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4 yrs ago
new profile pic who dis
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4 yrs ago
do you ever just feel so mentally drained that even opening your mouth requires ridiculous amounts of effort
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Bio

Hi!

Link to my art page

  • INFP-T
  • Artist
  • Finnish
  • She/Her
  • 21
  • Eternally tired
  • RPs Female characters mostly

Most Recent Posts

I like the little nod to my Greed in the sheet! ;>
@Lilaen Funny, I almost posted here yesterday to ask the same! I'm still interested and waiting for this to start...

𝑴𝓸𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝑯𝓪𝓻𝓽𝒆𝓵𝓵




Location: The beach party, docks
Interacting With: Raven @Zaxter996
Text colour: #adff9f




Molly smiled a bit sheepishly at Raven's response, feeling more than knowing that it hadn't been quite the response she'd been hoping.
"If I had to choose from the people here, though... It oughta be you," Molly added with a mumble that she wasn't sure Raven heard. For some reason saying stuff like that made Molly a little uncomfortable. Sharing affection through words was hard when it wasn't just an easy compliment. There was so much more at stake.

In the aftermath of Molly's next question, the girl noticed Raven's sudden change of mood. She quickly realised the question hadn't been the most upbeat and blamed herself. And surely enough, Raven took the bottle of tequila and brought it to her lips. Molly was about to apologise for bringing up such a question, but Raven's soft question beat her to it.
A lump rose into Molly's throat as she saw the tequila waver ever so slightly in Raven's hold. She looked so distraught, far away gaze sending her soul somewhere beyond Molly's reach. Molly felt awful, a feeling that only amplified when she realised she was curious to know what got Raven so shaken.
Nodding with a worried, grim look on her face, Molly tentatively trailed her hand behind Raven's back, not quite touching the girl. It was silly: they'd been making out so surely it would be fine, but... How would her comfort be recieved? What if Raven shook it off, annoyed by a touch of a person who had no idea what was going on?
Bracing herself for rejection, Molly closed her hand around the silver haired girl's back, fingers coming to rest on her waist in silent support.
"You don't have to share anythin' you don't want to," Molly reminded with a soft tone. "I'm sorry for asking that question. It was... Tasteless," Molly continued with an apologetic look on her face.
"However... If you feel like sharing, I'm more than happy to listen. I'm not goin' anywhere unless you tell me to go."



𝑴𝓸𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝑯𝓪𝓻𝓽𝒆𝓵𝓵




Location: The beach party, docks
Interacting With: Raven @Zaxter996
Text colour: #adff9f




Raven hummed in approval at Molly's question. The silver haired girl had to think before answering, giving Molly time to take the tequila and sip a mouthful of the nasty liquid. As if she wasn't already kind of drunk. Ciders got you halfway there surprisingly quickly, Molly noted through a hazy mind.
Finally Raven mused that she probably wouldn't want to know the answer to anything she could ask. The girl's face was thoughtful, but it looked like she'd made her decision.
"Really? Not anything?" Molly asked, surprised. Then she quieted down to think her own answer to the question, only to come up with nothing. "Or yeah... I can see why you'd say that. I've to admit I really don't want the answer to some questions either," Molly admitted, rueful. Looking at the waves that had gradually darkened as the colours of the sky had changed, Molly realised what Raven had said had an awful lot of sense to it. There were many questions Molly would've liked answered; Would she be happier if her life had gone down a different path? Would she be happy in the future? Or what would she have to do to be able to look back in life with no regrets? All of those questions, and so many more. Getting the answer was tempting, but what if the answer wouldn't be what she'd been hoping for? What if she was doomed to live a life defined by her past self's actions, unable to move forward? She didn't want to know the answer if there was a chance it was affirmative.
The haze of her first drinks had already begun to wear off, but Molly didn't mind. She slowly detached herself from Raven's embrace and sat herself next to the girl in question, sides touching, her hand firmly in Raven's. There was something awfully serene about that moment, them just sitting there and talking about everything and nothing in particular, just getting to know each other's minds. It had been too long a time for Molly to even remember when she'd felt so fulfilled emotionally and physically. Maybe life's purpose wasn't to seek some unexisting state of eternal happiness, but to reach a state of contentment where even in the hardest of times you could be happy to be where you were.
The waves washed gently against the wooden pillars of the docks, sea foam forming on the surface. Raven had thought of her next question.
“If you could spend a night with any person, living or dead, real or fiction, doing whatever you wanted for the night, who would it be and what would you do?” the girl asked, making Molly smile.
"That's too hard," Molly complained with a chuckle, leaning on the shorter girl next to her while she thought of the answer.
"Probably J.Lo, to be honest. Who wouldn't sleep with her if they had the chance?" Molly mused with an amused little smirk. "Sorry I didn't choose you. You gave me too many options to choose from," the blonde smirked with an apologetic look, squeezing Raven's hand.
"I mean c'mon, living or dead? Or fictive? There are too many to choose from. That British chick from Overwatch -Tracer, I think her name was? - Whitney Houston, or Beyoncé for God's sake, or Amy Adams... I wouldn't even mind if there was nothing happening, I'd die just to be in the same space as them," Molly threw from the top of her head as if she was trying to prove a point.
"What's the most scared you've ever been?" Molly asked, genuinely curious. Raven seemed like the kind of person who wasn't scared of anything.

