Brovo

The BannerMoth Saga: A Spamfic.

Act 1; Scene 3

Blood Price

Smiral and CIL enter the Tavern, looking about the place it was of a fairly stereotypical construction. There was a small set of stairs to the upper class lounge, though the majority of the space was occupied by tables and chairs for the commoners. There was another flight of stairs leading up to a set of rooms, though that wasn't her focus this day as she sits down at a table and stares in an absent minded fashion at the amethyst between her fingers. She wrinkles her snout as CIL sits down beside her, looking about the room in a confused fashion. "Aaaand why are we sitting on our asses?" He asked as Smiral slaps him upside the head. "To figure out what this thing's worth, we're meeting an associate of mine."

They watch as a king cobra slithers in through the door, hissing at the bartender as he backs away. Slowly snaking his way up to a chair opposite of Smiral, his black, soulless eyes stare at the gem with a piqued interest. Notable, there was hints of technology buried underneath his skin, and the way his eyes moved was unnatural. CIL giggles uncontrollable as one of the eyes blatantly lagged behind the other anytime the cobra looked around the room, with Smiral slapping him over the back of his head once again to shut him up. "Zed, tell me why someone would want this so badly." She flashes out the Amethyst, and the snake's lips seem to curl upwards as his forked tongue flicks out with glee. "Ssssa Gem, Pretty gem, Thousand cuts gem, sss... Mussst examine... In machineessss... Back in my laaab..."

Smiral pockets the amethyst once more as a pair of figures enters the tavern. The sight of them immediately causes everyone in the tavern to flee to the next floor, or even jump out windows, save for Smiral, Zed, and CIL, and a select few others either too brazen or too stupid to run. Looking backward, Smiral spots two people staring at her from the doorway, and she immediately recognizes who they are: Joroceros, and Toellner. The Rhino, and The Desert Fox. The Cleaner, and the Professional, of the Moth Boss.

The desert fox nods to Joroceros, who starts walking towards Smiral. A tall and large gentleman, heavily muscular, and yet, special emphasis was put on the gentleman part: He wore a pair of reading glasses and a dark red business suit with a black tie tied in the most sophisticated manner imaginable. His gloved hands extend out into a handshake for Smiral as she eyes them, unimpressed as she gets out of her chair and keeps the table between her and Joroceros. CIL looks at Joroceros's horn and giggles once again. "He's horny, hahahahah--" With a single smack from the Rhino, CIL goes parasailing through the air into the bar. "I was waiting for someone to do that to the little shit." Smiral stated, though she was still smart enough to keep the table between them. "I do that every time someone uses such an abused quip of my mighty pride." He plainly replies.

It was at this point that three more figures rose up from the opposite end of the Tavern. Captain Ferret, Mayor Badger, and Doivid the Armadillo. Doivid was dressed in a casual turtleneck sweater and a pair of grey slacks, with black dress shoes and a pair of glasses over his eyes that could not contain the soft, caring look that easily absorbed whatever poor feelings one would have looking into them. The tension in the room quickly filled as Smiral and Zed get trapped between them. The Desert Fox steps forward in his dark red suit and black tie. At his waist was a rapier, and his glare matched that of Captain Ferret. "It takes a special kind of stupid to name yourself Captain." Ferret chuckles as he unsheathes his arming sword. "Maybe."

Joroceros takes his reading glasses off and loosens his tie, letting it drop to the floor as the Rhino closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Ever seen a freight train?" He says with a grin as he flexes his muscles and glares at Mayor Badger. Without warning he then charges through the table, shattering it as Smiral and Zed dive away in opposite directions. Smiral looks back as she sees the Desert Fox over-top of her, swinging downward only for an arming sword to get in the way, just inches away from her throat. "She has something my lady Idle wants." Toellner says with a glare as Ferret struggles to hold the rapier away from Smiral's throat with his arming sword. "Ever tried talking for it?!" Toellner looks at Smiral, who had already slipped out from underneath the blades. "Will you hand me the amet--" Smiral spits at him. "Fuck no." She then runs out of the tavern with Zed and CIL in tow. "See? This is why I don't waste my time with words." Toellner says as he brings his rapier up to chest height and spreads his feet out, readying to duel. "Now where were we?"

