Holmishire

Writer of the Month #2: Guidelines

PlatinumSkink, I am sorry it had to be this way.

EDIT: Awww, and to think I almost evaded the double-post.

Writer of the Month #2: Guidelines

PlatinumSkink, I am sorry it had to be this way.

Tribes

::: Spawn white? If I may.

Last Person on Earth

I would probably go on a massive scavenge. Starting at my home, I would collect all my most valuable possessions, memories, photos, etc. Lots of paper for writing and drawing. Then I'd scavenge further and further out across the city, finding the things I'd need like food, large transport vehicles and fuel, generators to charge my electronics, spare electronics to store data. I'd find the houses of those I once knew, even if it takes months of searching, and collect photos and memorabilia of them. Boot up their electronics, collect data, photos, memories from them. All the while, drawing, sketching, writing. Recreating maps of the city, images of all the places. Animating on the computer. After a while, I might study some of the books from the naval base, drive a ferry to the mainland, to retrieve memories from one specific person. Locate government offices to track addresses and ease my search. Still drawing, writing, animating, collecting.

And across a period of years, animating memories. Recreating moments of my life with all the people I loved and missed. Making so much of it that I can forget some of my pieces and rediscover them later. Write dozens of novels, all the stories I've wanted to write and draw and dream. Collect and read hundreds of books.

Already, I have learned that I adapt well. I don't care when I am separated from the people I care about. I can bear solitude, though I of course prefer company. But my greatest regrets are always that I so easily let go. I stop caring about people, I forget why they meant so much to me. My greatest wish is that when I am separated from them, that I could be sad and miss them. And hopefully, after years of this rediscovery of myself and others, perhaps I can attain this perfect sadness and be at peace with myself.

Mahz

Jorick said
Dark times have come to Spam, and I see no light on the horizon.

Sometimes light must come from within, and not from without. Perhaps what Spam needs is a saviour. A lightbringer.

The lightbringer.

Doodlequest: Single Player

Keep that arrow nocked but pointed at the ground and don't draw the bowstring; do this in a way that is visible to the skeleton. This shows that you are cautious but will only attack if provoked.

As it approaches, call out to it, asking it to respond. Keep your voice level, but allow some suspicion to show through.

Writer of the Month #1: Combined Voting

Entry #6: History Guardian

A chipper little story, with a contrasting main duo and an interesting concept. However, I'm not as big a fan of happy entries as some of my fellow regulars, and this entry was as happy-go-lucky as the fairy within it.

The characters felt rather childish, the time-travelers accepting chastise grudgingly as if from a parent and the protagonists turning out rather randomly to be lovers halfway through the story. There weren't really any well-defined motives I could see behind why each character acted the way they did.

In addition, plot points were either cliché (particularly the Hitler one) or abandoned prematurely (the time-travelers saving humanity).

Entry #5: My Dark Savior

It's nice to see how the common folk, the unknown masses, see historical events from time to time.

I liked the writing and the story, and I don't really have more to say than that.

Entry #4: the Pendulum

A nice poem, well rhymed and well structured. Some verses broke the length pattern (assuming there was one) but not enough to ruin the flow.

However, the refrain felt very imposing. Seeing as it shows up four times and each verse contains two "back and forths", it really starts to drag on. Having more stanzas between each could have vastly helped, for as it is the refrain hogs a lot of the poem leaving little for variety and creativity.

Also, it is very straightforward, with little in the way of figurative language and symbolism, which is what gives poetry that extra edge over diction besides rhythm, which can be better found in songs.

This leaves the poem good, but not great.

Entry #3: the Diadochi

l liked this entry. Very descriptive, effective build-up, interesting finale. I liked how the overall desolation was split up with expository revelations on the histories and motivations of each of Alexander's generals.

The writing was good, a balance of description and effect. Varied sentence structures but in no way over the top. Also, I liked the use of parallel sentence structure and the transitions between paragraphs.

Entry #2: A Crusaders Secret

A compelling story, but the writing felt too dry. The sentences were stuffed with words that seemed to have been chosen specifically for their advanced nature, making for a vocabulary that was a bit too advanced to really flow. None of the words were of a nature one would not be expected to understand, but overusing them takes away the natural and familiar feel of more common words. Of course, that which constitutes this familiar vocabulary varies from person to person, so it may be just my personal preference.

Another issue is that the characters didn't feel vastly invested in the story. Sure, the scribe was appalled by the cannibalism, but shortly thereafter, "Oh, so how do you feel about heathens?" the narration simply relates the horrors of the crusades, and we don't feel so much the emotional turmoil (juicy character stuff) as the moral turmoil (great with juicy emotion).

Entry #1 (sans titre)

A good entry, with well-formulated narration and an interesting plot.

However, I couldn't attach myself to this story. First of all, the protagonist felt empty. Whenever he mentioned the possibility of emotion, of regret, he then dismissed it with "But samurai don't care, so I don't care." He didn't feel conflicted, more like he was barely considering what being conflicted would even be like. Though this may reflect the nature of the samurai, it doesn't make for a very compelling protagonist.

Secondly, I don't understand the structure. Are these reports being sent to a commander? Journal entries? Why is he writing them between the moment he is readying himself for an attack and the battle? They seem to just be floating around immaterially, popping up multiple times a day when anything of interest happens.

Why I would not vote for this entry:
1. Poor character depth.
2. Not very captivating, wordy.
3. Little action/drama.
4. Little depth, repetitive.
5. Slow start.
6. Poor local plot.

Why I would vote for this entry:
1. Decent writing.
2. Interesting inner conflict.
3. Good writing, build-up.
4. Good flow + sound.
5. Good writing, character portrayal.
6. Interesting concept.

In the end, my vote goes to the Diadochi, with My Dark Savior as second.

Doodlequest: Single Player

Wave to the nearest skeleton politely from a moderate distance.

Writer of the Month #1: Combined Voting

I've finished my reviews and currently debating between Diadochi and My Dark Savior. I'm going to reread those two, pick one, and add in my reviews.

In other news, I am so happy to see WotM back. It has meant a lot to me over the past two years that I've participated, and I hope it continues as strong as ever! (I would've loved to submit something, but I was in Guatemala for most of the writing period and only found out after my return.)

IT'S A ARMY OF Anorexic SHIERK!

ImANargleHunter said
YOU WATCHED IT

How could one not watch it?