Avatar of Ellri
  • Last Seen: 10 mos ago
  • Old Guild Username: Ellri
  • Joined: 10 yrs ago
  • Posts: 3731 (1.00 / day)
  • VMs: 5
  • Username history
    1. Ellri 10 yrs ago

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Recent Statuses

5 yrs ago
Current Peace is a Lie, there is only Passion. Through Passion, I gain Strength. Through Strength, I gain Power. Through Power, I gain Victory. Through Victory, My Chains are Broken. The Force Shall Free Me.
3 likes
5 yrs ago
"Never was, never will be."
6 yrs ago
We find that our favorite damage type is collateral.
6 yrs ago
We do not corrupt mortals. We teach them enlightened self-interest.
6 yrs ago
Peace is a lie. There is only passion (for cookies).
2 likes

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Most Recent Posts

How's the sheet coming along, @TrapsCanRP?

Do you need any help? Have you got any questions?
How's the sheet coming along, @BTDukes?

Do you need any help? Have you got any questions?
Right now @BabyBump96, the story leading up to her becoming a bounty hunter feels shallow and somewhat far-fetched. But it is more that it lacks detail and justifications than being completely illogical.

We would suggest you delve more into at least some of the following possibilities:
  • Expand the Trandoshan Bounty hunter into something more than a one-liner plot device for her getting gear and money.
    • Make it into multiple competitions in various fields, with fewer participants each time, eventually culminating into apprenticeship
    • Teach her about the importance of the Scorekeeper (Trandoshan deity of sorts)
    • figure out why a trandoshan would take on a softskin like her.
  • Make her have to work for things, give her issues and real challenges.
  • Give her failures in her life.
  • build up her relationship with family, both good and bad parts.
  • explore her culture more
  • find a reason for her becoming a bounty hunter. What led her offworld?
  • Are there any places she avoids? any places she enjoys?
  • Does she take all sorts of bounties, or just some?
  • What is her opinion on bounties that ask for the target alive?
  • What is her opinion on bounties that ask for the target dead?
  • What sort of gear does she prefer?
  • Any prominent bounties on her records?
  • Why doesn't she work for criminals/Jedi/Sith? any particular events that led to this?
  • How many of her hunts have been successes, failures and mixed successes?
  • How did her first kill feel?


We could add more, but these should give you a good pointer as to many of the things your sheet feels like it lacks. When you cover points from the above list, do so by altering the story elements and sections, not just as if answering a questionnaire.
Excellent, @ChaoticLaw.

Should you have any questions, feel free to ask us.

Remember:
Peace is a Lie.
Come to the Dark Side...

Search your feelings. You know the raw power of the Force calls to you.

Or, if you are less mystically inclined and prefer a nice, orderly society, the Empire is the place for you. Citizenship guarantees service.

Only missing a checkup from another GM before it is approved.
@Apollosarcher

Force techniques:

Could you, for quick checkups, also add a small section in here with the technique and skill level listed?
That’ll make things more convenient for GMs and players checking.
Right now, the very nice report format doesn’t make that particularly clear.


Knight Milo Nerel’s report

Don’t forget that quite a major portion of the Jedi library/archives are digital.


Knight Kuly Sol’s report

The Jedi Temple attack wasn’t public knowledge until a few days after. Well, the only reason much of any knew is that there was an open channel between Coruscant and Alderaan at the time of the attack, and at least one Jedi on Alderaan had a telepathic bond to one on Coruscant.

Shortly after the initial attack the holonet buoys around Coruscant were all terminated, effectively turning the capital into a blindspot on the holonet. Outside those aforementioned circles, nobody in the republic knew anything about Coruscant.

Oh, and they did take prisoners. (though some Jedi would say that the ones killed may have been the lucky ones)

How close was he with his master? Was it a master he had had ties with for a long time? The emotional bonds between master and apprentice only transmit so much even when at full strength. Scattered words, feelings, maybe the odd image, but not much in the way of whole or fully comprehensible events.


Coruscant Temple Log 1

Suggestion: replace “ins and outs of the politics” with “the nuances of the politics”


Coruscant Temple Log 2

Imperial’s → Imperials




The only thing left to ask for after this is the thing that is asked for from all who wish to play a Miraluka:
A sample of writing to prove that you understand how their Force Sight works.
Our recommendation? Not us.

