Vera-Li S'vrone understood it.
It was as intuitive to her as it would have been counter-intuitive for most of the galaxy. Even to the hearts that were attuned to it there was but pings of sound, distant notes of wonder in which they fascinated upon and meditated upon. This was the Force as they understood it. The longer that a Jedi meditated and reflected upon each sound and note, the better they might come to understand it. One day, many years from now, they might even be able to master it. The very foundational logic in which the entire Jedi Order had been constructed upon over the generations.
It just wasn't always true. What Vera-Li heard when she closed her eyes and opened her heart to the very primordial energies of the universe she heard sounds and notes too. The difference was almost beyond comprehension. Whereas a Jedi Master might hear a distinct sound, prehaps even close, Vera-Li heard many sounds and more. She heard each note played pricely, struck with cosmic precision so that it sang loud and endless into the void of all creation. One note was struck after another, then another, at times simultaneously. Each echoed with the ones before it, until just a moment's meditation upon the Force became a symphony of universal sound playing any time she but slowed her mind and listened.
That she could sense Master Catsai approach was comparable to saying she could see the dim lighting recessed in the polished pale stone ceiling of the tower temple chamber that was occupied by Vera-Li, and had been since she was first graduated to the rank of Padawan at the age of thirteen standard years. There were a few wooden chests tucked carefully under the large bed that had found it's way into her room by a simple requisitions mistake by the temple Quartermaster Corps. Funny how Vera-Li always managed to have the right kind of sweet fruit that the Quartermasters that cared for her tower always favored. Allow the Force to guide you, and you can never go wrong.
That was the advice the old Holocron gave her. That was the advice she took to heart as a Youngling. It hadn't failed her yet, and didn't especially when she had wished for a larger bed aloud to one of the Quartermasters. She'd already been sneaking them treats for years by that point. Always asking about them, always caring, always being courteous. Some in the Order called her spoiled, most just seemed to agree she was maybe the most agreeable and sweet natured Jedi in the Order.
She sensed her Master from across the Temple, where the Knights were housed. Battle Meditation had come to her from the Sense school of the Force. More specifically telepathy. It was as natural to Vera-Li as breathing. She sensed her Master in her sleep at this point. Respect and her own integrity had kept Vera-Li from going any further than the sensation of presence, and the flares of emotion that licked off Catsai's Force presence like solar flares off a hot star.
When Catsai entered the room, the meditating Padawan floating with crossed legs and hands calmly pressed palms together before her simply but noticably tilted her head to her left--the direction from which her Master entered the room. Even untethered and allowing her mind to float like her body ended up doing in the physical realm she was still hardwired to Catsai. It explained the tiny frown that resulted in the corners of her pale pink lips, still wet from the protective gloss she had applied before entering into meditation. It wasn't enough to her that while most Padawans were trying to follow small floating droids around the Temple, and she was following her Master with laser precision every moment of the day.
Not while Master Catsai felt like this
. Moments after Catsai walked in did Vera-Li ground herself, her big green eyes opened, and she stood from the ground in a single fluid motion before approaching the small fireplace framed in the center of the half circle shaped room and the tea kettle. The tea was too hot to do more than take a tiny little test sip. The tea was half as hot as Master Catsai's Force presence.
It was a different kind of heat than usual. Then the news came from Catsai's lips.
"You're upset, Master," words that came like faint murmurs, yet words that would not have been more clearly heard had Vera-Li screamed them instead. Pale pink lips came together as they blew on the cup of Orzan rose tea. Once as she stared at the tea, once as her eyes lifted and stared into Catsai's eyes. It always made her smile, staring into Catsai's eyes. Even hot as her Master was, there was no helping that hint of a smile from playing at the corners of her mouth. The only way she stopped the smile was taking a full sip of the hot tea, before passing it on to Catsai. "Please, my Master, drink."
She sat directly next to Catsai, kneeling beside her before coming to sit on the legs folded beneath her. Catsai smelled of the halls of the Temple, of the places where Knights lingered and spoke quickly in otherwise Temple corridors and vaults. Vera-Li's eyes never left Catsai's now, green eyes smoldering in the dim lighting of the tower chamber, flickering light and shadow from the fire in the small fireplace looming over her face as she focused on Catsai.
Trying to read while keeping herself half-blind. Vera-Li thought she saw, even half-blinded, and the image it brought to her only brought sadness to her voice.
"They made you leave because of me, again."
Vera-Li's head jerked. Away from Catsai. Away from the sight of her. What erupted in the Padawan was emotion, and could only obscure her connection to the Force. Worst of all was the source of the silent and unseen emotional outburst: attachment to Catsai. Vera-Li was anything but impulsive and random. The words that followed were well thought out. She had even practiced saying them before, so she wouldn't mess them up. "I could petition a change in Master. The Council would be inclined to grant any request I gave them, especially in this matter. My holding you back from where you need to be is detrimental to your path in the Force. They would see the wisdom in that."
She nodded after she finished speaking, as if she was adding a level of certainty to her words. As if just saying the words hadn't made her feel nauseated. Emotion would be ignored. This was doing what was best for all, and especially for Catsai, who had never been anything less than an amazing Master to her. Despite the heat, despite the unspoken--and that had to be this. That had to be the feeling that Vera-Li was holding her back.
No more, the Padawan was certain. No more
, she promised herself.