Recent Statuses

2 mos ago
Current If anyone has interest in mechs, tabletop games, and some ungodly mixture of the two, go give Lancer by Miguel Lopez and Tom Parkinson Morgan a shot. Its shocking how fun it is to play it.
1 like
5 mos ago
Sun Tzu once said: "If you or your loved ones have contracted mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation. Call the toll-free number on your screen now to see if you qualify."
2 yrs ago
Beating your meat is a waste of time, when you can beat evildoers instead.
1 like
2 yrs ago
If they just have horns then no. But if they're horny, they best watch out.
2 yrs ago
Horny people are not protected under the constitution, or the law.


No longer an asshole!

Most Recent Posts

This is the graveyard where my hopes and dreams wind up. Hope you brought flowers! Or at least some gas to pour on the trash heaps.
@The Irish Tree

Charlotte's enthusiasm quickly drained away, as the smile curled at her lips literally flipped over into a displeased frown. "...Wow, heroes like you are proof that God really does hate the world." she would say, more than willing to insult such a lackluster hero. What kind of crazy asshole could take a life so easily and so quickly, before even doing the proper tutorials!? Regardless, she would proceed to lift her arm up, before a massive fireball filled the entirety of the canopy above them, immediately incinerating the leaves above them and igniting the branches, the heat so intense that rather than starting a fire, it was more as if the treeline itself just withered, the wood turning to ash instantly.

"If it'll get you up to snuff, then sure! One Fireball coming right up!~" she would say as the heat colesced into her palm, compounding more and more until it was a tiny orb of light which she flicked from her index finger. [Fireball.] she would say...

And, for the next several hours, the wildfire would rage on. The livelihoods of dozens, if not hundreds of people in that sizeable hamlet went up in flames that day, as the Scarlet Terror's horns emerged from the fire. With hands drenched in blood, and flames spouting from behind her, the Demoness' visage was a sight to behold as she held up the charred body of Tristan, the hero that Humanity needed, but most definitely deserved a better hero in place of. Running terrified, the people fled, while Charlotte looked confused. "...Hey wait, we need a healer or something!" she would say, running after the fleeing mob, swinging around Tristan's burnt, but still mostly okay body.

Thus would the tale of villainy spread, of the rogue demon that had sought to assassinate the hero and the entire village of [Home Town] in a bid to plunge the world into darkness.

...But hey, Tristan was now level 2! And that's what REALLY matters.

Left running after villagers with a nearly bottomless well of stamina, Charlotte's flaming escape would no doubt catch C-3's and Valkira's attention. Namely that she was getting away, not only without them, but WITH the hero.


As the cat man would continue to assuage the rather terrifyingly angry Midboss, he would smell smoke nearby, before the sweltering pillar of heat would be visible, just before drool made of explosives would impact against his back, before he would leap between Valkira and the drool, taking the brunt of it as it detonated. Falling to the floor with a thud, the cat was definitely crispy after that, shuddering on the ground and his fur visibly burnt from the force, his fine, sterling plate shattered to pieces and covered in soot.

But, who cared about him, he didn't even have a name yet. C-3 would most certainly see her "bad influence" currently fleeing town, or rather, chasing those fleeing FROM town. And had the hero carried romantically in her arms, like he was a pretty, boring, charred princess of a man. Valkira may not care especially about the fire, but the fact that her quarry had been snatched away well might.
@Guess Who

Smirking, Charlotte was incredibly pleased with herself at having already sealed the deal with forming a party with the hero. Just when she thought all the legal tender was finished however, she would find herself face to face with yet another contract. "Eh? A harem? You really are getting ahead of yourself. I'd never fall for someone so...dull." she would say, scribbling her name down before flinging the contract behind her. "But if it'll get you moving, I guess I have no-" she would say, just as the Carbon Dragon's Fang impacted. Even if Tristan was nigh unkillable, the force of the blast would still send them both flying...mostly because Charlotte would hide behind him. She was a Princess, not an explosion test dummy!

