TheEvanCat

Well I just bought Metal Gear Solid Ground Zero today.

Basically I badgered him into a good PC so we could play Military Logistics Simulator 2035.

And I bought a PC instead of a PS4, so there's that. I'd still like a PS4, of only for MGS and Killzone.

Precipice of War - We Write Under The Sign Of The Goat

Mountains are cool and all, but no substitute for 4G.

Strangest Roleplays

Ooh, ooh! Story time.

A tropical island. A luxury resort. Beaches, bars, and babes. But what's this? An escaped Chinese sexbot in the image of a fictional communist dictator has arrived, seeking a hideout from the mysterious forces chasing him. He is followed by Ethiopian and Armenian intelligence assets including a femme-fatale spy named Sasha and a pair of Ethiopian home slices. With them are leaders from across the world - the sociopath king of Spain, the raging alcoholic president of Armenia who makes Mad Men look like an anti-smoking commercial, and the psychotropic drug-addicted ex-monarch of Ethiopia's empire. The stage is set for a battle as small disagreements turn into giant battles.

With the sudden appearance of American special forces, the intelligent agents began to search for the sexbot and its valuable technology. Firefights began to break out throughout the resort, warranting the attention of a French naval task force in the area. They dispatched GIGN forces to quell the riots, unknowingly setting the stage for something far worse. The fights made their way to the beach, where people were already fighting off the French helicopters. Meanwhile, the Ethiopian monarch - Sahle - wandered into the basement while high as a kite and found an inter dimensional portal. Unknowingly, he summoned the legendary son of the Goat God Hebert - Norm the Conqueror (also a goat.) Yet as Norm led his army through the portal, the fabric of the two universes began to tear.

On the surface, things were getting worse. A Spanish submarine had launched torpedoes containing the feared Cazadore special forces at the island in an attempt to capture the sexbot, leading to a standoff later ended when the sexbot's arms turned into giant dildo swords. The intelligence agents in hot pursuit realized that this fight would be unwinnable with conventional arms. Instead, they turned to rap. The sounds of a rap battle involving the heads of state of many different nations ensued while Norm's goat army - led by the mighty Sahle riding on Norm's back - destroyed the French GIGN and the Spanish Cazadores. The battle reached a fever pitch before the strain of the two universe's merging was too much. As the rap battle's violent crescendo sounded, the universe exploded. And thus, the RP ended. This is the story of a seemingly innocent roleplay named "Roleplayer's Resort."

Precipice of War - We Write Under The Sign Of The Goat

Pepperm1nts said
Goddamn Evan, get on Steam so we can sensationalize the situation in Ukraine together.

With my raggedy-ass mobile data (in fucking rural North Carolina, no less) situation? Wait 'til I get to a hotel.

Precipice of War - We Write Under The Sign Of The Goat

Not until Herbert tears another hole in the space-time continuum.

Precipice of War - We Write Under The Sign Of The Goat

Real life has been in the way of Armenia, but I'm cool enough to take month long breaks while I do Arma mods.

Precipice of War - We Write Under The Sign Of The Goat

An artistic and cultural exchange between different religions and cultures. This, children, goes in your AP textbooks.

Precipice of War - We Write Under The Sign Of The Goat

Say, raise your hand if you want to convert to the religion that I became a prophet of at the age of 16. Our Messiah is Tom Cruise.

Precipice of War - We Write Under The Sign Of The Goat

Yo, we should issue out a medal for the survivors. We could have a salad bar in our sigs with our MCFRP Division Medal, Red Chat Survivor Medal, and RPG Expeditionary Medal.

Precipice of War - We Write Under The Sign Of The Goat

So not much then. Kewl.