𝑴𝓸𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝑯𝓪𝓻𝓽𝒆𝓵𝓵




Location: The beach party, docks
Interacting With: Raven @Zaxter996
Text colour: #adff9f




It was hard to answer Raven's question when she was being so damn distracting. Molly had barely realised how touch-starved she'd been until this very night. Who knew that a simple touch, practically non-sexual, would bring her such joy. Or maybe it was just the alcohol talking. Probably both.
"Weeeelll..." Molly drew out, scrunching her nose in thought. "To be fair, the drunkest I've ever been is probably somethin' I don't remember myself," Molly admitted in a humorous tone, "although I do remember one time I was so wasted I blacked out at a party and woke up the next morning across the city. I still have, to this day, literally no idea how I got there." Molly laughed at that, remembering her utter confusion upon waking up on a unfamiliar bus station with a killer headache, miles from home.
"That was a few years ago though. I got in a lot of trouble when I returned home. I have to say that after that I started partying less, it kinda lost the appeal," Molly hummed thoughtfully, shaking her head then, as if to shake the memory away. That had been a time when she hadn't been very happy in her life. She had been lost, had no close friends and had just begun dating the school's most popular jock. Who had turned out to be a gaslighting prick, by the way. So maybe that had had something to do with her unhappy mental state. Now, however... Molly found herself quite enjoying life. This summer was a transitioning stage in her life; she could do whatever and then leave her old life behind her once and for all. She could enjoy herself and not worry about getting back into the school where everyone knew her name and face, and who she dated and when. In a way, sitting with Raven right there, right then, was bliss. Being with someone new and exciting and fresh, someone who no doubt had known of Molly, but hadn't hung around in the same circles. And Raven was indeed something special in the way she had patience for Molly's shortcomings even now when she really didn't have any reason to.
Letting the silver haired girl's soothing finger tracing on Molly's skin bring her back to the present, the blonde sighed and bit her lip. Now she looked up at the sky, as if it had all the answers in the world. Her heart had never felt more free, even though still there was a lot of untold baggage she had held on to. Just being able to be who she was and do what (or who, Molly added as a playful afterthought) she wanted made her feel so much better than she had ever felt before.
Suddenly she just wasn't able to control the bursting of emotions, so she just laughed at the sky, lips stretched into a smile so wide it almost hurt. She was so happy.
"Can't believe I actually finally snogged a girl," Molly's voice was full of excitement and awe as she sighed the words while laughing. She brought her hand to her hair and brushed it through her locks, looking back at Raven with a smile a bit more sheepish this time. "Sorry, that must sound so weird, I swear I just..." Molly trailed off, happiness bubbling inside her, feeling of weightlessness amplified by her tipsy state. "...I've wanted this for so long, you've no idea," she finished with an unbelieving laughter. To be there, next to an attractive person and being able to snog her. And cuddle. Molly did love cuddles, after all.
"...anyway, then. I believe it's my turn," Molly said then, voice lowering at the statement, lips tugged into a small smile. "If you could ask the universe any singular question and recieve the true answer, what would that question be?"

