"A sports car, huh?" I said, "I've never really wanted to drive... it seems like a lot of responsibility. I'd rather just be driven around, but that may just be because I'm a wimp." I smiled at Vivian. "I know what you mean about feeling empty... I've felt that way for a long time now, like I have no purpose. But I guess I don't really need one... whether there's a point to my life or not, I'm still here..." In truth, it would be nice to find my life meaningful, but it seemed unlikely that anything was going to come along and change how I felt any time soon. Distant as I was from the rest of the world, life would always be empty.
Airalin Member
Cunning, cold, and cuddly
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- Airalin 12 yrs ago
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I'm just some crazy reclusive girl. If you really want to know more about me, just ask. ^.~
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After looking through games with Vivian and buying a few while I was at it, I closed my laptop and decided to go get something to eat. "Of course you can join me for dinner, silly!" I said. As long as she wasn't going to start blaming me again, I didn't mind her company at all - in fact, it was nice to have someone to talk to. "You should try out a broader range of games," I said, "Some of the fantasy ones are really cool... I used to play them all the time when I was living at college." To my surprise, I found myself missing my time as a student. It had been remarkably ordinary and simple compared to the life I had been living since I inherited all that money.
Keeping my eyes on the screen of my laptop, I said, "Well, regardless of the cost, all of those jerks are dead now. They won't bother us anymore. Do you ever play video games? I'm ordering some to occupy me while I'm locked up here." I had no idea whether the necklace would do anything to her or not, of course. There was a decent chance that it was just biding its time, but we had no way of knowing that. "Don't stress over the necklace," I said, "It's hidden and locked away now. We'll just leave it there and everything should be alright." Why was I trying to make Vivian feel better? She had said such cruel things to me...
"I see you, so you can come on out and talk to me," I said loudly, calling to Vivian as I booted up my laptop and prepared to make my purchases. I hated that I was going to have to wait for my games... but not nearly as much as I loathed what Vivian was reminding me of. THe sooner I restored her to her usual self, the sooner I could stop feeling so bad about the way she was acting.
"I'm not going to yell at you or anything," I said frowning. Now that I was a prisoner in this house, I needed any friends I could get. After all, even I couldn't spend all of my time alone - that would get boring. As my computer swiftly booted up, I eyed the box attached to my ankle with a grimace. It was the shackle keeping me here - if I could remove it, I would be able to leave freely. Not that I had anywhere to go. But now that I wasn't allowed to leave, I wanted the freedom to do so all the more. It was funny how that worked. However, I would not actually try to get rid of the box. It wasn't worth the risk. After being in a coma for so long, I hardly wanted to return to confinement, let alone the strict captivity I had endured before.
"I'm not going to yell at you or anything," I said frowning. Now that I was a prisoner in this house, I needed any friends I could get. After all, even I couldn't spend all of my time alone - that would get boring. As my computer swiftly booted up, I eyed the box attached to my ankle with a grimace. It was the shackle keeping me here - if I could remove it, I would be able to leave freely. Not that I had anywhere to go. But now that I wasn't allowed to leave, I wanted the freedom to do so all the more. It was funny how that worked. However, I would not actually try to get rid of the box. It wasn't worth the risk. After being in a coma for so long, I hardly wanted to return to confinement, let alone the strict captivity I had endured before.
I'm not sure, either... having Vivian leave might not be great for the RP, though I'm fine with it if we can come up with something else.
I frowned at the news. Why had Vivian left? I couldn't help but feel a bit bad about it... before she used my necklace, I had enjoyed her company. But, now, she barely seemed to want anything to do with me. Where would she go? As long as she wasn't mean to me, she was free to stay here...
I sighed and pushed myself into a sitting position on my bed. My injections didn't seem to be making me feel particularly better. "I suppose you should," I told Amanda. I had nothing else to do, so I might as well eat. "I know I can't leave the house, but I want to buy some video games or something..." I mumbled. Perhaps being asocial would comfort me...
I sighed and pushed myself into a sitting position on my bed. My injections didn't seem to be making me feel particularly better. "I suppose you should," I told Amanda. I had nothing else to do, so I might as well eat. "I know I can't leave the house, but I want to buy some video games or something..." I mumbled. Perhaps being asocial would comfort me...
I gritted my teeth, but was silent for a long moment. He was right; I didn't have the faintest clue about what exactly trust was. How could I? Everyone I had ever known had betrayed me.
Despite myself, I sullenly said, "Fine! We'll meet again later." I didn't meet his eyes as I spoke - he was already reading me far too easily. Instead, I got up and stalked out of the room. I needed some alone time - having someone pry into your innermost fears and weaknesses was exhausting.
