Hero

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Thorinn definitely wasn't Kazuki's favorite place, either, the humidity was terrible. Not that the heat in Iblenar was any better, but he preferred the dryness, at least. He watched Seele point out a few places, wondering if she knew the city better than he did, although she ended up admitting she didn't know why she was doing what she did. Truthfully, he never knew why she did anything she did, but he didn't mind it. He did agree with her preferences, although before he could reply, she stopped them.

He waited for Seele, deciding he may as well go over his assets. He couldn't access the menu anymore but he knew he had money all over the place, with the bulk of it in Iblenar. He had asked Robin to look over his house there, too, but would the rest of his places still be there if he went to the other city states? Someone could just as easily break into his homes without him ever knowing, and while he didn't have anything of value (aside from the pianos) he didn't know if they would be readily available. Not to mention if the sadist decided to throw on property taxes into the Cycle of Pain then the city was likely to also just seize it from him. Going forward he was just going to assume the world was going to bring every single pain in the ass the real world had, it'd just be easier for him that way.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he let out a sigh, albeit he straightened up as Seele returned. He had assumed she was going to get another witch's hat, but she returned with something else. His mouth formed a small 'o' of surprise as she opened it. An umbrella? Or was it technically a parasol? Either way she seemed pleased with her purchase and they were able to continue on their way.

Picking up where they left off, Kazuki nodded in response. Maybe she was from somewhere that didn't get a lot of sun. Her skin was pretty fair, so that was the assumption he would go with. "Maybe you could enhance it and use it as a weapon," He noted, pretending to swing something. Now that was a comical sight, imagining Seele thwacking someone with a flimsy umbrella only to send them flying.

But he would continue as they walked. "No, I didn't start here, I started in Iblenar and my pathos is Queon," He decided to explain. "Once I got comfortable with the game I traveled a lot, ended up buying a place in every major city-state since it was cheaper than always staying at an inn and more convenient to store whatever I ended up crafting. I'd usually just wait for Benkei to call on me whenever he wanted to adventure, but otherwise I spent my time performing, crafting, and accompanying a friend who usually joined me for traveling."

He hoped Robin's trip was going well, even though he couldn't have gone too far it would be a few days before he would likely hear from him. But he was talking too much about himself, he wanted to know more about her. "What pathos are you aligned with?" He asked.

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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“Because I want to.”

Kazuki couldn't help but stare long and hard at Seele, eyes searching her face for...something. He didn't really know what, but he just found it so incredibly difficult to believe. Why would she want to waste her time on him? He couldn't really wrap his head around it, and even without the situation at hand, he couldn't understand. At least he could understand his brother helping him, because he would do the same for him. But he and Seele were strangers. They didn't owe each other anything. And yet she just wanted to help. For some reason that humbled him a touch, if only because he was convinced there was a better use of her time and effort.

But it felt nice.

Finally, he tore his gaze away, a hand on his forehead as he tried to make sense of anything she said. It was a little rude that she thought he was broken, but he supposed all his moping around would give that impression. Whatever issues he had he needed to take care of on his own, though. He wasn't going to accept any help for that. More importantly, if he was going to do right by the group, then they needed to get going.

Even if it was reluctant, Kazuki ended up following Seele's gesture, looking down at her with wary eyes, "I would rather leave the pastry for last so we don't have to carry it around. It'll probably end up melting by the time we finished everything, so it's better to do that later," He informed her, looking forward as he thought to himself for a second. "We should take care of your errand first and then go to the guild hall. The heat here is tough for people who aren't used to it."

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Was it the right thing? Kazuki was wholly unsure and didn't think it was a good idea, but he supposed if he was going to be staying in Thorinn for a while he needed to get used to the idea of seeing the members of the guild. But if he tensed up seeing Sif in the tavern, what was he supposed to do when he saw more of them? What was he supposed to say to Priscilica? To Leaves? To Luci? No, there was nothing in this world or the other that could make him face her.

As he looked down at Seele, however, he found it hard to say no. Was he really so easily kowtowed by someone he could probably outrun? He didn't have any real reason to not follow her advice, but he was still plenty wary of her. Admittedly most of that was due to stealing his pastry, but she knew how to get him to do things a little too easily. It didn't feel manipulative, at least, her alternatives seeming genuine. She wasn't being overly sweet or trying to get him to do something for her. But then that begged the question:

"Why are you trying so hard to help me?" Kazuki suddenly asked. "You should be telling me to get over myself but you're going out of your way to accommodate my cowardice."

