earlymorninstar

[Lather the blood on your hands] 18+ UPDATED [Ignore Post Count]

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[Leave the hurt behind] Raijinslayer x Earlymorninstar [18+]

There was a swirl of emotion coursing through her that had been so terribly overwhelming that the only thing Clara could hold onto was the mere submission to what Jaden had wanted. The sooner she listened to him, the sooner she could get far away from the depths of that club, and the sooner she could be alone to deal with the questions and frustration that was swimming throughout her thoughts. She didn't want to be near Jaden, at least not then. She couldn't quite understand it, or how everything had entirely happened, but she knew she was partly to blame. She had willingly fell into temptation through her own anger, having felt slighted that he had asked her to attend the club with him, and at the first chance he had, he had left her by herself. Perhaps she was sensitive when it came to those things; no matter how hardened she had become over the years, the thought of being left alone and cast aside for something better had eaten at her and had pushed her directly into someone else's arms – well, someone else who just so happened to be the same person. That thought had troubled her the most.

Everything that had happened the night before: the most intimate and erotic night in her entire life had turned into more of a nightmare more than anything else. To wake up in the middle of that club, in the middle of all of those bodies and then to have Jaden burst out that it was all him – that the person she had recklessly given herself over to the night before was him, she almost felt sick to her stomach. How she could have never figured out such a secret throughout the centuries that she'd been with him had been beyond her. How he could have lied to her in such a way had made her feel unsettled. The man she had been living with all of the time; the one who had taken her in, who was supposed to keep her safe, had been a different person altogether – one who had taken advantage of her and now knew her in the most intimate of ways without her even meaning for him to.

She was silent as she followed him to the car, and even in her seat she had pressed herself the farthest away, trying to keep her focus out the window or even shut her eyes when she could. His wild driving had driven her close to the edge; close to her breaking point where she was so terribly close to snapping that she didn't know just what she would do if she couldn't get out of that car soon enough. She tried to ignore it all, tried to block out the incessant things he would drive into – and even the poor dog that hadn't even been spared in his wake.

She felt sick and she wanted a shower. She needed to think; she needed to breathe.

As soon as they arrived back at the estate, Jaden had opened her door but she immediately avoided his touch – she didn't want to feel it; didn't want to feel his skin against hers, at least not in that moment. She was silent even as she moved past him and into the house, immediately bounding her way up to her own room with a slam of the door behind her. Part of her wanted to drink; wanted to find a way to instantly numb it all but then again, that was what had gotten them into this mess, hadn't it?

With the frown still on her lips, Clara had made her way to her bathroom where she ran the hottest water that shower could muster before she shoved off her dress and stepped in, letting the hot water sting her skin as she closed her eyes tight, wanting to wash away every bit of the night before. She had been in there for a long time, scrubbing furiously at her skin until it nearly felt raw, pink with abuse both from her scrubbing and the hot water that continued to rain down upon her. It was all too close to what had happened before – how she had given herself over in the heat of the moment and had woken up to the absence of the one person she ignorantly thought she could trust, abandoned and cast aside like a piece of trash. This time, it somehow hurt even more than that – the only person she had let close to her had lied to her, let loose whatever the hell side of him that was, and had entirely consumed her and spit her out. She felt used.

Yet, amidst all of her confusion, feelings of betrayal, feelings of disappointment and her broken trust – anger bubbled within her.

Once the water had been turned off and she was able to scrub off everything that could have clung to her body, she stepped slowly out of the shower and wrapped herself up. She dried herself off quickly enough, throwing a large t-shirt over her head, slipping on a pair of shorts beneath that before she had aggressively brushed through her long hair, little waves popping through in the brushes wake. She'd left it down, tossing the brush onto her counter carelessly before she turned out of her room and headed back downstairs to where she knew he would be.