Duel: Joroceros & Dargo

Joroceros charged past the rest to go after Dargo, ramming into the table which they had been sitting at earlier he shattered that as well. "FREIGHT TRAIN! CHOO CHOO!" He howls with incomprehensible rage, his accent taking on Stallone-like attributes in being completely unintelligible. Mayor Badger on the other hand tosses his monocle aside as he extends his claws, growling lowly. "Badgers don't give a fuck." He boasted as he swing out and cut Joroceros's arm. While blood trickled down it, Joroceros didn't seem to care as he only grew angrier, rhino rushing Dargo into the wall as Dargo wrapped his hands around the Rhino's face, keeping the horn away, gritting his teeth in frustration. Joroceros then grabs the badger and throws him like a football onto the ground behind himself. Chuckling, he steps forward as the badger struggles to get on his feet, though he smirks as a little blood rolls down from the corner of his mouth. "You know, you should watch your back." He says as Joroceros turns and looks behind him, seeing nothing. Dargo then takes the feint and leaps at Joroceros, shoving one of his claws deep into his chest. "AND YOU SHOULDN'T TURN IT TO ME!"

In that moment Jorick howled in a mixture of pain and rage, hitting the badger with enough force to send him through the ceiling up onto the second floor. Dargo coughs in pain as Jorick staggered his way to the second floor, seeing Dargo cradle an arm he grins. "You're too small to kill me. Foxxie'll fix me right up when I get home." He feels someone tap his shoulder, turning once more, though this time listening for Dargo. There, this small armadillo stood, staring up at him. Jorick stares back at the armadillo, blinking in confusion as he slowly began to calm down. Without warning he then grabs his chest, the wound becoming far more significant while he was calm, falling through the hole in the floor onto his back. There, he stared at the ceiling, smiling a little as the armadillo looked back down at him. "... What... Bullshit..." Doivid merely smiles back as Jorick breathes his last.

Dargo slowly gets onto his feet, still cradling his arm he nods in appreciation to Doivid. "I didn't want to kill anyone..." Doivid whispered with a frown. "I didn't think you'd kill him by making him calm either, but I guess rage sustains him." Dargo replies, as the two start going back down the stairs to try and help Ferret.

Duel: Captain Ferret & Captain Toellner

Meanwhile, at the same time the battle with the Rhino was going on, Ferret and Toellner were exchanging blows. Toellner's superior reach and dexterity was keeping Ferret from going on the offensive. Swing after swing, jab after jab, over tables and occasionally under them until Toellner finally got his lucky break with tripping Ferret over the leg of a chair. "AHA!" Toellner grinned, jabbing out towards Ferret and burying the tip of his rapier in the Captain's shoulder. Ferret squeeks in pain, then kicks out Toellner's legs from underneath him, the rapier falling to the side as the Ferret tackles the Fox and bites Toellner's snout. "Foxes will never outsmart Ferrets!" Toellner flips Ferret over, and starts repeatedly punching his face. "Foxes are bigger and more cunning!" The Ferret then brings his paws up and grabs both of Toellner's wrists. "Foxes' can't write for shit though." Toellner stares in confusion as one of the few remaining in the Tavern, a Hawk wearing a beanie perched up above the bar stares and laughs. "HA! Meta!"

Toellner then notices his comrade's body fall through the hole in the second floor, it was at this point that Ferret grabs Toellner's tail with his legs and pulls, causing Toellner to fall off with a yelp as Ferret scrambles on all fours back to his two comrades going down the stairs. Toellner growls, and picks up his rapier, and Joroceros' glasses. "This isn't the last you've seen..." His eyes then wander to Joroceros. "... Of either of us." Without any further words, he dashes out of the tavern, leaving his dead comrade on the floor. Doivid looks at his two comrades and shakes his head as he walks over to the shattered table which once held their belongings, finding his doctor's bag nearby. "You two are insane." The two grin at each other as Badger stares at the barkeep. "TWO BEERS!" Ferret interjects. "ONE BEER, ONE WHISKEY!"

