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    1. Dingo 12 yrs ago

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Max looked up at the redhead from where he sat. She was certainly very pretty, if not slightly uncomfortable in her gestures. Though he wasn't exactly sure why she had followed him, at least she was being a bit more civil than the other guy. He sighed, rising to his feet and dusting himself off before accepting her hand, shaking it politely, yet with a firm grip. His hands were actually fairly callused to the touch and there was even a hint of dirt under his fingernails.
"Max." He introduced himself to Cass, "And I guess I'll just have to be a bit more mindful in the future. It just kind of sucks when you try to do something nice and you end up feeling like a jerk for it."

Max reflected on the actual encounter in hindsight. Sure, he'd reacted poorly and he felt kind of stupid for it now, but he was never very good at handling feeling bad. He couldn't explain it, but he hated feeling like he was being… Well, a pretentious dick. He just had no idea how to be charitable without it being confused for pity or considerate without being seen as being contempt.

"For the record, I don't have a butler." He said. For some reason, he felt like that was the most important thing to set straight at that moment, he wasn't entirely sure why, "My parents suggested the idea last year when they were visiting, but it just doesn't make sense to me. I've never really thought of myself as being lazy enough to pay someone to clean my room…"

Max sighed again. A thought occurred to him suddenly that this girl, Cass, might be one of the few people at the school who didn't know who he was. Sure, she knew he was from a wealthy family, but that didn't mean she knew which wealthy family. Max wasn't too sure how he felt about that. Relaxed? Anxious? She was being civil enough, but that was while knowing he was wealthy. Would that change when she knew how wealthy? Or if he was just as poor as her?
Max mentally shook his head clear. Politics and intentions. He hated thinking about that kind of thing. In the end it didn't really matter how well off he was or what her intentions were, her actions would tell him all he needed to know eventually, just as with everyone else, student or otherwise.
It was then that Max acknowledged the announcement over the loudspeaker, threatening detention. It looked like he had no choice but to attend the Opening Ceremony now. He held out the container of food, offering it to Cass.

"Hungry?" Max asked, "I figure we've got to eat and walk at this point anyway and I really can't eat much more."
Not sure of how else to word it, it's all a little jumbled in my head, too.

I guess the idea is; We all think of people as 'him', 'her', 'he' or 'she', it's impossible not to. We point at people and say "Did you see what he did?" the same way we say "Check out the blonde at the counter." What I'm curious to know is, can we look at someone and say "Look at him" without 'him' automatically translating into: Male, Masculine, Bread-Winner, Physical Strength, Limited Capacity for Expressing Emotions, etc, etc. Is it possible to look at someone and see 'him' or 'her' without any preconceived gender roles being attached to them? Can someone look at a girl and not immediately think 'Less capable, physically' and reserve judgement until they can actually see what a person is capable of or what sort of person they are?

It just seems that the people I've met have to consciously ignore socially constructed gender stereotypes, but can someone naturally, without conscious effort, regard someone as equal?
Is it possible to look at someone and regard them without paying attention to their gender? I guess this is a question of equality, but does anyone find that they look at someone and don't think of them in terms of 'male' or 'female'?
I understand thinking of someone as 'him' or 'her', since that's more of a means of identifying someone, the same as 'blonde' or 'brunette', but is it possible to look at someone and think 'him' without also thinking 'male' or 'guy' and vice versa?

Sorry, random contemplative moment.
I'd be down for that ^_^
Jumpstyle makes me think someone looked at a rave or dance party and thought "Needs more Riverdance…"
Also, I wish I had spent my youth learning the Melbourne Shuffle as opposed to breakdancing, which I could never get the hang of anyway. You need someone to bust into a freeze for you to flip over? I'm your guy, just don't ask me to 6-step...
Makes me think of Hotline Miami.

I can relate to this in some ways.

I was studying towards my BSecEd, teaching prac lessons and even tutoring Special Needs kids in reading (my focuses were English and Social Sciences), but it was around the point of my third year when I was teaching Gr 8 English and Gr 10 Social Studies that I realized I had no idea whether I actually wanted to teach. Public speaking made me anxious, I wasn't as invested in it all, my lesson plans made me feel confused and overwhelmed…

I ended up switching majors twice to try to figure out what I wanted, switching to a BArts first and then BPsych. Neither really caught my attention (namely because a Psych degree would require at least a Masters in order to make me even somewhat employable and my student loans were bad enough), so I took a breather for a while. Since then I've moved to the States, had jobs in retail and even ranching and all of that and eventually came to realise that I was more comfortable with 1 on 1 tutoring than teaching a class of 30+ kids. It was also during my time studying BArts that I remembered my passion for languages whilst learning Anglo Saxon English, helping me reinforce my desire to become a Language Tutor rather than a High School Teacher.

Of course, now I just have to find a way to pay for U.S. tuition fees and a nearby Uni that offers more than just Spanish. Ideally German :P

Honestly, if I were to give my two cents (which you can take or leave), I would say it would be worthwhile enrolling Part-time to find your passion, possibly switching to Temp teaching. Keep in mind, I have no idea what your personal or financial situation is, so this opinion may be useless to you.
Honestly, though, there would only be two possible outcomes: You discover that it is your passion and switch careers (ain't nothing wrong with that) or you learn that it isn't for you and keep searching whilst still teaching to pay your way (nothing wrong with that, either).

As for the prayer side of things, I can't help you there. Honestly, I hope that the prayer helps you think over possible alternatives and options that you hadn't previously considered, opening up new possibilities, but other than that, I've never been much for praying. I'm more of the kind of guy who flips a coin, looks at the result and then goes with my gut feeling, being the indecisive Agnostic that I am xP

And don't worry about the fact that you feel like you've passed up your opportunity by accepting your scholarship. My wife was three years into her Graphic Design course when she realised that she wasn't passionate about it and ended up switching to a BSci degree, majoring in Wildlife Biology. This was with her parents helping her with student loans. She eventually went on to graduate with Honours. (I think that's a big thing? I have no idea. American Colleges confuse me sometimes xD)

Anyway, I hope any of what I said helps at all ^_^
This video is the first thing I have seen that has made me legitimately curious about seeing Wolf of Wall Street but not curious enough to actually watch it.
Remember kids, context matters.

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