"…What the fuck Jaden?" They were the first words to fall from her lips as soon as she had laid eyes upon him. Her hands had curled into tight fists at her sides, her bright gaze narrowed upon him. "You were supposed to be the one I could trust. You were never supposed to hurt me…" Her words came out fast, almost as if she wasn't entirely thinking them through. Or perhaps they were all of her collected thoughts in the shower, bursting forth in a collective word-vomit, hoping that she wouldn't forget a single thought. "I know I'm already fucked up, Jaden – but now you've just added a whole new level to it…" Clara had kept the distance between them, knowing full well her anger could bubble out of control; she wanted to kick and scream and beat the hell out of him to make him feel just what she was feeling, but she kept herself grounded. "If you hadn't fucking run off the first moment you could, maybe this wouldn't have even happened!" A pause. "Hell! If you even told me about all of this, it probably wouldn't have happened! Jesus Christ, Jaden…"

[Beneath a moonless sky] 18+ [Arista x Earlymorninstar]

Part of Clara had been relieved to be back, moreso realizing nothing terrible had happened in their absence. Then there was another part of her who was reluctant to stand beyond those doors again. She knew she couldn’t very well leave… Not right now; not when she had even more unanswered questions that Ryanair had evoked. Was it worth it? Clara wasn’t sure… But she could at least linger long enough to find out, and then perhaps she would go. What was the point of her being around in the first place? All she’d managed to do was save him on more than one occasion. Other than that -- she still felt out of place. It was her own doing, she knew -- she had a moment with Ryanair and then reality had come crashing down and that was all it was: A moment that had faded just as quickly, because really, she apparently didn’t deserve to have a moment of calm.

Clara blinked a bit out of surprise when the books were lifted from her hold, especially since she was hardly paying attention in the first place. It was easy to guess where her mind could have been, both her and Ryanair were terribly on edge with what had happened, both thrust right back into the past where it all began. She didn’t fully know his story, but she could only assume that it was hardly pleasant…

When her own books were given back, Clara had offered a little nod as she held them to her chest before finally breaking off from the group to head into the kitchen. She hadn’t quite looked to the others who were there, nor did she offer any sort of conversation. Her attention was focused only on the glass that she plucked from the cabinet once her books were placed down, and the bottle of white wine that she grabbed immediately thereafter. She struggled with the cork for a moment, but once it was removed, she grabbed her books and carefully grabbed her glass before she turned to leave the kitchen. Where she wanted to go- well, she wasn’t certain, but she had soon heard the soft tones of music from below and the frown on her lips grew deeper.

Inevitably, she found herself in the study where she sunk into a rather large chair, her back against one arm while her legs were soon propped over the other. She placed her books in her lap before she poured a rather large amount of wine into her glass. The bottle had been placed on the floor and she took a long sip before tilting her head back to look at the ceiling. She wasn’t happy with the emotions surging through her; wasn’t happy with the way things had gone as of late… But she knew sleep would not meet her anytime soon, and if it did, it wouldn’t last terribly long…

@Arista

[Beneath a moonless sky] 18+ [Arista x Earlymorninstar]

His tone had not gone ignored by Clara, but she kept her gaze ahead just as he had. Clearly he had reservations about telling her what he had, and Clara still hadn’t entirely understood why he even decided to tell her. Maybe he had grown tired of her brooding, thinking about Kieran in such a negative light and furthermore constantly speaking her disdain could have been something that had triggered him considering he had known the truth. She had only understood the pieces she was given -- the broken promises, the rush of one night where everything had been tossed aside for each other before the inevitable pain had settled in, waking only to what she’d become and the ache that lingered thereafter in the realization that although she had Christian to take care of her in his wake, she had been betrayed and abandoned by Kieran. How was she to even guess of his motives; to even think that he could have checked on her after all of this time? She couldn’t fathom the thought, nor did she want to entirely believe Ryanair either -- but the way he’d suddenly tucked himself away and seemed irritated, she knew she probably should believe him.

Her grip on the books in her arms had been firm as she kept her focus on the path ahead of them, eager to get back and submerge herself in drink to numb the feelings surging through her. Would she sleep that night? Probably not -- any ounce of being able to forget certain details; certain feelings had been cast aside hours before. Every bit of detail of her memories had flooded back and there was no amount of forgetting -- not so soon, at least.

