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3 yrs ago
Current Just to inform all my partners I will be taking a short break whilst I move home. Responses and replies will return once I am settled.
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4 yrs ago
How do you write like you're running out of time? Write day and night like you're running out of time? (This darn song is stuck in my head T.T)
3 likes
4 yrs ago
Welp, now to wait for the next patch of FFXIV ;A;
1 like
5 yrs ago
Expect delays with replies as FFXIV Shadowbringers has come out <3
2 likes

Bio

Suki
April 22nd
England/GMT time

If you have an questions or ideas please feel free to get in touch! I also work full time so sometimes my responses can be sporadic.

If I'm not on here writing I will most certainly be playing video games or sucked into a new world reading.

Most Recent Posts

Bump~
Iris couldn’t tell you how long it had been as all the days merged into one and Ethan had not been kind to her like she thought he might after having agreed to go with him to save Cas from harm. All the promises he had made had been lies and she wasn’t surprised, but she had hoped for some slither of redemption from the crazed ex-boyfriend that had ruined her life. The only thing that was getting her through the days was the fact Cas was safe and surrounded by people who loved him and who would look after him which was something she couldn’t do. It was safer for her to be here, but Ethan had certainly drained the happiness from her within hours.

Ethan often liked to remind her that she was lucky to be back with him, that she was lucky to have her life, but it wasn’t any sort of quality with everything Ethan had put her through since returning. Maisie hadn’t been allowed to see her, but she knew her friend had argued with Ethan over it because she had heard the voices downstairs. According to Ethan she was in a state and not well enough to see anyone which was utter lies, but she didn’t dare shout out because the last time she had done that Ethan had punished her. Apparently, he still loved her, but it didn’t stop him from harming her.

All she had to do was keep going until there was a chance for her to escape her new prison in life. If she could even find the motivation to do so anymore as each day just ate away at what little life she had left, and it wouldn’t matter if anything did happen to her as it wasn’t like she was important to the world.

Bruises littered her pale skin and small cuts could be seen scattered all over, but no one had physically seen her because Ethan kept her all to himself. The room he had locked her inside was the room right next to his and every night he would make a stop by to ask if she had reconsidered getting back with him and each night the answer had been the same, for him to get lost and that was politely putting it and her answer always earned her one meal the next day if she was lucky and she was blessed if it was more than just stale bread.

Isolation really hadn’t been kind to her and even though there had been more social interactions being back in the districts each day locked inside a room was a consistent nightmare for her. All she could hope for was to fade away, but she knew Ethan wouldn’t allow it and as she thought about the deranged ex of hers, she could hear the footsteps of him approaching her room. Gearing herself up for a fight as she heard the click of the lock Iris folded her arms watching the doorway intently.

“It’s been weeks now Iris, surely you’re over pretty boy now?” Ethan cooed as he walked inside confident as ever, a smug smile threatening to break through because he was really happy about something. “If you reconsider, we could think about celebrating, you must be hungry right?”

"No."

“Cold shoulder as always… I don’t get it. I’ve given you plenty of options to be free of here, you’re the one that’s keeping yourself locked up b-“

“By what? By refusing to date you?” Iris snapped not letting him finish his sentence because every option he had given her whether it was freedom, food or even seeing her best friend all resulted in one thing for him.

“Well. I didn’t want it to come to this.” Ethans voice dropped slightly as he edged forward walking towards Iris as he reached out his hand and cupped her cheek only to catch her flinching out the corner of his eye when he raised his hand. Tightening his grip, he watched her close her eyes waiting for the inevitable hit but for once he didn’t. “Seeing as you’re given me nothing and my wonderful friends managed to do something exciting, I’m going to give you one last chance. Now are we going to return to being my girlfriend?”

“No.”

“What was that? I couldn’t quite hea…”

“NO!”

Angered by the answer Ethans grip on her face turned vice like and within seconds he forcefully threw her to the floor as he pulled out his phone. Grinning to himself he snapped a photo of Iris who was in a heap on the floor looking worse for wear before he knelt down to her showing her the photo. “You see. I now have Princes charmings phone number and I may just have to send him how pitiful you look with a few demands.”
“Ethan…”

“And here I thought you had forgotten me.” Ethan fake pouted as he looked Iris up and down with his one working eye, “I must say I am impressed you made the decision to return to us. I thought you’d be living up the high life with your fairy-tale ending.”