𝑴𝓸𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝑯𝓪𝓻𝓽𝒆𝓵𝓵




Location: The beach party, docks
Interacting With: Raven @Zaxter996
Text colour: #adff9f




Molly's breath got caught in her throat when she felt Raven's hand travel ever so slightly under her black t-shirt. A shiver ran through her, and she tried not to freak out even though she was feeling so many things in that one moment.
“Of course not. This can be our little secret until you’re ready," Raven assured, and even though Molly couldn't just blindly trust this girl she didn't know well, she decided to believe her and take comfort in her words. Molly saw a thousand reasons for Raven to do this with her: to expose her to the people at the beach house, to use her for her own needs... But really, what Molly had seen so far about Raven all seemed to fight against that. She didn't have the heart to believe the girl could mean her any harm... and even if she did, Molly would've already fallen into the trap like a fly to a spider's web.
Still, Molly found herself trusting the silver haired girl before her. She had been all but patient with Molly all night, uttering words of comfort to the blonde whenever she was having doubts. A small smile tugged at Molly's lips despite herself. Yeah, this was exactly where she wanted to be right now.
Raven ushered Molly not to worry about that for the time being, hand running through Molly's curly hair. Molly could feel the faint scratch of Raven's nails against her scalp as she did so, shivering at the pleasant feeling. The blonde closed her eyes as Raven tucked the same piece of hair that had kept falling from behind Molly's ear back where it belonged. In return, Molly reached for Raven's hand on her cheek and pulled her palm to her lips, kissing it softly. Something about that gesture felt infinitely more intimate than their kissing, Molly realised, feeling odd about it. Speaking of which, she really wanted to kiss Raven again.
Molly opened her eyes to meet Raven's, a tender smile taking over before her lips parted and she leaned in to kiss the girl in question once... twice... three times. If the earlier kiss had been needy, this was slow and paced. Molly pulled back to let out a content sigh, surprised to find her breath wavering a bit. She didn't know what she was more drunk off of: the alcohol or this feeling coursing through her veins. She never wanted to stop feeling like this, nervous and bold at the same time, excited and so full of something Molly didn't dare to name.
Molly had grown a bit more comfortable in being so close to the other girl now, no doubt thanks to the alcohol setting in. Still, Molly was so caught up in the moment she simply forgot to worry. That could happen more often, if you asked Molly. She'd appreciate it for sure.
"So..." Molly's words ghosted close to Raven's lips, breath warm on her skin. "I believe we had a game going on, left on your turn," she reminded, way beyond what was considered Raven's (or anyone's, for that matter) personal space. Molly's hand had found Raven's body again, but this time instead of putting her hand on the girl's thigh, she had awkwardly placed it at her waist. Molly might've been drunk, but not so drunk she was bold enough to get back at the thigh yet.

𝑴𝓸𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝑯𝓪𝓻𝓽𝒆𝓵𝓵




Location: The beach party, docks
Interacting With: Raven @Zaxter996
Text colour: #adff9f




Molly blushed harder at Raven's soft joke, chest heaving slowly. Her lips were parted in a silent look that was a mix of many swirling emotions.
She gave a small laughter then, letting Raven press their faces together. Molly noticed her hand had been guided to Raven's thigh. Thr way Raven's fingers traced Molly's waist... It made her shiver in something that wasn't cold. Tentatively, she returned the gesture with the hand she had on the girl's thigh, almost experimental.
"I..." Molly whispered, her breath ghosting over Raven's lips. She closed her mouth and averted her eyes slowly, embarrassed. "Sorry... I don't know if my breath smells bad," she apologised, suddenly very self-conscious and hyper aware of their closeness. Then she smiled tentatively, her eyes darting to meet Raven's.
"Tha' was nice," Molly admitted in a husky voice, her whole being gravitating towards the girl holding her. The girl she was currently holding. She must've messed uo the girl's already messy hair completely. It looked cute, Molly noted. And hot. Very hot.
In silent curiosity and awe, Molly's fingers found themselves untangling from the silver hair and coming down to trace Raven's face in soft motions. Her index finger circled over the girls lips, her eyes transfixed and exploring.
Then she snapped back to reality.
"S-sorry. I just... You're so beautiful," Molly whispered, her face rich with wonder. She removed her hands from Raven, even though they felt like ripping tightly glued objects from one another. She looked back at the party far away, swallowing. "You won't... Tell anyone, will you? I- I haven't... No one knows that I'm..." Even now, after fucking kissing a girl, Molly had a hard time saying it aloud, almost like saying it was forbidden. She was gay, and not ashamed of that. But she couldn't say it aloud.