A shame, really -- They’d at least shared a carefree moment before everything had fallen to shit again… now it felt like those walls were right back up between them with no crack in the foundation that might have brought it down.

He would submerge himself in his distractions as would she. Clara just wanted to drink, perhaps soak herself in a long bath, and try to bury herself in a book until sleep would take her over and the nightmares would inevitably pull her from that comfort.

@Arista

[Beneath a moonless sky] 18+ [Arista x Earlymorninstar]

Clara hadn’t quite known how much time had passed while she sat there, eyeing her shoes as she idly kicked them and buried them in the snow beneath her. She was left alone with her thoughts, an occasional person passing her by in town had only served as a temporary distraction. How her life had suddenly ended up like this, she wasn’t entirely sure. Weeks ago she had been brooding, drinking, and fighting with Christian day in and day out. Now, here she was sitting upon a bench in a town, having to run errands for a group of people that she’d suddenly become entangled with. And to make matters worse, she had been caught in a whirlwind with her sire who she previously had been intent on killing the moment she had found him -- and she’d done nothing even close to the sort. On the contrary, she had saved him more than once and even now he was back at home hopefully healing considering the blood that she of all people had to provide for him.

And now Ryanair’s lingering words had her feeling more conflicted than she’d been before.

Part of her had wanted to head back, grab Christian and ask him to leave with her… He had kept himself distant the moment they had all ended up together, and at least for a moment she had been thankful for that. Now, she wasn’t so certain. Where had all of their bickering gone? She would have paid to have gone back to normal even then - at least then she wouldn’t know what she knew now, and wouldn’t worry over the entire truth should she ever get to pry it from Kieran.

A small huff fell from her lips before Clara had finally pushed herself from the bench. It had been long enough, and she wasn’t sure when the others would be around. So, she headed towards the entrance, the pile of books in her arms as she trudged through the snow. Should they have left the mansion so soon? Something within her told her it hadn’t been the smartest of ideas, but a bit of fresh air had been good for her. The frown was still painted upon her lips as she walked along, eventually hearing the bit of banter between Lye and Evian. She was silent as she approached the group, slipping beside Ryanair without looking to him. “Are we headed back now?” Maybe she could grab a drink and perhaps bury herself in one of her own books she had picked up -- that seemed like a better idea and a viable distraction to everything else going on around her.

@Arista

[Leave the hurt behind] Raijinslayer x Earlymorninstar [18+]

Clara had been anticipating the usual skirting around her anger when she had snapped at Jaden; she hadn’t quite been ready for his response. The way he dismissed her; the way he had been so very cold and cast her aside and out of his way. Part of her was aggravated, wanting to get her anger out as she shouted her disbelief at him, but he had not taken the bait. No, he had done quite the opposite as he answered her with such a tone that made her have to believe, and she had been so very caught off guard the moment he had pushed past her - just rough enough to make her move. Her mind was reeling as she tried to grasp the reality of the situation at hand, flashes of the night before still running through her mind as she tried to put together each part carefully. She had been so terribly angry with Jaden for leaving her, especially when he had been the one to ask her to go with him in the first place that she was determined to find a distraction for her anger - her usual attempt at numbing something that she did not quite want to feel. The alcohol hadn’t done the trick but he did… He had not only made her forget about Jaden, but he had made her forget about nearly everything that could have hurt her; anything that could have made her feel the way she had for all of those centuries in favor for both pain and pleasure that she craved altogether.

To think that he and Jaden were one in the same left her stomach turning; thoughts and emotions running through her that she couldn’t quite grasp or explain.

She was in denial even then, surprised by how hardened Jaden had suddenly become, but any denial had easily melted away as she watched him move further away from her in an attempt to rid the building of the massacre that had been created. She had seen the darkness flowing from him, seen those wisps that now she couldn’t very well forget. She’d remembered now, how they curled about her body, eliciting even more stimulation, more pleasure to where she almost couldn’t bare it.

