@Mao Mao Hillan and I discussed your sheet and both agreed that while the final concept - Sychan Tribal forcibly conscripted into the Wardens - is a great angle, we find the backstory a bit messy. To me personally, with the added context of the PMs, it feels like you approached me with a core concept, and then layered on top every suggestion I made in order to sort it for the game, and then you could play the original character regardless.
For instance, you came to me asking about hybrids, whereupon I suggested animal reverence, and then you've had your character and their tribe mistaken for hybrids in-universe anyway. Your backstory also feels contradictory at times; born as an orphan into the Wardens but brought up with knowledge of the tribe's culture anyway - the Elders (Khemrin elders?) being discovered but not punished - the original tribe approaching the Wardens for assimilation, but being first-generation Wardens?
We both agree that the core pillars of the character are great. Sychan Tribal, separate from Eerum? Great. Ex-Warden, blacklisted and exiled? Great. Rediscovered cultural heritage of animal worship, bringing a forgotten rival to the dominant religion of the Barbed Church? Great. All of these thrown into a cooking pot together without really straightening them out together, making the biography feel like your initial ideas with my PM suggestions layered haphazardly on top? Not so great.
There's a final-product-Gil here that's an excellent tribal making his way back into the world to save what remains of his lost culture, but it needs a bit of sanding and polish to make him really shine and clarify who he is and what he's striving for. Some streamlining would go a long way.
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