Flung far into the air, the twosome would be in freefall for a moment before crashing into foliage and tree branches that broke their fall, leaving them both looking a mess. Clearly irate at this, Charlotte shook her fist at C-3. "Hey, we're supposed to FIND the hero, not KILL him!" she cried out. Picking Tristan up off the ground, she dusted his armor off, and licked her index and middle finger before pinching a spike of his hair that had caught fire. "There you go. Now, let's get into those woods and ruin some poor woodland creature's life!" she would proudly say, before charging off, dragging him by the wrist.

One prolonged explanation of how to hit something with a sword later, Charlotte would eagerly await Tristan bashing a poor little slime upside the head. They...looked kind of cute. They had big black shiny eyes, and green bodies that jiggled as they bounced around. They'd occasionally bump into one another and make a much larger slime, but they seemed relatively passive. Of course, after a few million times of being reincarnated, one could guess Tristan was out of sympathy. He'd also note that Charlotte was not even trying to fight them, just kind of pushing them towards him. "Go get 'em Hero!"

@Enkryption @Suku

Meanwhile, back over at the cliffside, the Midboss would find herself suddenly within the shade of a person as they stood over her. "Excuse me ma'am, are you quite alright? That looked like quite a fall." a deep, smooth voice would ask, belonging to that loomed over her. His grey fur gleamed in the sunlight, as bright as the armor and the lance that he carried upon his person. He was...certainly a thing that existed. Placing a hand over his chest, he offered her a hand. "Allow me to help you up. Shall you need an escort to a healer?" he asked, radiating charisma...despite being a cat. And being roughly two feet tall.

C-3 Would also notice the cat, namely due to all the shiny metal he was carrying. Perhaps he'd have something she would like to eat for breakfast. Or, maybe she just liked cats. Who knew?
@Guess Who

Upon hearing the approach of someone, Charlotte snapped to attention, raising her hands into a defensive stance and raising a knee, in case she needed to kick a rear that happened to just fly right into her foot. What she saw instead however was just what she was hoping for. An audible gasp escaped her as her crimson eyes twinkled with childlike wonder, admiring the...basic armor and...totally non-magic sword,, he wasn't even that handsome. Suddenly dropping her stance entirely, her face just kind of shifted to an indifferent glare as she heard him set up his table. Her expression would become more vacant as his actions grew stranger, with paperwork set up. What kind of hero had paperwork involved!? They usually got sent out to kill slimes, then the local bandits, then help the kingdom, then gradually build up to being involved in bureaucracy and politics! This was way too advanced at the start, and it was frankly making her head spin as the interview began.

Absent minded and left in utter shock, she was forced to obey his demands to write down her Sex, Race, and left her age as ???, because it was just rude to ask a lady her age...especially when she'd lost count a century or two ago. For where she was in Five Years, she wrote: "At the height of power, ruling over the world upon a throne built of the corpses of my enemies, with my father forced to be sealed for eternity for being a dumb-dumb." Her special skills were being fluent in Dragontongue, Elder Speak, knowing the Demon Arts of Incineration, Punches, Kicks, and Headbutts, Slimetaming, and Fashion. Just as she was about to finish dotting her i's and crossing her t's, Charlotte would hear her gelatinous companion call her name, before a ball of incinerating, roaring, fiery explosive energy impacted against her, sending her flying up into the air, before hurtling back down to the earth as her head smashed into the table the hero was sitting at. He was completely unharmed, both by the explosion, and the impact, but Charlotte was nearly given a concussion by all the stationery falling upon her noggin.

Shaking herself free, Charlotte begrudgingly filled out another form, before slamming it onto the Hero's lap. "You've got a lot of nerve, already acting all...superior, and aloof. You're not even past the first town yet!" she would say, before clearing her throat and dusting herself off. "Well, no matter. You're in luck, dear little deskworking hero! For before you stands THE Charlotte Andromalius Nix Iscaron! The one and only daughter of the Demon King himself! And even more lucky for you, I have just the powers needed, and the know-how to clobber Daddy before he even know what hits him-" she said, before being interrupted yet AGAIN by some upstart yelling from atop a cliff. Pointing up, Charlotte sounded annoyed as she called out to her: "Hey! Forgettable Boss! We're TRYING to have an uninterruptible introduction sequence here! Hold on a minute, he doesn't even know the difference between a Slime and a Curie. We'll fight you after he hits level 3!"

