Sometimes, Freddy truly lovehated his friends. He lovehated them with the brutal intensity of a million suns gone supernova being bombarded by a trillion ultra-nukes, with a lit match being tossed on just to add that tiny bit of heat and intensity to make the analogy perfect. This was one of those moments. Freddy had to suppress a shudder at Kat's touch.
Sweet shitbricks I need to get laid. First that trick by Puck, and now just THAT makes me want to swoon!?
"Fuck you Kat!" Freddy exclaimed. After a moment, not wanting anyone to twist his words, he added, "Platonically! With a missile!"
It was a good thing it was hard to tell that Freddy was blushing. He usually went red with rage anyways. Between his volume, how explicit he was, his shockingly ridiculous physical capabilities and his many burn scars, Freddy actually looked rather frightening while enraged. To strangers, that is. His friends seemed to find it FREAKING HILARIOUS.
He heard Aaron's comment, and rounded on him, mouth a thin line.
"You're one to talk, Hot Head! You're like Terrence Baker, that one dude in the Assault on Giant anime!" Freddy said, before assuming the most brutish posture he could and attempting to imitate Aaron's voice, "I will kill ALL the Giants! Hnnnngrhghrrrrrr!"
Puck then spoke, and Freddy just stared at him for a few seconds. Then, slowly, he nodded, his body visibly relaxing.
"Yeah...yeah, that's fair. Okay, once we get back we're working on this shit! And...look, if you ever need someone to listen to you, you can talk to any of us. Me included. I won't fucking judge you for opening up to me," Freddy told Puck, "God knows I've been trying to get Remi to freaking show an emotion or two for years. The man's so cold that it's winter all year round in that room."
Thael then offered him hotdogs, and Freddy barely had time to wolf one down with speed and gluttony he didn't think he had before Thael wrapped him in a hug. Thael talked about how they'd be stuck with each other, and Freddy simply blinked. While his appearance looked blank, internally he was fighting the greatest battle of his entire life.
No...any time but now.
Freddy could feel the blood flowing to the exact wrong place. He could feel his underwear slowly becoming more inadequate as he felt Thael's embrace. In his mind, it was like two massive armies battling for the fate of the universe. One side fought for social non-awkwardness. The other army could simply be called the Army of Bones.
GOD DAMMIT LIL FREDDY, YOU CALM YOUR SHIT DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I WILL UPPERCUT YOU INTO THE GOD DAMN SUN, BEFORE BLASTING IT APART WITH NOTHING BUT MY PURE, UNBRIDLED RAGEFURY I SWEAR TO GOD!
"I-...yeah," was all Freddy said as Thael released him. He then coughed, feeling awkward for a very obvious reason.
***
The ceremony was fine. No problem. He didn't mind it. He...had to admit, he wasn't expecting Olivia to be the leader. However, when he thought about it, she was the obvious choice. Only Freddy put more effort into keeping the team in good shape, and the way he did it didn't exactly inspire confidence. A leader wasn't supposed to irritate his subordinates into finally giving in and doing what he asked. Olivia though...well, Freddy knew he respected her, and she was a smart girl.
***
OH MY GOD WHO DOES THIS DOUCHEGOBBLER THINK HE EVEN IS. I SWEAR TO HYPERCHRIST IF HE DOESN'T SHUT UP I'M GOING TO MAKE OUT WITH HIM THEN UNLEASH A THOUSAND CONCUSSIVE FORCES STRAIGHT INTO HIS VERTEBRAE!
It took every ounce, every last little scrap of Freddy's less-than-stellar self control NOT to say these things out loud. However, when they were rid of Sawyer, and he thought no one was listening, Freddy took the chance to walk up beside Olivia and proclaim, "Seriously, fuck that guy! But, hey, who are you thinking for the second in command? I'm personally thinking Remi's a good choice, since he's got the best tactical mind out of us. Thael's tempting, but he's too much of a natural leader. He's not vice-captain material, really."
It was actually rather arrogant of Freddy to immediately start bothering Olivia on her thoughts. He did catch himself, however.
"Wait, shit, sorry, you're probably still adjusting to this whole 'being in charge' bullshit. Er, not that it's bullshit you're the captain! Honestly you're the obvious choice! I mean, you're like, constantly there for us! Shit, I certainly think you're a great choice as captain."
He paused.
"Holy shitting Buddha I'm just being awkward I'll go over there now."
***
Freddy had been enjoying the hike. He loved physical exertion. It was simple, and when he was manic and his mind was racing and the world was nothing but infinite chaos it was one of the few things he could channel his energy into successfully without feeling the intense frustration of failure. When he was depressed, it was slightly less enjoyable, but meh.
So when Olivia dramatically declared it was time to rest, Freddy let out a loud groan.
"By all the stars in heaven and every single fuck I don't give, Olivia, don't be a lazy shit! It's not that long of a freaking hike! I mean, yeah, it's kinda bullshit, and I'm pretty sure that taint-licking scrub was lying to us, but if anyone can go without cars it's probably the superhumans who can bond with spirits!"
Sentinel seemed to voice his approval in Freddy's mind, and Freddy rolled his eyes. Sentinel loved when Freddy was being confrontational. Its approval filled him with shame.
Shut the fuck up.