snelss0

Journey to the East

If Noah had put even a fraction of an interest into her god, it was likely he wouldn't have found her speaking about him to be so exhaustive. Yahal, compared to many other Gods out there, was very personal and attentive to mortals, one that could be interacted with; but as it was, he hadn't really taken interest. It was only to reduce their fights did she sit him down and tell him what the Penita scrolls said so he could divide her culture and her believe in Yahal. He in the end answered 'okay', and that was enough for her, not wanting to push the subject after not only seeing his furrowed brows, feeling his unease, but also having been given a warning glance.

His questions drew a little silence from Elann as she looked up to him. Where were these questions coming from? How horrible an idea he must have had of her god to spurn them, even innocently.

"What? No!" she said with a slight laugh. "That's silly. I don't think of you like that. You are very faithful to me, your family, your friends. You are very pure of heart. I've said before that Yahal cares about you. Do you think that I think you are marred?"

She was going to give an example of Zulrav and how he didn't pray to him and yet his god cared for him, but his sidelong glance of a warning resounded in her to not go there. Because of it, she just shut her mouth and folded her hands over her lap. He would have to understand on his own.

Journey to the East

Elann hadn't implied that he wasn't listening, though it was the case. In her eyes, there was so much connected to the lessons of purity and faithfulness that one could simply pay a small bit of attention and learn something. She was trying to express to him how simple it was, that if he just would listen he would learn something. Elann had come to recognize the furrowed brow of her husband as a bad sign, even if he was not upset.

"No. It's not just about that. Let me try to explain better. All around us, there are lessons in life that we can learn if we pay attention, some are natural, like learning how to walk; some are divine, such as the laws of how things are in the world; and some are magical. Yahal has divinely set out the ways of purity and faithfulness long before my life, just as Dira has for death, or Zulrav for storms. What I am saying is that because I worship Yahal, I keep my eye out for lessons I can learn on Yahal's attributes. When I say that our relationship is a tool Yahal is using to help me better understand him, it is not me saying that our relationship is just a tool. I'm saying that because of our relationship, and my eye intent on seeking out his attributes, I can learn a lot about him and his ways through our relationship. There is no reason to feel uneasy. He isn't controlling you nor I as a puppet."

She only mentioned as such because she felt that he felt that Yahal was oppressive. Perhaps it was his tone or just the topic and point of his questions. She didn't like that he was questioning their relationship like he was. She loved him, it was her choice, not Yahal's.

"I'm merely saying there are good lessons to learn through paying attention to Yahal, just as there are good lessons to learn by paying attention to Zulrav...like...don't go out in lightning storms or you could get struck by lightning. I just speak in a very...mmm...personal way because I've experienced Yahal as a being. That is why I say things like, 'he is teaching me these lessons' instead of, 'I'm learning these lessons because I'm paying attention'. It's because I have seen how much he cares about me, and he has put these lessons of his nature in place so I can better know him."

Journey to the East

Her husband approached her and set down his food before her. It really didn't look very appetizing, but her eyes didn't linger on it long. He moved to the soft damp sand of the shore she wondered if he was going to take his shoes off and hop in. He seemed to have a lot on his mind however. At first it was innocent questioning, but she searched their bond to see if he was beginning to feel emotions as they talked.

"Using? Um...Not like an object if that's what you mean?" Her grasp on the language was good, but she thought she understood that that implied some negative meanings, to be used. "He cares and loves you and is trying to show you various lessons of purity and faithfulness if you would listen. Does that mean he doesn't show me things in how you act and ways you think that show me more about his attributes? No, he does show me. But I wouldn't say he is using you anymore than he uses anything to show his care for purity and faithfulness."

"What do you mean, is it just about me getting to know Yahal? Is what about me trying to get to know Yahal? My culture?" Given his first question, she wondered if he meant her relationship with him. "Our relationship? What do you mean?"

Journey to the East

Elann knew he didn't understand. She knew it was Zulrav himself who took an interest in Noah, not the other way around at first. Elann was done trying to change her husband to be more socially responsive, even to his own God, but it didn't matter with his God, he did what he wanted, just like Noah. Noah was going to say something further, but shut himself up. That was a thought she didn't want to delve into and instead just answered his apology.

