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Journey to the East

Even though he looked at her and she rested in his chest, almost hiding her face from him, somehow he knew she was crying. His bond told Elann that he was annoyed, confused, and frustrated greatly at the moment with her, growing more and moreso as their communication continued. His command for her to stop crying only filled her eyes all the more with tears, though she didn't sob. Did he think she was faking for the sake of the argument? She really felt the need to be comforted and it would prevail in their bond over her love for him. She needed comfort for compassion's sake, but he had none left for her. Though her bond had been filled with love and admiration for him just moments ago, now it filled with pain at his words.

At times he could be so comforting, him having the ability like no other to calm her and care for her, but at times, like now, he had the ability like no other to destroy her and tear her down. He voiced his thoughts on her, openly and truthfully telling her how annoying, confusing, and frustrating she was at times. No voice came from her then, but the pain that filled their bond definitely originated there. As she wiped her eyes and looked away from him toward the forest, all she could think about was how courteous and nice she was trying to be with him, yet it didn't matter to him. Like he had said, sometimes humans say or do stupid things and all this being nice is worthless. It was what he thought of her tears, what he thought of her reactions to his words, and she was at a loss how to change that in him. She really wished Aimee had been listening and would come out and smack him at that point. He had basically just stated that she wasn't a cage, but he wanted to leave her because she annoyed him. It cut deep inside and every blink rolled big tears down her eyes.

The Benshira listened as he related about their family and she could only feel like a third wheel as he explained. He wanted to go do more, which didn't bother her at all, but the reason why he explained it then was in relation to her being annoying and that her positions, while not a cage, seemed to hold him back, and he just wanted to be free sometimes. Then he spoke something that she cut her even deeper. His doubt that his family would even enjoy her presence. It was at that moment, despite her knowing he didn't mean the things in the way he said them, she couldn't help but sent even thicker tears down. Still, she avoided him to hide her tears from his face. She kept herself from sobbing like she wished, but sadness filled her all the more at the comment.

Eventually he spoke so harshly to her, that it almost seemed like a threat that if he had given up on her, she'd know it. It was said quietly but with emotion. It was as if he said it to make her whole point invalid, as if she thought that he had given up on her and that she was being stupid for even bringing up the feelings she had. He had even admitted to having such feelings of abandonment to being human, and yet he had reversed his position so strongly it made her feel like what she had voiced was worthless and stupid for coming out. She sniffled then, unable to control herself from how she felt and she pulled very slowly and almost lovingly from him.

"I am sure you would. I will leave you alone now, just go lay down," she said calmly and tried to settle the emotions that were giving rise within her. She knew somehow he couldn't mean what he said in the way he said it, but it was just too hard to hear. The emotions that she felt: the flares of sadness, pain, and hurt, all were just that- flares. They came up brightly in the moment's of his words, but at her calming, they settled. They seemed to flare so strongly at the certain points in his words, that there was no doubt he could know what had offended her so greatly in what he said. She didn't seem to be pulling away from him out of spite though, as there was no anger in their bond, but merely because he had finished his points. Before going too far from him, she took the arm that was around her and kissed it with her soft warm lips. It was a sign of her devotion to him, but if he didn't stop her, she would head to the wagon.

Journey to the East

Elann hadn't meant to ignore his questions. He had chosen to dissect her words and unfurl how wrong she was back at her, even if in a civil way. The result was that she was so intent on listening to the main points of what he had to say that she hadn't had much opportunity to answer said questions. Now that he had finished his disposition toward her, she was more quiet and far too injured from what he had said to actually want to bring up the subject of his questions. After all, last time in the wagon, she tried to argue her points with him and he had left. The result of that was her near timid answer. It was designed to not offend him in any way and to keep him there despite his disdain in staying.

She knew he was flighty, but he stayed, continued talking about his problems, and even though she had resigned herself to silence, he nudged her back to say some things. She nodded in understanding, knowing that some things were not common sense for him. In fact, many things were not. She had shown great patience in that with him, and encouraged him in the learning of such ways. It seemed that everytime she did, she was either met with opposition or he seemed hesitant to learn such things; such as the other day with them trying new things. It was hard for her to get the point across, and when she finally had, it was as though she was awkward for even bringing up such thoughts. It had been a tough marriage so far for her, but there were times when he would soothe her and it would all just go away.

