aza

I just ate an entire apple in one bite

So that's a thing I can do.

Bleep Bloop

calm down fucktards

Shuffle your music and write it down here and add "in my ass" after it

The messenger in my ass
let him fly in my ass

My neighbor keeps bugging me with her political ideals

lol

My neighbor keeps bugging me with her political ideals

She's like "muh tax dollars" and "duh socialism devil" and "edjumication can't be trusted by nanny state"

SORRY LADY,
GOTTA SOCIALIST DEVIL AGENDA OVER HERE, GONNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND NUKE YOUR TAX DOLLARS.

Pet the thing to your left and report how it went.

So you think you have me figured out.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

@Awson

Share this fetish with me bby

Hey guys I'm in the ER

She's ovulating so hard that maybe she'd prefer some young buck to split her in half instead.

I mean "what?"

That's inappropriate.

@Awson

I just imagine a deer with a saw instead of antlers

27 is the best number

I've come to accept this as a universal fact.

Hey guys I'm in the ER

just have them cut you in half

boom, pain gone

I need ideas!

print them all
paste them onto a paper mache dick