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“Thank you, I certainly appreciate a captive audience. I’ll make sure that you stay for long enough to forget everything else,” Elizabeth said, to the Valkyrie that had just parried her attack. Thankfully that was just a nuisance for the draconic-themed Lancer, since she followed up with a tail strike to keep the hooded girl at bay and another series of quick stabs aimed with an almost surgical precision to inflict more debilitating pain than damage to the her opponent as an attempt to possibly capture her alive while relieving Elizabeth’s more… sadistic side.

Back at the other side of the the battlefield, Atalanta kept on her struggles to either convince Lancer to stop, or put an end to her.

“Lancer, I know you can hear me! This is not the enemy you are supposed to be fighting. If you don’t stop, I’ll have to,” Atalanta said once more, trying to get through the Lancer while her claws reached for the other Servant’s throat, ready to crush it if she had to.

However, she couldn’t foresee what would happen in a moment.

Atalanta was unable to dodge some of the the icy projectiles in time, getting stuck as they impaled one of her legs, freezing her place. The ice wall that rose as soon as the gigantic wolf hauled Lancer away from her made it impossible even for Atalanta to shoot them down. The only thing that the Berserker could do was yell Lancer’s name as she raked at the ice, trying to get herself free.

@KoL

I apologize for the similarities. The character is part of another MHA that never got off the ground so I'd like to give him a try.

1. If accepted: There shouldn't be an issue though if the powers are different enough. Mine is jet engine turbine in his arms. It might even be a great rivalry point for the characters.

2. If the GM brings it up: I have another concept in mind that I could put in instead of my turbine character.

Just letting you know if its too much trouble to design a new character, especially if you really wanted to try them.


No problem.
@ERode

I'm a bit busy today. I'll try to send a reworked CS tomorrow.

I'm also studying other possibilities for a character (especially since someone else mentioned wind based Quirks) so maybe I'll send a new character instead of the one I have PMed before. I'll decide as soon as I get back to writing.
“There you go!” Luna was kicked off the air just as these words were about to leave her lips. She didn’t have much time to react to the sudden attack n any way other than brace herself for the impact.

When she came back to herself again, Luna was covered in dirty and feeling like she had broken something, or some things in the fall.

“Pfft!” she spit some bloodied soil before flashing a witty grin and saying, “Hitting a girl in the face is a way to start a relationship with the left foot. Don’t you think, Miss Detention Club President?”

Luna got back to her feet and wiped the dirty off her face before answering the question the other girl asked. “If that’s how you think, it just shows how far you have gone down the path of ‘Evil’. As long as we keep ‘Justice’ in our hearts, we will always find a way to persevere and overcome any obstacles,” she said, lowering her stance, before she lunged at Touka with a blindingly fast sword stab with her right hand, followed by a reverse roundhouse kick with her left leg as she adjusted her footwork for a more close and intimate fight than usual.
Meanwhile, Chie tried to reel Yui closer to herself before the other girl’s newly-formed vines snared against her nets, creating a wibbly wobbly tangly mess. “That’s the problem with you guys. You always ask the wrong questions. It’s not a matter of being equal or different,” Chie said before making a short pause.

“It’s a matter of... being hungry or not,” When her voice came back, it wasn’t from the other side of the barrier as Yui would expect, but instead from right behind her. In fact, Chie’s nets disappeared before the Yui would have a chance to cut through them, only to be replaced with Chie herself hugging her from behind.

“And you, smell like you would be a pretty nice midnight snack, Honeypot,” Chie whispered in a vicious tone, licking one Yui’s ear slowly before nibbling it.

This is interesting.
@TheHangedMan

Let's see, where should I begin?

- You need to specify if there's a default mode for your character's D. Arm of if she gets to choose which ability she wants right when she activates it.

- That magic is too powerful based on the way it's written. That along with the power of her weapon makes it so that she can be the uncontested winner of any battle she ever comes across since the things that she can destroy instantly are what would be the normal attacks of pretty much every other magical girl in the story. As a suggestion, make it so that she can't do anything to magic and specially other characters' weapons.

- Also, regarding her backstory and sample post. What exactly makes her a light magical girl? From what I can see she's motivated only by violence and the will to fight others regardless of context. That's a behavior that would have led her down the path of corruption almost instantly. Unless you rewrite her in a more appropriate way, she'll have to be branded as a dark magical girl.

That's what I have seen for the moment. I'll take a better look once you have addressed these points.
@TheHangedMan

I'll take a proper look at this character later tonight or tomorrow.
“I’m sorry, but that ain’t gonna happen! I know this city with the back of my hand,” Luna replied to Kanbaru’s taunt as Yui’s roots shielded her from the blue-haired girl’s counter.

“Come on, think of this as a trust-building exercise. We can’t be partners of we don’t know each other as well as we know ourselves, right?” She said to Soma, flashing a big grin towards the other girl right when Yui’s spell opened a way for her follow-up move. “Talking about this, have you ever been part of a softball team?” Luna asked as she crouched in a position that resembled a sprinter ready for a short distance dash.

“Find the biggest empty space you can; when I give you the sign, swing as hard as you can, towards the hardest thing that you can see,” she said before leaping upwards in a blur of speed, using the platform provided by Yui to increase her already considerable mobility.

“Form Six, Movements Two and Four: KYOUKA… SUIGETSU!” Luna shouted as she ascended, drawing her blade and using them to reflect the moonlight in a blinding flash that was considerably more intense than it should be and following it with three more kicks aimed at Kanbaru. It was almost as if gravity was a mere suggestion to the sword-wielding blonde as she turned the speed she built into power.

If all of three attacks connected, Luna would finish her assault by kicking Kanbaru towards Soma and shouting for the other girl to follow their plan from earlier. However, if Luna’s momentum was broken by any means, she would have to abort the move, probably taking a hard fall as a payment for her failed stunt.

Meanwhile, at a vending machine not very far from there.

“Goddamn, I didn’t think that there would be this many at once. I guess that I can’t just sit down and let Miss Frosty blow up some steam like this,” Chie cursed as the fight quickly turned against them, with the light magical girls ganking Kanbaru like a posse of bloodthirsty kittens.

“Heads up, Butterfree!” the dark-haired girl yelled right after shooting volley of three dark daggers at Yui, who was the only straggler of the light magical girl group. As soon as they reached an arm’s reach away from the flying magical girl, each of the three blades would burst in a net of dark strands connected to Chie’s spear.

If she succeeded in snaring the other girl, Chie would first bring her to the ground before following up with lunge aimed at Yui’s wings. If she missed, well… there’s more than one trick up her sleeve in case this happened.

@TheHangedMan

They are magical girls that get corrupted by the influence of negative emotions. For this reason they can draw energy from the nightmares they kill in order to empower themselves.
@1Charak2

I believe that she's alright. Just wait for @TheWindel's word.
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