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    1. stardust 7 yrs ago

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7 yrs ago
Current ...well then have a nap. THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES
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Bio

Just a humble born Canadian, who has been roleplaying and writing for over 15 years, looking to scratch the creative itch and write glorious sci-fi stories of war and peace!

Not much more to say here, really. I suppose I could fill it in with all sorts of info, but who really reads these?

Most Recent Posts

In the land before time, Littlefoot's mom, depressingly enough, died. But he had memes so all was well. Until Megatron laser cannoned the fire nation, destroying many cabbages and causing Littlefoot to become a powerful earth bender after Cera was brutally flung across the ocean. "By the power of Greyskull," the flaming homosexual wombat exclaimed, as he slipped and fell, only to be caught by a hopeless romantic trying to figure out the meaning of extraterrestrial existence in bed. Then he realized that without cheese, he could not feed his grandmother so he bought some power metal, pure cheesy goodness. However, Littlefoot was a metalbender, meaning the power metal could be bent, which would be glorious for Fire Nation. So Littlefoot challenged Megatron to a fist fight aboard the ship shaped like a cabbage. "Help me, Obi-wan!" Megatron cried, heard by a crimson eagle living in your basement furnace. Littlefoot tried to defeat Megatron by singing sweet nothings and tempting him with bacon, which was remarkably effective.

"Littlefoot," Megatron blushes, his metal lips stuck with bits of bacon while dipping some Szechuan sauce, "I surrender to your superior, the legendary Obi-wan Kenobi and his Mighty Morphing Power Rangers." Littlefoot laughed triumphantly and then said, "I am your father." Reaching out, he took Megatron's PC and downloaded Windows 10.

And then Nestor Makhno appeared.

"This! Is! Sparta!" Makhno bellowed, before stroking his mustache excitedly.

"If you say so, kid." Littlefoot replied, teleporting behind him before placing his hands on his shoulders to warmly embrace Megatron. Makhno, meanwhile, welcomed them both by performing an RKO outta nowhere. Littlefoot was stunned, but Megatron was impressed by his outstanding skillset.

"So tell me," said the man in the mirror, now twirling his hair

"No" Littlefoot unholstered his gat and immediately opened fire on his little toes by accident. Thus proving that a good set of fingers was required when you have little toes.

Makhno declared, "We must go bowling at Barney's Bowl-O-Rama. Now."

Littlefoot agreed, so they left. With all the haste of a coursing river.

Once there, Makhno spotted the Red Army. "Do you cheeki breeki, сука?"

The Red Army fired at the man in the mirror. Megatron saw this and laughed. A Tank rolled up and Makhno cried, "TANKIES!" in alarm. An Missile landed about eight inches, detonating Megatron's mechanical wiener. He needed a replacement right wiener, for two wasn't enough. The mission impossible theme started playing, and everyone started dancing the chicken dance. When winter did not come after dancing, the conga line to a white walker banquet was formed. In the end, many things applauded the Red Army & Makhno for taking a joke. Megatron cried, "EW MUST ESCAPES HERE FASTLY". But in the end, it returned to random dancing again. Optimus Prime punched Megatron in his pair of tits. Darkness rapidly approached the two, and consumes them, transporting them as Littlefoot committed Seppuku honorably. Until a Angel tried to play Sonic R on Playstation. The Spirit of Littlefoot went to bukake party. Utilizing a new semen body, he breaks the ice by using an ancient, mystical technique. That destroys the world as Megatron's new wiener launched to space reignited the passion of love before exploding on everyone's faces. Sephiroth arrived on the scene with an oversized magnifying glass, triggering mutation in Megatron's hand and making it go limp, which made him a polar bear with chronic depression. Sephiroth magnified the sun and it made the horse with huge tits.

Then SCP-682 arrived and caused the 2nd coming of Yami Yugi, King of games. Seto Kaiba dueled Yugi to a game of Truth or Duel. The answer was obvious they dueled at sunset in the mysterious shadow realm. The Endless Darkness had other ways to turn a man into a girl by shitting them out of it's mouth. It had never realized how orgasmic this could feel, it wanted to cause a anal fissure inside of Cera's pet cat. So it decided to grind unicorns and some dank memes to booty tap dat pussy ass. But then Littlefoot's soul desired sushi rolls, so he opened a portal. Staring back through it was the Decepticon fleet; they immediately dropped this, sick, beat! Cuz nearby, the Beastie Boys were really kickin it old school.

"Sing we must not!", said Yoga, twin brother of Yoda.

Yugi and the Beastie Boys decided to play hopscotch and all died of pulmonary embolisms. But then the unthinkable happened. Half-Life 3 was released, and this of course meant that Gabe Newell became the new doctor, with complimentary companion included. As Elon Musk charged his electric nipple clamps, he fantasised about Gabe Newell in a sexy nightgown in a self driving automobile.

"Ohh Gaben" swooned Elon, with much drool as he continued eating Littlefoot's computer. Yoga & Yoda drove to South Dakota, where Boba & Mona Lisa went to a water park and swam with the pixies.

George Lucas just sat alone, getting smashed with Darth Vader. But then, suddenly, a new Pokemon was found by the Dark Side of the Force
It would certainly alleviate having to stand in a packed elevator!

How about the ability to gain muscle mass and become all fit and strong by shitposting in online forums.
Granted; however as humanity destroyed itself sometime before the 22nd century due to my last wish adjusting Earth's orbit, you basically learn nothing. Good job.