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Seele really was naïve if she didn't think that was a possibility. Of course, Kazuki would rather have her nearby in case it really did come down to blows, thought enough to slow down his stride a little. Unfortunately he was just as vulnerable in this world as he was in the real world, though at least there he could take a beating from regular people--Graves was about twice his width and had the strength to beat him senseless. Or as previously demonstrated in the dungeon, he could actually kill him. Graves could very well kill Kazuki. This was not something he had previously considered and did not help his steadily increasing anxiety. What a stupid emotion.

Now that he thought about it, however, Seele's words really did ring true. This entire time Kazuki had operated on the grounds that they were all equal, but the truth of the matter was that they were far from it. Anyone that had chosen to go the tank or DPS route had the advantage if they relied on brute force to get what they wanted, whereas the casters and healers were at a disadvantage. Not to mention someone like Seele who didn't have any offensive capabilities. The thought was enough to make his blood run cold and he had to hold back a groan. No wonder Graves had told him he was a hypocrite, he was useless even compared to Kalie considering she was a DPS, and even a bad DPS was better than a squishy healer.

At the mention of Priscilica, however, every other thought was tossed aside as he felt a weird pain in his stomach. No, it was in his chest. No, his throat. No, it was everywhere, he couldn't pinpoint it, but the urge to lose his lunch compounded with the feeling and his stride definitely slowed down. The one thing he knew was that he definitely shouldn't show his face at the guild hall. What if Luci was there? What if they were all there discussing his failure? That thought alone was enough to make him stop in his tracks, breathing suddenly becoming a hassle.

He couldn't do it. His legs stopped of their own accord and no matter what he tried to do, he couldn't move. Was he dying? Was this more anxiety? Twenty four hours in this world and he was already crippled by something he scarcely felt. It was pathetic, but it was increasingly infuriating to fight. Years of shutting down his emotions and now he was a mess. Pathetic.

"Are you sure that's where he is?" Kazuki asked, his voice a little quieter than usual. "I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable."

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Seele couldn't have been that naïve. Kazuki had probably been the least friendly out of their little crew. Not to mention friendship had never been a goal of his; what mattered right now was survival. This was beginning to make him wonder why this felt like more of a headache than anything else he had encountered, but any situation consisting of multiple people did tend to give him more trouble than he wanted. Robin's offer looked more and more appealing--at least he could burrow himself in his home there and never have to deal with anyone until he rode out all this. But if he went, he had a sneaking suspicion this girl would protest. Or worse, she'd follow him and convince Hammer not to let him in since he already had an obligation.

He supposed the flexibility thing was less of a hassle, even if it wasn't his favorite solution. He did raise an eyebrow at skeptic--he was being practical, why could no one understand that?--but didn't comment on it. Well, he didn't have a choice. If he was going to put his money where his mouth was, then he needed to follow Seele's advice. He had faith in all but one but if they were going to insist on bringing that girl along then he didn't really have a choice. The decision was made for him.

"Mhm. You're right about most of that, I suppose," He said, beckoning her to follow. "Let's go find Graves, then. If I get punched in the face, you can try to calm him down."

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A Hero's Training!

Locales

Fujioka Senior High
Classroom [whatever our class is]
Gym
Clubrooms [insert clubs]
Student Councilroom
Guidance Counselor Office
Outdoor Court

