Damn it all. Victor thought.
He looked around and sighed. Spontaneously finding life after death and going on a magic carpet ride with a dude that turned out to not be as evil as he first appeared, may be a cause of celebration for most people, but to Victor it was true hell.
Alright, maybe being stabbed to death by a girl you just saved would piss off most people, but it's not like Victor wanted to do anything in life. He almost thanked the girl for ending it before he had to make a choice, which put him in an interesting dilemma. On one hand, he was glad he didn't grow up, but on the other hand, he was reasonably resentful at her for killing him, as anyone would. Did that make for plus-minus zero? Unfortunately for him, he ended up in hell instead of a grave. Now he was immortal, and he still didn't want to do anything. Guess he had to hate her, then. Maybe it was his fault for pickpocketing her, but hey - he was bored.
When Victor was falling into hell, he was pretty pissed off. He didn't want to go anywhere, neither heaven or hell. With that said, if he was asked to choose, he would've gone with the third option: deny the existence of both. In all honesty, he could probably have dealt with eternal damnation, but fate (or more accurately, his grandpa) had other plans for him.
Getting killed? Fine. On a magic carpet with 29 other people? Fine. Going to what sounded like Hell academy? That was the turning point. He could deal with eternal damnation because he just had to sit there and take it. Judging from the view he got on the way down, it didn't look that bad anyway. The problem was, he was supposed to attend some school now. Eternal damnation didn't expect anything from you. School, while bearing similarities (entrapment, torturously prolonged activities), school expected you to do well. It wasn't exactly something Victor could get behind.
When the demon was laying out the details, he'd just been laying there. He was still laying there. What was the point of making friends at this time? He'd had a few friends, he didn't like them that much. The only people he could really be 'friends' with were people like him - misanthropic loners who believe that if the entire population of the world spontaneously died, it wouldn't make a lot of difference in the grand scheme of things. He also stole stuff, which would put him at odds with most people, but no one needed to know that.
"Ooh, look at those curves!"
Victor's spirit fell further. He hoped that because he was dead, he'd be done with his biggest problem, but here it was.
"Gramps..." Victor muttered slowly. "You damn pedophile."
His grandfather appeared, a flaming, floating skull, appearing out of thin air. His flames didn't light up anything and no one reacted to his presence whatsoever. A phantom only visible to Victor, much to his chagrin.
"I might be just bones, but there's always a bone in my body for a good girl, if you know what I mean." His grandpa said, chuckling.
"What would grandma say about that statement?" Victor said out loud.
"You can't tell her! She's in hell!"
"What a coincidence, so am I."
"..."
"Speaking of which, why in hell would you put me in hell? Do you know how much I don't want to do anything?"
"Look, you needed to do something with your life, or the lack thereof, and this seemed like the perf-"
"If I wasn't here then would it change anything?"
"Not really." His grandpa said carefully. "But-"
"Then we never had this conversation." Victor said abruptly, turning on his side away from his grandpa.
Victor ignored his Grandpa's excuses and lamented his new immortality. He had the great fortune to be sent to hell and be one of the 30 lucky people to be forced into some kind of academy to do something which he wasn't quite clear on.
"At least there's a good view." Victor said idly.
If he was going to live with it, he'd make the most of it.
((If you're wondering, no one can see his grandpa so he looks like he's talking to himself))
He looked around and sighed. Spontaneously finding life after death and going on a magic carpet ride with a dude that turned out to not be as evil as he first appeared, may be a cause of celebration for most people, but to Victor it was true hell.
Alright, maybe being stabbed to death by a girl you just saved would piss off most people, but it's not like Victor wanted to do anything in life. He almost thanked the girl for ending it before he had to make a choice, which put him in an interesting dilemma. On one hand, he was glad he didn't grow up, but on the other hand, he was reasonably resentful at her for killing him, as anyone would. Did that make for plus-minus zero? Unfortunately for him, he ended up in hell instead of a grave. Now he was immortal, and he still didn't want to do anything. Guess he had to hate her, then. Maybe it was his fault for pickpocketing her, but hey - he was bored.
When Victor was falling into hell, he was pretty pissed off. He didn't want to go anywhere, neither heaven or hell. With that said, if he was asked to choose, he would've gone with the third option: deny the existence of both. In all honesty, he could probably have dealt with eternal damnation, but fate (or more accurately, his grandpa) had other plans for him.
Getting killed? Fine. On a magic carpet with 29 other people? Fine. Going to what sounded like Hell academy? That was the turning point. He could deal with eternal damnation because he just had to sit there and take it. Judging from the view he got on the way down, it didn't look that bad anyway. The problem was, he was supposed to attend some school now. Eternal damnation didn't expect anything from you. School, while bearing similarities (entrapment, torturously prolonged activities), school expected you to do well. It wasn't exactly something Victor could get behind.
When the demon was laying out the details, he'd just been laying there. He was still laying there. What was the point of making friends at this time? He'd had a few friends, he didn't like them that much. The only people he could really be 'friends' with were people like him - misanthropic loners who believe that if the entire population of the world spontaneously died, it wouldn't make a lot of difference in the grand scheme of things. He also stole stuff, which would put him at odds with most people, but no one needed to know that.
"Ooh, look at those curves!"
Victor's spirit fell further. He hoped that because he was dead, he'd be done with his biggest problem, but here it was.
"Gramps..." Victor muttered slowly. "You damn pedophile."
His grandfather appeared, a flaming, floating skull, appearing out of thin air. His flames didn't light up anything and no one reacted to his presence whatsoever. A phantom only visible to Victor, much to his chagrin.
"I might be just bones, but there's always a bone in my body for a good girl, if you know what I mean." His grandpa said, chuckling.
"What would grandma say about that statement?" Victor said out loud.
"You can't tell her! She's in hell!"
"What a coincidence, so am I."
"..."
"Speaking of which, why in hell would you put me in hell? Do you know how much I don't want to do anything?"
"Look, you needed to do something with your life, or the lack thereof, and this seemed like the perf-"
"If I wasn't here then would it change anything?"
"Not really." His grandpa said carefully. "But-"
"Then we never had this conversation." Victor said abruptly, turning on his side away from his grandpa.
Victor ignored his Grandpa's excuses and lamented his new immortality. He had the great fortune to be sent to hell and be one of the 30 lucky people to be forced into some kind of academy to do something which he wasn't quite clear on.
"At least there's a good view." Victor said idly.
If he was going to live with it, he'd make the most of it.
((If you're wondering, no one can see his grandpa so he looks like he's talking to himself))