We'd recommend a human being, but rumors say such beings may not truly exist. Besides, even if someone here on the guild should actually be a human, he, she or it cannot be verified as such in any case.
Alright, so gave it look over I'm fixing up grammar issues. As for why he has three Master's listed.

Master Vorlya Sisk is a very recent promotion to Master, I thought about listing her as a Knight still in some of the reports to have that come across but I was unsure if that would sound like I forgetting to keep her rank the same or if the intention would be clear.

Master Turus is a very elderly Master and one he reached the position very late in life through wisdom and understanding the force through meditation.

Master Sar Dan'ii was a Battlemaster and well-respected teacher on Coruscant who took in promising saber combatants as her student usually.

Seems like we may not have gotten across quite right what we intended to get across...
We've no problem with him having had multiple masters. If anything, it is likely in this time period for that to be the case, especially if the Jedi spent time in on the field of battle or anywhere else where Sith may have been encountered. The risk of death or serious injuries would naturally have been higher during the war than prior to it, both of which could lead to a padawan being reassigned.

Instead, what we wondered about is the unusual circumstance of his having been trained by three different Jedi Masters, yet not having a single report from regular Jedi Knights in his records. Note that there is a difference between a Padawan's master and a Jedi Master. The former means teacher and is an honorific, whereas the latter is a formal title and rank in the Order. (this is covered in more detail in the Jedi Master section of the Jedi Training and Life guide.)

In a time of war like this, not only do more Jedi die—not only among those who are mere padawans or knights, but also among the masters—but those who remain are even busier than they would have been prior to the war.

As for his survival of the battle of Coruscant, he and his master were believed dead at first. Airus was found when they moved to search the ruins of the temple in lower sections. They were not at the temple when the attack began instead were heading for the starport instead of returning to the temple they left it his Master believing it would fall.

He had and his master had survived in the initial attack, they retreated to the lower levels his Master wanted to organize survivors and strike back.

Before they could do anything a single Sith Lord who had pursued them dropped down. Airus's Master had already been wounded so he disobeyed her choosing to stand at her side rather than go try to find others. Airus was thrown aside into a pile of stone rubble, his master killed by this Sith while he lay injured and unable to move.

I was thinking the details of his survival would be something kept rather secret.

When a Sith believe an opponent dead, it is because the opponent has been dismantled or has had organs vital to survival permanently disabled, such as decapitation, spine (or body) severed above a certain point of the torso, and so forth. The Sith were intent upon wiping out any Jedi they could find on Coruscant and as such a key part of their assault involved isolating the Jedi Temple. To not be caught by the Sith surprise attack, any Jedi would have had to be far from the temple during the initial assault, or distant enough not not simply be killed by the bombardment.

As for their being pursued from the temple... A Sith Lord would not have pursued them alone. He or she would have brought a significant force of troopers and possibly multiple apprentices. When such Sith eventually caught up to the Jedi, the goal would have been capture or kill. Airus wouldn't merely have been left in a pile of rubble after being disabled. If salvagable, he would have been taken captive. If not judged worth taking captive, he would have been executed. Possibly in a very painful manner.

As for his age. Well, he joined the order at age two, served as initiate until twelve he was originally slated to has his promotion at twenty after the battle of Coruscant they delayed that and served further as a Padawan until age twenty-two under a different Master. So he served as Knight for six years currently.

Either way, I'm working on edits now. Hope this isn't too much.


Joining the Order at the age of two is perfectly normal. He'd probably have been an initiate until around 12-14, then a padawan until 18-22.
Since you picked him becoming a padawan at twelve years old, he'd have a normal but medium-long padawan period if he passed the trials at 22. You could use his not succeeding at all of them in the years leading up to this perhaps?

Born: 3675 (age 0)
Initiate: 3673 (age 2)
Padawan: 3663 (age 12)
Knight: 3653 (age 22) <-- This is also the year of the Sacking of Coruscant
Present day: 3647 (age 28)

as you can see, your bit above seems to indicate you thinking the sacking occurred two years earlier than it did.
a few questions:
If she is retired, what will make her interact with the more active PCs?

Where did she retire to? The empire? Outer parts of the Republic? One of the Core Worlds? An unaligned world? one of the worlds controlled by the hutts?

How does she feel about each of the major factions?
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