𝑴𝓸𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝑯𝓪𝓻𝓽𝒆𝓵𝓵




Location: The beach party, docks
Interacting With: Raven @Zaxter996
Text colour: #adff9f




Molly felt Raven's hand squeeze her own, the soft warmth calming her raging nerves. To Molly's surprise, the girl answered that experience meant nothing. It was oddly reassuring to hear.
Molly noticed Raven inching closer, and her heart sped up. Okay, so that's not bothering her, she concluded, feeling more comfortable in pressing their thighs subtly together. It was nice, being so close. The butterflies in Molly's stomach only got more lively. She hoped her hand wasn't sweating or anything.
Molly barked a laughter when Raven answered to her question. Yes, she could sign that statement herself as well. Her fashion sense at 14 had been so bad, she'd probably repressed that time of her life from sheer embarrassment. However, Molly's laughter died off slowly as Raven answered the question in a more serious way. Their eyes bore to each other. It was the most intense thing Molly had felt all evening, and she'd been feeling a lot of intense emotions that night. Molly listened to Raven talk, all the while the girl's intense gaze drilled into her, making the butterflies in Molly's stomach fly around and the heart in her chest want to beat out of its cage made out of ribs. She wasn't even hearing Raven's words as much as she was feeling them vibrate through her body, low and husky, rousing something inside of Molly.

Molly's blood roared in her ears, a white noise that she'd experienced earlier that evening, too. She was transfixed to the girl talking about her decisions and how they led her where she was meant to be right now. It was poetic, hypnotic and resonated deep within Molly.
"And I wouldn't want to be anywhere else..."
Before Molly noticed what she was doing, her lips were touching Raven's: a shy, tentative, butterfly of a kiss she'd initiated herself. She must've been leaning gradually closer to Raven without noticing, and then she had just acted, just...
The kiss was very brief, because Molly pulled almost instantly away, clearly disoriented and confused at her own actions, like her own body had betrayed her. Which it had. A furious blush took over her face, which was still hovering relatively close to Raven's. Meeting the shorter girl's eyes, Molly gave Raven a look of uncertainity and awe, eyes communicating the torn emotions Molly felt inside. She must've found whatever she was looking for in Raven's eyes, though, because suddenly her hand which had been shying closer to Raven's shoulder was in the girl's hair, cupping the back of her head and pulling her into a passionate, near desparate kiss. Hungry, emotional, all of it poured into the firm press of soft lips, Molly felt as if she was going to burst if she didn't get physically closer to Raven.
She felt so full, so blissful. It felt like fireworks and magic. There was nothing physically different about it than the kisses she'd had with boys, yet it had all the difference. In how Molly felt inside, that is. She felt alive, free, and just for that moment... She didn't even think about the repercussions. She simply forgot about all her worries and restrictions for the moment, and that was the greatest gift of them all.
Finally, Molly pulled away for breath. Her face was flushed and hair a mess. The longer she spent apart from Raven, the more somber she became. Regret and doubt were already starting to set in; what had she done?! It had been amazing, but... But there was such a conflict inside Molly, her feelings and mind battling for dominance. It was infuriating, and she didn't know how to act. What was she supposed to do now?

𝑴𝓸𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝑯𝓪𝓻𝓽𝒆𝓵𝓵




Location: The beach party, docks
Interacting With: Raven @Zaxter996
Text colour: #adff9f




Molly was relieved to only recieve understanding from Raven's side. It made her feel more at ease. Really, even with the Sam thing it had been just to blow off some steams. Especially school related, since that could get stressful. But they'd been besties, first and foremost. And that's why Molly was so hellbent on fixing their relationship after all this time. If Sam was up for it, of course.

