Avatar of Sixsmith
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  • Old Guild Username: Haemonculus
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    1. Sixsmith 12 yrs ago

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YipeeXD said
btw, I'm not like... doubting my own writing.... I just don't like my style. I'm a competent writer lol.


I can tell you one thing from reading a few lines of dialogue.

You use ellipses too much. I can do this a lot too to form pauses and breaks, but I think it's a bad habit to make. This coming from the guy who used to put ten ellipses in one sentence. >_> People are going to read dialogue the way they feel the character would, and if that person makes a lot of breaks and pauses, then they're going to connect that. If you find yourself making too many breaks and pauses, simply stop what you're doing and write the sentence grammatically correct. When I read, I usually understand the gravitas of certain situations and read the dialogue accordingly. If you express through the setting and the character's actions, people are going to connect that to how they're speaking. Muddling up speech with unnecessary punctuation can be confusing, can hurt the eyes, and ultimately break the flow of the story, so show how your character is feeling, explain the situation they're currently in, and the audience will connect the rest.

Use modifiers such as breaking speech with periods to show biting sarcasm and extreme diction, as well as ellipses and hyphens to form breaks and pauses very sparingly. Meaning only use them when you think it is absolutely necessary and not when a character is naturally pausing 'cause it's the way they speak. It makes dialogue easier to read and cleaner too.

EDIT: And Hayden doesn't get people out of detention, especially if he sees you eyeing his sister. @_@ When Acacia comes into play, the guy's got the eyes of a damn hawk. He's behind the scenes overprotective, so it's not overbearing... just noticeable after a few years.

Think Robert Di Nero in any of those Meet the Fockers movies.
YipeeXD said
btw, I'm not like... doubting my own writing.... I just don't like my style. I'm a competent writer lol.


Eh, same difference. :P

If you're doubting your writing style, I mean, look over a post and mark what you don't like about it. Then do what you can to fix and change that.
In all serious, you can only really get better.

I mean, you realize you make mistakes, it's getting past that that will make you a better writer. If you want to speed up the process, just read a lot and continue roleplaying. I mean, look up some guides, if you want and lay out some strict guidelines for yourself. A good thing to do is maybe analyze your writing and compare it to someone else's? See what you think you're doing wrong and improve on it. It's good to make mistakes, but you can't bog yourself down on 'em. We all make mistakes and we can all have moments where we just write terribly.

I still think I'm a mediocre writer myself, but I want to get better not because I'll gain a job or anything like that out of it, but because writing makes me happy and feeling good about my writing makes me happy.

As well, it's bad to just look at the negative. It's not wrong to look at a piece of work you've done and say, "Wow, I did an amazing fucking job!" as long as you don't let it get to your head. You can also find someone to critique your writing, but don't let their words get to you either. If a friend truly gives you good feedback, they're doing it not because they think you're terrible and should stop writing, but because they want you to get better too.

I had a friend tell me I'm too verbose. I'm trying my hardest to tone down my unnecessary word usage 'cause it fills up the paragraph with needless things and disconnects the reader due to the fact that they have to wade through so many damn modifiers. T_T But, I'm also trying to learn how to write to show and not to tell and that's hard 'cause I made a habit out of writing my characters feelings out and describing them too thoroughly, which is probably why I'm verbose in the first place. When I don't physically tell the audience (my peers) how to feel about a character, it makes them more compelling and interesting as a whole, as well as infinitely more relatable.

Jot down what you think is wrong with your writing. Ask someone to read something you wrote and if they tell you it's perfect and awesome, then tell them to shove it up their ass. If they tell you that this and this is wrong with it and this or this needs more improvement and it compares to your notes, then you've got a solid grasp on what's wrong. In doing that, you can now find out how to alleviate those problems and minimize those mistakes further down the road. It especially helps if said person points out something you missed, etc.

Most people are terrible at evaluating their own work, so it does help if you ask someone you trust to look things over for you. Make sure you tell them that you want actual feedback and not just a, "I love it," or, "That was awesome," cause that doesn't help you and can inflate your ego more, making your writing ultimately stagnant, etc. You want actual critique, no matter how much it hurts you to read other people's evaluation of your work. It'll make you a much stronger person, in general, and a much better writer.

That's my two cents.

EDIT: You also can't compare writing an actual work, like a novel or essay, to Roleplaying. The two former forms of writing take a lot of planning and countless revisions, while Roleplaying is pretty much perfecting your first draft writing (I saw someone say that, I forgot who, but I thought it was insightful). Your post aren't going to be exceptional or anywhere near novel worthy, but that doesn't mean they're bad. I wouldn't stay tied down to one particular post either 'cause people are going to have already read it and editing it a thousand times isn't going to help you much. It's good to look at a post you've made, see your mistakes, edit them the first time if you think you should (I post and then edit my post) and then move on. Learn from the mistakes you made in that post and apply your knowledge to the next one you make and so on and so on.

Again, it could help out if you have someone critique a post, run through it quickly, and tell you what's wrong with it. Mainly cause you aren't going to catch all of your mistakes and you might be extremely biased in one direction or another which can kind of blind you in a way: make you see mistakes that aren't there or aren't as big as you're making them or you might not see your mistakes at all and think it's the best work out there. I'm exaggerating, kind of, but it helps to have a friend willing to give you advice and critique.
Mizuho said
Get your head out of your ass, soldier! You're only bad because you think you are!And besides, RSs aren't too much "writing". They're more of "thinking how your character thinks."




Is pretty much what she's saying.

SHAME ON YOU, MISO. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ENCOURAGE NOT DEMORALIZE! D:<
k6xx said
Going to make my teacher allergic to cats just for lolz.


Noooooooooooooooo.

Flynn will die inside if you make him get rid of Oedipus! T_T T_T
YipeeXD said
*fan boys**bows*Sig.... too... much... SAO... gonna.... explode......... murgfh!!!!! *hugs*


John Krasinski and the Office are vastly superior. *Snobby nose turn*

Jk, to each their own. XD
I dun redid what Hayden thinks of Brenden. @_@
Mizuho said
Oh screw you x_x fine, fine, I won't make it vague. but Hayden's RS isn't really clear about Brenden either!EDIT: speaking of Atreus RSs, I'm torn about bringing Hazel back just to do another of her RS again. But it's also a lot of work...


I'll fix it, then. @_@ Bleh.

Bleeh.
Mizuho said
But what if people are allergic to cats?


Simple.

They die.

Mizuho said
I was planning to do something really vague for Hayden, actually...


Ugh, you butt.

If you do, I'm making Flynn's whole sheet vaguer than I did in Atreus. D:<
None of you guys and your teachers are going to compare to Oedipus' greatness. >=D Forget Flynn, Oedipus is the real teacher!

Mizuho said
--Alli and Wren should be added to everything nowMake sure to add them to the relationship sheet <3And now I need to work on Brenden's RS...


Yeah, you do need to work on that RS.

And only because I want to know what he thinks of Hayden and Flynn.

So, like, do that first... and post it.. so I can look at it. Yeah. :D
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