---

Back in Idle's headquarters, she sees Toellner return and frowns. "Where is Joroceros? Where is my Cleaner, Toellner?" Toellner bows his head humbly, saying nothing as Idle sighs. "I see... Who did this. Who killed my favourite cleaner." Toellner tosses Jorick's glasses onto the dining table. "Mayor Badger." Idle shakes her head. "If my hitman was available I'd send him, but he isn't... It seems we'll have to take care of them ourselves. Toellner, I want you to take Gold Marble and wait until one of them is alone. Then kill him. I don't care if it's Captain Ferret or Mayor Badger, just make sure to kill one when they're separated... In fact, I might know just the way to do it..."

To be continued in Scene 4.
Smiral learns about the Amethyst.
Dargo goes into the Lion's Den.
Ferret and the "mysterious" Otter attempt to find Smiral to retrieve the amethyst themselves.
Hopefully I can do more with High Beanie Hawk.
Someone might die. We'll see if the Dice Gods are feeling merciful.

Quick Question to save pants

Kaga said
It's probably none of my business, but since I'm pretty sure you're not female I'm dreadfully curious as to how you got blood stains on your pants.

I work at Home Depot on the freight crew. I'm surrounded by the most fantastical pieces of evidence for post-abortions that the immigration system has ever delivered unto my doorstep the mentally challenged. Now take these people who have the mental capacity of fucking retards six year olds and put them in a place full of sharp, heavy objects, and machinery that if used incorrectly, easily results in user injury or, rarely, user death.

I deal with bloody people at least once a week at this point. If we had a "free of workplace accidents" sign, we'd be lucky to hit one month without some fuckit handling a pipe incorrectly without gloves and slicing open his hand. It's rarely anything we need to call an ambulance for, but it's often enough to at least spread a little blood around. I'm one of the only properly first aid trained people there so I'm often the first one there to calm the poor, non-brain-functioning man-child down, and give him a bandage for his overly sized boo boo.

Yesterday it was somebody who somehow, miraculously, thought it was a good idea to climb up an unsecured ladder carrying an eighty pound object called "box filled with boxes'o'nails." Then became surprised when he inevitable fell down, and a couple of the boxes burst open.

Delicious.

Sorry Scotland.

darkwolf687 said
Eh? I thought it was a scenario where de jure she has power (I believe one of her powers is the authority to refuse to legitimise a law, as she has to sign it does she not?), but de facto she can never use it because parliament would remove the monarchy if she did. I was under the impression she held the same authority in the commonwealth realms but for the reason that they would remove her as their figure head she couldn't use it.

We have the Governor General, who represents the Queen. He or she does technically have the authority to veto a law/bill, but it would be considered a gross misuse of power to do so and there's only a select few times where it's even happened here that I can recall, because democracy. Basically the only way the populace here would tolerate him vetoing a law is if it was extremely controversial and there were questions about whether it was legitimately passed or not. Otherwise it's subverting democracy, which would be bad. Very bad. So his post is primarily just to oversee the house of commons to make sure it keeps its shit in the cage and not on random pedestrians, and to listen to the queen go "Canada? What's a Canada?"

Sorry Scotland.

Magic Magnum said
Eh... maybe.Canada is only still influenced by the Queen cause we left peacefully.America left with a pool of blood and the Queen has zero influence in their legal system anymore.

Magnum, the Queen has no influence in our justice system. She's just a figurehead mate, no real power is hers. The only reason she still has her royalty is because of tourism and patriotism.

The commonwealth still shows fealty to the queen in an official manner (though purely ceremonial). Yes, this includes Australia and New Zealand. Independent Scotland would have still been part of the Commonwealth, ergo, still have queen.

Legend of Renalta 2: Reborn

GreenGoat said
It matters because its the difference between me riding down the orc smoothly or trampling down other people just because there wasn't enough room to maneuver properly. Or maybe I'm thinking about it too much.