He finally looked to her and she nodded, feeling the glare on the top of her head. She nudged into his chest with her nose and then looked up at him from his shirt.

"I do. I love everything you've showed me of your world and all of this," she said with a similar gesture upward to the sky. "But as much as I would try, I will not likely ever fully understand it like you do. It would take years and years for me to even come close- even with the bond. So be patient with me too," she stated in a higher pitch voice, almost whining. She definitely felt he was extremely frustrated with her, far more than she with him over her lack of understanding, and she really could use his patience. "I'm trying desperately to learn your world- any way I can so I can understand you better because I love you too. All I want is for you to do the same for me, not to give up, you know? I know your world is hard to understand..." she explained as if it was far beyond her grasping, "...and so is mine, but let's work together on it, hmm?"

"I love our family, and I have not felt jealousy toward them in taking you out, coming, or anything like that. I just felt like you've been much more snippy with me lately, and you've seemed to be so quick to anger at times that I actually felt afraid sometimes. I wasn't sure if it was because you were mad at me, or because since your family got here you've kind of settled back into your old ways with them. It made me feel...while you were still here with me...like you were somewhere else. Like you wanted to be somewhere else, flying free. Like I was your cage."

Tears filled her eyes at the thought, though she still hid her face from him.

"I don't want to be that to you. I want you to find freedom in me, and I want to find it in you. Through our hunting, our bond, sharing your ways of thinking sometimes, I do feel free...unrestrained, wanting to run with you like part of some...wolf pack or something. It's refreshing to think of, but I just haven't done it yet...I want you to feel free in me, that when you are with me, you delight in the things I delight in- taking care of people, loving them, helping them and loving me all the while."

Journey to the East

Elann didn't have any issue with Noah telling people off if they were offending him. She had a problem with him being rude unnecessarily for no reason if anything. It seemed he thought she did. She muttered a simple, "I agree", in short before he continued.

He explained in a nervous tone, all her points, dissecting everything she said and showing her how she was wrong. In truth, she could tell something was strange about Noah, but Elann also was around an entirely new type of people. It was only later, when she began to talk to him, did she notice his odd behavior, his silence and a few other things. They didn't bother her, but to someone else, they likely could and they would easily tell he was a Kelvic man. He expressed how his mother and sister both had experience around people and then seemed to almost rebuke her for her impatience with him.

The whole point of her bringing it up was to call attention to the fact she felt he was slipping into his animal side, which he admitted he was- not a call to make him change faster. She didn't care that he wasn't all the man she would have liked him to be. That didn't matter to her. She just didn't want him giving up, which he also agreed he had to a point.

"I know..." she voiced softly, "...I don't expect change overnight and I hope you don't think I'm pushing you to. I...I just felt like you had almost given up on working to be human-like when last I knew you were trying. I just hadn't seen you bother in a long time...so I just wanted to tell you how I felt. I like you trying, even if it can be stupid at times."

She had tried to be open, requesting help in understanding him better but it was kind of turned back on her. It didn't make her feel good, nor did his emphasis on the fact he didn't like the conversation. That hurt worst of all. He had asked her to bear her feelings out to him, to be open, and now was being told in his cautious flighty way that he essentially wanted to leave the conversation. It was likely the last time she would bear her heart to him.

His eyes looked ahead in steady defiance to look at her own and she instead gave up, looking ahead herself and leaning into him. There was no pain in her or hurt, no racing or raging emotion. It seemed to be quiet in their bond except for a steady flow of love from her to him. She had bottled it all up and sealed away her feelings, then distracted herself with thoughts of the road ahead.

Journey to the East

It was sort of news to her that he had been planning to leave before she had come. It warmed her heart, filling her with a great love for him at it. While he likely became fascinated with her, it was really sweet to hear that he had stayed simply because she had asked him to.

"It's a good off topic," she commented with a kiss to his cheek in love, but then nodded that he should continue with what he was feeling.

