTS!" Tyroden the Terrible was now present, roaring to the peaceful winds with all the force a maniacal pixie dictator could muster. " This tulip will be the first victim which I offer to my masters!"

The pixie overlord then began tearing into the tulip savagely with gusto, ripping the petals from the base and generally committing all sorts of crimes against flowerkind. After he was done, he tossed its corpse to the ground and then, looked over towards the field of flowers. Ignoring the pleadings of the unworthy in his head, he roared into the winds before charging in a beeline towards the sharks without abandon.

" Huge fins. Huge sharks....." He growled. " That means you have huge guts! Huge guts to rip and tear!"

I will have a post out by Wednesday.

@Bork LazerJust so I know for the future, how precisely would I use the cashier benefit? Do I just write July saying something in the proper color text for it to activate? I figure he might "inadvertently" use it on the Squatter.


Yup, just write out your prompt in colored text.
And done. Please review my character sheet and let me know how I can improve it.
Here's the malformed version of Nick Nacks, the Sockpuppet Wizard. Still working on the concept. Just wanna use you as a sounding board to see whether or not I'm going in the right direction.

TIME: 11:00 PM

LOCATION: The Gas Way Express

Slowly but surely, you work your way through the horde of hungry customers one at a time. Somehow, you manage to whisper to the spark of humanity left in their black, materialistic hearts and convince them to walk up in an orderly fashion. The crowd, once seemingly unassailable, has now dwindled down to a steady line, thanks to your help. Unfortunately for you, Management doesn’t give any bonuses for your patience. After the hullabaloo of the crowd dies down, the Gas Way settles back into an uneasy detente, left with only a few truckers filling up the tanks of their semi-trucks.

All that you’re left with now is the quiet. A silence that hangs in the air like a stretched rubber band.

Well, almost.

In the middle of your conversation, the automatic doors slide open and a liver curdling stench wearing three coats wades into your nostrils. Bloodshot eyes separated by a bulbous nose squint, shadowed by the wide brim of a boonie hat pocketed with holes. His face and two thirds of his chest is covered by a blonde bush of tangled knots. His ratty boots leave prints on your immaculately mopped floor. You can swear you can even see rats scooting in and out, poking their tiny heads out of his pockets.

You’ve heard about him multiple times in earshot, from Al, from other employees. They call him the Squatter. During your online orientation, Al sent you warnings about beggars and vagrants loitering around the Gas Way premises. The Day Shift employees have a betting pool about how long it’ll take for Al to call the cops on him. Perhaps, you’ve seen glimpses of him begging for spare change near the pumps or dozing off in a cardboard box near the Dumps. This is the first time you’ve seen him up close and personal. Maybe, there's some part of you that remembers official Gas-Way policy on dealing with unruly customers but the Squatter's overwhelming perfume of cheap beer and pickled anchovies erases any thought of it from your mind.

He sways drunkenly in one spot for a moment, pawing the bubblegum rack as if it was a religious idol, before he turns on the three of you. He waddles over, knocking over Snickers and candy bars from the bar register, two hands holding onto the side of the table like a lifebuoy. Once he’s close enough that you can smell spirits in his breath, he points one twitchy finger towards Rory.

“ I see what you’re all doing! You’re all fools.” His eyes shift wildly around as he continues to rant in a drunken stupor. “ Best get going from this place if you all know what was good for you. Seen the rainbow butterfly, I did yes. Flapping its wings oér here from the south.” He giggles a little. “ Oh yes, it is real. I saw its babies ice-skating in my brain.” He taps the side of his skull twice. “ Yes….yes...oh, we’ll all witness its birth…..” Without warning, he grabs Rory's shoulder, leaning into his face close enough that you could count each individual wart on his cheeks. " Yes....soon, you'll all regret eating Mexican......mexican....mexi-"

Mid-sentence, he freezes, drawing out the last syllable and stopping completely as if someone hit pause on a TV remote. His eyes glaze over, his drunken mania simmering down into a sober depression. His knees crook over, wobbling as the full nature of gravity sinks into his muscles.

“ Ughhhhhh…..that was a bad trip….” He groans, gripping his head. He looks up at you blearily and then, yawns like he's come out of hibernation. His left hand wanders over towards one of his pockets, searching for something. Sighing in disappointment, he looks at the three of you with a small smile of embarrassment. “ Any of you youngsters got a spare buck for a Yoo Hoo?”

Out in the distance, you can see faint flickers of orange light glimmering in the dark like fireflies. Eyeballing it, they appear to be on the outskirts of the Parking Lot. What’s even more stranger is that you can swear that they’re moving slowly. Purposefully. As if something living is causing them in the first place.

You should probably go investigate it before you're forced to by whatever is out there.

@Firecracker_@Atrophy @Rapid Reader
I dunno why but the suffocation part of the title gave me the vibe that this was going to be some sort of Halo BDSM RP.

Not interested but that’s all I’m gonna say.
Just so you know, I am currently working on a CS for this RP. May take some time, though.
Nick Nacks The Wonderfantabulous




I may be trapped in this accursed form but soon, soon you will all see the majesty that is Nick Nacks!

Name
Nick Nacks Wonderfantabulous The Third Of The New Sockomancer Order and Master Marionette of the Multiversal Fabrics


Age
Approximately 250 years old. Current age of host is 23


Appearance
The Mantle of The Master Marionette varies in its appearance across each and every one of his incarnations, changing its form and features to best suit the ever constant ever-shifting nature of reality. Its current incarnation is a old, frayed blue foot garment made of sheep's wool with buttons sewn onto the end to resemble a makeshift face. The current 6th host of the Master Marionette is a 7 foot tall anthromorphic ventriloquist/bard in training from the mysterious land of Everafter named Okk P Pett. Whenever harnessing the Mantle of the Master Marionette, the sockpuppet which the host wields shifts into one of seven forms, each containing the soul of past Master Marionettes.

Escobar the Eccentric - A yarn peach-skinned human effigy who wields a miniature knife.

Tyroden the Terrible - A barbarian orc puppet fetishitically covered in tinfoil.

Fred - The actual right hand of Okk. Yeah, that’s literally it.

The Penta-Posse - A set of five finger puppets carved from bottle corks and haphazardly sewn together with napkins.

A Sock - A yellow stripped football sock that once belonged to a troll pyromancer.


Personality
Exuberant and boisterous, Nick Nacks The Fantabulous is as grandiose and as hyperbolic as any wizard could be. This has become more apparent due to the limited range of emotion he has as a sockpuppet. Because sockpuppets don't really have eyebrows or lips or - We just don't mention that to him. However, whilst Nick Nack is the dominant personality, other puppets battle for dominance for just one second in the spotlight, each of them with their own unique quirks and behaviors.

Escobar the Eccentric -

Tyroden the Terrible -

Fred -

The Penta-Posse -

A Sock - Emotionless. Mute. Concentrated. Almost as if it's not even alive. Are we sure that this was even a former holder of the Mantle and not some random sock? Who cares.


Habits/Quirks


Past


Moment of Heroism


Moment of Tragedy


Strengths/Abilities
Escobar the Eccentric -

Tyroden the Terrible -

Fred -

The Penta-Posse -

A Sock -


Weaknesses
Fire, Oh Fire -

Musical Chairs -

Hand Puppet Coordination -


Items/Equipment




RELIC
Alright, Im'ma gonna make my post then. Since RedVII is out of the game, I'll be potentially looking for one more person to sign up as attendant in the future.

Until then, it's just going to be you 3.
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