Frettzo
FetzenMemories & Confessions
The land below Eesis steadily changed as they neared the Prairie. Rocky terrain and forests gave way to long stretches of grasslands, golden and green, pocketed with forests and lakes. They even passed over a herd of Auroran Deer, their majestic halos a beacon in the grasses. With each flap of her wings, Eesis was fast approaching the golden sea beyond. The blue sky above began to beat down on them as it sank on the horizon, it was late day, and soon evening. But even from their height, the heat became uncomfortable and Lucia was forced to strip her long brown cloak in favor of her garments that she wore underneath. The wind felt divine upon her arms and she out stretched them in earnest letting the air cool her off.
She looked back at Sanya, who still held onto her like a pup. An adorable pup at that and said, "We're getting closer, won't be long before we enter the Prairie proper and then arrive at the Temple!"
The dark-haired warrior nodded at first, gazing out towards the east in the growing twilight. She'd had a good amount of time to grow used to flight, but still reacted to every shift from Lucia with silent distress. She also, Lucia had learned, preferred to lean forward rather than raise her voice too much. Brought out of her daze, Sanya looked at Lucia and slowly pushed her face forward in that same way, lips brought to her ear. "How long has it been for you?" she asked as peacefully as possible against the wind.
Sanya's voice sent a small shiver up her spine at first before she thought on what she asked. It made Lucia pause. How long had it been? Five years? Ten years? She knew druids traveled there to see her, she had even been happy to welcome them but surely they didn't think she'd always stay there? "Uh…" she began, "It's been a bit but not long enough where people I knew would all be dead. I hope. Well at least the ones I knew last time I was there."
That seemed to make Sanya smile, as guarded and faint as the crease in her lips might be. "You're a hard woman to forget, Lucia," she retorted with another close lean. "I think you're in for another heroes' welcome."
Lucia giggled at that. "Was it my tattoos that gave it away?" she mused before frowning slightly. "That might be true at first, but unlike the druids, the people of the Sunland have always treated me with respect and they don't snoop through my stuff either." she said, rolling her eyes. Still, there was part of her that was nervous. She really didn't want to deal with that again.
Sanya shifted her grip slowly to wrap her arms further around Lucia's stomach, shuffling up against Lucia's back firmly to half-rest her head against her shoulder and head. "I feel as if they acted anything like those druids, the Sunlands would've stopped existing long ago." she offered with some of her deadpan sass. "Could have built yourself an empire."
Lucia's heart beat a little faster at Sanya's touch. Even now she wasn't entirely used to it and it gave her stomach butterflies. To hide her flustered embarrassment she spoke quickly, "Me? A ruler?" she forced a laugh before coughing and saying, "I'd make a terrible ruler. As you know, I'm not very stern. And not really cut out for such a life, as you also saw." Besides the last time she held a position of authority… Well… The city fell. She pushed that thought from her mind and spun it back at Sanya. "Now you on the other hand, I could see it. Queen Sanya, Ruler of the Highlands. That could be fun."
There was a soft hum at first, Sanya musing over the words. "I'd be lying if I said I've never considered it, she eventually replied, a mellow levity to her tone. "I was a poor chieftess. Very poor. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better with all I've learned. Usually when someone with authority bothers me. Me and the Highlands though - I don't know if we're good for each other."
"Hmm. I feel you are too harsh on yourself Sanya. Wisdom comes with age so they say. Soooooo we should probably be really wise now huh?" Lucia laughed again, leaning her head on Sanya's as she took a deep breath. "This is nice, all the same." she sighed happily. She felt the gentle vibration as Sanya hummed another agreement.
"I'm not sure I'll get used to flying, but the view is gorgeous," Sanya replied and chuckled calmly.
"It sure is." Lucia agreed. "I wouldn't want to share it with anyone else." she followed, murmuring softly.