Clara had slowly sunk to sit at the end of the booth as she watched him, the bodies and the mess disappearing before her very eyes; the clothes that had been long forgotten and cast aside now covering her as if the night before hadn’t exactly happened. The ache and exhaustion that she felt in her very core had not, however, and the urge to get back home and in the shower and far away from Jaden had suddenly become very strong. Who exactly was the man before her-- Clara wasn’t so sure. She had been used to the quiet Jaden who occasionally bickered with her; who dealt with her deep-rooted anger and depression regardless of how she had lashed out at him. This Jaden, the one who had now turned his attention back to her had seemed very different. Was it betrayal that she had felt? She didn’t know -- He’d kept a secret this large from her so long and for her to find out the way she had - for her to be ravaged in such a way by that very secret, she wasn’t sure how she had felt in that moment.

She had stared at him as he spoke to her, that commanding tone lingering on his lips in a way that made her hesitate. She’d wanted to lash out; fight and argue every bit of it, but no longer had she held that energy and something within her had simply submitted to his orders. There was no arguing that he was one in the same, not after the display that he had so openly shared before her, but how she was going to deal with the fact that she very well remembered what had happened the night before, despite the massacre, despite the bodies that have been left behind, was beyond her. Clara had made a mistake the previous night - had given herself over in favor of spite, much like she had before with her sire. It was all too familiar and it shook her in a way she couldn’t explain.

So as Clara watched him and he practically ordered her to listen to him and stay quiet, she had nodded in that same submission despite herself ; despite the disconnect in her gaze as she came to a stand. She would do what he wanted, but she couldn’t very well make the same promises when they’d gotten back to the estate.

[Leave the hurt behind] Raijinslayer x Earlymorninstar [18+]

Clara was confused, wildly so...Trying to muster recollections of the night before, trying to understand that despite the bodies that lie around thsm, it was only she and Jaden that had remained. She was terribly exhausted, unwilling to think too deeply but unable to realize just what was before her as she tried to recall - the tangle of bodies; the exhilaration and lust all that she could focus on when she tried to figure it out for herself. Where Haden had gone that night had been beyond her -- his own abandonment had been the reason that she sought the attention of another l - one who knew exactly how to manipulate her body and make her beg.

Her thoughts were silenced as she was startled by the sounds of breaking glass, and she stared at the aftermath, unable to realize just why he had been so angry. If anything, he should have been relieved, they been the only two spared from whatever the hell had unleashed that night before.

His anger was foreign to her -- Clara had seen Haden angry before, had been the reason more than once that he had grown agitated but this, this was entirely different. This was an anger and frustration that seemed to longer in his very soul... And as he had broken out in laughter she had wondered if he had lost his damn mind. As he continued, she worried for his sanity, his words making little sense to her.

Clara clutched the fabric of the table cloth to her chest amidst his raving, but when he had finally looked at her, she had seen it- the quick familiarity of the night before - the look that had nearly devoured her whole. His words that followed thereafter had worry settle deep within her stomach, flipping and settling in a way that made her feel not only terribly vulnerable, but also angry. It was unfathomable as he spoke in his anger, to think Jaden had been capable of more than just an argument here or there, was impossible. He had always been complacent, eager to please and easy to walk over, despite the feelings of inevitable guilt once in a while that she had.

What he was trying to tell her was that he had housed some sexual demon. All of this time she couldn't have had a clue, his secret so massive and so well hidden that she didn't want to believe him. But the anger in his words, the guilt and frustration in his voice had her shaken.

They were the only two left standing in that shell of a club.. And there was a dann good reason as to why.

Regardless of the pit that found its way in her stomach over the fact that she had submitted with such wreckless abandon to someone who was a literal part of Jaden, she couldn't believe it - not as she suddenly closed the distance between them with a snarl, her gaze searching his for the lie that she hoped would be there as her fingers dug into the booth by his shoulders. "You fucking expect me to believe that?" Yet she was shaken in a way that gave her away. "You're telling me you've been able to hide the fact that you have a fucking demon within you and because you wanted to enjoy yourself, this happens?!" And it just so happened that that very demon had consumed her, made her his in ways that she hadn't thought possible. "Bullshit!"

