Avatar of Master Bruce

Status

User has no status, yet

Bio

Very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.

There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it.

Most Recent Posts

Yeah, weird how @Sep just assumes Bruce and the others died all because Iris definitely bit it.

Feels like some projection's going on there...
Seeing my Batman cameo in that post is surreal as hell. He even managed to get a Batwing in time to fight Darkseid. Feel like a proud papa.

I was waiting on Master Bruce for a response before posting, but looks like it's gonna have to do.


Whoops. Slipped my mind to respond to that part of your message.

Yeah, I have no plans for that character whatsoever. Go nuts.

Oh, shit. Peter and Wally should absolutely be best friends.

Or the bitterest of rivals. There's no in-between.
I'm not saying that I finally posted as Spidey again because @Lord Wraith gave me compliments...

But it didn't hurt.
(Spider-Man Post #3 will be up this week. Got kinda stuck for a bit but I'm back into the swing of it.)
One word titles?

Staying on theme, aren't we...
© 2007-2026
BBCode Cheatsheet