Halo

Hey.

My road has a pothole in it. Socialism is a lie.

I suggest you post this in the FOX News forums. See what happens.

Ouch.

Doivid said
this is more like what I was looking for, not the woah angry blowback. Then again, I could have said it more tactfully. 8DYou may not want people to think that, but you can't stop it. What you can do is look at why people react like that, critically, and determine if it really is some fault on their part, or if you get that reaction a lot, what you may be doing that contributes to it. I thought because I'm not all involved in your life you could take it as relatively unbiased, but I think it's a sore subject for you at this point.And I'll level with you, this is based on what I've known of you since I came to spam. The parts of your post I pointed out (I did read the rest, just more of a skim tho) were just signifiers of something I'd already noticed.and hey, if that is something you do, it's just something you gotta work on. It's not a terrible sin.Look at us getting somewhere now. I'm proud of us, halo.

It might have been defensive, but not angry. I'm lying in bed having barely slept for two weeks, I really don't have the energy to getathat angry. What I did was defend myself and my views against something that wasn't constructive criticism based on heat I said, but a prejudiced assumption based on year-or-two old posts.

David, you don't know me. You've seen brief glimpses of me in a public forum where I have a persona. It's fairly senseless to make assumptions about me based on some kind of bullshit psychoanalysis based on forum posts, and not on the words I'm actually writing - those you didn't, or barely, read. Control is a sore point for me, but not because of my controlling of others; only by one person have I ever legitimately been criticised for for that, and I paid greatly for my mistakes. I learned from it, and I eventually apologised to them, just as they apologised for the hurt they'd done me and the times they'd controlled me. It's a sore point because of what I have seen happen to others, from others. I've been the emotional crutch of more than a few rape and sexual assault victims, and those who force control on themselves through self-harm and other means. Control is something I am very familiar with. Yes, its a sore point, but not for the reasons your bullcrap psychoanalysis came up with, and now I'm forced to share things about myself that I didn't want to to discredit those accusations of yours.

So, yknow, congrats, you intentionally baited and tried to humiliate and condescend a tired 17-year-old, and you succeeded, just as you have done before. Yeah, I am a little angry about it, and I've put far too much time and effort into replying to this crap, but once again: oh well. It is what it is.

Ouch.

idlehands said
Spam loves shitstorms too.

Yep. Runs in Spams veins. Hopefully it doesn't get cholera.
Look, my, uh, "reputation", or whatever you wanna call it, here has waxed and waned a lot. I really don't mind if a couple of late-night posts get people thinking badly of me again, at least something will have happened. Not gonna pretend it was my secret plan all along or anything, but it's a nice bonus. I post seriously, write long messages, make lots of threads that lots of people can engage with (share your stories, or advice threads, or "lol staying up all night" easy-to-relate-to ones) because they get people talking, and debating, and thinking, and I like talking to people who read and think and share their minds and stories. As long as people are doing that, this place, and it's community stay alive. So what if my bad judgement here gets me a bad 'rep' with teh trendy kidz, it asks people to think, post, comment, whatever. That's why I didn't just make this thread about male vanity, and instead started thinking about it more, and then wrote the long beginning post with my thoughts and feelings in the moment laid bare, and asked others to do the same.
And this post will most likely get more "stop writing so much, how dare you give a shit and put thought into things", or "oh yeah this was totes your master plan, yeah right!" despite me explaining why I write a lot (admittedly, also because I can't sleep) and saying that my intention was not ever "create a shitstorm to make activity LUL I'M SO SMURT". But oh well. Just being me.

Ouch.

Doivid said
I'm just hangan out here tonight and you get the benefit of my company. :) But no, my point was more the level of investment, not the literal act of responding.I think you're seeing negativity everywhere, but you need to take constructive criticism w/o getting all in a tizzy. And anyone reading this would see you being tl;dr and all teh personal attacks. You need to remember that not every exchange you have needs to be about one-upping or posturing. you feel me son?also plz, halo, you know you you're not one to call people condescending right? You do know this? Just checking.I never said I was handling this all super maturely or anything, just that I was being honest with you and have no agenda in my posts.

Yes, I see being told I want to control the people in my life as negative. Yes, I accept constructive criticism, but I don't do it blindly. If someone told me I care too much, I'd accept that; it's true. If they said I can be arrogant, I'd also reluctantly accept that. But if someone refuses to listen/read any of what I've said, then makes assumptions and criticises that are against the core of my ideals, then yes, I want to clarify myself and discredit that accusation. That's not unreasonable, and it's not taking as too personal - I don't want people here to think of me that way, because that's not who I am. That's not posturing, either. I know you won't view it that way, and that's fine - maybe I'll get another "ugh too much words, stop butthurting errywhar". At least I'll have clarified where I stand and how I feel.