... You can fit...

The BannerMoth Saga: A Spamfic.

Info

Next entry
3 New characters (possible more.)
A rivalry will begin between two of the more cunning animals...
Someone will die.
The flames of war will be stoked.
Smiral will discover the purpose of the amethyst. (Possible may be pushed to scene 4 depending on how chunky 3 is.)
A Valkyrie will appear...

Quick Question to save pants

Awson said
Soak it in Coke ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Works for rusted car engines. Will totes work for pants.

Quick Question to save pants

Best formula for getting blood out of pants. Go.

The BannerMoth Saga: A Spamfic.

Cpt Toellner said
Name- [Insert Rank] [Insert Bad-ass first name] ToellnerFaction- The Moth Confederacy.Species- Special- Battle-weary veteran, knows the lands of both Moth and the treacherous Badgers. Fiercely loyal to the Moth family.

Hey look, an assassin for the Moths in the next scene...

Also, death is coming soon.

The BannerMoth Saga: A Spamfic.

Act 1; Scene 2

”It had been a couple hours after the initial event as this aged raven recalls when the first significant stroke came not from the Badgers...”

Sleuthing about in the darkness of an alleyway, the scampering of several cockroaches marked the badly mutilated corpse of someone who had been struck by the lightning of a Valkyrie. Smiral wrinkles her nose in disgust at the scent, stepping around the remnants of what was once a turtle, now most certainly delicious to the hecklers who lapped up his blood. The town’s one menace had been slain ages ago, and yet, his stench still perforated this place.

Smiral’s hands slowly glide over the brick wall, looking for the hidden switch she had been told about. “That otter better not have lied about this shit.” She murmurs as her whiskers twitch with the all too familiar click of a passage opening. “Hehehe... Well what do you know...” Cackling quietly, she slouches over as she enters the small passage, which had likely been designed for the lithe bodies of mice rather than her own, more muscular frame. Indeed, one could say that Smiral’s black pants and shirt—which was tucked into her pants—went well with the dark, with only a single belt cinched around her waist to keep her shirt from bellowing out anytime she had to jump from one place to another. Some might question why she appeared so bland, her usual response was “what kind of idiot wears eight belts.”

Slipping inside, she quickly checks herself over. Smoke bombs, check. Rope and grappling hook, check. Billy club for the bitches, check. Grinning avariciously she quickly moves through the tunnel into the complex, upward onto a second floor where she found herself in a laundry shoot. Quietly pawing it open, she slips inside. It was a luxurious compound, her eyes opening widely at the sights and sounds of obscene wealth that drowned out her typically cool demeanour. Shaking herself out, she then slips about the halls until she finds her target, dining quietly in a hall with her solitary crow watching over her. Licking her lips she spots the target: A small amethyst, resting on the corner of the table.

”Perfect.”

Without hesitation, she throws a smoke bomb into the room. Following it quickly as it exploded, she reaches for the amethyst amidst all the smoke, instead grasping Idle’s hand, which had already clung to the amethyst. “LET GO!” The Moth Boss screeched as Smiral does what any coyote does in such a situation: Bites Idle’s arm, hard, right at the wrist. Twisting and rending she then feels the feathery wing of Gold Marble smack her away, sending her sprawling through the air several feet before landing on the ground, outside of the smoke. She could hear the shrieking rage of the Moth Boss, scrambling to her feet she looks in her hands to see the Amethyst and some splatters of blood on her gloves. Grinning viciously she dashes out of the room back into the halls, hearing the screams of the Moth Queen demanding her head on a platter.

Still. That wasn’t her main problem.

The main problem came to trying to navigate back to the laundry shoot. Looking around in confusion she realizes she had lost track of where she had gone. “Ah... Shit. Um...” She looks left, down a hall, then right, down a hall. Every hall looked the same in her eyes, being moreso a thug and not a thief, she wasn’t much one for an escape plan. Still, her indecision was broken upon hearing the wall behind her getting blown apart. There was Gold Marble, his feathers seemingly as sharp as the executioner’s blades that now reflected in her own eyes as she panics and flees down the left hall.