“What fairy-tale ending Ethan? The one where I become Queen and live happily ever after?” Curling her hand into a fist knowing that this man was every bit insane, and no words would hurt him, and she doubted she could even get a good hit on him without him catching it and punishing her for even trying.

“There it is, that sense of humour I dearly missed from you.” Clapping his hands slowly, patronising her in every sense because he had won. Ultimately, she had returned home to him, to the run-down districts to save that new King that had barely grown up yet. Deep down he knew it was mainly because of Maisie and the need to save Caspian because for some reason she had felt guilt for sticking to the original plan of liberating the districts. “It’s adorable you’d even think that there could have been a happily ever after between you two. As if a King would marry a poor girl from the districts. Maybe if you were a simple commoner, but you are the daughter of the rebellion. You nearly ended the monarchy.”

“I didn’t! That… I don’t think like that.” Sighing heavily as she glanced down to the floor shaking her head to herself because no one would understand it, Ethan was just here to remind her of everything she lost. Questioning herself for a split second to why she had even returned here, but she knew it was better for his safety. Even if Ethan hadn’t threatened her to come back home Jacob had found out, she’d very well be in prison or thrown back here without a say in it because he didn’t think she was good enough for Cas. Another truth she hated but knew deep down it was right. “How did you even know I was here?”

“I have eyes everywhere and when someone told me there had been movement here, I knew you’d returned. I thought I’d save you the trouble in having to find to me.” Grinning to himself rather proudly, the rebellion may be small now, but he still had loyal and faithful people working round the clock to aid in their cause. “I thought I’d give you a choice of following willingly, or if you’d prefer me to drag you to our new base kicking and screaming that can be arranged.” After all he wasn’t planning on letting Iris out of his sight, not when she was about to become a key player in his plan.

“Is Maisie there?” Iris asked tentatively wanting to know her friend was safe, that he hadn’t done anything to her. Watching his movements and the nod of his head to her question she exhaled softly relieved to know that Maisie was okay. “I don’t plan on fighting. There’s no point.” Dejected without the will to bother Iris knew she’d just follow him back to whatever base it was. Go along with whatever he wanted because it would make her life easier out here.

“Good choice.” Smirking to himself as he outstretched his hand to Iris waiting for her to take it, to agree to follow because he had won. In his mind he had won the fight already and sure he had to put the plan into motion but the new King wouldn’t stand a chance.
Each creak of the floorboards beneath her feet made her cringe, the sounds this house made where new to her. Once upon a time she wouldn’t have batted an eyelid walking down to the basement and hearing the old groans of the house, but now it felt different. Having been gone for so long from this house it no longer felt like a home, it felt like a damp old shed that would fall down at a small breeze. Touching a place on the wall feeling for the light switch she wasn’t surprised that when she turned it on there was no light, of course there would be no electric to the place no one had paid the bills. Maybe she should have asked Jacob for so money to disappear, it would have at least brought her some light and warmth for a few days before having to face someone she didn’t want too.

Feeling around on the shelf just below the switch her hands clasped around a small box which was filled with matches inside, not too far from the box was a candle which she wasted no time in lighting to give her a bit of light down in the basement. Clasping the candle close she ventured down further into the basement only to wrinkle her nose and frown at the stench that came from it. Grimacing as she finally reached the bottom, she could see in the dim light the makeshift cell they had made. The blood stains that surrounded the floors and walls and it looked like nothing had changed.

“What would have happened had I not agreed to that stupid plan? Would I still be dating a man who isn’t stable? Would my father also be alive?” Talking to herself as she paced through the small basement eyes sweeping over each mark and each stain that she could see, empty glasses of water. Bowls of food that where so far gone to saving and if she looked close enough she was sure there were flies buzzing around, but coupled with the smell she wasn’t surprised.