It seemed he had a desire to be free, and by her befriending him, she had kept him in that cage of a city. He forced himself to be human because of her. Thoughts of the afternoon that she yelled at him came streaming back at his mention of it. She nodded in response, saddened slightly that he had thought she didn't want to be friends because he was Kelvic. He then revealed that when his family came and she wanted them to leave to Zeltiva, he changed because he was free. Free to be himself, something that Syliras held him back from. He had decided without her that he couldn't change, that he was going to keep being the animal despite what he had said to her. He encouraged her not to put down herself and her feelings, to which she nodded.

"Moon, I have seen such a change in you over the past year. You might not realize it, but think back how shy you were when you met me. To tell the truth, you were kind of quiet and awkward. I saw you meeting that vendor just recently and you weren't nearly as shy. You hugged your best friend goodbye and you felt emotion, sad emotions at leaving him. I have seen your care for me just increase ten fold."

"Look, even here in this conversation. Before, you would have said a few words, but now you've told me how you feel, how it affects you, your thoughts- all of it is such a human-like improvement. I don't know much about our bond, but I share feelings with you, and sometimes I feel like...running naked through the woods with you all," she stated nervously, confessing only her deepest fears to her husband. "It makes sense that you would have felt how to seem human. Your mother, your sister...if you hadn't told me they were Kelvic, I'd never have known. They have learned to both be human and free. I am sure it wasn't easy, but you can't give up. Please don't give up on that. I fell in love with that human side of you just as much as I did in your animal side. You giving up on it is not okay to me. I encourage you to go fly, I encourage you to be your eagle self, but there are times when I want you to understand me better, and that can only come through trying to be more human. Just as I can only understand you sometimes by being more animal...right?"

She knew what she was saying. She had a long line of warriors in her family, and that animalistic urge to hunt, survive, and thrive was there even within the quiet tentmaker. All the more common it was for her to want it, to get excited at it because of their bond. She wouldn't tell him the thoughts, desires, and passions she had about hunting and being wild with him. He could feel passions and desires feel the bond briefly as he mind trailed that way, but was quieted by a deep breath and a bright look to him.

"I hope you don't think I am trying to cage you like Syliras did. I don't want to cage you...ever. I want you to feel free. Right now, you can go and be free on the winds if you want, to think of what I've said and I won't care. But you know...you can feel free with me, here, walking beside me as a human because you want to. Both are free, both are who you are, right?"

She hoped she made sense. Despite her stubbornness, Elann was not a good arguer, but she had confessed her feelings and awaited to see what he would say about them. Whatever he seemed to say, she wasn't sad or angry with him, but still seemed to have a gentle tone and a soft pleading smile on her face. It felt good to get all of it out and to hear his feelings on the matter.

Journey to the East

Elann nearly warmed at the thought. The idea of Zeltiva being really hot filled their connected bond with thoughts of comfort and coziness; even if it was for a while yet. By the time they arrived there in a couple to a few weeks, she would be that much closer to warm weather. Then her husband said something that made her look up to him and fill with passionate love for him. She then nestled in at his side looking forward with a happy sigh, embracing him with both of her hands in a sideways hug about his torso.

It seemed whatever he said had worked charmingly to bring her happiness, whether it was his intent or not. Elann liked to believe Noah was much more romantic at times than he actually was, and his defense of her was not just his predatory instinct of his eagle form, but rather a deep rooted love for her. In reality she was part right, he did love her, but he was far more animal than she knew.

"I can't wait until we get there. I have been thinking about it non-stop. I dream about it all the time and I hope it is as wonderful as you have said it would be. Even if not though, I know I'll love it there."

Her hand moved from the hug to reach up to the one wrapped around her and held it still while she turned her head to gently place a kiss there on his forearm. She settled back in at his side more and let out a happy sigh. They had been on a rocky road, that was for sure, and it was nice to just relax for a little with each other. It was for that reason she had not pushed to bring up what was on her heart. It kept nagging at her though and pushing her to tell the truth.

"Noah?" she awaited his hum, loving that she could predict him. "I have been feeling something in my heart that I have to confess. I know I have failed to understand you in many ways. Your world has been so different from mine. How can I better understand you more? We haven't talked about this since our fight. I want to know you better, but inside, in my heart, I feel like you are this amazing animal, a Kelvic eagle, but at the same time, you are a Kelvic man. You've told me before you wanted to be more human, but recently I've seen you embrace more of the opposite. It sometimes makes me feel like you just want to go off and be an eagle, but I married you, you are bonded to me, and I don't want you to fall too far into that side of you. Am I wrong to feel that way? What...what can I do to better know you?" she asked nervously and then pleaded, "I love you so much and I just feel afraid that if since your family has come you have been being more focused on that animal side of you, how much more when you are among your whole family. Is this a dumb fear to have?"

