Later that night, I sit in the rooftop garden of the hotel/command center. Most of the other Mandalorians were already gathered in the Senate Courtyard, including Talion Wren and his clan. I, however, was not really feeling any of it.
I walk out into the garden, smiling when I see Kamari. "Ah, my son! There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere." I come over to him, but my smile fades when I realize he isn't happy. "What's wrong? Aren't you excited for the challenge?"
I look up. "Not really... Father." It still kinda felt weird referring to Corridan that way. He was Kam's dad, yes, but my mind was still that of Hunter Twilight. "I just... this whole thing with Clan Saxon..."
"Don't worry yourself about that business. Mand'alor dealt with it. The traitors have been punished, and those that remain have renounced their former Allit'alor." I sit down next to Kam. "Why, I hear that after the duel, Kaira Saxon herself will publicly pledge herself to the Mand'alor, and be named the new Allit'alor of Saxon in return. Such is the way of the Mando'ade; the past is the past, and the future is what we make of it."
"This is the way." I say quietly. "But I just... I don't feel right about it. Any of it. I'm... " I sigh. "I'm shaken, Father. I used to understand how our society worked, but now... I mean, I was so sure the Mando'ade worked a certain way; that I could trust the people around me would act with integrity and honor. But all this backstabbing and assassination is... well, its causing me to..."
"Doubt." I say, nodding with understanding. "I understand. We live our entire lives in the Mando'ade, being told things are one way. Tradition dictates all of our actions, so much so that we begin to forget that it IS possible to deviate. There are those among us that decide that our way isn't right for them, and so they leave to become Dar'manda. Sometimes, it is a mutually agreed upon path, and the individuals go peacefully. Others, as you saw today, decide to not only abandon tradition, but to lash out at those who still hold true. In the end, all things happen as they should. At least that's what I believe." I pat my son on the back. "For example... I think what happened to you all those months ago... when that Sith nearly took you from us... I think that was part of some greater plan."
I give Kam's father a confused look. "You think me nearly getting my brain fried was part of a plan? Huh. Sounds more like your helmets been dented too many times."
I chuckle. "I'm serious. We Mando'ade do not speak often of religion, but we do have gods. It is my belief that Kad Ha'rangir led you to that confrontation with that Sith because it was part of your journey. You needed that near fatal experience so that you could grow and change... and so you have. Since you returned to us, you have shown yourself to be a much wiser man. Far more caring and and humble as well. The perfect qualities of a Mandalorian Warrior." I lean close. "In that same way, this incident today needed to happen. Moments where we must stop and reconsider our place in the universe need to happen, or else we will become stagnant and fall pray to Arasuum the Sloth."
I sit quietly, listening to his words. "I suppose there is truth in that... but that doesn't change how I feel."
"Of course it doesn't. Only time will make do that. And even then it may only dull your feelings, not actually change them. But you can't dwell on it. Mourn the lost, but march ever onward." I stand up from the bench. "Come on now, boy. We can't miss the challenge. It is an elder of our own clan who seeks to claim the title, after all." I begin to walk away.
After a brief hesitation, I rise to follow Kam's father.