[Leave the hurt behind] Raijinslayer x Earlymorninstar [18+]

It had probably been the first time in centuries that Clara hadn't awoken from one of her nightmares early in the morning. She couldn't remember a time that her body had shut down in such a way, unwilling to wake entirely even as she had felt the shift beneath her. Her lips had curled into a frown at the disturbance, her arms wrapped carefully around whomever it was beneath her; she wasn't entirely sure. All she knew in that moment was that she had felt entirely exhausted, drained of any energy to move, and hungry with the need to feed whenever she could muster the strength to rise. The night before had been a blur. She had remembered being so terribly angry at Jaden. She had been intent on finding someone - anyone to distract her and who she found, well -- just the thought of what she could recall the night before had her shifting in recollection.

When she had felt the body move from her hold, her frown had deepened, and she slowly was becoming aware of where she was. Apparently, Clara had never quite made it home the night before, feeling the cold hard ground now beneath her. She had forced her eyes open reluctantly as she had heard a bit of commotion now across the room, but she had not fully registered the scene just yet.

Clara had given a soft groan as she pushed herself to sit up on the floor, her body aching in protest as she moved. She brushed her tousled hair from her face before she could focus on her surroundings first, realizing very quickly that the maddening scene around her the night before had changed into something much darker as she eyed the bodies with hesitation. Why she had been spared was beyond her - unsure what had happened whilst she was lost in the wild bit of passion that had been inflicted upon her. None of it made sense - never before had she lost control the way shehhad the night before. Never before had she ever experienced something as erotic either...

Her gaze cautiously trailed the bodies for a moment longer, unnerved and uncertain as she had tried to piece the rest of her night together, but then her gaze fell on Jaden and for a split moment she had been relieved until she realized that he was naked -- just as her apparently and she had reached to grab the closest table cloth to cover herself at least in front of him (if only she had known how silly that notion was) before she reluctantly pushed herself from the ground. Her body ached from the abuse it took, and she needed a shower desperately - she could feel the dried fluids against her skin; could smell the sex upon herself, but she pushed it aside as she covered herself and cautiously approached Jaden. "What the fuck happened?" She couldn't understand why he was sobbing nor could she put the pieces together just yet. The scene around her was hard to grasp, eyeing the bodies around them only for a moment. She seemed disoriented, leaning against the railing to support herself. It was only her and Jaden left, no sign of the one who had entirely posessed her the night before. "I just -- I don't ... How the fuck did this happen?"

[Leave the hurt behind] Raijinslayer x Earlymorninstar [18+]

Yep! :3

[Leave the hurt behind] Raijinslayer x Earlymorninstar [18+]

No, Clara had not entirely fallen under his influences just yet, part of her skeptical about handing the reigns over so easily while the other part of her was eager to give in and let this man have full control. It wasn't something she was used to -- giving control over her so quickly, but hell, it was far more exciting than she had thought it would be. Usually she was calculated, knowing exactly what button to push and when to hit it to make them melt - to make them want her. Now, those precise thoughts and plans had faded from her mind before she could even muster them, replaced with a new submissiveness that made her ache with want.

He had been right with his assumptions and she had parted her lips in a retort yet suddenly found them quite occupied. Suddenly that heat within her had built, and it had done so rather quickly. There were no thoughts of protest, hardly any coherent thought to be found as he had closed the small distance between them and she found that, perhaps, submission wasn't so terrible after all. It most certainly couldn't have been, especially when she felt his hands trail lower, firmly grabbing her, urging her to give in.

Her body was pressed flush against his own as she found herself kissing him back. Her hands had found their way in his hair, fingertips scratching against his scalp at the sudden attack; the urge and need swelling within her in an almost unbearable want. All thought of Jaden had dissipated, most of her apprehension tossed to the air. Maybe for this one night, she could give in.

As he kissed her, her tongue had danced with his own for a long moment, needing to taste him; needing to feel him against her. No, Clara could hardly care that they were still on the dance floor - none of that suddenly mattered as she nipped at his bottom lip, teeth grazing flesh in a silent taunt -- Fuck... it was almost maddening how she suddenly desired him so.