He could perceive through her bond a sense of relief, but also a feeling of honesty in her words. It was how she was feeling; even if she didn't want to feel it. She had trusted that she could speak what was on her heart to him, but each time recently it had ended up painful to speak of what was there; them ending in large fights. She hoped with all her being that he wouldn't leave her there, that he would comfort her fears and not turn from her like he had before- she didn't know how much more she could handle of him leaving her. If he had to leave, she hoped he would at least pay her love before doing so. After all, he hadn't liked it when she left the tent suddenly the previous day, perhaps he could now understand her.

Journey to the East

Elann was in a far better mood now than she had been in the back of the wagon. Sitting there endlessly, brushing Aimee's hair could only entertain her so much. While Elann was often more comfortable than some when it came to sitting quietly, due to her being a rugmaker all her life, she still enjoyed Noah's attentions toward her. His helping her out of the wagon, walking with her, the gentle brushing and attentiveness of her person all went to filling her up with love for him. As they walked and talked about the birds, she didn't have the experience he did with them. Birds were not common where she lived, let alone any animal in abundance.

"Oh..." she said shyly. She had at the most seen vultures in a group before and only had seen smaller birds a few times at oases, but had never really paid attention to them. Her mind was preoccupied with bathing, gathering water, and not getting attacked by something. To Noah, it seemed very common knowledge to know that birds talked and had their own language. "...I had no idea. There aren't really many birds that live where I am from. And I don't recall seeing any birds in Syliras. I remember hearing them though when we were hunting with your mother and sister. They do seem to have a language, don't they. Hmm."

She thought on it some more, listening more attentively now to them and looking around to see them, yet failing to. Noah commented on her work in progress, stating that she looked quite focused on it. A small chuckle came from her.

"I suppose I was. Rugmaking is what I am comfortable with, but sewing I am still learning. Especially embroidery. With the wagon bumping and everything, I'm surprised I haven't stained the outfit red with blood from jerking the needle. I would normally not be so focused on it, but I think it will be pretty to wear when I'm done. I have a lot more fabric. When I'm done, do you want me to replace that shirt that got ruined?"

He asked of her whether she liked it outside on the path, walking with him. Looking up with a cute little grin, she nodded.

"I do. It's very pretty. If it was safe, I'd love to live out here. The more I see of trees and grass, your bushes and rivers, the more I want to spend time among them. "

She perhaps had that desire in her all along, but while Elann may have been more strongwilled in many aspects than Noah was, she had definitely folded to their bond when it came to loving nature. From the moment they were bonded it seemed like she had been given a new appreciation for everything nature related. Perhaps it was just her experience with him and how they had come together after their hunt, but she adored every moment of it.

"I think if I wasn't so cold all the time, I would. You said it gets very hot in Zeltiva, right?" her voice almost pleadingly hoping it was so.

Journey to the East

There were times when her husband could seem more the animal, but then there were times that he seemed like the man she loved all the more. As he explained about the birds, mainly about Altaira and the Benshira Oriah, she seemed very interested to learn more. He continued on, speaking about how they thought. She thought it was cute how they seemed to be following the caravan, and given her secluded nature the past few days in the back of the covered wagon, she had not noticed that they had been following them.

"No...really?" she asked with surprise, looking over toward the forest edge, yet was unable to see the many birds he likely saw.

She never assumed that birds would wonder about why one person was walking with another and admiration for her husband began to blossom greatly in her heart. A little laugh came from her as he joked and the eyes that had seemed so dim in comparison inside the dim light of the wagon once again met his with their brilliance of green and ocean blue.

"I never would have thought birds talked like that."

She almost buzzed with excitement, nearly springing in her step with him. With her turned face toward him, the wind blew her thick strands of hair into obstructing her face and she tossed her hair to look forward into the wind as she looked down to the ground they were walking on. It was such a contrast how verdant everything was. For miles and miles stretching toward the mountains far far in the distance all she could see was beautiful green.