They had flown for long enough for the sun to begin dipping, a peaceful warmth cast over the landscape as more and more of the horizon crested with golden prairie in the distance beyond cliff and crag. Sanya had long since accepted the helplessness of her position, and found herself gently leaning into Lucia for support as she languidly watched the landscape shift under them. It was the best way to feel safe - even with the brief unsteadiness Eesis was prone to, Lucia was like a rock, and her breathing was calming. At this height, few emotions seemed to reach from below, and beside the occasional twinge of uncertainty, it was still, even in her head. If they hadn’t been able to fall to their death at the whim of a winged beast, Sanya could have stayed like this for a long time.
Not everything was meant to last, however. A black shape on the landscape below caught Sanya’s attention, and she shook out of her idle daze to focus on it further. It was smoke, a plume of it rising high into the sky from the ground below, and what looked like houses and fields. A village? "Lucia? Do you see that?” she muttered after a few moments, and lifted a hand from it’s wrap around Lucia’s stomach to point down towards the distant ground, and the plume of smoke.
Lucia turned her head, following Sanya's hand to where she pointed. "Yeah, I see it. Should we check it out?"
Sanya frowned to herself, eyeing the plume with building distaste. She’d seen enough fires in her life to know this was beyond the norm. "I think so. Could be trouble,” she intoned in turn, sighing quietly.
She felt a slight squeeze on her hand that was still wrapped around Lucia's waist. Lucia then yelled, "Eesis! Change of plans girl, take us to that plume of smoke please!" the Leoness moved her head in that direction and with a slight turn they were headed closer. The situation rapidly became clearer as the plume grew larger and larger. Soon they could see figures milling about from buildings - panic and disarray visible even from the air as Eesis rapidly closed the distance.
Sanya felt a growing twinge, confirming the suspicion. Anger, fear, panic, a dangerous mingle began to grow in the back of her head, like a ball of despair attaching itself like a warning. That mixture of feelings was one she had felt many times. She gripped her arm tighter around Lucia to hold on, and her other hand reached back over her shoulder to feel for her spear. "I’m dragging you into more conflict. But if there are innocents down there-... There’s enough suffering around.” Sanya proffered with a crisp voice, cutting herself off as she stared down at the growing village.
"It's alright Sanya. Innocents come first, we both know that. I'm going to put Eesis down and tell her to get to safety. Get ready." Lucia said to her, voice strong. "Eesis, take us down girl!" and their rapid descent began with the howling of the wind in their ears. Sanya nodded firmly behind Lucia, and freed Sorrowsting from it’s prison between her back and packing with a firm grip unfazed by the wind.
The plume of black smoke quickly became the main feature of the landscape, growing in size until the reason for its existence became apparent; a large longhouse of wood, hay and straw was alight in the midst of a sizable village, and the fire was spreading along both the ground and catching on a nearby shed, threatening to consume all if left unstopped. All about the village, silhouettes ran about in a panic. Some rushed to wells, others in and out of buildings. It was like watching ants from their vantage point of zooming down from above. The roar of fire replaced much of the howl of wind as they drew closer, and intermingled with the discordant cries from the ground. Panic, anger, despair. Sanya felt it clutch at her heart like a dagger plunged clean through her chest, and the sounds followed suit to make it clear how widespread it was. Only as the ground became a tangible presence rather than a painted landscape did it become apparent that the silhouettes were fighting amongst each other. Ragged men and women with sharp weapons chased others; women, children, men. A few were fighting back, but it was a battle to prolong the inevitable, by the looks of it. People were dragged screaming from their houses, or had their hiding place torn open to be assaulted. Chaos.
Eesis roared as they landed with a tremendous thud. Those who had not seen her descent amidst the smoke, now fell over backwards at her sheer size and majesty. Yet her sizeable presence only lasted seconds, before a scream sounded and the village erupted into chaos again. Lucia cursed under her breath. "I was hoping that would have worked!" she shouted, quickly sliding off of her fur and onto the ground. She turned back to Eesis and said, "Alright girl! Get out of here. Fly fly!" she raised her hands, trying to get the Leoness to leave. She let out a low growl, her eyes blinking slow before in a few beats of her wings, she flew off.