Ouch.

idlehands said
I also enjoy flirting but it means nothing because I'm married.

Tried to sleep; failed; and I'd rather be known as the guy who writes/cares too much (oh, the horror) than the guy who wants to control all the women in his life, so it's worth it in the end. Plus, shitstorms and rants = activity, which is a bonus. Spam loves mockery. xD

Ouch.

Doivid said
LOL>"ur putting too much thought">all these wordscalm down halo, it was an observation. You put yourself out there for it, so don't be a little bitch about it and just take it as constructive criticism.also no, I didn't do the whole reading the whole point thing because after I got through those parts I knew the rest was just rationalizing. And I appreciate the compliment, but I didn't spend a lot of time analyzing. It was the first thing that jumped out at me....in hindsight I realize this is why I always used kid gloves around you. just assume I'm doing your yearning thing or w/e, pls no more tl;dr.

In the same say I put myself out for your comment, you put yourself out for a response. >_> so please, be more condescending. Obviously it's the person who didn't bother to read the post, then complains and patronises when they're corrected about wrong assumptions, that's the mature and reasonable one here.

Ouch.

mbl said
Does this "i just like some flirtiness in my friendships" apply to both men and women? If so you may be choosing the wrong word to describe this, unless you are bi, because by my definition flirting is banter suggesting sexual interest. If you really do mean flirty by my definition, then I can't think of a response to this thread that I don't think would hurt your feels.

Yeah, I'm bi, but many of my guy friends are a little freaked out when other guys flirt with them, so I don't. They're still my best friends.
And really, my feelings are only gonna be hurt if your criticisms have already been addressed/clarified in the thread, 'cause that means you're not listening to what's being said and are judging me based on other prejudices. Otherwise, go for it - I asked an open question out of curiosity, not only for verification and pats on the back (although it wasnt meant to be about me, but instead you and your relationships). Just don't take me defending myself or clarifying things as being offended, though.

Ouch.

Doivid said
based on your op, ofc> feel a little hurt or offput or whatever>dies or gets suppresses? taking it that personally or phrasing it as if it's being done to you is a sign of wanting to control it. There's no reason to feel those things or think of it that way. no offense tho, just bein realtalk here.

Don't you think you're looking a bit too much into the language patterns of a sleep-deprived 17-year-old typing this out on a phone at 5.30 in the morning? You're ignoring the content of the point, what I actually said I meant throughout the post, in order to scour choice of language in a couple of sentences.
The vast majority of the people I'd trust with my life, I don't have any sort of flirting dynamic with. The girl I have a crush on, I have no flirting dynamic with. It's unimportant; I have other, more interesting things to talk about with the people I care for than just flirting. And as someone who has friendships he doesn't even want to be flirty in, I don't view it as something being "done" to me. It simply is as it is, because people, and relationships, are all different.
That doesn't mean, however, that it doesn't have an effect on the way I talk to that person, and in the manner through which I connect; I have to adjust, obviously, just as you said you have to adjust certain aspects of your humour at times. My question was whether other people felt that adjustment adversely affected their relationships, or not.

Now that I've had to justify myself to appease your yearning for pseudo-psychoanalysis of language connotations, would you listen to the meaning of the paragraph rather than connotations of individual words from someone who's just not putting thought into them?

Ouch.

Doivid said
no it just sounds like you want them to act the way you want.if someone doesn't respond to/like some aspect of my humor attitude, I adjust it a little. Some people just are the way they are.

And... where on earth does it say I want them to change that for my sake? As I explicitly said, most of the people I'm closest to on this planet don't have that dynamic with me, and I'm pretty damn content with that. The only thing I said was that I sometimes have to not say certain things around them - which is "adjusting my humor a little", just as you said. Sorta fail to see why asking people if it affects their friendships with others means I want to bend people to act as I will them to.

Still Awake?

Clocks on mountain time act as if they are on mountains by simulating the lower air resistance caused by thinner oxygen levels at mountainous heights. Over a long period of time this can lead to them being faster - even by four minutes, as Smiral's RPG clock is. True facts, guys.

Also, I think my nonsensical ranting is proof of enough sleep deprivation to have right to post here.