"You didn't make me do anything Noah, and they aren't my people anymore. I chose to evaluate what was really Yahal's dictations and what was not. I found that there were things in my culture that were keeping me from being as faithful a friend and lover eventually that I could be, and you were more important to me than my culture. I still love my culture, but I don't blame you and others for seeing some things as silly or strange. A lot of my culture doesn't fit up here and doesn't make sense to follow to those born outside of it. I chose to shrug those things off, not just for you, but for myself and so I could better learn my god and how he thinks. My ideas of what purity and faithfulness are nothing as complete as his knowledge on those subjects. I was raised with a lens that showed me some parts of his character, but he is much more than even I know. I think he wanted me to come here so I can know him. I think he blessed our relationship because he sees there are things I can learn from you about him. He wants me to know him more, and I intend to. But you never made me go against anything. I chose of my own free will to do those things and to love you. You never made me do anything I didn't want to do...except celebrate my birthday, which I'm glad you did!" she chuckled silently so as to not to disturb the natural silence around them.

Journey to the East

His question came, curiously poking into what she was saying, trying to find out her intentions. She enjoyed the fact he at least wasn't being rude to her in this instance or getting offended at what she was saying. She didn't want to fight again, but the inquiry as to why she was trying to separate the two types of emotions for him was something she was going to be careful with. She wasn't nervous, nor was she going to lie, but she just wanted to speak from a correct perspective according to her.

"Remember when I told you that us Benshira are not allowed to be romantically involved with outsiders of our people? It's been pushed into my mind that it was not okay, but you were so caring for me, I had been disowned and I had to realize, I am no longer Benshira in the Benshira's eyes. Then you were having difficulties understanding the differences between my past culture and my god, so I had to really evaluate what was deemed a law by Yahal, and what was cultural. There never was a law put down by Yahal saying that I cannot marry you nor love you romantically, so that made it easier, but yeah, at first, I was trying to stay true to what I knew and was trying not to draw too close to you because of our different cultures."

Journey to the East

"Maybe I already have super strength and I've kept it hidden. You never know."

It seemed she stumped him, calling him out to explain his question further. He did so and she listened intently.

"Oh, well...If things happened differently. Hm..." she hummed in thought. "Well, then we'd likely be with someone else wouldn't we? Men are much more bold in Syliras and I imagine even more so in Zeltiva. They used to come up to me occasionally and ask me to dinner. I guess I would have eventually sought the attentions of one of them, but probably not for a long while. I think I only felt comfortable to become betrothed to you because we'd been so close and you'd become the only person I trusted completely. I think if we never developed romance, I'm not sure I would have bonded until much later, but in the end, I think we still would have bonded, fought, and eventually made up just the same, and I think we would probably be on our way to Zeltiva regardless. You are very important to me, as a husband or if it was just as a friend."

"Well...when it comes to loving someone, even though you were mean at times and what you call as not normal, I saw through it. At first I didn't enjoy your behavior and thought it strange, but you were the only person I knew, and for whatever reason, I felt I could trust that you'd keep me safe. There was something intense about you, almost protective. It wasn't shown to me right at the beginning, but soon afterward. I needed that protection. I needed to feel like this world in Syliras was not going to kill me, and you kind of made me feel that way. At the orphanage I saw how you were with the kids, like big cute kid yourself. I think that made me like you more as a friend when you came there with me. I didn't know what you were, or what a kelvic was at all really, so when we fought in the Stallion, it was kind of revealing to me that I wasn't dealing with what I would understand as a normal human, at least that's what you expressed to me."

"From then on, I tried to help you seem more human as I thought that's kind of what you wanted and in the course of doing that, I drew closer. After Caesarion, I could see the change in you. I could see how death seemed almost too good in your senses and I cared for you. I didn't like to see you like that, so I decided to love you, care for you, despite how you acted. As you got better, I think that love remained. You were closer than ever to me, and it only grew. Eventually I began to notice my attraction for you. You really helped me when my parents sent me that letter disowning me, and I think when you did that, my love grew even more for you. It was harder then...to separate my love for you as someone like a protector and a friend, and someone I actually loved and cared about romantically."

