Illumin0sity

Journey to the East

Noah remained quiet against her words, considering if he wanted to sleep or not. Her chuckle brought his attention to her as she answered him. Nodding, he agreed that she may have been comfortable. The bath was something neither of them had for a while and chilled washes in the river on the way to Zeltiva were nothing in comparison to a tub full of steamy water. She pulled away from him patting his bottom, which drew a look of vague yet playful quizzicality from him as he gave her a side-eye, turning to view her as she left him for the bed.

“I’d say so,” Noah answered, turning to view his back in the mirror again, the swirling hurricane on his shoulder shimmering in its silvery and blue hues. He felt he could see it occasionally light up, glinting over like a brief flash of lightning, telling of the activeness of his god in all areas, presence or non.

Elann’s compliment to him resided with him continuously as he looked at himself. He resided near the mirror a few moments longer, completing his examination of himself, before rounding the bed to the side opposite of Elann and sliding under the blankets and then scooting towards Elann to lie close to her on his side, his hand snaking under the blanket to feel her. Noah was looking at her softly, taking in the way her body created mounds underneath the blankets and how her dark hair was apparent against the cool cream colored bed linens. His hand trailed up over her breasts to play with the soft skin of her clavicle, residing there in the meantime. In his heart was a piquing desire for her, though it remained soft yet able to be felt. It was encouraged by his residing love burning warmly for her.

Noah propped himself up onto his elbow and looked down at her, his hand trailing from her collarbone to her throat where he fluttered his fingers delicately on the vulnerable skin. He looked at her caringly.

“Before we got here,” he told her, “I planned to take you to the beach so we could watch the sun rise over the ocean. I figured that would be romantic, right?”

Noah made the plans weeks before their conversation in the tub, the one Elann brought up about him not being romantic enough. There was a great deal on his mind on how to mend things between him and his bondmate, her words and wishes hadn’t fallen on deaf ears, though it may have seemed like it.

Journey to the East

It was true, he forsook other things surrounding him in the moment in order to gauge himself and his health. It was mightily important to and for him, something that was ingrained in him by living in a house full of others whose health and mood could be assessed with looks and smells by those who knew what they were looking for. Truthfully, he didn’t take kindly to being interrupted but that didn’t show here in the instance. Should it have been anyone else aside from Elann, he would’ve promptly ignored them or warned them against interrupting with a simple expressive look.

Elann said she wasn’t tired, asking the same question of him. Noah shrugged his shoulders. While he didn’t feel tired in the moment it was very possible he was just feeding off of Elann’s energy. The nap he took hadn’t been enough to restore him for hours on end. He was still getting over his illness, so it was also possible the bath gave him a small bump in mood that may or may not last. He knew he could fall asleep then and there if he wanted to, all he had to do was lie down on the bed and set his mind to it.

“I’ll stay up with you if you want,” he offered, still rubbing her hands for a moment more. In the next beat one of his hands crept up to release a breeze towards a stray candle, snuffing the flame and causing the corner to fall into darkness. The lantern and fully lit standing candelabra still gave the room plenty of warm light, so one dwindling candle being snuffed was little more than a dent.

The quiet love for her continued to reside within him, warming his core. It was fueled by their contact more so than anything else, a feeling in him that persisted so long as they held one another, regardless of conversation or not.

"Maybe I shouldn't have let you fall asleep in the bath," he said in a murmur teasingly.

Journey to the East

Noah was focused on assessing himself. He could still see the sickness in his eyes, how his hair, though washed, was dull in comparison to it’s usual luster during the springtime. Elann hadn’t seen it often - if at all - but he would gaze at himself a lot, making sure things were in working order and up to par. Mirrors, though shiny, were valuable to him in that they allowed him to see himself and ‘preen’ without relying entirely on what he could see without a mirror’s reflection.

Since he wasn’t expecting her, when she touched him he tensed and jumped slightly in fright. Near instantly he settled back down as she spoke, her voice calming in the quiet room around them. Like her, he was glad to finally have a room to themselves, even if his family were just outside the stone walls and thick door. Elann could feel his already hot body under her chilled hands, and he liked the cool feel of her hands on his bare skin, it was like a refreshing and light massage.

