Brovo

It is fucking impossible to get Skype off your computer.

Are they on administrator accounts? Limited users might not be able to fully kill off windows products.

It is fucking impossible to get Skype off your computer.

Or like, common sense: Boot in safe mode, run uninstaller, reboot into safe mode again, google what folders skype adds and uses... And precision cut out the tumour.

Brovo will write you a story

Lucian said
A married couple is going through a really rough divorce-inducing argument, viewed through the perspective of an active god who has taken an interest in their family.

An Emotional God

Such intriguing creatures mankind were, altogether he had created them to better understand what it was to be mortal, yet, it still escaped him. Lucian oversaw the construction of their base molecules, their personality traits randomly chosen by the environment they grew up. These cretins had been born and slain a thousand times and yet he always reverted back to this one, bitter moment in time. To this couple, a man and a woman, of the same species, screeching about whether or not to have a child, no, wait, about an expensive car, no, wait, about plants?

Human beings were such bizarre creatures, Lucian couldn't make sense of it. He had "lived" for the better part of eternity, alone, without any equals, and thus the interactions of lesser beings in such a manner confused him. He gave them wealth, and they argued over how to spend it. He gave them power, and they argued over how to use it. He gave them knowledge, and they argued over what it meant. No matter how many things he gave them, this argument occurred anyway, and the more things they had, the sooner they began to argue.

Still. What more could one do?... Even with omnipotence he was merely their creator, he imbued them with free will and now they used it. Despite wielding all of his powers he could not make them not have this argument without changing the actors themselves, and at that point, it became challenge-less.

So here he was.

Staring at a pair of insignificant insects whose entire lives he already knew. Arguing over their favourite character on a TV show's favourite colour. Whilst hundreds died every minute.

Petty creatures... Even as they invariable split and went their own, separate ways, Lucian merely drew a single line next to many, many other lines. "Not this time." He murmured to himself. "...Maybe... If I made them speak another language..."

Rien n'a changé.

PrimezTime said
Gavino Free, Jeff Ramsey, Jess Patilo, James Haywood, Kay Narvarez, and Micheal Lanes (Fake AG Crew) are planning to rob a bank in modern day Los Pantos. Switch between points of view between the characters I listed. The heist is destined for failure and never goes as planned.

That is a -lot- of characters for flash fiction. I'll look back on it tomorrow when I'm not dead tired and tell you if I can make it work.

natsumehack said
main character is mahz, as he watches SPAM be spam.

Mahz

This story's punchline will be back in three months after the Mexican cartel holding our dear leader has been sufficiently appeased with the value of his golden Fonz statue.

Hint: I may or may not write this. More likely will, just need some sleep first.

^>V

^ Might be the only person who actually knows who Cyndi Lauper is.
< Is just a guy in a basement. Who needs a shower.
V Definitely needs a shower.

^>V

^ Probably ain't right.
< Probably ain't right.
V Probably ain't right.

Brovo will write you a story

Nex: The Cat Toy

Once upon a time, there was a bright piece of orange plastic sitting in a box, on a shelf. It was not aware of how it got there, or why it was there. Around it were several other such items, of various sizes and shapes, with people inspecting them all. It noticed, sometimes, some were taken. Some were not. However, its feelings were irrelevant to this story, for it was in a pet store, and its fate was soon to be revealed.

One day, when the store closed, and the lights turned off, a cat slipped out of its cage. Around its neck was a collar and a metallic name tag. The cat was called Nexerus, and he was curious thing. The toy noticed there was a mistake in its name on the box: Carot, made in China. Nexerus hissed and with a single bound knocked the toy inside its box down onto the ground, and with a loud thud, it heard the the violent, furious assault of clawed paws tearing through cardboard and wrapping paper. Then, moments later, it felt the razor sharp teeth wrapped around it. Nexerus then squeezed it his maw and a loud squeak came from it. Nexerus hesitated, then with delight began to bound about with his newly discovered play mate, it saw the cage where Nexerus slept, and the counter where Nexerus jumped at it with murderous intent from. Altogether, the cat had a wonderful time.