Raven laughed at Molly's question, a mock offendedness to her tone. Molly grinned back in a "sorry but not really" sort of way, ruffling her curls that got all mixed up in the slight, warm evening breeze.
"The number though... Is it bad that it's taking me a bit to think about?" Raven asked with a giggle that made Molly scoff in amusement. "Let's see... Umm... Off the top of my head... 13? No! 14... I think..?" the girl counted thoughtfully, making Molly snicker.
"Show-off!" she shook her head in mock astonishment, leaning her body in sideways to bump Raven's shoulder. Molly's expression became troubled, however, when Raven continued.
"13. I'm fairly sure. 8 girls, 5 guys." Molly looked at her lap, thoughts causing an uproar in her head. 8 girls..? That should be a good thing, yes? Molly was happy, it wasn't that... it just made her realise how inexperienced she herself was. Would anyone as experienced in the area of girls ever go for someone like Molly, who had only ever done it with blokes? She had zero experience on how to flirt with a girl, let alone on how to turn them on. She might as well be a bloody virgin, that's how little she knew.
She wanted to, though. And she was sure she would be quick to learn. Molly just felt like she didn't have the opportunity to mess this one up. What this meant to her... it was infinitely more than any boy ever had. She wouldn't, nay, couldn't mess this up.
"Oh wow..." Molly whispered slowly, not in a judging tone, but not in an admiring one either. Her self-consciousness must've been shining through right then and there, something she was desperately trying to conceal.
And sure enough, as if Raven was reading Molly's thoughts, her next question was:
"Have you ever slept with a girl before?" The question Molly had been waiting for in anticipation... and with dread. A big ugly ball of mixed feelings and thoughts swirled inside Molly, and she felt a flutter in the bottom of her stomach, the kind you got just before giving a presentation or at the top of a roller coaster just moments before you plummeted into a valley.
Did she feel... embarrassed?
"...No," Molly admitted with a voice more sheepish she'd have liked, averting her eyes tactically. This bit right here felt like baring her soul, albeit indirectly, to the girl beside her. The answer in itself wasn't revealing anything, but the way she said it... it was sure to reveal that Molly thought she couldn't measure up to someone as experienced as Raven. "I've... I've actually slept with only 4 different guys I think, to answer my own question, but... never with a girl," Molly's answer faded into a thoughtful whisper, like the word last uttered was a precious one. It was. And honestly, Molly was more than anything a bit envious that Raven had had all of those beautiful experiences she wish she'd had by now.
Right after replying, Molly glanced at Raven, giving her a lopsided smile in an attempt to not seem that vulnerable. Not good enough, she decided, trying harder to look unaffected by the question.
"Almost took a sip at that one, not gonna lie. Your bedroom life has been much more impressive than mine," Molly joked. She wasn't one to judge, and she usually didn't. In fact, Molly usually encouraged people to practice healthy, consenting, and safe sexual relationships with one another. Her own score just was a bit lacking and lopsided compared to the girl beside her. It made her self-conscious, sure. Unsureness was what was eating Molly alive, plaguing her mind with dark thoughts. What if she was too inexperienced for someone such as Raven? What if she didn't know how to properly... satisfy another girl? Eww, gross, Molly. Don't go there, her mind scolded her. She wasn't even sure if she was ready to go there. She wanted to, but she hadn't even gotten to the first bloody base.
'But what if you suck at that too?'
No. She wouldn't think of that. That wasn't going to help her at all, no. She'd have to muster up courage to just... stand proud, chin up. Maybe some day.
"Biggest regret in life?" Molly asked then, almost urgent to change the subject. She wanted something else to think about, she didn't want to hear what Raven thought of her answer, certainly not what she'd hoped with that sweet flirty tone, Molly was sure... So she'd panicked and asked the first thing that sprung to her mind. A question which, ironically enough, was something that Molly herself could've answered with a full novel. Because regrets? Those she had plenty. Including her being such a fucking wuss that she couldn't help but dodge whenever Raven was making a clear move. She'd already been almost there onece, dammit. How hard could it be to let herself go there again?
At least their hands were still entwined, and that Molly wasn't going to willingly change.
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