Noah smiled at her words, finding small humor in them. She hugged and kissed him, wrapping her arms about his frame. He took her cold hands in his hot ones and looked at the both of them in the mirror’s reflection. He thought again on him commenting on how small she was, a difference in stature he could clearly see with her pressed directly up against his back. Some days it seemed like he towered over her, while others the difference didn’t seem that great. The reality of seeing it was enlightening.

“Do I?” he questioned in return, looking down at her hands in his. He grew thoughtful for a moment as he looked at them, grasping at them a little tighter in that instance. He was filled with warm remembrance as he thought on their winter in Syliras together. He looked at her through the mirror then. Inside, the warm feeling bloomed softly into his love for her. He rubbed her hand sweetly.

“Are you tired?” he asked, peering at her through the mirror, asking more to see if they would be staying up this night or not.

Journey to the East

The conversation was put to an end by Elann repeating her answer. Like her, he left it alone and comforted her from her embarrassment and making sure she didn’t have to risk falling again with her damp feet on the wooden floors of the bathroom. Noah stood close to her regardless though, waiting for her to take her nightgown before he grabbed the remaining towel and went about drying himself off. The fairness of his skin, while still apparent in comparison to hers, was hued by the orange candlelight flickering on the perimeter of the room. He bid the wetness from his glistening and clean skin with the towel before roughly rubbing the top of his head to dry his hair. Afterwards he tended to the frayed strands of hair with his fingers, giving them some order. He tied the towel around his waist in the end.

Though Elann was ready to go, Noah went back towards the tub and stuck his hand down into the depths to unplug the drain and let the water go on out in preparation for the next person that would take a bath. It would be Jocelyn, so he double checked the reservoir and the flame under it. Satisfied, he went about blowing out all but one candle, darkening the room considerably.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, holding the towel’s tucked corner with a hand.

Noah went towards the sliding doors, undoing the latch and then sliding them open and allowing Elann to step out first. He didn’t close the door, letting what steam and scents of their bath spill out into the main hall. The house was quiet at this point. The only light in the main hall was the ongoing and large hearth centered in the back of the house. The kitchen, too, was darkened, a dim light of the dying firelight from the kitchen’s oven being seen cast on the ground.

Next, Noah went to the hearth and grabbed a lantern that was sitting atop it. He went about lighting it to give them some form of guiding light. As they drifted to the stairs, the lantern in one of his hands, Noah made sure his towel was tucked adequately before extending the free hand for Elann to take as he would guide her up into the equally darkened upper floor. Upstairs, all the bedroom doors had been closed save for Donovan’s, of which candlelight still flickered, casting midnight shadows out into the hall.

In the room, Noah closed the door behind them quietly, shutting them into privacy. He set the lantern in a free spot on the dresser before undoing his towel and hanging it on the bedpost. He left it there for the time being, moving to the standing mirror in order to look at himself. He examined his face and hair, pulled on the corners of his eyes and smoothing out his brows, looking over all parts of his face and larger ears before standing straight and examining his entire front. He turned, looking over his shoulder to examine the scars he disliked, eventually being lost in the swirling of his god’s mark.

Journey to the East

Noah was slowly coming to understand her lack of temperature regulation up here in a climate she wasn’t used to. He knew he probably wouldn’t survive in the deserts of Eyktol, both forms of his were built for the four seasons felt in the north to various degrees. Running hotter than humans as it were, he’d likely overheat without a constant supply of water. These were inferences he was making based off what he’d been educated about Eyktol.

He was a little let down when she withdrew her hands from him, the glimmer of the feeling being felt coming from his end of the bond. The feeling passed as she spoke up though, her words making quizzicality etch across his face. He raised his brow to her, expressing his innocent confusion caused by her choice words.

“I know it’s not our final destination,” he explained to her softly. “I was asking because I wanted to know where you would want to sleep for tonight and tomorrow night. I want to take you to the inn overmorrow. I do want our own place eventually.”