“I would never have met him I guess, was it worth it? Those few moments of happiness compared to the amount of damage I have caused?” Iris found herself frowning to herself feeling conflicted over it all, worried that the choices she made weren’t the right ones in any sort of way. Had she not have ruined the plan by falling prey to a bear trap she’d never have gotten to know Cas, in fact she’d have probably been rotting away in a cell for a failed assassination attempt.

Feeling a chill run through the room she rubbed her arms trying to warm herself up, turning her back on the room it was time she got some rest. At least she could get some rest in before facing him, perhaps some sleep would do her good and it would be a start at getting accustomed to life back in the districts. Climbing the staircase back to the living room she blew out the candle as she reached the top thankful for the fleeting natural light that seeped through the windows.

Walking through the kitchen she knew there was no way there’d be anything salvageable in terms of food, that was purely a wish that wouldn’t come true. Regardless she would need to sort that out if she did plan to make it back out here, lost in her own train of thought at how best to get started.

“Well, well, well… I didn’t expect you to be back so soon. You must have missed me.”

Hearing that voice, that dreaded voice was something she didn’t expect, out of shock the candle fell from her hands clattering against the floor as she felt her anxiety rise. Iris knew where the voice had come from, but she didn’t dare to turn and face him. Not yet.

Bump~
Stay safe? You really don’t understand the districts. Iris thought to herself as she caught Jacobs last words, hearing the car begin to pull away leaving her very much alone back in a place that she had once called home. It wasn’t a home anymore, but there was nothing else she could return too. Thinking about it she knew it was depressing, returning to nothing but then she didn’t have anything in the Capital either. There was just one person that she had to take care of her, and she had left him, but this was so she could protect him, and she had to remind herself that this was for the better.

The walk back to the home she once knew wasn’t too long and she had remembered the way at least, it was strange to think that this was muscle memory of hers at play. Thinking on it Iris hadn’t actually thought about the fact she had lost most of her memories and they were all starting to come back. There were still things she couldn’t fully remember, but she at least knew who she was again, and the old memories didn’t seem like a big deal when she had all these new ones to think about.

Sighing to herself as she continued to walk on, she soon reached her final destination, a tattered broken-down old home. Paint still peeling on the old woodwork, some of it looked broken as if it had been ransacked whilst she had been away. Standing in front of the door that was wide open she couldn’t help but feel how eerie this place had become, how empty it now was because no one would come by here unless they had reason too. Touching the old panelling of her home she took a step inside hearing the creak of the old floorboards beneath the weight of her feet.

“Who am I kidding, I can’t do this.” Iris whispered to herself as she shook her head stopping in the doorway of the living room, the old chair that he used to sit in sat in the middle. Old bottles scattered across the floor and there was a smell to her home that she couldn’t stand anymore, but it looked like the place had been raided and maybe that had been when they took her father and hauled him back to the Capital. When they had killed him. Feeling her hand drop from the side of the doorway as her eyes swept the empty living room mentally counting just how many bottles of alcohol were laying about.

Taking her first step inside she heard a crunch of glass beneath her feet, and she saw a photo frame shattered, the photo beneath it torn, worn and discoloured in places having been hit by the sun rays too much. Kneeling down Iris picked up the photo frame brushing away the shards of glass careful not to hurt herself. Seeing the photo, it was an old family photo of hers, when she was a child and still had both parents looking so happy, even in the districts she still had a shred of happiness, but it was all gone. Dropping the photo frame back to the floor with a soft thud Iris glanced towards the kitchen knowing the stairs to the basement where there, the place they had kept Cas in a makeshift cell.

Biting her lip and against all better judgement Iris wanted to see the basement, the cell that had held Cas captive. Where it had all started, where it had been her fault. She needed to see it to remind herself that this was the right thing she was doing.
Watching as the scenery vastly changed, she knew they were going further from Aspiria and its luxurious homes and wealthy borders. A pang of guilt hit her because this was what she had been fighting for, this was what her father had been fighting for before his ideals became more twisted. These run-down homes that housed poor families, children that knew nothing of what could be but still dreamed of better. It was hard to see again especially when she had been away from it for so long, but that was the beauty of the Capital it hid the truth just past the borders.