Journey to the East

Elann guessed that answered her question. She was curious about where the floral smell came from, and according to her knowledge, earthly floral smells all came from flowers. She hummed thoughtfully. The flowers were separate, but he had said that the smell she smelled was likely rain and grass. Perhaps grass had a scent without having flowers? She considered this, wanting to smell a handful of grass.

He mocked her ability to pin him down, leaving her with some trailing clue as to something in the future.

"What do you mean by that? Do you think I'll gain super muscles one day?"

His challenge to her made a small smirk pass over her face. It was clear that she thought she could. It didn't mean she would enjoy sitting there all day not kissing him, but she could do it. She was used to sitting in one spot, fiddling with a rug for hours on end.

When he asked about her and him as being friends, she thought on it a moment, her eyes sweetly connected with his.

"Well, I don't know how mean, can you explain more?"

Journey to the East

Elann was a floppy noodle compared to the might and strength of Noah's sister. Should a chair fall against a door, she would have struggle to open it. Should Noah start choking in his sleep, her entire being with all her might would be required just to roll him up onto his side. It was a wonder given everything that was weak about her that she could pull the bow string. It was merely only because of a life of weaving had given her the arm and finger strength to just barely manage it.

It always gave her pleasure seeing him take her food, and with her hands free, she dusted the stale remaining powder from the bread off of her hands. There she kept them clasped together until climbing onto the rock.

There he disagreed with her, shrugging at first, but at least he answered her.

"Hmm...I've never smelled grass before up close. I wouldn't think it would have much of any smell. Grass has flowers right? Or are those just flowers in grass I saw?"

It just went to show how alien his world was to her. She had come from a land of sand, where all the tiny tufts of grass at the edge of oases were covered in sand and dust, burned by the sun.

"I'm not sure," she answered. "I was having fun, but then, I really wanted a kiss you know? At first I wanted it because it seemed enjoyable to kiss you when you first woke up, but then later I wanted a kiss much more because I wasn't able to have one. I think I was having a fun time, but when I thought I couldn't win, then I just wanted one. It wasn't that it wasn't fun anymore, it just got to a point where I longed to feel your lips. Maybe I would have pinned you down and taken it," she said forcefully with a playful tone and wriggling eyebrows. She knew that was not possible in her wildest dreams. "Or maybe I would have just sat patiently until you did give me one. I can't say."

Journey to the East

Elann was actually surprised Noah took the bowl of food, showing that he was likely more hungry than just bread would allow. Having taken the bite of bread, Elann's hunger was gone and so she didn't need to eat anymore. She palmed her bread and waited for him to look to the river.

"Yeah, let's go. Do you want my bread? Are you hungry? I'm not."

She held it up for him to take if he wanted it and then if not, she guessed she would just take another bite and bide her time to see if he wanted it. If nothing else, it could become fish food.

Staying by his weaker side, Elann moved through the clearing to the water, which was an easy and short trek. There at the water's edge were some large boulders that they could sit on at the bend of the river as it headed away from camp. She climbed up the side of it and sat sown, using her short dress as a blanket for her from the cooled stone.

"I love the smell after the rain here. It smells kind of like flowers, don't you think?"

Journey to the East

Given that Noah slid his shirt on, Elann felt significantly more comfortable to be among others. It was a rare thing to see him fully clothed, and despite the nulled conversation between them, it reminded her of his getup for their wedding. He still thought it funny, but she thought it very fitting of him.

At they waited in line, her eyes, now able to see him, searched for his eyes.

"You look handsome," she commented to his appearance. A small tuck of a smile crossed her lips and she moved up with him in line to retrieve a bowl of the goop and some bread. She ended up just taking bread for herself, not feeling too hungry and she took a bite as she exited the line with him.

"Look Noah!" she said quietly but with excitement toward the river. It was close, within sight, and she reached up to tug at his shirt.

"Do you want to eat by the water?"