Noah wasn’t sure what made her ask that. They had established plans to buy or build their own home in Zeltiva already, plans he had agreed to and hadn’t changed his mind on despite their bickering and fights during the trip. His feelings on wanting his own space, a space with her, remained prevalent throughout and strongly so. Her questions didn’t irritate him, they simply took him off guard, hence the minorly defensive way in which he answered her questions, as if seeking to remind her of what they discussed lest she had forgotten or believed his mind had entirely changed.

As it were, he wasn’t allowed to dwell on thoughts. Noah didn’t rise with her, residing in the tub a second or more longer. He watched her start getting out of the tub. His gaze was intent enough to notice her leg buckle and her entire body shift slightly. The water seemingly thrashed as he nearly leapt to prevent her from falling and hurting herself. Her fright and brief panic threw him into quick action she may not have expected. He was standing fully with wide eyes as she recovered and got out the rest of the way. The burst of adrenaline in him died away slowly and brought forth the ache of disturbing his still vaguely recovering wounds. It was minimal in his opinion, simply causing him to rotate his shoulders before moving towards the back of the tub and coming down the steps he wished she would have taken.

Noah took her into the hug she sought after to quell her embarrassment. It was brief as he left her to grab the three towels she requested him to get an hour earlier. He unraveled one of them and threw it over his shoulder before extending the other one out for her to take. After she took the towel he doubled back and grabbed her nightgown, holding it out for her to take in exchange for the towel she was drying with.

Journey to the East

The nod was enough for Noah. He took it as a true affirmation of her being warm again, or at least comfortable. With her head laying on his shoulder, he closed his eyes and tried to slip away again. Not necessarily to escape the moment, but to regain any comfort he may have lost when he got out of the tub to fill it. The tub wasn’t as hot as it initially was at the start of their bath but it would do for him, so long as she was comfortable he was fine. Her discomfort would be communicated to him one way or another after all, be it vocally or through their bond. He had wanted to get out of the tub, having told her as much, though she may have been too sleep grogged to comprehend what he said as she woke up. It was fine, he was content with staying in the warm tub a little longer.

He thought she fell back asleep, his mind not looking into their bond to feel the buzz of her thoughtfulness. Elann proved him wrong though, pulling away from him slightly, though her hands remained on him, feeling out his body. He felt as if she was doing something he would do to her, satiating curiosity by feeling up their lover. As she did so, he cracked open his eyes and looked down at her, peering at her through a slitted gaze.

Upon her asking her question Noah straightened up, moving a hand up to push the hair off his forehead and up into a lazy, damp swoop.

“We can go up to the inn if you want,” he said, leaving it up to her in the end. “I was just going to wait to show you. Tomorrow, we should fill out the rest of the papers Aimee got. I’m sure she forgot about them, wanting to take her bath before us.” He smiled at that but it faded quickly as his mind seemingly transitioned.

“Are you comfortable in my brother’s room?” he asked. “Would you want to sleep in my old room instead?”

Journey to the East

“I didn’t want to,” he told her. He didn’t really feel how cold the water was to her and was partly surprised by her reaction. “I want to wash up first, then I’ll fill the bath again.”

With her pushing away from him, Noah’s hands were free to reach up onto the overhead shelf to grab a sponge. He dipped it into the pool of water around them and went about going over his skin with it. He was quiet in his action, clearly still thoughtful as he cleaned himself. When he was done he reached down to the depths of the tub and pulled the plug, starting it to drain. A quarter of it was drained before he plugged it up again, then sliding out of the tub, forsaking the steps in favor of his long legs. After the spout was extended again and the heated basin opened, the hot water flowed back into the tub. It was nearly filled again before the water stopped, the heated basin being empty entirely now.

Noah started to fill the heated water holder with cool water, making sure none of it would flow down into the tub by retracting the spout from the tub and closing it off entirely. With the heater water filled he went back towards the bath, the air in the room wicking away the water on his skin and giving him a distinct chill. There were goosebumps on his skin before he submerged himself in the now warm tub again. The quick contrast was more than welcome, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he settled back into the tub with Elann.

Noah sunk his head under the surface of the water, coming back to the surface and wiping off his face. The curls in his hair had been pulled out by the weight of the water and his strands lay atop his head smooth and lax, slowly springing back as his hair dried.