Coffee Shop KENT
-description
Kotone's Family Inn
- owned by dis girls fam?
Local shopping center
- list
Okubiwake Grand Park Hotel
- chain?
Kaizu Osaki
- A scenic penninsula with a multitude of cherry trees. Has a playground that attracts children and is a popular spot for families.
Lake Biwa
- The largest freshwater lake in the Shiga Prefecture and known for its abundant fish population. Many like to visit when the migratory birds come and go.
Makino Sunny Beach Chinaihama Camping Ground
-camping ground idk
Sakuraba Community
- A cluster of luxurious holiday homes with its owners coming from all over Japan. Most houses are unoccupied but tended to by hired help to ensure they're ready for their owners to return during their breaks.
Makino Pic-Land
-Farmlands located on the west where you can enjoy picking seasonal fruit. These include early summer cherries, rare for Kansai fruit parks, along with blueberries, grapes, chestnuts, sweet potatoes and apples. They also have a shop that sells handmade gelato and souvenirs for the tourists that explore outside of the resort.
Mr. Pumpkin Makino
- A pachinko parlor where time is spent gambling. Despite its cheery name, the building looks depressing outside, with some stating that it's rare to win at any games within.
Makino Kogen Ski Resort
-Makino's most popular tourist trap and the reason it's on the map at all. A primary reason for the rich to come spend their free time here, it's credited for the community of holiday homes collected in the Sakuraba Community.
Manufacturing Plant
-ask for brand
Makino Station
-A small train station that takes people to other towns. Despite its size, the town has made sure to maintain it as the ski resort tends to attract outsiders.

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Kazuki's gaze lingered on the now-empty plate, a childish thought popping in his head as he held back the urge to pout. There were four pieces, did she really have to eat three of them? She was a guest, yes, but it was usually agreed upon that when sharing treats it was always best to be fair with it. He had initially bought it this morning as a sort of comfort food and had originally planned to eat it later, but he didn't have much to offer once they got here, and green tea was always best eaten with sweets. In hindsight, he should have only served half of it--at least that way he would've been able to still have half when Seele decided to be greedy and set an example.

Still, Seele had a point, even if he lamented the loss of the treat. At the end of the day it didn't matter how he felt or what he said as the one and only goal of his was to survive. If that meant swallowing his pride despite his firm belief that he's right and resisting the urge to say 'I told you so' if one of them died due to that girl, then he supposed so long as it didn't personally affect him or Kazuma he might be able to deal with it. His original point of 'strength in numbers' rang true, and unfortunately that meant beggars couldn't be choosers.

Once he finished his tea, he placed the cup down and muttered a small thanks before giving Seele his full attention once again. "It makes sense," He finally replied, standing up and taking the empty plates and kettle in hand. "I guess the next step is finding Graves, then. If I can get him to be agreeable, then the rest are likely to follow."

He left them in the sink for the moment, returning to Seele. Then again, Graves had left because he thought the group was a time bomb. He stared at Seele for a moment, his mind working on something before he finally let out a sigh. He couldn't believe he was referring so much to her--she was dangerous. Was she a therapist? Maybe a counselor? It wasn't until now that he noticed how much he had opened up, or at least as much as someone like him could manage. Well, at least she wasn't annoying about it.

"But if an apology didn't work, then what counts as 'making things right'?" He ended up asking, giving her a half-shrug. "I'm still firm in my belief and there isn't much that'll change my mind. I also explained the reason behind my logic and it got him even angrier."

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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The man couldn’t help but stare at Seele for a moment, a little surprised. No, a lot surprised. It wasn’t the reaction he expected, that much was for sure. He took a sip of his tea as he deliberated on how to respond. It wasn’t often that he was left speechless, but then again, it wasn’t often that he was willing to converse with anyone for more than five minutes. In her defense, she had definitely warned him, so this was on him.

Kazuki stared at Seele for a second before deciding to bite. “I don’t have any skill in Divination,” He told her, eyebrows furrowed. “So I’m not sure what you mean.”

For what it was worth, she appeared not to have expected his response either. She covered her mouth to smile, then shook her head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t try to be funny, I’m dreadful at it. What I meant was, I don’t think things have gone as badly as you think they have.”

That was where he disagreed, shaking his head as he looked down at his cup. “All I could do last night was go over my kit and think of all the different things I could have done. Could Aaginim have lived if I had made a different decision? In the heat of the moment you can only act, there isn’t time to deliberate. The demon made quick work of them--and would have likely done the same to us if it hadn’t been for the rest of the group giving it everything they had.”

The levity seemed to leave her, just a bit, and her smile weakened with sympathy. “You make it sound like you weren’t even there.”

“I may as well have not been. It didn’t make a difference,” Kazuki let out a surprisingly bitter remark, his free hand running over his face. He could feel his heart racing as he gripped the cup, something deep in his chest wanting to come out. “The DPS as well as you and Sif finished the demon. We wouldn’t have won if it hadn’t been for all of you.”

“Kazuki,” Seele said, and it seemed as though there were a lot of words there on the tip of her tongue. But she went quiet for a moment, eyes distant with thought, and then she looked at him again. “People are allowed to make mistakes.”