There at the end of the left hall was a window, she could jump out of that! Escape was in sight! An undead fellow steps out of his room into the hall, looking down to see the enraged Gold Marble and the terrified Smiral he attempts to step in the way, only to see a grappling hook fly through the air and impale itself into his chest. “Derp?” He says with confusion as Smiral flicks a switch on the grappling hook, being pulled out of harm’s way just in time as Gold Marble swings his wing, unleashing half a dozen sharp fletchette-like projectiles. Flipping overtop of the mook she hides behind his large frame, seeing the fletchettes impale themselves into the mook. One of them pierces his back and cuts Smiral’s cheek deeply, yelping in pain she leaves the grappling hook behind and bolts for the window once more.

Jumping through the window, she reminds herself how stupid an action movie cliché she was doing as she falls several feet back down into the alley, bouncing off of a trash bin before rolling into the alley. There, she lied motionless, not saying a word as Gold Marble came down and investigated. There was nothing out of the ordinary, just another corpse to be eaten by the cockroaches as he retrieved the amethyst. “No simple thief gets to have my soul.” He hoarsely comments to himself before suddenly, and without warning, he feels a billy club smack him over the back of the head as Smiral hops onto his back and starts wailing away at his head. “FALL UNCONSCIOUS YOU CLICHED PIECE OF SHIT!” She screeches as Gold Marble silently stumbles about, trying to knock her off.

Eventually, Gold Marble rushes himself into a wall, buckling it and sending the both of them sprawling into a dark warehouse. There, Smiral spends a few seconds coughing up half a lung as blood from her cheek rolls onto the floor, looking around she notices she didn’t have the amethyst. Then again, neither did Gold Marble as she saw him searching about frantically for it. Breathing softly, she throws her last smoke bomb at him, leaving him blind as she takes off out of the warehouse and back out onto the streets. Fuck that, the crow could have his little purple gem.

Then, just as she felt she had escaped, she sees someone swing into the alley with his tail. Landing in front of her, he chuckles and spreads his arms out wide as a sort of introduction. “I am CIL! The one and only CIL! And I can--” Smiral interjects. “Fuck off.” Brushing past him, she starts walking for the local tavern, only to get smacked across the back of her head by his tail. Turning with her billy club out and heckles raised, she stops as she sees the shining purple gem in his hands... The amethyst. Looking at it with a small smile, she motions in the direction of the tavern. “What do you want you little shit?” CIL shrugs. “An adventure! Fun! And this shiny bobble promises adventure!” Smiral snatches it out of his hands and pockets it. “Yeah. It does. Just don’t say anything stupid and you can stay.” CIL stares at her, his lips twitching as he fought back his own nature, at least for the time, to make a pun.

Still. The two start walking out towards the tavern as they hear one loud shriek of rage echo throughout the entire town. CIL looks back with his eyes wide in fright. “... M-Maybe that was a bit of a bad idea?” He says, his tail quivering as Smiral smacked the back of his head. “No way. This is gonna land me a huge payday... Assuming I can figure out why the Otter wants it so bad.” Her eyes look over the amethyst with intense greed, her grin matching that look in her eyes. “...And if I should charge double...”

---

Back in the Moth Mansion, Idle was having her hand stitched up by her personal doctor. The fox had gray whiskers, a similar vest-shirt combo that most men wore if simply because it stayed out of her way during surgeries. Her needle stitches the wound closed before giving the Moth back her glove. “Here.” Fay says softly, as Idle slowly slips on the white glove to hide the wound. “As always, good work...” Gold Marble returned, growling and frustrated as he was coated in dust with several lumps on his head. “...Now help him... And then, we’re going to send out our personal hitman... Find that little damnable coyote, and find out who hired her... And when I find out...” Her eyes were filled with rage as her hands clench, the stiffness of the new cloth gloves not impeding her whatsoever. “...I will have their heads strewn about my ball room for the guests to use as Tupperware.”