“Is that better?” he asked of her.

Journey to the East

“I love you too,” he murmured to her as she settled back down into the water from her brief embrace of him.

Elann settled onto his shoulder and fell asleep, something he didn’t quite expect of her. Noah stayed awake, making sure she didn’t slip too deep into the water since she mostly using his grasp as her support in that moment, along with what little hold she had on his body. Noah busied himself quietly as she slept on him, running his hands along her back and sides gingerly or playing with his hands under the water.

A bell passed before Noah felt the need to wake her up, no longer wanting to sit in the slowly cooling bath. “Elann,” he whispered into her ear, “I need to wash up so we can get out.”

He waited to see if she would respond to just his voice in her ear. If not, he would nudge her gently, as if he was wanting to get up without committing to the action.

Journey to the East

As much as Noah tried to understand what Elann wanted from him, there were many things he knew he was missing entirely. The grey shades of her emotions and how absolutes weren’t dealt with easily frustrated him, as someone who was used to the facts of life. He wasn’t ignorant to his failings, especially now that Elann said that he only sometimes did what she wanted from him. He appreciated she plainly said what she wanted him to do, though the convolution was still there. She confessed she couldn’t explain it any better, that it was best that he observe the world around him in order to get what she was trying to say. As she said, there were parts of her that he found attractive, he just didn’t react in the way that would communicate as much through feeling instead of words and actions unique to him.

“A little,” he said, trailing off.

Noah attempted to find the quietness of his mind again, taking a deep breath. It had been effectively disturbed by the brief conversation they had, one he felt was ending now for he didn’t have anything else to say on the matter. He allowed his mood to be mellowed by the touch him and Elann were sharing. Though the mood had been settled, his thoughts and feelings were graced with a tinge of somberness that remained throughout. The Kelvic sought to distract himself, bringing his hands out of the water to gingerly dab on the surface and watch the ripples as they drifted out, eventually dying.

The distraction was short lived as he brought his attention back to Elann, wrapping his arms around her in full and feeling her skin with his palms. Again, Noah kissed her on the temple before settling back, letting the back of his head rest against the edge of the basin in silence.

Journey to the East

It was the mentality that Noah had with Elann. There was a great deal about himself he had changed since their initial meeting, of that was the imposing stature in which he often made himself up to be. Elann had found him at the height of his independence, when his domain was miles wide and he was unchallenged. Over time, he had begun to shrink himself for her, attempting to adjust to being cooped up in her apartment. He wasn’t uncomfortable there, but she didn’t know the extremes of his power over the Bronze Woods. It truly explained why his apartment was barely touched. Before he confessed his love for her, he was barely there. Afterwards, his apartment was little more than a place to store his shiny baubles. All this meant that now he was simply attempting to keep his bondmate and their bond unstressed and satiated, meaning when he felt he did something wrong, there was a depression on him, momentary or lasting.

Elann found herself welcomed by him openly. He stretched out his legs to make room for her there in his chest and overtook where she once sat with his outstretched body. Maybe unknown to her, he appreciated when she spoke slow and calculated, allowing his thoughtful mind to take in what she meant, digesting it at a slow and steady pace. What she said, while making sense in many ways, confused him in others. He waited until she was done talking - and then some - before speaking himself.

“I don’t understand some of that,” he told her. “I take interest in your body; your lips and how you smell, even when we’re not having sex. I desire you and I want to hold you and kiss you all the time.” He paused, thinking. “I’m attracted to you; I like your body, all of it... just some parts more than others: your eyes and your hair. I like your skin, the color, how soft it is.” He paused once more, drawing breath. “I do do what I want with you; holding you and kissing you, so I do not understand when you say, ‘to be attracted to you and to desire to physically do what I want with you’. I do do what I want with you. It doesn't make sense to me,” he said, lightly shaking his head to indicate as much.

Noah was gently spoken in the moment, though the confusion in him was apparent in their bond and how he phrased his words, the inflections in his voice.

“Do I not do what you want me to do to you?” he went, searching for clarification.