Kazuki stared at Seele in disbelief, slowly shaking his head before putting the cup down. “No, I’m not--” He stopped himself, pinching the bridge of his nose as he recovered. She was dangerously close to something he wasn’t ready to admit, but there wasn’t any running from this conversation. Would opening up and getting everything out now be for the better? Just the thought alone was enough to make him withdraw into himself.

“That isn’t true anymore,” He finally spoke, exhaling a huff of exasperation. “Mistakes get people killed, we learned that the hard way. We have to be smart about who we associate with and who we can rely on, because all it takes is the wrong person doing the wrong thing and then it’s all over.”

She nodded, folded her hands in her lap. “That’s a high standard, Kazuki,” she said quietly. “Do you think you meet it?”

The disbelief was plain on Kazuki’s face, the normally muted expressions giving way to shock. It was a fair question to ask after all--did he meet the same standards he expected out of people? There wasn’t a time in his life that he didn’t constantly ask himself the same thing. The hypocrisy was astounding and above all it was shameful. By the time he finally tore his gaze away, the silence had already replied for him.

“I have to meet it,” He said. “I can’t fail.”

She was silent again, but her eyes never left him. Her hands came up onto the table, she seemed almost to be in prayer. Moments passed, or minutes, before she spoke.

“You’re sinking, Kazuki,” she said softly. “You’ve tied yourself to an anchor and you’re trying to swim, but the longer you hold onto it, the deeper you’re going to go. I said people are allowed to make mistakes. What I should have said was that they need to make them. You can fail. You are going to fail. What matters is what you do after. If you run from failure, if you run from responsibility, then you don’t learn anything. Right now, our friends need us to learn from our mistakes, not hide from them.”

Was that what she thought? Seele was wrong, he wasn’t sinking, there was no anchor, there was a world whose rules had changed and screwed him over at the worst time and it had cost them lives. Did she want him to let more people die? He hadn’t even been around to watch Enos’ death and every time he closed his eyes he could see the poor guy’s lifeless body, his last and only mistake resulted in Aaginim dying in front of his fiance!

Taking in a breath, he didn’t realize how shaky he had become, deciding to look Seele straight on. “When we first went into the room, I broke from the group and went for Priscilica because...” He slowly admitted, finding it hard to actually admit out loud, but it needed to be said. “I thought it was better to save the people we could than to waste resources on someone who clearly would never make it. Had I gone to Aaginim first, he might have lived. You can’t tell me I have to make mistakes, because my mistakes mean people die. Aaginim is dead because I made the wrong decision, because I failed. And that’s unacceptable no matter how you try to look at this. Don’t tell me I can fail, because I can’t. The stakes are too high for it to be any other way.”

She waited until he had finished, didn’t flinch or anger, didn’t fight his eyes. “We could be having this same conversation about Priscilica right now. But she’s alive—would you tell her you should have left her defenseless? Sure, maybe the demon would have left her alone, maybe, if you hadn’t gone to Luci’s side, it would have turned on her instead. In every one of these worlds, is it your fault?”

The answer was on the tip of his tongue, but saying it out loud felt like he was justifying Seele’s pseudo analysis. He perched his chin on his hands, elbows propped up on his knees as he stared down at the table. The previous exhaustion he had was catching up with him again, but even if he managed to work his way out of the conversation and throw himself into bed, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep.

“I don’t know. All I do know is that Aaginim is dead,” He finally responded. “And that much, no matter how I try to look at it, is my fault. I failed him and Luci. And there’s no changing that.”

“Fair enough.” Seele said. “I don’t agree with you, but maybe it’s not my place to push you so hard to agree with me. Instead, I’m just going to ask that you don’t…” she paused, whatever she meant to say dying there on her lips. “Don’t give up. If you’re going to take the blame, accept the responsibility. People need us now, our friends, even strangers, and the fact is that even if we try and fail, it’s better than not trying at all.”

Kazuki took a hold of his cup again as he leaned back into his seat, drinking to buy himself a little time. That was what he kept telling himself, but he supposed it was easier to let himself drown than to fight. He had accepted that Luci would never forgive him, was there really more to be done than that?