"We should evacuate the village centre and see if we can stop the spread of fire. Let’s tidy up these aggressors as we go.” Sanya offered crisply, drawing on a knowledge that felt innate by now, and tore two tied straps by her side, letting their packing fall to the ground. With Sorrowsting in hand, she moved towards the immediate conflict, and the smoke.
"Sanya!" Lucia shouted after her.
Sanya hesitated for a moment, about to peer over her shoulder to find Lucia, but a scream caught her attention instead. A terrified older woman burst out from a smaller hut clutching at her clothes, and out behind her chased a ragged-looking man with a crude axehead affixed to an equally crude club. It matched a repeating pattern that had been going on for centuries. Sanya knew it by heart, at this point. Acting on instinct was enough. She ran forward, spear hefted into a proper position. Let the roil of anguish and fear take over, and settle like a toxic growth to fuel her. The man turned to see her coming, and foolishly lifted his axe to swing at her. Sorrowsting sang as metal careened through the air, and the sharp twin blades at it’s tip slashed deep into the ragged attacker. He fell to the ground, and Sanya swiftly looked for the next cluster of trouble.
She caught sight of a trio barrelling their way up a small path to a larger hut, one of them carrying a crude torch, no more than twenty paces away. She had practiced for this. The Acadian Thrust would be of use after all. She hefted Sorrowsting in one hand, took a solid centering breath, and threw her arm forward with considerable force. The black spear hurled through the air with merciless speed. A mere moment later, the back of the one with the torch arched in surprise and pain, as the spear sank deep into their body. The other two found Sanya staring at them in the chaos, and turned on their path to come rushing back down towards her. One man, one woman. No armor. The man hesitated to put weight on his left leg as he ran. That was enough. Sanya flexed her fingers swiftly and aptly, listening to the droning buzz of hatred, fear and pain that stormed through her mind. Felt her body itch for combat, push for survival. They’d regret the day they assaulted innocent villagers.
A brown-haired, angry woman in crude warpaint came first, rushing straight at her with an axe held high. Too high. Sanya launched forwards with as much speed as she could, driving her elbow forward to smash into the woman’s upper torso. Just as she expected, it knocked the wind out of her. Unexpected however, was how much Sanya had underestimated her own strength, and she watched with brief bemusement as the ragged woman toppled back several feet and rolled wheezing onto the ground. It didn’t seem to dissuade her friend, who came hobbling at a quick pace with a simple wooden spear. Sanya narrowed her eyes and waited for him to make his move. No technique. No grace. No thought in his movements. When the spear came in for a frontal jab, it was simple to step aside and lay a hand on his roughly hewn weapon. She pulled with force, and jerked the man forwards against his will, before quickly sending a foot crashing towards the side of his left knee. His leg bent like a twig under pressure, and his scream and the snap told Sanya all she needed to know. She released his spear and let him fall to the ground, taking quick steps across the paths to recover Sorrowsting from the downed torchbearer.
From her new position, she surveyed the village as it burned. Screaming, smoke, flashes of fire, it intermingled with deep-seated anger, whirling panic, mania, and sorrow. It was always the same. Pain. Suffering. Death. Endless torment and self-destruction; that was humanity’s great destiny. It made her sick. Made it hard to keep the memories out. Teeth. Claws. Knives. Blood. Fire flashed in front of her face, and she cringed away from it, but just as soon it was gone, replaced by the ambient heat of the nearby longhouse laid ablaze. She looked at the bodies strewn about, innocent men and women cut down. Cut down like they were nothing. The droning of emotions blocked her thoughts, made it hard to think. She took a few quick steps to rush down the hill, eyeing the destruction. If she had come sooner, they would be alive. Someone always had to die. A curtain was pulled aside, and a man came running out. A stocky warrior, black soot in his face, with teeth strung around his neck. A surge of panic rippled through her, and she swung Sorrowsting violently, beheading the man before he had a chance to come any closer. What were Vaaku warriors doing here? She looked down at her defeated foe, but his features seemed to have changed. The soot was replaced by a murky beard. When were the Vaaku last seen, again? When was this? Was this a dream? Sanya had no more time to think as another set of warriors came rushing around a corner, chasing three villagers.