Then the lights came back on. Nexerus panicked and threw it in a cage with a dog before bounding back to his own cage. The last thing the toy saw of Nexerus the cat was its head craning to see the humans coming, before one came and took him away from the toy. Shortly after that, the toy was thrown in a dark black bag.

Then, just as all hope seemed lost, just as it felt the heat of something grabbing it, instead, it found itself back in Nexerus' maw, in a large carpeted room. Nexerus delightfully gave the toy a quick bite to ensure the squeak was right before carrying it off to further adventures.

That's about the best I can do with a cat written from the perspective of a toy shaped like a carrot in ten minutes.

Main Protagonist: Nexerus the Cat. He is the main "actor", and the story generally skips only to parts relevant for the cat aside from a quick introduction to the toy.
Perspective: The entire thing is written from the toy's perspective. When it can no longer see the cat, it generally "fades to black" in some way to return back to the cat.

Next?

Brovo will write you a story

Exactly as the title suggests. Just give me something to write about and I will do it, ala WOTM style flash fiction. Anything from "the main protagonist is a carrot" to "the entire story is written from the perspective of a cat." Use as many or as few elements as you want.

Some example formula shit.
Main protagonist is ______ (ex: carrot, Jorick's ego, a pig with wings, a couch, etc.)
The setting is ______ (ex: sci-fi, the back of a ferret, etc.)
The writing style is ______ (Haiku, Journal entries, something fucking normal please.)
Include ______ in the story (a singing frog, an explosion of nerds, at least one cameo by joffery, etc.)

Some of it will be funny. Some of it sad. Some of it dramatic. Some requests might be combined with others if I get a lot or I think it might be better that way.

Still: Let's see how creative spam can get, and if I can keep up with it.

No Guns or Ammo

Depends on setting and the level of realism involved whether or not guns are appropriate, prolific, and powerful. My own post apocalypse setting for instance has lots of guns and ammo. On the flip side, its set in the near future with creatures and characters that can eat several bullets and remain standing. Ergo, guns are appropriate, setting was made with them in mind.

Versus, say, the extremely stereotypical zombie horde post apocalypse. Having lots of guns and ammo there defeats the fear of facing a horde of zombies. Now if all you had was a hand gun with a halfway depleted clip, that makes lots of noise, and a crowbar, and you + you buddies had to slip through an apartment with a couple hundred of the fuckers... Well... Suddenly it becomes a choice mechanic: Save your friend but attract the horde, or leave him to die as bait for the horde so you and the rest can escape.

Guns are always dependent on setting.

Roleplaying characters with Physical Disabilities

gaudi said What Brovo said sums it up.

Honestly, the hardest ones I can think of are the ones that hit your sensory inputs. That is: Seeing, touching, smelling, hearing, and tasting. There's also varying degrees of "difficulty" that can be most easily discerned with sensory input deprivation. For instance: Someone who is colour blind merely can't see colours, everything is a shade of grey. It's interesting to write and not too difficult: When someone describes the colour "blue" to you, you don't see blue, you see another shade of grey. The next difficulty step is sight damage of some sort, such as near sightedness that turns everything beyond an arm's length away from you into a blurry mess of indistinguishable blobs, it usually makes you dependent on glasses or other such ornaments in order to see properly.

Finally, you have total blindness. This is basically flicking the switch from "hard" to "borderline impossible" for most stories, though especially action-oriented tales. Everything that has a visible descriptor no longer functions as a description for a blind person. After all, a blind person cannot visually comprehend anything--how bright something is, colours, texture unless they can touch it, and so on. This is made even harder if the character was born blind, because then, well, they literally have no memories of sights at all to pull from, and so when someone says that something is a big blue ball, they have utterly no frame of reference for what that is beyond the feeling of a ball in their hands.

Since everything in writing is some form of description, to take away a sensory input is to deprive the writer of a significant portion of their ability to produce descriptions. Imagine trying to describe how something looks without being able to use the visible spectrum at all and that's blindness. Both Gat and I learned the hard way that while intriguing it was often more trouble than it was worth.

Refresh Bug

When I load a page in RPG fresh by opening a link or otherwise, RPG loads fine.

When I refresh a page I'm already on in either Firefox or Chrome, I get this.

Pic

Weird. Anyone else getting this or is this localized to me?