Without saying a word to anyone, I made for my room and shut the door behind me with a slam, immediately throwing myself onto the bed. After a moment, I slammed a fist against the mattress let out a hiss of rage. That guy had a lot of nerve to try to get into my head like that, even if it was his job! Why on earth had I agreed to meet with him again? There was no way I was stupid enough to actually fall for that trust nonsense... was there?
Despite myself, I sullenly said, "Fine! We'll meet again later." I didn't meet his eyes as I spoke - he was already reading me far too easily. Instead, I got up and stalked out of the room. I needed some alone time - having someone pry into your innermost fears and weaknesses was exhausting.
Without saying a word to anyone, I made for my room and shut the door behind me with a slam, immediately throwing myself onto the bed. After a moment, I slammed a fist against the mattress let out a hiss of rage. That guy had a lot of nerve to try to get into my head like that, even if it was his job! Why on earth had I agreed to meet with him again? There was no way I was stupid enough to actually fall for that trust nonsense... was there?
"Everyone here is to blame!" I said vehemently, scowling at my shrink. He was trying to get me to blame myself, I knew it! Well, I wasn't about to do that - I was the victim! "Everyone who uses me, who pretends to care, who pretends to understand me when they don't, just like you!" I snapped bitterly. "And even if he's dead, it's still all Father's fault, and that of everyone who enabled him. The entire family is to blame, really!"
"I would be totally fine with the people here leaving. They only care about themselves, not me. If they had really cared about me, they would have let me die like a wanted to! Even Vivian only wanted me alive for her own sake!" I brushed aside some forming tears and pressed on, raising my voice in anger. "Why should I stop being defensive? If I'm not, I'll just be hurt while my guard is down! I never want to be betrayed again! Never!"
"I would be totally fine with the people here leaving. They only care about themselves, not me. If they had really cared about me, they would have let me die like a wanted to! Even Vivian only wanted me alive for her own sake!" I brushed aside some forming tears and pressed on, raising my voice in anger. "Why should I stop being defensive? If I'm not, I'll just be hurt while my guard is down! I never want to be betrayed again! Never!"
I clenched my fists in frustration. This guy was totally trying to blame me for all the times I'd been betrayed, even for being forced to take therapy with him! I was not going to accept that.
"This is all my father's fault, of course," I said bitterly, looking away from the shrink. "He was the one who arranged for my kidnapping. It was all some big plot to put me in a good position to inherit the family fortune, and it worked. I wish it hadn't. I was happier when I was living in a college dorm, wealthy enough to take care of myself but with no concerns beyond studying."
I turned to face him, my short fingernails digging into my palms. "And don't you dare try to blame me for not researching people before they come here and try to ruin my life!" I yelled, "It's not like I wanted them here! I told the guards to get rid of them, but they just wouldn't listen to me! I didn't have any choice!" For being a professional, this guy was a total jerk! Lately, everyone had been trying to blame me, and I was just sick of it! Maybe I should try to die again, and risk the padded cell...
"This is all my father's fault, of course," I said bitterly, looking away from the shrink. "He was the one who arranged for my kidnapping. It was all some big plot to put me in a good position to inherit the family fortune, and it worked. I wish it hadn't. I was happier when I was living in a college dorm, wealthy enough to take care of myself but with no concerns beyond studying."
I turned to face him, my short fingernails digging into my palms. "And don't you dare try to blame me for not researching people before they come here and try to ruin my life!" I yelled, "It's not like I wanted them here! I told the guards to get rid of them, but they just wouldn't listen to me! I didn't have any choice!" For being a professional, this guy was a total jerk! Lately, everyone had been trying to blame me, and I was just sick of it! Maybe I should try to die again, and risk the padded cell...
This guy was so full of shit! He was obviously just in this for the money - that was the only reason anyone ever did these things! And I was not happy to be alive - not at all! "How exactly do you plan on healing me?" I said, legs crossed and arms folded, glaring at him. "Yes, I have trust issues. I accept that. But where do I go from there? Do you want me to trust someone again... and get used again? Because you know that's what will happen. People are just like that, aren't they? Ugh, I really wish I wasn't being forced to be here. Ever since I woke up, no one will even look at me. I wish I had just died!"
I glanced toward the clock, waiting for the opportunity to lock myself up in my room and do whatever. I might even take a nap. I liked hanging around at home more during the late night, when I wouldn't have to stumble into anyone else.
I glanced toward the clock, waiting for the opportunity to lock myself up in my room and do whatever. I might even take a nap. I liked hanging around at home more during the late night, when I wouldn't have to stumble into anyone else.
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