So she intervened, as she always had. Let the whine of her spear and the crashing waves of emotions guide her. It was rote, now. So many faces over the years. So many lives taken. They melded together. Images on images of faces, all twisted with rage and panic. Sorrowsting whirled through the air as she moved on her new targets. It was difficult to focus. Impossible to think. Just react. Let the emotions roil. She felt her eyes well up as she cut through one man’s staff, and blinked several times to see him topple back frightened on the ground. His comrade came at her from the side with a jagged club, and she blocked it easily with the center of her spear’s handle. The grinning Ketrefan captain leered at her, dragging his copper-embellished weapon against the handle, cornering her. She swept her spear down at his legs to ground him, and then quickly stepped forwards to stomp on his throat. He gurgled and wheezed, and with another blink the dying man turned ragged and unimportant. Where did the captain go? There was movement at her side, and she swept Sorrowsting swiftly, cutting the man down before he could stand back up.
Another scream cut through the haze, and Sanya redirected her gaze towards another hut in the distance. Angles of the buildings aligned in a strange way, and she remembered the village of Ansrache, images of slaughter and chaos forcing themselves back in haphazard flashes. Screaming. Fire. Blood. Dozens of dead, stacked in piles. Stakes, decorated with those she could not save. The images flickered in and out of reality, forcing themselves onto her eyes again and again. She gasped, clutching her spear and groaned. That was before. It was over. This was different. Wasn’t it? A yawning abyss grew in the back of her head, an endless rush of anger, sorrow, and fear.
Sanya struggled forwards all the same, following the bloodied dirt path towards the roaring flame at the center of the village, the direction of the scream - she was sure. The heat swiftly became unpleasant, and she released a hand to wipe sweat from her face. It came away drenched in crimson. Was she hurt? When did that happen? A crash of wood and a rustle from a smaller hovel on her right caught her attention, and she moved towards it with renewed suspicion. In the spaces between the roughshod boards, she saw movement. The curtain to the doorway had been turned down, and even from afar she saw the bodies of at least two unfortunate villagers.
The silhouette inside seemed to have noticed the movement outside, brisk movement flickered past the boards and then came to a sharp halt by the archway inside, poorly illuminated by the flames. She wouldn’t be snuck up on. Never again. Sanya watched the shape remain still for a few moments, before picking up her pace into a quick lunge towards the shoddy wall, driven by instinct. She swung her arm hard against the planks, and they snapped like sticks and twigs. A gasp from inside as her fingers found purchase around a collar. Sanya pulled, and tore the shape out through the broken wall, listening to the pulse of fury and fear in her head. The shape tumbled to the ground outside with a loud thump, raised its arms in defense. It was too late. Sorrowsting came down to end the threat before it became one. Only now did she see - it was a man. Well, no longer.
“Over here!” a voice belted at the top of their lungs somewhere behind her, and Sanya turned to face the sound - the brown-haired woman in warpaint from before. Sanya watched her with brief bewilderment. Did the dead rise? Did she forget her? It didn’t matter now. She hefted her spear up with both hands to face the woman, who took her time standing on the same hill that Sanya had climbed before. Two men came rushing along the side of the small incline, raising clubs and knives. A third man appeared beside the painted woman, clutching a spear shakily. Together, the four of them descended towards Sanya, weapons held defensively in front of them.