But speaking of trying and failing, there was one thing that definitely applied to. “I don’t think anyone else will be as convinced. I’m not sure they’d forgive what I said,” He sighed. Why didn’t he just keep his thoughts to himself?

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Kazuki definitely agreed with Seele's last sentence. He could also disagree with a lot of what she said--it was definitely more dangerous for a young lady to be alone. He didn't know why he mistook her for the quiet type, an odd discomfort bubbling up as he continued the walk to his home. Had he been too quick to assume she would be someone safe to be around? She was coming from a place of concern and hadn't done anything to prove otherwise, but it still made him uneasy. No, he shouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. At the very least she came to him to get the truth unfiltered, so he couldn't really turn her away without making himself look worse. Not that the truth would be doing him any favors but he supposed it was easier to get things over with.

He only stopped once they were at the door to his small home, digging around his pockets for his keys before unlocking it. The miniscule kitchen looked like it had been shoved into the right corner closest to the door as an after thought, the entrance bearing a rug and a makeshift rack that held a pair of boots already there. A set of stairs lead to the sole bedroom, its door seen from even where they were. The rest of the home was plainly decorated, with a couch and chair placed around a coffee table and a small dining table with a pair of chairs close to the kitchen. At the far corner was a pair of doors and a piano whose quality far exceeded any other piece of furniture. It was homely, but noticeably spotless.

Slipping out of his shoes, he placed them respectfully on the rack before placing his bag on the coffee table. He gestured for Seele to have a seat, wandering into the kitchen and rummaging through the cabinets until he pulled out a kettle and a pair of cups. It had been a while since he had played the part of host, but he supposed he could put something together quickly. The hearth wasn't lit, but it roared back to life after a few snaps of the spark stones Kazuki clashed together. Pulling out a jug filled with water, he poured some into the kettle and placed it on the metal hanging over the fire. After pulling out a slice of what looked like a strawberry pastry from a pantry box, he carefully sliced it into four parts.

Even though he worked in silence, it wasn't uncomfortable. He was clearly focused on the task at hand, fingers working on the leaves in the cup before plucking the kettle from the hearth and pouring the water over it. No tray, but he brought everything by hand, placing a cup and plate of sweets before Seele and only taking a seat after he had his own cup in hand.

"I'll be upfront about what happened: it was my fault," Kazuki decided to get that much out of the way. "It's telling to talk about unity one moment and immediately speak of excluding someone in the next. I won't deny it, I thought solely in my own interest. Graves called me out on it and things escalated. Having trust in others isn't my strong suit and I let my bias get the best of me, resulting in the group...fracturing." Not that he thought they were together or anything, but that was what he figured.

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Kazuki was tired.

The obvious answer was that he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep combined, but he felt like his very soul was weighing him down. Maybe he should look into Buddhism, having no earthly attachments sounded really good right now. The air was sticky and his stupid robe was starting to cling to him. He needed a bath. And a proper change of clothes. He was sure he probably had one of his beginner outfits somewhere in the house. A bath, some food, then he'd let himself collapse into bed and let his thoughts overwhelm him as his emotionally stunted self refused to let him cope healthily. Actually, he could use that time to study the texts he had bought.

It was exceedingly difficult not to think about the fiasco in the tavern, but for once, he didn't linger. No matter how many times he replayed the scenario in his head, it would have ended the same way. He would admit in hindsight that he probably looked like a hypocrite--all his talk of banding together and then turning around and wanting to exclude someone wasn't the smartest idea he had. He shouldn't have brought it up right away; any trust he had gained was definitely gone. He probably wouldn't get another chance, either.

Oh well, he could always take up Robin's offer and go to Iblenar. It actually wasn't the worst idea now that he thought about it. He and Hammer could pool together their wealth and hole up for a long while. He could throw himself into crafting completely and perform in his spare time. He didn't think they'd have any issue if he brought along Kazuma, either. They could always teach him to craft, too, Kazuma was smart enough that he would learn, he was sure of it.

The sound of Seele's voice had surprised him, though hearing that Kazuma had also left didn't. As tempted as he was to take her up on her offer, he couldn't help but let out a heavy sigh. He was headed home anyway, he may as well keep going. "Benkei just needs time to cool off. He'll be fine," Kazuki finally replied, giving Seele a weary look. "I don't understand why you're here. Did you get the full story, or did you come running after me without thinking?"

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