Knowing that Cas would be okay was some sort of relief, but it didn’t escape the truth of these districts. Nodding to herself as he answered her question, she wondered how long it would take for Cas to get over his feelings for her. Had she now ruined any future relationships of his? He was a King after all, he needed to marry because he would need an heir for the Kingdom. The marriage would have to be beneficial for the Country right? It was all common sense, and she knew that.

“I guess so.” Iris commented on the fact she was doing the right thing, looking back out of the window knowing where she was because it wasn’t too far from her home. It surprised her that he had taken her this far as she never expected it, in fact she had been thinking just how to get back all the way here quickly without the need of assistance. “This is… further than I thought you’d take me. I know where I am. Thank you.” Shuffling about in the seat as she undid the seatbelt and turned to leave the car but stopped her exit when she heard him once more.

Glancing back to see the outstretched hand she smiled slightly giving it a firm shake, “I severely hope not Jacob. If our paths cross again then something has gone wrong and neither of us want that for him.” Pulling her hand back before she clambered out of the car her heart already racing, “Thank you again Jacob.” Giving a subtle nod as she shut the car door and waisted no time slipping away into the darkness to make her way back to her broken home. This was where Ethan was there already, or it would be eerily quiet, and she would have to face the demons of that house.

Not glancing back at the car or the life she left behind Iris moved in the direction of her home, the pit in her stomach rising because she wasn’t sure if she was ready to face any of this. Now she was truly alone, there would be no Cas to talk to at the end of the day and she would have to deal with Ethan. Rubbing her arm as she walked each step filled with dread as it brought her closer to home, a place she didn’t really think of as a home anymore.
Iris didn’t feel the need to talk much, not when Jacob was handling it and knowing her, she’d say something stupid or do something worse for that matter which she was hoping to avoid. As the car began to slow, she could feel herself tensing up, an underlying feeling of worry bubbling away because what if this was about to go wrong. Or what if this had been Jacob’s plan all along? Get her to leave the hotel with the lie that he was going to take her to the districts, but then they’d get caught by security and she’d go to prison. He would be able to brush it off like he thought he could get them through when in reality it had been his plan all along to get her back to prison and Cas would be none the wiser.

Keeping her eyes on the road she didn’t dare turn to look at the security guard that had stopped them, without realising she began to hold her breath as she heard him talk with the guard. Apparently, they knew one another, and she tried not to pay any sort of attention or draw attention to herself in any sort of way.

Please, don’t be a lie. I can’t… I don’t want to go back to prison. It was too much.

Hearing him speak she couldn’t help but fidget in the car uncomfortable with it all, she wanted nothing more than to finally have this nightmare end and either be away from the Capital and the threat against Caspian all because she was there. Iris had to be away from it, Ethan could not harm him this way if she kept to her word.

Shifting about Iris tried to keep calm but internally she was freaking out waiting for the moment they’d both turn around and say she was going to prison and that she was under arrest. Of course, that moment never came and when Jacob promised to inform this friend of when he had time off, she let go of the fabric she had frayed between her fingers. Only when the car started moving did she exhale the breath she had been holding because finally they had past the gate and there was nothing else to really stop them. Iris was going to be free, well as free as she could having to now heed to Ethans call to keep the peace. It would be worth it though; Cas would be safe and well.

The silence by now had become too much and she couldn’t help but ask him a few things that had been on her mind, for reassurance if anything. “Cas… will be okay, won’t he?” Iris just wanted to know that he would be fine, that Jacob would take care of him and keep an eye out for the young King. There would be no way for her to know truly how he would be feeling, she could see the news reports of course to see what was happening but there’d be no way to truly know.
That’s good to hear it’s been a busy social calendar! It’s nice with things reopening and slowly returning to normal!

Haha yeah I can bet, I always find it difficult to go back into writing if I’ve taken a long break. Motivation just isn’t the same when it’s been a while you know? I’m glad to hear you are good though!
Hey no worries! As you know I'm pretty patient and content with waiting haha.

How have you been?
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