Sanya lifted her own guard, staring at the center of mass of the woman. As long as she kept them in front of her, she would do fine. Taking a deep breath, Sanya took a few steps to the side to clear her space, lifting Sorrowsting in preparation. She thought of nothing. There was nothing to think about. Just a haze. Adrenaline. Survival. Death.
The four broke formation and rushed at her with a chorus of yells. Sanya raised her weapon, and danced two steps forwards to meet them head-on.
”Sanya! Sanya!” A concerned voice rang out. With it came a surge of reality.
Sanya drew a shaky breath, blinking several times as the world and the burning village filled back in around her. Her arm strained under light pressure - at the end hung a woman in warpaint; bruised, bloodied, and helplessly kicking the air as she struggled against Sanya's vice grip around her throat. She seemed to have lost hold of Sorrowsting, and with it, her sense of time and place. She felt dull, tired. Worn. Empty. Much of the haze seemed to have lifted, the whirl of hate and pain moving on, or quieted. She stared at the woman fighting against her grip and frowned deeply. Sanya tightened her grip and lifted the warrior higher to the melody of her choking.
A hand fell upon her shoulder, another plea. ”Sanya! She’s beaten, stop! Please! Stop!” The voice cried out.
Her body stiffened under the touch, a reflexive urge to spin around and strike bubbling beneath the surface. Familiarity began to settle in, and memories returned from their exile. "L-... Lucia?" she offered quietly, then stared at the struggling warrior again. What was she doing? She lessened her grip and let the woman fall to the ground with a crash; she collapsed from exhaustion, clutching at her throat and breathing in a panic. Only then did the scene set in. Three warriors strewn about, lifeless among the rest of the carnage. Her spear was still stuck in one of them. Sanya clutched at the side of her head, fighting a resurging headache.
She felt Lucia wrap her arms around her in a comforting embrace. ”I’m here. I’m here.” she cooed. ”It’s over, no more fighting. You won.”
The words alone were enough to drain her of energy, replaced by a hollow fatigue. She wanted to simply stand there, melt into the arms of another and forget. With the end of battle came the same bitterness she'd fought for centuries. She kicked out towards the grounded warrior to focus her energy. "You. Take your life and leave." she murmured with a frown. The woman did not seem to need further coaxing, battling to stand on unsteady feet before starting limp away. Sanya in turn gingerly wrestled out of Lucia's embrace, and like clockwork moved to retrieve Sorrowsting, like a loyal dog fetching her stick. She eyed the destruction around them, the dead, and memories of the battle came to her in flashes, emotions. Hate. "The villagers…" she began in an unfinished question.
Lucia came up beside her. Her hair was a mess, her tattoo’s pulsed quickly, and her clothes were scratched and torn, caked in dry blood. ”Most are safe now. It was an attack from raiders, who have been run off.” she paused, gazing upon her. ”Are you okay, Sanya?” she asked.
Sanya drew a long and shaky breath. She hesitated to answer, her mind beset with guilt and despair. "It's… always like this. Wherever I go. Death. War. Humans are like a poison to each other, Lucia. We kill, hurt and defile each other. An endless cycle of pain." she replied with a bitter, unsteady tone. "This is all we are. What she wanted me to see. Fickle, petty ants who can't wait to kill each other."
"That's… That's not true." Lucia began. "There is good still, there always has been. You and I know this more than any one person. Sure, they can be bad and hurt one another, but they also have the capacity to help, to grow, to learn. Together and for each other. Please Sanya, you must see there is more to the death and pain. You have to." Her voice fell quiet.
Sanya gripped the handle of her weapon tightly with one hand, slowly turning her head to glance back at Lucia out of the corner of her eye. "Why?" she murmured sullenly. "Look around you. This is-... this is what they did to my home. Endless days, months and years, and there are still trolls. Still raiders. The only thing that's changed is that the weapons are sharper." she continued, turning to face her properly. She watched Lucia, frowning as she saw her expression. She knew how she sounded. Felt how her bitterness rose back to the surface. "Why did I think I could make a difference this time?"