Her husband's question about her sewing project, as well as his reaching touch to brush her windswept hair away from her cheek, snapped her attention back to him. In a loving tone she hummed thoughtfully for a moment and then spoke.

"It's going fine. I think I'll be done by tomorrow. I am just finishing up the embroidery. Do you like how it looks so far? Did you see it?"

She wasn't sure how attentive he had been given his intent focus on the stormgems. It was a sign to her that she wouldn't likely get much out of him until he had settled to put them away. Yet her husband had uncanny focus, and while the gems were fascinating, she knew she was all the more to him.

Journey to the East

Elann was sure her husband would figure out the gems eventually. They had all their lives to do so. She just wanted him to be careful. There was an entire destructive storm system contained within them and as such, it was possible that they could be released. He seemed to agree with her and she patiently watched him pack away the back with both of her hands on the seat.

She waited for him to finish before getting ready to leave, but him climbing out first worked for her better, and seeing his open arms for her, Elann was filled with love for him. She lowered herself happily into his arms, her own instantly wrapping about his neck, taking what warmth she found there and bringing it into her always cold body.

Her feet slid safely to the ground as the wagon moved forward - her remaining in his arms - and she moved with him off to the side to walk with him, using his arm to wrap about her shoulders in an embrace. The soft gentle breezes, cool as they were, were freezing to the desert-born Benshira, but having Noah at her side let her withstand their bite.

Syna above warmed her also, the sun's rays shining brightly down on the meadow path they traversed. The forest was on either side of the road, giving cover from the nearby sounds of the river. Her attention was on the people around them, seemingly also enjoying the time outside of their wagons. Those around them seemed to talk to the wagon drivers and the wagon guards who escorted them through the unsafe reaches to their ultimate destination, but Elann just had her husband there. In the past week, she had not spoken much to anyone but their driver. There were a few people she had helped set up tents and assisted in various ways, but no-one she knew well yet.

Noah seemed - like many times - to be off in his own little world. The Kelvic man, a native of the town they were going to seemed to be focused on the sounds of birds. His non-human nature, able to transform into the form of a great eagle, seemed to allow him to understand the animals of avian nature around them. Elann looked to his lips as he made the perfect pitched tunes. It caused a bright smile to remain upon her face despite her cold.

"I knew you could speak to eagles, but you can speak to them too?" she asked, referencing the many birds flying about, thinking there was no predator in their region at the moment. "What did they say? Are they smart?"

Journey to the East

Elann was perhaps a bit more wild than Noah when it came to experimenting. After all, she was the cook between them. She was tempted to experiment with them herself, but knew that it was Noah's right. Still, she could help him certainly, but dared not to anger the God of storms. It was a test for her husband, much like the test for her marks were meant to show her faithfulness, goodness, and purity. Elann nodded with her husband to Aimee, they were special. Her hands traced down to his shoulders where she began to massage him.

"They are special, that is certain. I had never seen Zulrav before, but there I saw his power, likely just a small bit of it, and it was amazing. From what he did, these were made. I imagine they can be very dangerous, which is why he has been being so cautious about them. Wouldn't you say, love?"

She could sense the feeling within him, the want to discover what they were exactly, and by her actions through her hands, she attempted to calm him, to at least make his body at ease. He had a focus unlike any other she had met and a curiosity beyond that of a human, and these gifts were shiny. Like a raven to a piece of silver, he had grown attatched to them in intense study. It was hard at times to gather him back from the brink of his thoughts, often not seeing relief for hours on end and often with him disappearing to think recently.

Elann continued to stretch and press his muscles, ocassionally reaching up to brush through his hair and then downward to scratch his back as he sat on the floor of the bumping wagon. Heading to Zeltiva was going to be a long road, but already it was far more pleasant than her boatride from the desert regions of Eyktol to Syliras. The road was as smooth as could be, but was very rough compared to the rolling waves of the ocean.

Seeing that he was packing things up, Elann let out a deep breath and asked him, "I am thinking of walking along side the wagon for a bit- stretching my legs. Care to join me?"

She then planted a kiss upon the top of his head and carefully rose. At any point a bump could come along and throw her to the other side of the wagon if she wasn't balanced.