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Journey to the East

It seemed he was willing to come in and lay down with her. She nodded and hopped back off, the action meaning nothing to her like it did him. He was still in pain and needed a small amount of help, but soon he would not need even that. Much as he wished, he would likely be all better by the time he arrived in Zeltiva, or at least well enough to pass for being all better.

Once inside and the flaps were drawn closed, she saw him strip off his shorts and lay in bed. It took her a bit longer to get the dress off, but eventually she was down at his side with her underwear only on her. The tired feeling increased the moment she hit the pillow and she lay on her back beside him.

Under the blanket, her hands were upon her stomach, playing over her soft skin, feeling about her belly button for a moment and then she closed her eyes. She enjoyed the lulling and rocking of the wagon, the creaking sound inching her closer to sleep. Unless otherwise pestered by Noah, she would not be far from her sleep and would likely remain as such until just before the wagons stopped.

Journey to the East

Elann followed the leading step back to the wagon, walking in suit to climb up into it. His joking had brought a smile to her face, but she wasn't overly open to the joking. It wasn't that she was in a bad mood, just not overly able to be poked or prodded into laughing. The joviality would return in time, but at least there was a flutter of happiness when he joked.

"Okay," she answered, feeling it was enough to express that she was going to do whatever she wanted. Elann didn't mind her hair the color it was at the moment, having had it that dark before.

"I am tired. I've been walking in the sun most of the day. It's made me sleepy."

She climbed into the back and upon entering, she turned and sat on the edge.

"Are you coming in? Want to take a nap with me?"

Journey to the East

It seemed that her husband was doubtful. Elann used to have her hair short as a little girl. She enjoyed it because it didn't require brushing, she could run her hand through it easily, and she didn't have to do any maintenance or styling. She could understand his desire to not want to change. Elann was of a different heart. She was in a new world, with a new love, a new life. She was all about changing for him and changing everything of her life. Only her worship of Yahal seemed cemented to her and everything else was fluid.

"Oh alright..." she said almost jokingly disappointed. It would have sounded more joking, but she was still cautious with him and didn't want to explode yet with emotions.

"Probably..." she muttered back as he stated she'd probably die before it grew back. She didn't like spending too long without kissing him. It was why their first act upon forgiveness was her kiss to him.

"Okay," she answered curiously. "I'm just starting to feel sleepy right now...should I nap?"

It was still a ways before they'd camp, especially if the wagonmaster decided to push their journey. As it was, he had normally planned for them to have a few days rest, but they only had one due to the slow going in the rain and the bandit attack, some late starts and the occasional broken wagon wheel slowing them down.

Journey to the East

She gave him another squeeze in love, growing more steadily in the feeling as he complimented her, partially ignoring the jokes. It was healing to hear him say that no matter what she looked pretty to him. Sometimes she felt like he just liked certain things about her, but recently he had been telling her she was beautiful, pretty, and some other things that made her feel more confident around him.

"I will probably let it grow out some more so that it won't look so strange and then I will cut my hair very short; not bald mind you." She gave him a little rib poke to show she had heard his jokes. "Do you think short hair would look good on me for a while? My hair grows fast, so it shouldn't be too long before it's back to normal."

She was thinking like a bob or pixie cut, but whatever would get rid of the dark brown and back to her natural color. She had never done that ever in her life, forgotten to take the mix out, and it just so happened to be black henna. He would not have liked her with bright red hair, she was sure.

"What would you do if I shaved your head one night while you slept?"

Journey to the East

Elann burried her face into him more.

"...A nice hot bath..."

She almost sounded like she was begging for it. It was rare to go to the bathhouse. She was raised taking spongebaths, but she had enjoyed them when she had gone in Syliras. Having the opportunity to go for one there in Zeltiva was going to be nice after the dusty road.

"Well, it's alright. I like my natural hair color more though," she answered.

"Y..you don't really get it out. There is a way to whiten the hair with a dye and then my natural hair color can be dyed back into it, or I have to let it grow out. Unfortunately it is permanent until then. I am not sure if someone in Zeltiva can dye it or not."

"What do you think of it?"

Journey to the East

Four days is what she guessed. The rate at which the mountain range had come into view and how large and distant it was was a trick to her eyes, but even though she had forgiven him, she still didn't want to upset him by speaking about something she didn't know about. In the end, it was what he thought as well. She understood that much of those four days would be crossing the mountain pass, but didn't know how long that would be for sure. She wished she was able to fly like Noah, able to reach it in a day, but given their time, four days was not much.

"Maybe if the caravan leader pushes hard, we can make it in a couple days? Who knows, he has been going pretty hard to make up the time we've lost. Maybe he'll feel inspired to have us go longer each night? I certainly wouldn't mind, though the horses and oxen might."

Her eyes shut completely as she relished in the feel of his touch through her hair. Where her love may have been muffled more than normal, the soothing response he gave her just then was fully felt. In another day the smell would fade from her hair, especially given the wind blowing it and giving it more volume.

"I didn't mean to. I accidentally left it in too long, and it was just long enough to have set into some of my hair. I would have looked like I had dots of dark brown all over my hair where it set in, so I decided to leave it in and just let it finish setting in so my hair didn't look so strange. I'm sorry if you don't like it, it wasn't intentional. It'll be there like that for quite a while..."