"Because you're a good person Sanya!" Lucia exclaimed, stepping forward. "You want to help those who can't help themselves. You want to save people from cruelty and death. You want a better world, where people can live in peace and happiness. That's why you fight, that's why you've always fought." She breathed.
She felt the sting of anxious thought rise in the emptiness. Was it her own? Lucia's? Sanya exhaled sharply, and drew her gaze away from the tattooed woman. "A good person." she repeated quietly, gaze flitting across the battlefield. Slowly she lowered to a crouch, gripping the hair of one of the fallen with her free hand and lifting him up in grim display. "Do you think this man would agree? I had the power of a god in my hands, and I used it for murder. I still do. What if that was why I was punished? Because I'm a killer."
Lucia flinched at the sight but stood straighter. Her tattoos expanded in size and began to pulse quicker. "That man did not know you." she said, her hands balling into fists. "He was a person that preyed upon innocent lives and you killed him, yes. You killed him but that does not make you a murderer. You killed him, them, everyone before, in the name of protection. In the name of peace." Her hands relaxed and she looked around before gazing upon Sanya again, her expression one of sadness. "A murderer does not regret killing, Sanya. Do you?" She asked.
Sanya loosened her grip, letting the body fall back into the dirt with a thud. She stared at the ground, asking herself the question over and over in her head. "I… I don't know. How am I supposed to know, Lucia?" she asked with building distress. She stood back up and gestured to the carnage. "Maybe once, but these people mean nothing to me. I… they're just memories. Movements. Predictable patterns and scenes of gore that stopped s-scaring me a long time ago. People that look like people I know are dead. People I will never know. Half… half the time I don't even know where I am. When I am. It's-..." Sanya trailed off, unsure of what to say. Her hand moved to drag over her face, still caked with smears of blood. She took a long, shaky breath, her eyes raw as though she were on the verge of tears. A look long forgotten, welling up from the past. "Wherever I go. It's death. It's always death."
There came no reply from Lucia but within seconds two warm arms embraced Sanya. "It's okay. It's okay, Sanya. I know where you are. Right here, in my arms. It'll be okay." Lucia cooed.
Sanya stared off to the side at first, a shaky and uneasy breath rippling from her lips. She leaned into the embrace after a few seconds, head laid against Lucia. Silence reigned for a time, Sanya stuck deep in her own thoughts. Eventually, she came back up to the surface. "I'm so tired, Lucia. Everyone fades away. Like butterflies, gone after a season or two. Constant new faces. New names. New languages. I don't… I don't belong anymore."
Lucia's embrace tightened. "Then let's … Then let's run away." she said, tattoos pulsing faster.
"...Run away?" Sanya questioned quietly, watching the village beyond from her vantage point, captured in Lucia's embrace. She scoffed softly. "I've tried. How would this time be any different?"
"Because you didn't have me by your side." Lucia retorted with a small giggle. "I'm not going to leave you again, not unless you want me too." she paused, her heartbeat racing in Sanya's ears. Tattoos matching the rhythm. "Sanya… I love you." she let the words linger in the air before she exploded, "I've been such a fool for so long! You were always there by my side when I needed you and I never saw what was before me. I was too caught up with the past and what might be, to see what could be. I don't even know if you feel the same way but it's eating me up inside everytime I look at you. I-I-I just needed to get it off my chest. I don't even know if this is the right moment or if it's what you want to hear but I- I love you Sanya. So let's run away, just the two of us. Somewhere far from prying eyes and just live in peace and quiet. Away from violence and war. Please." she took a deep breath, hardly able to contain herself.
Sanya allowed silence to reign after Lucia’s confession, continuing to stare out over the village and the desolation around them from her sanctuary between tattooed arms. She listened to Lucia’s heart, pounding away in her ear. Felt a conspiring fear rising out of anxiety sting at the back of her mind. Sanya closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, leaning in against the dark-skinned woman a little more.
"Alright.”