Thankfully however, C-3 already had the situation under control, pushing the woman off her cliff in order to get at the food beneath. Taking advantage of the confusion, Charlotte snickered, before dashing behind Tristan, and hugging his back. "Now, we're officially a party, Mr. Boring Hero! No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Let's get going, that fodder isn't gonna slaughter itself." she said, before a jingle resounded in Tristan's mind, before a white wall of text in front of him stated:

Charlotte has joined the Party!
Day 1: The Legendary Hero Will Never Catch a Break!?

A yawn filled the inn room in which the future Demon King resided, her arms stretching back towards her pillow and pushing it off the bed as she rolled over, burying her face in her blanket. "Scratchy..." she would complain, before shaking herself awake. Hopping out of bed, she would change from her smallclothes into her usual garb of a red sleeveless one piece with black portions under the arms, a thigh length black skirt, black elbow-length gloves, red boots, and her black stockings before she would reach underneath her bed to pull out what appeared to be a lute case. Opening it up, she would reveal her explosive roommate that she had snuck in to keep from having to pay for a second room...and had also likely abducted in her sleep to try and outdo the Legendary Hero. "C-3, up and at-em'! We've got ourselves a hero to find." she would chirp, before dashing out, leaving C-3 to do her morning routine. Dropping a few copper coins to the innkeeper, she dashed out, using a basic spell to hide her crimson horns and spade tipped tail. To any ordinary villager, Charlotte appeared to all as a normal young woman...albeit an obnoxious one.

Stealing out into the forest, the Demon King to be would proceed to drop kick a boar in the cheek, before landing with a graceful flip. Looking absolutely proud of herself, she looked around to check if anybody had seen...but sadly, nobody had. Well, the dryads had, but they didn't want to indulge her. Last time they did, she offered to make them her vassals, and have them judge the sports tournaments she would set up wherein she would of course ALWAYS take first place. She kept doing this. Every. Single. Time.

Dragging the poor boar's skinned corpse who had lost to the most arrogant woman in existence, said most arrogant woman proceeded to cast [Fireball] over it, humming as she maintained the ball's distance from the pig as it roasted the skin and flesh, rotating it lazily with her foot. Life was hard on a budget...especially if she'd be caught by one of the Lords that owned the woods around [Home Town]. But still, boar meat made it worth. Once it was crisped to perfection, she would tear a hunk off and bite into it. Despite the texture and juice of the meat, she still sighed. "...Demon realm cuisine really is the best...this is just...blegh..." she would complain, sinking her chin into her free elbow. "Hurry up Mister Heroooooo~! I wanna beat Daddy already!" she would shout to the heavens as if in demand, waving her hunk of meat around, before taking another bite. "Its so weird...the Day of Prophecy or whatever that old geezer called it was like, three days ago...where is this dumb Hero? Did he get sidetracked on the ONLY road leading out of his home village? Did he get ambushed? Should I have ambushed HIM?" she questioned, rolling around while eating her meat. She was bored. Booooooored.

Lvl 1 Demon PrincessLv20 MonkLv20 Flame Sorcereress
Charlotte Andromalius Nix Iscaron
Lv41HP: 600MP: 100
Gender: FemaleAge: Secret!Race: Upper Level Demon

Adventurer Stats

Strength10 / 10
Speed9 / 10
Constitution7 / 10
Intelligence2 / 10
Charisma5 / 10
Luck3 / 10

Demon Princess

A made up class of her own design that literally screams "NPC only". Despite that, her powers are no joke, being more than capable of fighting armed opponents with nothing but her bare hands. Her stats are middling to high in almost all categories, with especially high STRENGTH and SPEED stats, but exceptionally low LUCK. Despite this, she'll often just walk out of fights to let the party deal with things.


Demon Arts of Incineration: There's nothing particularly special about Charlotte's magic, as she hasn't particularly studied or applied herself in her attempts to strengthen it. As such, she is comparable to a mid-level wizard in terms of spell casting abilities, favoring to punch her problems away rather than nuke them.

Demon Arts of Punches, Kicks, and Headbutts: She literally just made up names for basic attacks such as punching or kicking. Her horns do at least make her headbutts deadly though. Due to her high strength, she is comparable to a Martial Artist of a high level in terms of technique and power.

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