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    1. Joos 12 yrs ago

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Potato - wonderful.
Cathy - Keep em coming

Meanwhile, some more info to help you guys:

A note on technology and fashion

Since the Sendai are forbidden to reshape nature with their powers, the technology is largely pre-medieval to medieval. I would say around the First Crusades era. Much of the land is largely feudal or, as in the case of the Pearl Islands, Merchant republics. Peasants use wooden or iron ploughs and have domesticated the horse, ox, sheep, goat, dog, cat, buffalos (in the case of the southern kingdoms). There are no beasts of burden in the Gor Desert though recently there have been rumours of a humped animal in the western edge. The Gors raise goats, however.

With regards to military technology, outside the Gor Desert it is largely uniform. The Menarians have a strategic advantage in most battles due to their longbows. Armour is usually lamellar though the Balenians love to plate themselves heavily. The Turmen kingdoms wear a light armour and rely on horse archers and massed infantry. The Gurgs rely largely on their light cavalry and helberdiers while the Balenians focus on heavy cavalry and mounted knights. The three big kingdoms of the north use catapults during sieges, but the southern kingdoms don't have access to working models yet. It is only a matter of months, though, before they too catch up. Some very skilled craftsmen in Menaria are working on ways to make the bow fire faster but they are quite far from any breakthrough. There are rumours of ways to make fire breathing powder but the secrets are probably hidden away in the White Island library.

The Gors wear very little armour and that too made of leather. They are usually armed with a short bow or a spear or a dagger and carry a round shield of wood and leather.

And as for fashion,

Balenia - The Balenian nobles set the standard for fashion, dressing up in extravagant clothes and hairdos. On the other hand, the Balenian peasants often dress in loud colours and are considered uncouth when it comes to matters of fashion. They are considered even otherwise, but that's another matter.

Menaria - The average Menarian peasant is usually dressed in wool and cotton, the men often bearded, while the nobility wears silk in subdued tones.

Gurgan - They are usually dressed in the finest Gurg wool, mostly with a button shirt and a vest. Some Gurg men wear colored bandannas on their heads. The Gurg noble men usually sport beards without mustaches

Turmens - They wear flowing, loose-fitting clothes made of cotton or silk and the nobility also wears elaborate turbans. The latest fashion among the women is the thin transparent and scandalous shimina. The noble men usually have carefully trimmed pointy beards that they keep oiled and shiny.

Gors - The Gors outfit is usually purely functional, and it is made of a tough fiber called alsade found in the humid southern parts of the desert. It has the property of conserving moisture secreted by the body and keeping the skin cool. The Gors also wear a black head scarf when going into battle.
Craft - Love it, love it, love it! I like how you have portrayed the father. And how the Gors bandage your wounds. That's exactly what they would do even in the heat of battle.

But, of course, technically speaking his mother wasn't murdered and he knows that. She was caught in the crossfire, an innocent civilian who was not supposed to be there. But that's a minor nit.

You are accepted.
Halvtand - You have a gift for writing. I liked it. I like the building tension, I like the way you describe action.

Of course, I have nits. If you can alter your post to make those nits go away, you are good to go.

Nit 1: Rain and her reaction to it. The Gors live in a land where water is the most precious item. They cannot stand to see water wasted. They will fight over a tiny stream. Can you imagine what it would be like for her to stand in the rain? She would at least think about all that free water. It is not a grave error, but I feel you need to know the Gor's reaction to water. To them, one who offers water is a friend for life.

Nit 2: Her name. I am assuming it is Caz dan Ro. I have posted a set of naming conventions for the different cultures and I would prefer it if you followed that. If you absolutely insist, I will let it stay.

Nit 3: The "woe is me" bit. Sounds more like a Balenian noble talking. The Gors are a simple people. That's not to say they are not capable of deep thoughts. What I mean is, their language is like their attire - purely functional. If you can tone down the posh a bit, you will be there!

Edit to Nit 2: It is partly my bad. I said one name. It is actually one-word name.
Good thinking. That will give enough room for character development, but you will have to be careful not to slip into emo-porn. I don't suppose I should warn you about that, judging by the way you have been thinking, but still

And Cathy, you are accepted. You are now our rebel. If you have ideas for an original character, you can leisurely flesh it out now.
C'mon! How mean are you to make her suffer worse?! To a Gor warrior, being tribeless is worse than being childless or spouseless. You are dead, for your tribe. They don't see you, they don't speak to you, they don't hear you. Your own sisters will walk past with you without looking at you. Nothing can be worse than that!
Another thing you must know about the Gors, Halvtand. They are polygamists/polyandrists and they have no concept of marriage or ownership. To them, life is all about existing like a cactus. It is about surviving. They raid because they expect to be raided. It is a way of life. If someone gave them a kingdom to rule, they will walk away from it. They don't understand houses. To them, world is the house and your tribe is your family. Of course, they make sure that people from the same tribe don't sleep together to avoid chances of inbreeding. They also have organic contraceptives.

The women of Gor are probably the most liberated of all the cultures. In contrast, the women of Gurg are the most oppressed
Cathy - that was beautiful. I loved the descriptions and your writing is very visual. It tells me a lot about Thalia, that dream. And using a dream is a good technique.

I notice, Thalia's biggest fear seems to be the loss of her family. I am assuming that is bigger than seeing the revolt fail for her. That's an interesting angle.

Can I ask you to edit your post just once before I induct you as the first member? See if you can weave in her physical appearance and describe her garb without it sounding forced. You have very clearly showed me Thalia's weakness - her fear of failure, of seeing her family and friends executed. Show me a bit of her strength. And I don't mean skills like fighting or speaking, but things like her resolve, her mettle. Again, see if you can weave it in. Need not be too long. Just a little bit.

However, I am fairly sure you are awesome. And I like the name Thalia.
I don't know why we have confusion here.

In order to be in this roleplay, you need to write a sample post as one of the six characters mentioned. The post you write is your application. It should be about 5-6 paragraphs long (about 30-50 words per paragraph). Do not give me a CS, with Name, Age, Skills and stuff like that. Just write a sample post as the character of your choice and show me how good you are.
Cathy - I would prefer it if you posted your applications here. Of course, if you insist, I will read through PMs as well. And you have an idea of what the character is about. So give yourself some convenient starting position and write. Once the IC begins, I will give specific starting positions for everyone

Craft - A paragraph is usually about 30 - 60 words. But more than that, a paragraph is a segment of the scene. It is not the length so much as the content.

Halvtand - Your fears are not unfounded, but if you notice, I have placed her somewhere near the Gor hating miner's apprentice. Also, your IC starting position will be determined by me and I will ensure it so that every character has at least one other character nearby to interact if they choose to.
Hi CraftWork. Well, most of what you need to know is in the first post. In particular, I direct your attention to the "Peoples of the Ethnoi" section and look for the Gurgs, the culture to which the Miner's apprentice belongs to.

CraftWork and Catharyn - I need a post as a character application. A reasonably long post, about 5-6 paragraphs written from the point of view of your chosen character. I want to know how you write and how you can imagine new elements. I want to know that you can take a story and make a new one with it.
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