It would stay until she redyed her hair, which wouldn't look good, or until her natural hair color grew out until she could cut it all off.

Journey to the East

Elann considered the past fight they had as they walked. Perhaps when tensions got elevated, if she took a step back to calm things down, it would do them wonders. He pecked her on the shoulder, pointing to the mountain range and she nodded.

"We are so close. How long do you think it'll be before we reach your home? How many more days?"

With him pointing, the wind returned, the breezes cooling her, making her wrap more tightly around her husband. Regardless of what he said, she leaned her head onto his chest and nestled there. The darkness of her hair seemed all that much darker as she pressed against his tanned skin and it seemed like she was a different woman the change was so evident. It still, despite the power of the breezes, sent wafting fumes of that henna and scented oil smell up to him, unavoidable as long as he lingered close to her.

Journey to the East

Elann had her doubts whether what Noah said was true or not. He had showed that lying was in his ways of thinking, but the God of purity and faithfulness would know. His words explained how he was sorry for it all, for what he said and how he hurt her. It was a moment where she could reside in her doubts of him or she could forgive him in love. One day perhaps she would chose the other, but not this day. She chose to forgive him and shuffled closer to him to tug at his arm to get him to stop walking a second.

"I forgive you."

She then leaned up to offer him a kiss before continuing to walk with him. She didn't want to get too far behind their wagon. It would be too hard for him to catch up without transforming and flying. Once again, there was love in her bond for him, but it was still injured and diminished from what it normally was. It would have been a relief for him to feel again however as it was significantly more than he had felt since their fight. She still didn't speak, but she did come and hug about his waist as they walked.

Journey to the East

Elann above all had listened to him and knew that he was ill-equipped to deal with the conversations they were having. It just meant that he kept hurting her though with his lack of understanding. His apology clearly wasn't that, it was that he was sorry she was hurt. That of course wasn't enough for her, but having sympathy for him, she listed out why she was feeling the way she was.

"I'm not going to go over everything we said. I already explained it all, that it was how you should think better of me instead of becoming immediately hurt, that you had deflected blame onto me and I didn't understand why you felt the need to argue when we were able to talk peacefully. What made me not want to talk to you was when you stated that I shouldn't talk about things you think I don't know about, that silenced me and hurt me. When you stated that trying to argue with me is impossible, that I always try to win and that you aren't going to bother with talking to me on things you don't understand, that silenced and hurt me. Yet I still patiently expressed my apologies and was calm. I understood it was a hard topic for you, and I tried to mend our conversation again, showing why I felt the way I did and you shut me out, stating that you weren't going to follow my God, you didn't care what I did, and asked if we were done, as we have ended all our fights. That silenced and hurt me. Yes, I was done, done talking to you until you felt sorry, not for hurting me, but for the words and actions you took to cause that fight."

She continued then, not giving him room to breath or argue back.

"I know you don't understand the complexities of this topic or why I'm hurt, but that doesn't change the fact that I am - as any person would be if their husband talked to them that way - and that your behavior was bad. I am not your mother. I am not trying to change you. I am not going to punish you. You can continue to say harsh things to me in complete ignorance that they are harsh, but I chose and will choose to deal with it in silence. I am not angry with you, but I am also not okay with your behavior."

Journey to the East

The winds quelled at the raising of his hand. She shivered at once to recover the lost heat within her and she seemed thankful. He apologized to her for interrupting and she shook her head, showing it was no big deal. There were plenty of hours left to work if she wanted to.

Her gaze was still away from him toward the country, but even before he spoke, she could feel his tension to speak. She looked over toward his feet as he spoke. Immediately he was off to one hell of an apology, telling her he could live without her. He saved himself before the rage kicked in and she listened, wanting to hear what he had to say, but still looking toward his feet rather than toward him.

While he thought it was okay that she meant the world to him and he could snub off everyone else, she didn't like that about him, as displayed so many times before. Her jaw tensed at the mentioning but she remained calm, listening to him continue. She was on the edge of the knife as it came to her anger and yet he pulled her away from the ledge as he said she had the right to be upset with him. It eased her back and even moreso as he apologized. She nodded silently, agreeing that later might be too late to fix anything.

It seemed her silent treatment had burned a hole through his clothes right to his heart as he couldn't stand it or the cold bond. He showed how his behavior was good in that he didn't leave her, but while it was something she appreciated, it was done for the wrong reasons. She wanted him to not want to leave, not because she didn't want him to. He expressed that it was all confusing to him. He admitted she had the right to be angry and that sometimes he was right, but other times wrong. She wasn't sure he considered himself to be wrong based on what he had said before they stopped talking, but she did realize he was floundering to fix things, and that was enough for her.

"I don't know..." she said quietly, giving him a sidelong glance with furrowed eyebrows, as if not sure whether to answer his request. She revealed why. "You are apologizing, saying you're sorry and that I have a right to be upset and angry with you, but do you even know why? What are you apologizing for? Are you sorry I'm not talking to you, that I'm not feeling jovial? I have a right not be, as you said. So what is it that you are sorry for?"

He had let so much time pass before coming to her, she didn't feel wrathful or vindictive, not even angry, but did feel like he needed to learn his lesson. She didn't want some partial apology just because he didn't feel good about the situation. It was good he didn't feel pleased with it. He shouldn't.