I wish to be a 25th century physicist.
It would certainly add expression to someone who is otherwise deadpan all the time.

The ability to heal any wound, be it physical, mental, emotional.
If it's anything like the crap that used to play in my mind ALL THE TIME, your wish is granted. So sick of hearing Bieber and Bruno Mars...

Trance is much more soothing.

Anyways, I wish it were never winter.
Granted; your roommate is replaced with a bear who sleeps for 160 hours of the week. Of course, whenever he wakes up, he is ravenously hungry and unpleasant to deal with.

I wish my head wasn't a hammer.
Make that TWO people looking for commissions!
Granted; you're now immune to small arms fire. Nothing gets in. However, nothing gets out either, and you eventually suffocate on carbon dioxide.

I wish this damn download finished faster.
In the land before time, Littlefoot's mom, depressingly enough, died. But he had memes so all was well. Until Megatron laser cannoned the fire nation, destroying many cabbages and causing Littlefoot to become a powerful earth bender after Cera was brutally flung across the ocean. "By the power of Greyskull," the flaming homosexual wombat exclaimed, as he slipped and fell, only to be caught by a hopeless romantic trying to figure out the meaning of extraterrestrial existence in bed. Then he realized that without cheese, he could not feed his grandmother so he bought some power metal, pure cheesy goodness. However, Littlefoot was a metalbender, meaning the power metal could be bent, which would be glorious for Fire Nation. So Littlefoot challenged Megatron to a fist fight aboard the ship shaped like a cabbage. "Help me, Obi-wan!" Megatron cried, heard by a crimson eagle living in your basement furnace. Littlefoot tried to defeat Megatron by singing sweet nothings and tempting him with bacon, which was remarkably effective.

"Littlefoot," Megatron blushes, his metal lips stuck with bits of bacon while dipping some Szechuan sauce, "I surrender to your superior, the legendary Obi-wan Kenobi and his Mighty Morphing Power Rangers." Littlefoot laughed triumphantly and then said, "I am your father." Reaching out, he took Megatron's PC and downloaded Windows 10.

And then Nestor Makhno appeared.

"This! Is! Sparta!" Makhno bellowed, before stroking his mustache excitedly.

"If you say so, kid." Littlefoot replied, teleporting behind him before placing his hands on his shoulders to warmly embrace Megatron. Makhno, meanwhile, welcomed them both by performing an RKO outta nowhere. Littlefoot was stunned, but Megatron was impressed by his outstanding skillset.

"So tell me," said the man in the mirror, now twirling his hair

"No" Littlefoot unholstered his gat and immediately opened fire on his little toes by accident. Thus proving that a good set of fingers was required when you have little toes.

Makhno declared, "We must go bowling at Barney's Bowl-O-Rama. Now."

Littlefoot agreed, so they left. With all the haste of a coursing river.

Once there, Makhno spotted the Red Army. "Do you cheeki breeki, сука?"

The Red Army fired at the man in the mirror. Megatron saw this and laughed. A Tank rolled up and Makhno cried, "TANKIES!" in alarm. An Missile landed about eight inches, detonating Megatron's mechanical wiener. He needed a replacement right wiener, for two wasn't enough. The mission impossible theme started playing, and everyone started dancing the chicken dance. When winter did not come after dancing, the conga line to a white walker banquet was formed. In the end, many things applauded the Red Army & Makhno for taking a joke. Megatron cried, "EW MUST ESCAPES HERE FASTLY". But in the end, it returned to random dancing again. Optimus Prime punched Megatron in his pair of tits. Darkness rapidly approached the two, and consumes them, transporting them as Littlefoot committed Seppuku honorably. Until a Angel tried to play Sonic R on Playstation. The Spirit of Littlefoot went to bukake party. Utilizing a new semen body, he breaks the ice by using an ancient, mystical technique. That destroys the world as Megatron's new wiener launched to space reignited the passion of love before exploding on everyone's faces. Sephiroth arrived on the scene with an oversized magnifying glass, triggering mutation in Megatron's hand and making it go limp, which made him a polar bear with chronic depression. Sephiroth magnified the sun and it made the horse with huge tits.

Then SCP-682 arrived and caused the 2nd coming of Yami Yugi, King of games. Seto Kaiba dueled Yugi to a game of Truth or Duel. The answer was obvious they dueled at sunset in the mysterious shadow realm. The Endless Darkness had other ways to turn a man into a girl by shitting them out of it's mouth. It had never realized how orgasmic this could feel, it wanted to cause a anal fissure inside of Cera's pet cat. So it decided to grind unicorns and some dank memes to booty tap dat pussy ass. But then Littlefoot's soul desired sushi rolls, so he opened a portal. Staring back through it was the Decepticon fleet; they immediately dropped this, sick, beat! Cuz nearby, the Beastie Boys were really kickin it old school.

"Sing we must not!", said Yoga, twin brother of Yoda.

Yugi and the Beastie Boys decided to play hopscotch and all died of pulmonary embolisms. But then the unthinkable happened. Half-Life 3 was released, and this of course meant that Gabe Newell became the new doctor, with complimentary companion included. As Elon Musk charged his electric nipple clamps, he fantasised about Gabe Newell in a sexy nightgown in a self driving automobile.

"Ohh Gaben" swooned Elon, with much drool as he continued eating Littlefoot's computer. Yoga & Yoda drove to South Dakota, where Boba & Mona Lisa went to a water park and swam with the pixies.
Granted; a six-ton disc made of copper falls from the sky and crushes your house.

I wish I felt better.
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